Disclaimer: Characters owned by J K Rowling, obviously. The Mirror, imagined/owned by myself.

Summary: For everything in this universe, there is an opposite. Yin and Yang, Fire and Water, Light and Dark. So, for the Mirror of Erised, that shows you the deepest and most desperate desires of your heart, surely there must be an opposite? Beware, for when you look into the Mirror of Cosmaruri, you will see the darkest, most terrible nightmares – you will see whatever you fear the most.

WARNING! This story will contain SLASH, as in two blokes, in love. You have been warned.

The Mirror of Cosmaruri

Samhainophobia

It was dark, completely dark; black as pitch, and deathly cold in the chamber. He could hear bitter northern winds shrieking all around him, blowing chips of stone and droplets of blood into his face. It was so damn cold, and he could feel his fingers and toes going numb as he staggered over the uneven stone floor, towards the mirror. It was shining, glowing, emitting a harsh, icy glare that seemed to watch him from across the room, calling him forwards. Inside his mind, James was shrieking, yelling, desperately trying to warn himself, to stop himself from making the inevitable mistake. It was too late. He reached forwards, and the tips of his fingers melted into the icy glass, sending out a shockwave of liquidized glass, like ripples in a murky pond. He tore himself away, stumbling backwards, staring at his hands in shock, as the icy liquid of the Mirror of Fear spread across his skin, freezing his limbs, chilling his very soul. He gasped in pain as the Mirror spread over his hands, his arms, torso, chest and neck, spreading up to his face. James screamed, and screamed, until the Mirror tumbled into his open mouth, spilling inside of him, freezing his blood, seizing his heart in an icy fist of iron. His eyes rolled up into his head, and James Potter fell backwards, falling and falling and falling until he hit the floor, and shattered, like a mirror shattering into a million pieces of glass, shining like teardrops, like, like- James? James! "James!"

James' eyes snapped open, meeting the worried emerald stare of one Lily Evans – upon whose lap he appeared to have been sleeping. James stared up at her blankly for a couple of seconds, his eyes still wide and terrified, trapped in the aftershock of his nightmare. He shivered, wiping cold sweat from his face, his breathing as hard and fast as though he'd just run a marathon round the Black Lake. Twice.

A gentle touch to his head made him jump, and tense, his arms flailing slightly, his eyes darting sightlessly from side to side, stinging as he stared fearfully up through the murky veil of sweat and tears. "Shh, shh… It's okay, James, it's only me…" Lily's soft voice brought him spiraling back to earth, and he lay still, making a conscious effort to calm down as she stroked his hair, whispering sweet reassurances as he swam slowly back to reality. His eyes drifted closed once more, the soft movement of her hands, her fingers running through his untamable hair, brushing away the cobwebs of sleep, banishing all memories of the icy terror of his nightmare.

"W…What happened?" His voice sounded weak and fearful, and he blushed, looking determinedly towards the floor as he sat up slowly. He flinched slightly as her slender hand rested lightly on his arm. It was strange, how such an innocent touch, as gentle and warm as a butterfly's kiss in springtime, could make him feel so safe, so reassured. Her voice was so warm, somehow melodic and sympathetic as she murmured, "Nothing that would make me think any less of you. James… James, it's okay, it's okay to be scared. Honestly, it's okay. I… I'm scared too you know. But… Somehow… I'm sitting here with you, and… And I know. I know that everything will be okay. Because it's you that's here with me."

James glanced sideways, and felt his face flush even darker as he met her earnest gaze, her bashful smile sending shivers down his spine. Unable to look away, James held her gaze, her expression unreadable. He would look back on that moment again and again in the years to come; eventually deciding it was equally the most blissful and most torturous experience of his life, as he sat there, un-moving, her face not more than a hand-span's distance from his. He could see her eyelashes, long and dark, sweeping elegantly over her pink blush-stained cheeks. And there, dotted over her high, delicate cheekbones, a scattering of freckles, sun's kisses staining her skin. He stared, unblinking, memorizing the fall of her hair, shining and red, like fairy-spun silk, tumbling over her slender shoulders, the soft feel of her cheeks, like velvet, under his Quidditch-calloused fingers. He sat there, drinking in the sight of her eyes, wide and green as grass, alight with summer sunshine, the soft swan's curve of her pale neck, the delicate brush of her fingertips against his skin. James would never, ever, forget the feel of his heart thumping in his chest, hard enough to burst, as he leant forwards slowly, watching her eyes fall shut, that exquisite shade of green closed off from the world, as he leant forwards, and gently, ever so gently, touched his lips to hers. James would never, ever forget that moment – for how could anyone forget a moment of perfection?

The sun had risen once more, sun sparkling over glistening white snow, icicles glowing like fairy-lights. The Wizarding Castle looked like something out of a fairy-story, encased in a giant glass snow-globe, filled with glitter and clasped lovingly in a toddler's fist. The surface of the Black Lake was perfectly blue and clear, the reflection of the winter sky simmering over the ice, as smooth and perfect as a sheet of polished glass. Lily left the last of her doubts behind at the edge of the lake, as James took her hand in his warm, strong grasp, and spun her out over the lake, her shoes perfectly transfigured into a beautiful pair of skates, the silver blades flashing like white-hot fire in the sunlight. She laughed, giddy with delight, as they skated together, arm in arm, gliding freely over the ice. She grinned, closing her eyes, trusting him to guide her, one arm stretched out, her hair streaming out behind her like a scarlet ribbon. James couldn't help but laugh aloud in sheer delight, the feel of her gloved hand resting in his, like it belonged there, filling him with pure and simple joy.

Eventually, they swirled to a stop, and flopped down on a hastily conjured rug under a willow tree at the edge of the lake. Leaning back against the tree trunk, James smiled fondly down at Lily, who was sitting curled up against him, her head resting lazily on his shoulder, as though they'd been like this forever. Sighing peaceably, James couldn't help but think… If… If I'd never seen that mirror… Well, I'd never have ended up here. Tentatively, he reached out, and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. Lily smiled up at him, her eyes filled with a fierce kind of joy – and then he knew for sure. "Lily…" He whispered, brushing his lips over hers once more. "Lily, I… I wanted to tell you… It was worth it. So, completely worth it. I… I would suffer those thousands of years of nightmares, all over again, just for the chance to live this dream." Lily laughed softly, pulling him into a tight hug, nuzzling her face against his neck. She inhaled deeply, and he felt her shudder slightly, sighing deeply.

She pulled back, and James couldn't help the spark of fear that rose up suddenly, as he saw a shadow pass over her eyes, like the silhouette of an albatross over a grass covered hill, rippling green and gold in the sun. "L…Lily? Are… Are you okay?" He knew that he sounded panicked, but for once, he just didn't care. This was more important. She, she was far more important. Lily smiled at him, and he noticed with a sickening jolt, that it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I… I'm fine, James." She didn't sound all that convincing. His doubt must have shown on his face, because she sighed, and flopped her head back down to his chest, her eyes fluttering closed as she breathed in time to the beat of his heart. "James… Don't… Don't panic, okay? Let's just, just, sit here for a while. Okay?" She mumbled drowsily, stroking his arm reassuringly. James nodded, and stared out over the sun-streaked Lake, his hand moving absently through her silky hair, his face serene – showing nothing of his inner turmoil.

They sat like that until the royal-blue sky was tinged with streaks of rose pink and tangerine, the stars fading slowly into view, clouds scrolling like banners across the heavens. Lily stirred, and looked up, her emerald-green eyes searching his face, though what she was looking for, James wasn't sure. Evidently, he passed the test, for she settled back into his arms, and hesitantly, began to speak. "James. About last night… I… I knew what you were talking about, you know. I knew you meant the mirror." James could've sworn he could feel his heart stop.

No.

No! I… That's not true! She can't, she CAN'T have! I… I won't, won't let her… No… Please, no… Finally, James realized, with a bitter sense of irony, he understood what Remus had meant, when he whispered his regret to Sirius, when they had thought they were alone together, in that moonlit shack… He finally realized the pain that Remus must have felt, his heartbroken voice echoing loudly in James' mind. I… I left you, in the hidden grey room, facing that, that… hellish mirror, and alone! I… I left you to that ALONE! Finally, James understood that feeling, that complete sense of bitter helplessness, the absolute guilt. Lily, blissfully oblivious to her beloved's distress, rambled on.

"Look, James. I… I don't want to upset you; I really don't, but… I thought that you should know. It… It was just last year, actually. The night before that awful day, you know, the day of the Defense OWL? The day that…" That I lost the boy I considered to be my best friend in all the world… "Well. You know. Anyway, I'd been on Prefect duty, and was patrolling the East Wing, and I, well, I completely forgot, James. I completely and totally forgot that the Left Hand Corridor was out of bounds, and, that dratted Mrs. Norris! Stupid kitten, she ran into the corridor, and like the idiot that I am, I ran straight after her. Of course, I soon remembered about the corridor being off limits, but… Well, what if it was dangerous? I… I didn't want to leave her; she's only a baby kitten! And I'm willing to bet my wand that she's Filch's only friend. So… So I followed her. But, I got lost. I couldn't remember which door I'd come in through, a…and it was really dark, and I didn't have the sense to cast a Lumos. I guess that just proves I'm not the amazing witch that everyone thinks I am. I'm just a muggleborn." I'm just a Mudblood really. One step up from a squib. Couldn't even cast a Lumos.

"Hey!" James interjected with a frown. "Don't you EVER say that again, dyou hear me?! Being a muggleborn has nothing to do with it! I don't care what Malfoy, and Snape think, the prejudiced gits; I don't care what they say! None of it's true! You are an amazing witch! You're so talented, and… Lily, I… I've felt it. The power of the Mirror. It drains you of all rational thought, feeds on your darkest nightmares. It was draining your soul, like a great big glass Dementor – it's no wonder you forgot to cast a Lumos! For Merlin's sake Lily! I-" He was cut off by a sudden and not unwelcome pressure on his lips. James kissed her back softly, once he had got over the shock of being kissed so spontaneously by the woman of his dreams, smiling slightly against her rose-petal lips. However, the solemnity of the situation all too soon came flooding back, and he pulled back regretfully. "Lily. Lily, I… I just want you to know – I've socialized with possibly every British Pureblood family out there – and not one of the witches could hold a candle to you. Okay?"

Okay, James. Okay. But… Well, to be honest, you're biased. But I'll let that go. For now.

"Okay. Do…Do you want me to keep going? With the story, I mean." At a slight nod from James, she cleared her throat, and continued. "So, I was running through the passageway, and it was black as night, even though it was midsummer, and the corridors outside were still filled with dusky twilight. They had only just lit the candles… Anyway, I kept going, but there were some steps that I didn't see, so I fell…"

God. It was awful. Like the world had just gone from under my feet, and I was falling through the bottomless chasms of hell.

James felt her shiver at the memory, and drew her closer, pressing a kiss into her fiery hair. "I was falling, through empty space, darkness and cobwebs… I couldn't hear anything but my own screams, and the sound of the Earth falling away. And then-"

A crunch of splintering bones, as my body met unforgiving stone. I could taste blood, and all I could see were white spots, fizzling across my vision. I thought I was dead.

"I landed. In… In that room. A…And it was so cold! You know, you've felt it too."

That bitter tang of icy death, that seemed to freeze the very marrow of your bones. It was so dark, so cold… I thought it was hell.

"And then I saw it. Looming out of the shadows like a beast rearing back, ready to- Ready to… It was almost like it had been waiting for me, trapping me in the darkness, hunting me…"

I… I was afraid.

"I didn't know what to do. I… I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It was like I had surrendered all control, without even being given the chance to put up a fight. So I lay there, as helpless as a newborn baby. It was like I forgot how to live, how to be human. My fight or flight instinct was completely gone. I… It was like being dead, Jamie. And of course, that isn't the worst, not by a long shot. Because then, like it had drained my spirit, lapped it up like a cat given milk, the Mirror came alive. And… And I saw… Me."

But, it wasn't me. It was me grown up. My hair was longer, darker, like it had been tainted by a world at war. Because that's what I saw. Smoking ruins, files of refugees fleeing our country. Fleeing the man with the eyes the colour of hell. And my eyes were glazed and tired, my face marred with frown-lines. I didn't even have dimples anymore. But… But there you were, James. You, carrying our son. Our newborn son. And you made me smile. You brought life to my deadened gaze. And I was happy. I laughed, and the people around me screamed as they died. I didn't even notice. Didn't even flinch. Didn't even seem to care.

"I saw me, us, our newborn son. Together, in the midst of the greatest, most terrible war our kind has ever seen. People were DYING, James. And we stood by, stood by and did nothing. And… And then…"

Then, the blackened skies tore open, and the rain began to fall. We ran, ran and hid. We thought we were safe from him. We thought we could keep him safe from harm… But… Betrayed by a rat, sold to the devil himself… I heard you scream as you died, trying to save us, trying to fight him off. I… I held our son and screamed as my heart died with you. I did nothing but scream in fear as my world exploded in a torrent of demonic laughter, and as downpour of fire, falling from the skies. And He was there, trying to kill my son! My SON! I… I wanted to protect him. I would have given anything to protect him. I didn't want the last thing I saw to be His face, ghastly and terrible, leering like a Halloween pumpkin… So I looked down, I looked at my son. The Avada Kedavra hit me like the sound of a speeding train and-

"James… Did you know that Death is the same colour as our son's eyes?"

Author's Note:

Samhainophobia – A fear of Halloween.

Okay, I am so, so sorry for leaving this story for so long! I got completely distracted by my other Harry Potter story, Rogue. Anyway, I'll try to update more regularly from now on! I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Maybe review and let me know?

And yes, the nightmare was very much inspired by that scene in the matrix… I couldn't resist…

Next Chapter: Regulus meets the Mirror of Nightmares – though he follows a drastically different path to get there…