Disclaimer: Characters owned by J K Rowling, obviously. The Mirror, imagined/owned by myself.

Summary: For everything in this universe, there is an opposite. Yin and Yang, Fire and Water, Light and Dark. So, for the Mirror of Erised, that shows you the deepest and most desperate desires of your heart, surely there must be an opposite? Beware, for when you look into the Mirror of Cosmaruri, you will see the darkest, most terrible nightmares – you will see whatever you fear the most.

WARNING! This story will contain SLASH, as in two blokes, in love. You have been warned.

The Mirror of Cosmaruri

Thanatophobia

"There's always hope."

Snape shook his head incredulously. "How can YOU of all people tell me that! You, with the world on your shoulders, and your fate practically inevitable!"

Harry just looked at him, sad and smiling.

"Because. Because if I let go of my hope... I would be letting go of everything. And I'm not ready to stop fighting. Not just yet."

Snape opened his mouth to reply, with words of gratitude, of thanks and much deserved respect - but before he could do so, Harry's smile froze into a grimace, Lily's eyes rolled back into his head, and he fell slowly forward, collapsing to the ground with a sickening crunch. Snape leapt up, cursing. He had forgotten that Potter – no. Harry. He had forgotten that Harry was injured. Sighing, he scooped Harry up into his arms, and strode off towards the Hospital Wing, robes billowing out behind him in a tsunami of black silk.

-----

Poppy Pomfrey was there the instant Severus kicked open the Hospital Wing door with one heavy-duty, unpolished boot. "Severus! Upon my word, Severus, what have you DONE?!" Severus rolled his eyes, and plonked Potter down on the bed nearest the nurse's office, before whirling around to face Pomfrey, his black eyes glinting with much-practiced fury.

"It is not I who has done anything!" He roared. "Do you really dare suggest to me that I would be a traitor to the cause?! That I would intentionally and maliciously harm Harry?!" The usually stern nurse had gone pale, and was now shaking her head and attempting desperately to eat her hastily spoken words.

"No, Severus, it was ill-phrased, I assure you I-"

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! QUESTIONING MY HONOUR, MY ALLEIGANCES-"

"SILENCE!"

They fell silent at once, turning slowly to face the piercing gaze of a furious Albus Dumbledore. "Now let me make one thing clear." The voice of the Headmaster was quietly wrathful, and Severus braced himself for the disappointed, reproachful look that was sure to be thrown his way. Instead, however, Dumbledore was staring straight at Madam Pomfrey. "I will not tolerate such accusations towards my son, Poppy. This I must make clear."

Severus' mouth dropped open in surprise, and he felt his heart twist, almost painfully. His… Son?

Albus…

Poppy opened and closed her mouth rapidly, reminding Severus of a rather intoxicated Grindylow, before nodding stiffly. "I see. I'll be in my office if the boy needs me." There was a slight, awkward pause, where neither Severus, nor Dumbledore begged her to stay and help, before she nodded again, and snapped, "Headmaster," before turning on her heel, and stalking off into the office.

Dumbledore watched her go with a slight sigh. "Goodness." He mumbled eventually. "It's possible, I think, that it is going to take more than a bottle of Ogden's Old to sooth those ruffled feathers…" Severus snorted, but when Dumbledore looked up, he turned his gaze determinedly to Harry. There was another moment of silence, in which Severus thought of a million things to say – but could find no way to phrase them. In the end, he didn't need to. He tensed as Dumbledore moved to stand next to him, and place a wizened hand gently on his shoulder.

"Severus, my boy. No matter what harsh words you speak, or defensive, unbreakable masks you wear, to me… To me you shall always be the mistrusted, friendless, wonderfully bright young child, with such an unloving background – but such desire to be loved – who begged for my help. You shall have it, Severus. You shall have that and more. You are as good as my son. Surely you must know that."

Severus managed to nod, and spoke hesitantly, trying desperately to ignore the lump in his throat. "I… Albus. My words before… They were inappropriate, and I apologize." Dumbledore just chuckled.

"Not all of them, my boy." Severus looked up, puzzled, and Dumbledore smiled gently. "You called him Harry." Severus could feel his face growing hot as Albus burbled on. "For how long, I wonder, have you seen him as her son, instead of his?"

-----

The world is bright outside…

There's sunshine.

It's making the backs of my eyelids dance with colour.

I can hear someone breathing.

Is that me?

No.

Someone's there.

They're holding my hand!

Who…?

Harry cracked open an eyelid, and was mildly surprised to see not Hermione, or even Ron, but Remus Lupin. The werewolf was sitting on a rickety chair by the side of his bed, holding one of Harry's hands tightly in his, and staring distractedly into the distance, as though it were a portal to happier times long since passed. Harry tried to greet his ex-Professor, but all that came out was a slight whimper. Remus' amber eyes automatically snapped into focus, and he looked down at Harry, smiling tiredly.

"Harry! It's good to see you awake! You've had us all somewhat worried!" Harry frowned.

What the hell…? What happened? Was I hit by a Bludger again? God that's embarrassing…

"Remus." Remus smiled back at him, but did not let go of his hand. Harry squinted slightly. Even without his glasses, he could tell that Lupin was hiding something. His voice was too strained, his grip on Harry's hand just too tight to be mild concern. He's really worried! Was it Voldemort?

Wait.

Someone's already asked me that.

Was it the Dark Lord?

No…

Why was Snape there?!

I-

Oh.

Ohgod.

The Mirror.

Harry suddenly found that he was gripping Remus' hand equally tight, and that his eyes were blurred with tears. Remus muttered something soothingly, and Harry wiped his eyes on his pyjama sleeve. His glasses were pressed into his hand, and he put them on. Now he could see, Remus' worry was even more evident. There were massive purple rings like bruises under his eyes, and his forehead was creased into a frown. Harry swallowed.

"Did… Did Snape – I mean, did Professor Snape tell you, Remus?" Please don't… I didn't… I didn't want…

Remus just nodded, looking old and sad. "Yes, Harry. I… I understand, you know. I know what you're going through. So… If you want to talk about it, then I-"

"No you don't!" Harry interrupted rudely, his jaw set and his eyes blazing. "You have no fucking IDEA what I've been through, so don't you DARE sit there all patronizing and tell me that you UNDERSTAND, that you KNOW WHAT I'm GOING THROUGH! Because you DON'T, you FUCKING WELL DON'T!" He fell silent, the look of pure hurt on Remus' face sending a stab of guilt through his heart. He bit his lip, and tried speaking more softly. "Remus, I-"

"No." Harry blanched. His old defense professor's voice was suddenly deep, reminding him of the musky blue-grey of twilight, and moonlight bleaching leaves all silver in the dark. This was not the voice of a man. Remus looked at him, his amber eyes glinting, strangely yellow. "You should know by now, Harry, that I don't lie. I don't assume, I don't mock – I would never sit here and belittle you like that! You should know that, Harry. You should already know." Harry folded his arms defensively.

"How, exactly?! You might be my parents best friend, but I don't even know you! You don't know me! You're not my father!" Remus blinked at him, and all the angry tension seemed to drain away, his face almost sagging in despair.

"No," his voice was quiet and broken as he whispered, "I was his best friend. But he's gone now. They've all gone now. Everyone I ever truly loved has died! And you, Harry… You're all I have left of them! So please… Please, I'm begging you. Please don't push me away!" Remus' eyes were now suspiciously shiny, and he was holding Harry's hand as though afraid he might try to run away.

Harry sighed, and yanked his hand out of Remus' grasp. Ignoring the man's heartbroken expression, he picked at the woolen hospital blanket and started to speak. "I… This is… I don't know what you think I saw. I don't… It was… It wasn't some sort of cursed object, Remus. It wasn't a spell, or an enchantment. I… It was like it was alive. Like it had grown, put down roots and spread throughout the castle, threading its poison deep into the heart of Hogwarts. It's there, Remus. Everywhere. It… It can find you, wherever you are. It always found me. It… It called to me, Remus. I could hear it. All of the time, everywhere, always calling. Calling to me, telling me… Telling me such awful… Awful things…" He trailed off, shivering. Remus placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, but Harry refused to look up.

"Harry." His old professor's voice was quiet and gentle, but Harry couldn't bear to look at him. "Harry, when I said I knew what you were going through, I meant it. I too… I too have seen the Mirror of Cosmaruri." Harry's head snapped up, and he stared at his teacher, aghast.

"Y…You've seen it?! You've seen the mirror?!" Remus nodded slowly.

"Yes. Many, many years ago, when I was just a First Year." He smiled faintly, staring off into the distance again. "It was before I was friends with your father – before I'd even spoken to Sirius." He chuckled. "Now that is strange to imagine. A world before Sirius… And James, of course. Anyway, I had been on my way to the Whomping Willow one full moon – and this is how I know it was no enchantment. Harry, there is no spell powerful enough to stop a werewolf transformation. There is no way of escaping it. That night, when I was stuck in the chamber… That is the only full-moon-lit night where I have remained human since I was three years old." Harry felt a sudden pang of sympathy for Remus, and impulsively leaned over, giving the man an awkward hug.

"I'm sorry for yelling." He muttered awkwardly, and made to move back – but before he could, Remus inhaled sharply, and as he crushed Harry into a proper hug, Harry could've sworn he saw a tear on the man's scarred cheek. Eventually, he cleared his throat, and Remus sat back, looking embarrassed.

"I apologise." He muttered, but Harry shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, Remus." There was a pause, before Harry spoke again. "I… There's something I need to tell you, Remus. It's just… It's going to make you think I'm a coward." Remus shook his head almost violently.

"Never, Harry. Nothing could ever possibly make me think that of you. Nothing!" Harry swallowed uncomfortably and nodded, blushing slightly, but Remus wasn't finished. "Honestly. The child who's Boggart is fear itself thinks he is a coward?! Ridiculous." Harry sighed.

"That's just it, Professor. I… You don't understand. My Boggart… It's a Dementor. But… But not because they represent fear. I'm not… I'm not that brave. It's because… Because whenever a Dementor comes near me, I can hear my parents deaths. I can hear them dying, and I remember… I remember all the people I've killed, all the people, their faces, their faces-" Harry broke off as he was once again forced into a bear hug from Remus.

"Don't Harry." His voice was thick with tears. "Don't ever, ever blame yourself for this! You mustn't! It wasn't your fault, Harry. None of it. None of it. Not James, not Lily and… Not Sirius. Never."

"But I… If I hadn't been so stupid-" Remus cut into his protests with an angry snarl.

"Harry! Listen to me! Sirius would NEVER have wanted you to blame yourself! Ever! He loved you, Harry, and mark my words, he would've been PROUD to die for you! To die fighting for you! It's what he would've wanted." Harry couldn't hold back the tears this time, and hugged Remus back, crying with deep sobs that made his chest ache.

"I miss him, Remus-"

How…

How do you know of this?!

"What? How do I know of what?" Harry frowned up at Remus, confused. Remus blinked.

"I… I didn't say anything, Harry." Harry looked around, bewildered, and the voice spoke again, echoing loudly, angrily through his head.

HOW HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?!

He blinked, mouth falling open in horror. "You can't be," he breathed.

NO!

NO!

He turned frantically to Remus, grasping the other man's robes. "Remus! He's here, he's in my head-"

I WILL NOT GO BACK THERE!

NO, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME SEE THIS-

"Voldemort." Harry whispered, before he collapsed unconscious onto the hospital bed.

Fifty-three years ago.

Such a long time.

Such a long, long time.

I can scarcely remember it, Harry Potter.

I… I was still human then. Still just a boy.

My name was Tom.

TomMarvoloRiddle. Tom Riddle. Riddle. Tom. I AM LORD VOLDEMORT. My name was Tom.

I was a prefect. Fifth year, the year before I murderedher opened the chamber. The year before I lostmyself started down the path to immortality.

And, as is a prefect's duty, I would patrol the corridors. That was possibly one of the preferable moments at Hogwarts. Dumbledore oldfool would have left me alone, and I would be away from prying eyes. There would be no one there, watching me judgingme. I could think over new theories, new spells, things I'd learnt. Things I'd discovered plansplans. But you must know all this already, Harry Potter. Somehow, somehow, you've seen a part of me I thought I'd buried burnedburnedup long ago.

It was a normal day, until it happened. Just a normal Tuesday. Double History of Magic, Ancient Runes, and Transfiguration. Nothing unusual there. But…

It seems incredible, does it not, that I didn't realize. That I couldn't tell, that I didn't know. I knew everything, you see. I knew everything that happened within the Hogwarts walls. I knew all the news, all the rumours – the family tragedies, arguments between friends, who had money, who had power, who was the best in which classes, who stood out, who mattered. But I never saw it coming.

I never saw the Mirror until it was right in front of me, and my old, wrinkled, lifeless LIFELESS face stared back at me.

I was old, Harry Potter.

I, Tom Riddle, had grown old, older than Dumbledore!

I was hunched over, wrinkled, wizened, weakened, my whole life worn out, wasted, over.

And I had accomplished nothing NOTHING.

I would die, old and alone alonealone, with absolutely NOTHING to show for it.

I…

I swore to myself, then and there, never to let that happen. I couldn't couldn'tcouldn't let that happen. I couldn't leave behind a world that forgot I was there, a world in which I played no part.

People may whisper my name in fear – but at least they remember it! They will remember me forever! Neverending…

Just think, Harry! My name, carved with terror horrordisgust into so many people's hearts, a shadow curse over their lives!

Beautiful, isn't it? Beautifulbeautiful.

So you see, Harry, you can never kill me!

I can't won'twon'twon't die!

Not ever!

EVER!

Harry sat bolt upright, gasping, Voldemort's demonic laughter ringing in his ears. Remus sat forwards worriedly, gripping Harry's shaking shoulders. "Harry! Harry, say something! Harry, talk to me, please!" Harry just leant forwards, and rested his head against Remus' chest.

"Remus." Remus patted his back almost frantically, and placed a trembling hand on Harry's messy hair.

"Yes, Harry? What is it? Are you alright? What did… What did he say?!" Remus stiffened as Harry's shoulders started to shake. "Harry? Don't… Harry?!" Harry sat up, his eyes streaming with tears, laughter spilling almost crazily from his mouth.

"Remus! It's over! It's over! All the… All the worrying, the planning, the plotting, the fear, it's all over!" Remus stared at him, aghast.

"H…Harry? What do you mean? Is… Is You-Know-Who… Is he dead?!" Harry chuckled, and shook his head.

"Nah. But you don't have to worry anymore, Remus. You don't have to fear for me, anymore. You don't have to… You don't have to worry about losing me." Harry smiled, and placed a hand on Remus' face. "It's all okay now, Remus. Riddle's seen that Mirror too, you know. And it destroyed him, it tore him up inside. It turned him into a monster! But I… I've seen that Mirror. I've fought against it, and won! I've stared into that Mirror, and Riddle stared back. But… It takes more than a mirror, more than my own memories to destroy me, because… I know now. I know that... I'm not him. I'm never going to be him. I may have his flaws, his thoughts in my head, his soul, entwined around my heart... But I'll never fall to the same desperate end. I'll never let the Darkness consume my sanity. Never." Harry paused in his wild ramblings, and grinned, tears still spilling from his eyes, as he whispered, "I know that I'm stronger than him."

Remus smiled tentatively back, the first gleams of hope alighting in his eyes. "I'm so much stronger," Harry breathed, "So much more powerful... I... For the first time... For the first time I actually do believe... That I can do this."

"Do what?" Dumbledore's voice, wise and kindly, rang through the Hospital Wing, and Harry looked up, beaming, his eyes glittering with determination.

"I can win."

Author's Note:

Thanatophobia – A fear of death.

Thanks to TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep for my 100th EVER review! Not only that, but this chapter contains my 100,000th word on ! So thanks to everyone who has read my stories, reviewed, and made this whole writing thing worthwhile!

Well, that's it! I hope everyone liked this story – and feel free to check out some of my others!