I owe you guys a huge apology. This took beyond forever. I never forgot about it, and I have been working on it- but life is crazy. I started a full time teaching job, I moved and life simply got in the way of writing. I'll try to be better. Thanks a million to my amazing beta, fluffernutter8, her input is so critical. Both literary and grammatical. Thanks!
I won't keep you further- enjoy, and remember- reviews are love!
Logan entered the examination room and set the car seat on the table. He pushed the sunshade up and smiled at his little girl, undoing the buckles while he did so. "Hey there, sleepy head, time to wake up and see how big you've gotten," he gurgled at her, not noticing the doctor entering the room. He heard the man chuckle, and turned to him, baby already in his arms. Dr. Goldstein was smiling at him, pointing towards the scale, gesturing that he should undress Laylee and put her on.
"How are you today, little lady?" he asked the baby as he adjusted the weights on the scale.
"Good, good. Eating a lot." Logan took the liberty of answering for his infant daughter while pulling out a clean diaper out of the bag.
"Five pounds, fifteen ounces! Growing. And how's your wife doing?" Dr. Goldstein turned to Logan, handing him the now naked and crying child.
"She's ok, doing better. A little frustrated at being stuck at home. I don't think she ever got used to the pace of not working," Logan said, feeling oddly close to the doctor he had known for less than two months. He was used to keeping his life private, having only a small circle of people he deemed trustworthy, knowing that even though he left HPG, he was still heir to it and he needed to avoid having his face and business splashed all over cheap tabloids. But more than that, he definitely did not want to find the faces of his wife and daughter there. Remembering the baby, he quickly dressed Laylee and calmed her.
"I assume she went to see Dr. Kelmar?"
"Yes, she did and it's definitely helping. It's a slow process, though. I'm trying to give it time." He snuggled Laylee close to his chest, the last of her wails subsiding, as Dr. Goldstein looked at her in his arms. "I think that once this one gets bigger and we are able to see more of our families and friends, things will be easier for her."
"Why aren't you seeing them?" The doctor looked at him curiously.
"In the NICU they said we should stay away from young children and closed spaces, and most of our family and friends have young children," Logan explained, placing Laylee back in the car seat and doing the straps.
"What they mean is you should be careful. The warning usually holds towards small children, the age where they have lots of runny noses and 'teething' fevers. Older than six or seven, unless they are sick, I wouldn't worry. Laylee looks great, she holds her head nicely and her smile is beautiful. And try not to take all recommendations to an extreme because that is all that they are- recommendations," Dr. Goldstein said, patting Logan on the shoulder on his way out of the room. "Let's give it two weeks before you come in again, ok?"
Logan looked at Laylee, almost back to sleep, and smiled. "We're making progress, baby girl. Two weeks! You are getting so big that before you know it, you won't even fit into the preemie clothes anymore." He shook the doctor's hand, pulled the sunshade down, and whistling, walked out of the office.
He clicked the seat into the base in the car and got in the driver's seat. Things were changing, he realized. This morning Rory had fed and dressed her while he made breakfast. Rory smiled and made funny faces, trying to elicit a smile from the infant, and Logan had turned his back to hide the fact that he was grinning madly. His Ace was slowly starting to re-emerge, and he couldn't be happier.
After putting the plates in the dishwasher and washing the pan, Rory poured herself a cup of chocolate milk and stood in the kitchen, not really sure what she should be doing. She and Logan had tackled both adult and baby laundry last night, and had even put everything away. She got back into bed and picked up her book, reading the first paragraph on the page about six times, before giving up and putting it back down with a huff. She had spent most of Monday morning going through the presents in the library, creating a pile of things they would never use and putting all the rest away, and now all she was left with were half a million thank you notes to write. With a sigh, she grabbed her drink and made her way back down the stairs, settling in her favorite armchair with her laptop in her lap. She looked around at the transforming room, where a few bins now held baby toys and stuffed animals, the carpeted floor was newly adorned with a play mat that had hanging toys over it, and most of the books were in boxes, waiting to be taken to the main library. The room was slowly transforming into a family and play room, as she wanted it to. She smiled to herself and thought that maybe, just maybe, things are starting to get back on the track she wanted their lives on.
She managed to write two notes, one to Babette and one to Miss Patty, before giving up. Babette had gotten Laylee a pink baby outfit that had a sparkly silver crowns and shoes pattern all over with ruffles on the rear. Across the chest in bright pink it said Princess. The gift had also included a matching headband. Rory made a mental note to take a picture of Laylee in the outfit to show Babette and then place it with the rest of the stuff going to Goodwill. Miss Patty got them some ballerina tutus in an assortment of colors and sizes, and some ballet slippers. Every girl wants to be a ballerina sometimes the card read, and Rory smiled, placing the items in the bin of things too big. She was sitting in front of the computer, staring at the blank screen of what was supposed to be the note for Gypsy. Frustrated, she shut down the tab, opening a Word document instead and starting to type. Writing seems to have always been your passion, why not channel difficulties out through that? Dr. Kelmar had asked during their appointment yesterday, and she wanted to try. Her mind was racing faster than she could type, and by the time she looked up at the clock over an hour later, she had some material which, while rough, could make the first two articles in a series.
She smiled to herself, and went back to read it over, already trying to make it into an actual column, burrowing deeper into the chair as she settled back into the rhythm of working.
When Logan walked into the house with Laylee and Finn in tow, he found Rory sitting in her armchair, completely absorbed in something she was working on. He smiled to himself, realizing that this was the first time he has seen her sit there since that horrible night, and walked towards her, frowning slightly when even then she doesn't seem to notice him coming.
"What's got you so sucked in, Ace?" he casually asked, sitting on the arm of the chair behind her back, trying to sneak a peek at the screen as she looked up at him, startled.
"Nothing, nothing," she said a little too quickly, minimizing the document and looking back at him. "How was the doctor?" She was trying to divert his attention, and he knew it.
"Great. I'll tell you all about it over lunch. Finn's cooking." He dropped a kiss on her head.
"Lunch? Already?" She frowned, looking at the clock.
"It's almost one, Ace. Are you going to tell me what you were working on?" he asks, pressing closer to her.
"All in due time, Logan." She shut the lid of the computer and got up, placing it on the table in the room and reaching for his hand. Logan grasped hers, deciding not to press her, to let her come to him when she was ready. They walked out of the room together in search of their daughter and crazy Australian friend.
When Logan and Rory walked into the kitchen, Finn was placing what looked to be sandwiches on three plates. He ignored their entrance. Logan smirked when he noticed Laylee in the bouncy seat on the counter, looking around curiously. "What'chya making, Finny?" Rory asked as she made her way to the stove to try and sneak a peek.
"You shall see in a moment, now move." He pushed her aside lightly, placing the pan back on the stovetop and drizzling something from the measuring cup on the plates. "Done!" he announced, grabbing two plates and sliding them onto the island, turning back to grab a third and sitting down with it. "Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in!"
"Ah, Finn, darling, what is this lovely lunch you have made for us?" Rory questioned, looking suspiciously at the sandwiches and salad he had placed in front of her. Logan chuckled, leaving Laylee's side to take a seat by where Rory stood.
"They're mozzarella paninis, love. And a garden salad with honey mustard dressing. Try it!" He picked up his own sandwich as if to demonstrate.
Rory took her seat, lifting up the bread and examining it closely. "And there's no green anything in it, right?" She shot Finn a questioning look, and only after a shake of his head did she take a bite. It was like a mozzarella stick and marinara sandwich, and Rory smiled as she devoured it. Logan and Finn laughed, commenting on the return of the Gilmore appetite.
"So, Doc's happy with her weight. Five fifteen! Just an ounce short of the whole six pounds." Logan told her, pride shining in his eyes. "And she's holding her head great and smiling. We've been told to come back in two weeks."
"Wow. Who would have thought, almost triple her birth weight," Rory said, laughing slightly to herself.
"What's so amusing, Ace?" Logan was pretty sure he was missing the joke.
"Nothing. It's just that all baby books tell you that your baby needs to triple the birth weight by a year old. Ours is not even six months yet and she's doing it!" She laughed. "And yes, I know it's different for her, but still, I'm allowed to take some pride- I do all the feeding!"
Logan was encouraged by her good mood and appetite, watching as Finn placed another panini on her plate even though her salad remained untouched once she had picked all out the avocado. "Doc also said that we should ease up on the quarantine," he started, gauging her reaction. "Said that kids over six are not really an issue as long as they are not sick, and that we can slowly see younger ones too." He tried to say it casually and gently, knowing she didn't want to think about her brothers now.
"That's good news," she said quietly, hoping to drop the subject. She poked her fork around in her salad and looked at Finn. "Is there any more salad? I've eaten all the good parts of mine." She looked down sheepishly, eyes in her plate.
"There's more avocado in the little bowl, set aside for you," Finn told her, smiling wickedly. "I remember you craved them all throughout your pregnancy."
"The other good thing to come out of the pregnancy: Rory Gilmore eating something green and healthy," Logan teased as he grabbed the bowl and set it in front of her. "Eat up. At least I know that one good thing goes in your body."
"I want to do a photo shoot," Finn blurted out suddenly, looking straight at them from across the island.
"What?" they both asked simultaneously, looking up at him.
"A photo shoot. Of the two of you and Laylee. I have a bunch of pictures of hers from the NICU and they're the basis of my show, but I need some sappy family pictures to hang around the gallery and attract customers." He put his fork down and looked straight into Rory's eyes. "It can just be here in the backyard, we don't have to go anywhere. I just need some family-friendly, pretty people beauty shots. Family portraits are a good way to start a client following, even if it's not my favorite thing to do. Well, not when the subject is not my gorgeous godchild."
"Ok," Rory said, nodding. Seeing an opportunity, she hesitantly asked, "By the way, did you make the birth announcements Mitchum was talking about?" She still felt weird that someone other than her had sent out birth announcements for her daughter, and she wanted to put the mystery to rest.
"I took the pictures, but the idea to send them out was Lorelai's, and the design was hers too. I just took care of the printing," he told her, eyes still locked with hers. "We wanted to tell you about it and have your final approval, but then Laylee got that infection." He paused, sneaking a glance at his goddaughter looking at toys in her bouncy seat. "And you had other things on your mind."
"Right. Well, thanks. I appreciate it." She kept her gratitude brief, her mind going back to the day she had almost lost her daughter for the second time. She recalled Finn and Lorelai being there, and the serious faces of the doctors when they told her that they were giving Laylee very strong antibiotics and that they hoped she would make it through the night. She remembered when they intubated Laylee again, pushing that plastic tube back down her throat and forcing air into her lungs when she couldn't do it on her own anymore. Her baby's face was full of tubes again, she was back on the vent, and gone were the oxygen nasal cannula on room air and the thought of being discharged earlier than planned. She had an infection that was wreaking havoc through her tiny body and she couldn't breathe again. Rory felt like she was being suffocated by the memory of the beeping monitor, the thoughts of being shoved aside again as doctors pumped more and more drugs into the baby's tiny body, upping her dosage and percentage of ventilation until she was stable again. She felt Logan tugging on her sleeve, but it was Laylee's cry that brought her out of the haze of memories. "Is she ok?" she asked, almost surprised to see her there, breathing on her own, dressed in a light blue outfit and little socks rather than just a diaper and wires.
"She's fine. Are you ok?" Logan quietly asked, searching her face for evidence of where her mind had just taken her.
"Yeah, just memories." She smiled at him weakly as she made her way towards the counter the bouncy seat was on. "Hey Finn, do you still have a copy of the announcement?"
"I think I must somewhere, and I have the saved file, so I can always print out more," he told her, watching her gently pull Laylee into her arms and hold the baby a little closer than usual.
"Good, I would like to see it. So, when's the photo shoot?" she asked, changing the subject abruptly.
"Tomorrow morning, 5 am. Sunrise is the best light!" he announced, grabbing the plates and heading towards the sink.
"5 am?" Logan shouted. "Are you nuts?"
"Come on, you'll be up to feed the little miss anyways. Why not roll around the grass for a bit?" Finn finished placing the dishes in the sink and made his way upstairs, clearly assuming that his models would agree with his logic.
"We'd better have an early night tonight then, Ace. I can't believe you agreed to this," Logan grumbled, annoyed that his best friend had roped him into it.
"He's right though. We are usually up to feed her between 5:30 and 6 anyway. I'll just grab an early morning nap before going for shopping and lunch with Steph." She made her way towards the living room, Laylee snuggled close to her chest. "And I will start calling those babysitters this afternoon, otherwise we won't have a babysitter for Saturday night," she called over her shoulder, letting him know she hadn't forgotten about his work event.
Logan sighed and made his way into the office. His household might be crazy, but he could at least try to get some work done that day.
Logan pulled Laylee out of the bath and started rubbing her dry. He was whistling happily, drawing the attention of the infant who turned wide blue eyes at him. Smirking at her, he quickly got her dressed and passed his hand gently through the little bit of reddish hair that was on her head. "Growing and growing every day, aren't you, my sweet girl?" he asked her, picking her up and snuggling her close to his chest. "Let's go find Mommy so you can eat and go to bed, okay, princess?"
He headed down the stairs towards the office, only to find Rory hanging up the phone with an annoyed expression on her face. "What's wrong?" he asked her immediately, sitting on the desk facing her in the swivel chair.
"I have talked to three so called recommended babysitters and they all sounds like complete idiots," she told him, crossing her arms in front of her and looking like a child, before reaching for him to hand her the baby. Her voice softened as she kissed her forehead. "Hey sweetie. You smell so clean."
"Okay," he sighs, not wanting to cast aspersions on her judgment, although he did wonder what they could have said in a short phone call that made Rory so quick to classify them as idiots. "You talked to three, so try the last one. Maybe she'll be better?" he suggested, a painful smile gracing his tired face.
"Here goes nothing," she said, picking up the phone with one hand and dialing while she spread her other palm over Laylee's back. Logan kissed her forehead and leaned back against the table, clearly wanting to be in the room while she talked to the girl. "Ashley? Hey. My name is Rory Huntzberger. My husband got your number from one of the nurses in our pediatrician's office and I'm looking for a babysitter for my daughter for Saturday night." It was such a simple conversation starter, but Logan still smiled. He never got tired of hearing her called Huntzberger, and the way she said my daughter made his grin grow larger.
"Do you have experience watching small infants? Great. And I assume you have a CPR certification? Excellent. She was a preemie, and is now 5 weeks old pretty much." Logan watched her nod and say uh-huh into the phone a few times as she listened to the girl talk. "That's great to hear. Are you available on Saturday from about four to-"- She looked at Logan questioningly. 10:30? 11? he mouthed at her. "About 11, give or take? Excellent. How about you come by than? I'll text you our address. Thank you." She ended the call, a slight frown on her face.
"What's wrong?" Logan asked her again, crossing his arms across his chest as his eyes bore into her.
"She sounded better than the other ones, but I just don't know. I don't know if I trust Laylee with anyone while she's still so little, Logan." Rory said, looking down at the child who was snuggled into her.
"She'll be fine. Go on, get this one to bed. I have some stuff to finish up." He pushed himself off the desk, kissing Laylee's forehead and then offering Rory his hand.
She took it and stood up, adjusting Laylee in her arms and starting to walk upstairs. "Can you just bring diapers with you when you come up later? We're running low in our room." He nodded and headed into the closet, pulling out a new package and going to place it by the stairs to take up later.
After doing a few more hours of work, Logan got a text from Rory. I'm shutting the TV off and going to sleep. You coming? We have an early day tomorrow. He chuckled, finishing the email he was working on and logging off the system. Be there in 15, go to sleep, he texted her back, stretching and then getting up from his desk and heading into the kitchen to grab a cup of water. On his way upstairs, the phone rang.
"Hello?" he answered, regretting it immediately as Emily's voice came through the speaker. With quick, sharp words that left him no doubt as to where Lorelai and Rory's wit came from, she berated him for not bothering to stay in touch, and then got him to begrudgingly agree to attend dinner the following Friday. Annoyed with himself for allowing Emily Gilmore to guilt trip him, he headed upstairs, remembering to take the package of diapers up with him. But his progress to bed was stopped again when he found Finn staring at the closed door of the room adjacent to their bedroom. He went up and stood beside his friend.
"That was supposed to be Laylee's room," he told him, looking down. "We never got around to picking a color to paint it." He opened the door quietly and showed him into the dark red room. His fingers clutched the diapers a little tighter than necessary. "We never picked out furniture or any of it." Finn nodded and moved into the room, leaning one of his knees on the window seat, and looking out the window. He turned and faced Logan.
"I'll take care of it," he said firmly, still studying the room carefully.
"Just don't let Rory catch you in here. The thought that we never got around to it doesn't help her mood," Logan told him, and he left the room, closing the door silently behind him and heading into his own bedroom. He quickly shed his clothes, climbing into bed and pulling Rory to him. "I got us roped into Friday night dinner at your grandparents next week," he whispered in her ear.
"S'ok," she told him, turning in his arms so she was facing him. "They would have wanted to see Laylee soon anyway." He kissed her head and closed his eyes, falling asleep with her, impossibly grateful for all of it.
"Finn, it's five am and my baby is out in only her diaper. Get on with it, my patience is limited," Logan grumbled, annoyed at the cheery commands coming from the Australian so early in the morning. "How come you are so happy? The SUN is coming up, you know."
"I'm doing what I love, mate. I didn't need to drink myself into oblivion last night," Finn told him, tweaking the settings on his camera. "But how about we just start with the little one, so you can finish that coffee I made you guys." He motioned for Logan to place a now naked Laylee in a little basket, and began snapping pictures. Logan frowned as he saw Finn place a big flower beside her, and then added an oversized headband.
Rory had joined them outside, nursing a mug of coffee herself, and leaned on Logan. He instinctively wrapped his free arm around her and they both watched as Finn kept switching the accessories on their daughter, from headbands to tutus to fuzzy blankets, capturing images in various positions. Laylee was oblivious, and just slept through it all, sometimes contracting her face as if dreaming. Sipping the last of her coffee, Rory placed the mug on the soft grass and walked closer to the makeshift studio. "Hey Finn, didn't you want some family pictures? Because I'd be happy to let you be with her every day at this hour, but there is no need for me to be awake. "
"Come here, then, love! Let's get some of you with her." He motioned for her to come closer, and she picked up the sleeping child, snuggling her close to her chest and kissing her forehead. Finn snapped that photo, and then spotted the lounge chair that was currently under a tree that was in full bloom, shedding purple flowers all around it. "Rory, love, why don't you go sit over there, under that tree?" Rory looked up and nodded, quickly making her way towards the chair. Finn went over and shook the branch a little, so some petals drifted down on them as he took a few steps back and carefully tried to capture the moment between mother and daughter.
It didn't take long for Laylee to realize that it was Rory holding her, and she opened her blue eyes at her mother. Rory smiled at her, and made funny faces, but when the child started to cry, she helped her in the only way she knew: she nursed her. Laylee was happy to eat again, and Rory tugged her shirt around to make sure that Finn could only see some of her midriff and the back of the child's head. Logan was surprised, as Rory always nursed with a cover when not in the privacy of their bedroom, but hoped that this was another sign of her getting more comfortable with Laylee. When Laylee was done, Finn asked if they would all just lie down on the blanket he spread on the grass. Logan took Laylee from Rory and dressed her in a white onesie and tiny jeans, so she would match the two of them. Rory sat down, leaning against the trunk of the tree the blanket was lying under, waiting for Logan to join her.
They were having fun. Yes, it was early in the morning, but Laylee was in a good mood, smiling, happy and alert, and all three of them enjoyed rolling around on the blanket together, eventually moving for a family cuddle in the hammock. As Finn snapped a picture of Logan and Rory touching their noses to each other, Rory's cell rang. Peeking at the display, Finn called out, "Love, it's your Dad." Rory got off the hammock with Logan's help, and ran to pick up her phone. Finn started taking some daddy/daughter shots as she walked away from them towards the other side of the yard and answered the call.
"Dad? Everything ok? It's 7:30 in the morning." She could feel worry spreading through her.
"Hey, kid. I'm sorry for calling so early, but I have a huge favor to ask." He sighed, bracing himself.
"Go on," she said, her original panic not dissipating.
"I found a flyer about a mother-daughter tea they are having at Gigi's school tomorrow that she never told me anything about. She claims that it's girls only so I can't take her and that's why she doesn't want to go and now I'm stuck. The nanny is away on vacation, and I have no one else to ask. She will be the only one there without someone to go with, Ror, and I just…" He took a breath, trailing off as his rant ended.
"What time?" she asked, her heart going out to Gigi. After feeling alone for not having a dad around for much of her childhood, she was determined not to let her sister be the odd one out.
"Really? You'll do it?" Christopher was shocked.
"Yes. She's my sister, and she shouldn't suffer just because Sherry is a crappy mother." Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked at her child, smiling so easily as Logan lifted her up in the air.
"You are a good mother, Rory, and a terrific sister. I don't know many who would do something like this last minute for their sister," he told her, picking on the subtext even without seeing her expression. "She doesn't have actual school tomorrow, but the event is scheduled for eleven. I would love if you could all come down, and I'll hang out here with Logan and Laylee. I took the day off work anyway."
"Yeah, that might be the best idea. I don't really want to drive the whole thing by myself. And I hate pumping," she added absentmindedly.
"Yeah," Chris said awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to that. "You're welcome to drive up tonight if you want to avoid morning traffic. Just let me know, ok? And again, thank you so so much. You don't know what a relief this is for me."
"It'll be great to see you Dad. I'll confirm with Logan, but hopefully we'll see you soon. Love you." She concluded the call, walking back towards the group. Logan had placed Laylee on the blue blanket on her belly and Finn had thrown the blankie Lorelai had made her over her head, and was snapping pictures of her smiling and trying to keep her head up.
By the time Rory reached the blanket, phone discarded by Logan's in the grass again, he was holding Laylee in one arm and beaming at her. When Rory got close enough, he pulled her towards him with his free arm, kissing her. Rory was surprised by his actions, but kissed him back. When they parted, she pressed her forehead into his and laughed with him. "What was that for?" she asked quietly, a huge smile gracing her lips.
"Because I love you. And you gave me the biggest present in the world," he told her, pulling her into a kiss again.
Finn was smiling to himself as he captured picture after picture of his godchild beaming at her happy parents. This would make excellent material for the model shots of his new studio and for the plan he had for Laylee's new bedroom.
A few hours later, Rory walked into the office with the baby monitor, placing it on Logan's desk and tapping his shoulder to get his attention.
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked immediately, noting that she was still in her jeans from that morning, but had traded her t-shirt for a cute top that was a touch too big.
"Yeah, lunch with Steph, remember?" she gently reminded him. "And we have to be in Boston at ten thirty tomorrow morning. I told Dad I'll take Gigi to her mother-daughter tea at school."
"Is that what he called about?" At her look at confirmation, he smiled. "Well, it's a three hour drive, but mostly against traffic. Two mornings of early rising, whoopee." He laughed, taking a quick look at the display on the monitor where Laylee was sleeping soundly on her back. Rory had laughed at him when he first suggested a video monitor, back when they were first thinking about all the baby equipment they would need. But now he knew that it calmed her to be able to see Laylee from everywhere in the house, just as it did him. And he was happy to invest the extra money for the peace of mind of knowing that his little girl was only a glance away.
"Your college years are so far behind you if you can't deal with a little sleep schedule shake-up." She patted his cheek condescendingly. "Buck up. You can nap while Gigi and I are being polite ladies of perfect society. I'm sure Dad would love to watch little red there." She tapped the monitor, and he smiled at the nickname Finn had given Laylee. Rory noticed for the first time the number of nicknames her baby had accumulated despite everything: Steph's Thumbelina had started the first time she had come to visit the NICU, and now Finn had wanted in as well. His was becoming more and more fitting, as her hair was clearly turning redder by the day.
"Go. Have fun. There's milk in the freezer and I might even venture out with her for a run later." He pushed her away from him, smiling. "And do some damage to that black card I put in your wallet- it's there for a reason."
"Bribery is no foundation for a marriage!" she told him as she walked out the door, smiling to herself. She grabbed her sunglasses, purse and keys, and left the house lighthearted and smiling, walking out into beautiful sunshine.
When Steph walked into the mall, she immediately spotted Rory as her friend stood outside Starbucks, nursing her drink while absentmindedly flipping through the New York Times that was on the table.
"Rory!" she yelled out, hugging her friend. "Where's the baby?" She looked around, disappointment showing on her face that Laylee wasn't joining their spree.
"She has a name now, you know," Rory laughed, freeing herself from Steph's hug. "One we worked hard to pick. And I believe Logan is taking her running." She handed the blonde a cup, and motioned that they should start walking.
"Running?" Steph crinkled her nose in distaste before taking a sip of her coffee. "Thanks for this, though."
"You know Logan's inexplicable hobby. Started in California, but somehow it made the move with us," Rory told her, rolling her eyes at Steph's obvious disapproval.
"I'm sad not to see her," Steph pouted.
Rory sipped her drink again. "Mommy needed some breathing time, enclosed places aren't good for her, and I really wanted to shop." As Rory counted off the reasons, she smiled slightly at the feeling of missing her daughter that was brewing inside her. It wasn't a good feeling, but it was a motherly one, and new to her at that. She had missed her at night when she left her in the NICU, but was also relieved to be able to go home and rest. This was a different kind of missing, a knowledge that she would see her daughter soon along with a simple desire for soon to come sooner. "You can stop by the house anytime, you know. We are usually around," she admonished her friend lightly.
"I've been wanting to, but I wasn't sure if you are accepting visitors," Steph said quietly. "Colin and I still have your baby present."
"Well, come around for dinner one night. You can come early and play before she goes to bed, and then we can hang out for a bit," Rory told her, smiling.
"Let me talk to Colin, and we'll figure a night sometimes soon. I miss Thumbelina."
"You'll have to pry her away from Finn and he's pretty possessive," Rory informed her, pulling her into a store.
Later on the two found their way to a quiet café with outdoor seating, where they sat in the warm sun surrounded by bags and food.
"How is it living with Finn?" Steph asked, curious to hear if their friend had changed at all in the last couple of years. If not, she suspected that Rory and was in for a roommate experience even stranger than her time with Paris.
"It's fine. We don't see him that much and it hasn't been that long. He's really busy trying to establish his studio and when he's not dragging us out of bed at five am, we barely realize he's there." She reached for another roll from the basket.
"That's the crack of dawn!" Steph said, mouth opening in shock. "Especially for you."
"That was exactly his point. He wanted the best light for the family photo shoot this morning." Rory sighed, beginning to feel her early wakeup despite the nearly two hour nap with Laylee earlier that morning.
"Wow. I don't know if I would have agreed to that. But anyway, I have to tell you about my new insane boss…" Steph went on, but Rory was distracted. In her direct line of sight behind Steph, Honor was walking with some of her friends, at least two of whom Rory recognized from Honor's wedding party. They were chatting together, all carrying shopping bags. Rory's mouth fell open in shock, alerting Steph to her wavering attention. "Rory, are you listening?"
"What? Yeah, I just…" Rory trailed off, unable to take her eyes off her sister-in-law. Steph followed her gaze, smiling in recognition and then frowning as she took in the details of the familiar woman.
"Is that Honor?" she asked, almost as shocked as Rory at the obvious change in the older blonde.
"It sure is."
"Did you…" She trailed off, turning to look at Rory again.
"No." Rory's hurt tone did not leave any room for doubt.
Honor's old bridesmaid, Blondie, turned to her and said. "Honor, isn't that your sister-in-law staring at us? The one that just had a baby?"
"What? I only have one sister-in-law; Josh is an only child." Honor rolled her eyes but looked ahead, guilt painting her face as she spotted Rory and took in her shocked expression. "Oh God, it is her. I have to go talk to her." She quickly approached Steph and Rory. Honor schooled her expression, making sure there was a smile on her face as she stopped by their table. "Surprise!"
"Definitely a surprise," Rory said, trying to fight off the angry feelings bubbling inside of her.
"Rory…" Honor started, smile gone, replaced with an apologetic look.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Rory asked, convincing herself that there must be a logical explanation.
"You were in the middle of so much, I wasn't sure you'd want to know." Honor knew it was a lame excuse, but couldn't bring herself to tell the women who was the closest thing to a sister she ever had that she just didn't know what to say to her anymore.
"You didn't think I'd want to know?! And Logan? What about him? He's your brother!" Rory was struggling more and more to keep her emotions in check, her heart beating wildly and her eyes starting to cloud with tears.
"This isn't about Logan and you know it," Honor said quietly, looking anywhere but Rory's face. Steph was watching the scene in shock, torn between jumping to Rory's aid and just letting them hash it out themselves.
"So he knows? And he kept it from me?" Rory tone got quiet. The anger was lessened, replaced mostly with hurt that clearly radiating from her expression.
"No, no. He wouldn't have ever. I haven't told him either." Tears were silently rolling down Rory's cheeks now, and Honor's stomach was clenching with guilt. Rory felt as if she was about to burst. She leveled a look at Honor, eyes shooting an angry glare toward a woman she had once trusted.
"Were you ever going to tell us, or were we just going to find out from the birth announcement?" she shot out, biting her lips in order to keep from crying outright.
"Rory…" Honor pitifully started again, soft look pleading with her.
"I mean, you must be at least twenty weeks by the looks of it!" Rory took in her rounded appearance, remembering Honor had been large in her pregnancy with Matty as well.
"Twenty-four, actually," she quietly said, not capable of looking Rory in the eyes anymore.
"Wow. Okay." Rory's shock was evident. In a quick move, she reached for her purse and took out her wallet. "I'm going to go. Steph, rain check?" She gave a quick glance toward her friend as she threw some money on the table. She collected her bags and turned to Honor. "Have an easy third trimester, I guess," she told her quietly, and started to walk away.
"Rory, come on, please." Honor reached out to grab her arm, but Rory dodged her and moved away quickly.
"I'll go after her," Steph said, shooting Honor an apologetic glance as she threw some more money on the table (the waiter was now very generously tipped) before following her friend.
"Your sister-in-law is a bit of a drama queen," Blondie commented, making a smacking noise with her lips as the group rejoined Honor.
Honor turned to her, clearly upset. "Shut up." She gave her a look that clearly meant she wanted to hear nothing more on the subject from any one of them.
Steph had caught up with her by her car. Rory was standing by the open trunk and angrily trying to wipe away the tears. "Ror… Look at me." She laid a hand on her shoulder, and gently turned her around so that they were facing each other.
"Did she not think we'd be happy for them?" Rory asked, no longer even trying to stop the tears. "Did she think I wouldn't be happy to have another niece or nephew? I love Matty!" Her face showed pain, anger and hurt.
"I'm sure that wasn't-" Steph started.
"No! I just wish everyone would stop treating me like fragile china. I'm not going to just break at any moment," she stopped speaking as her sobbing took over.
"We know that," Steph gently told her, fishing a tissue out of her purse.
"Do you? Because I feel like people are treating me with silk gloves and hiding things from me because they think I can't handle it!" Anger and frustration were taking over now, and her blue eyes were blazing, red-rimmed.
"That's not it-" Steph tried to interject, only to be interrupted by the continuation of the rant.
"I had a preemie, we are dealing. She's doing well!"
"We know that Ror." She finally was able to make eye contact, holding a steady gaze as she tried to calmly convey what she wanted to tell her. "We're just trying to find the best way to help, honestly."
"Then tell them, tell everyone, to treat me, us, like always. Call us, come hang out, be in touch. We'll tell you if we can't. But I haven't heard from Colin or Rose, or you for a while, and no one likes to be abandoned by their friends," she ranted on, slightly calmer and with fewer tears.
"Ok. I'll pass along the message." Stephanie handed her a tissue from the packet with a small smile. "And we'll try lunch again next week, okay? I'm usually off most of Thursday; it's my easy day".
"Sure. You could come over then and see Laylee, if you'd like," Rory suggested, wiping her cheeks and sniffling slightly.
"Or we can meet at an open place so that she can come and no one has to cook?"
"You got it. She smiles now, you know." Rory felt the need to snuggle her little one, and smiled at the prospect.
"Wow! I can't wait to see that little peanut." Steph shone with excitement. "Now go home and show your husband that dress that makes you look like a goddess."
"Thanks, Steph. I mean it." She smiled slightly, hugging her friend before getting in to the car. She was beyond ready to snuggle her baby, but knew that once she got home she would need to break it to her husband that his sister has been hiding her pregnancy from them.
By the time Rory got home, she felt like someone had taken all of the wind out of her sails. She opened the mirror on the visor, and looked at herself. Her eyes were still a little red, her cheeks tear-stained, and her hair was coming out of her ponytail. She looked tired and drained, so different from the vibrant self of earlier in the day. Taking a deep breath, she conjured all of the positive memories of the day- her fun time shopping with Steph and taking pictures with her family- and got out of the car, collected her stuff and went into the house. She opened the door quietly, put down her purse, and made the way towards her bedroom. On the way, she passed Finn sleeping on the couch with his laptop on his lap, and Laylee in the bassinet piece of the stroller. She paused over Laylee, gently rubbing her finger over the baby's soft cheek, and then decided to change course. She hung the bags on the railing, and walked towards the office. Noticing that Logan was talking to someone on the phone, she gave him a small smile and planted herself on his lap, knees thrown over the arm of his chair, head burrowing into his chest as she inhaled that scent that was purely Logan.
Logan knew something was wrong the second he spotted her. Her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes were bright, that familiar shining blue surrounded by red rims. But it was the eager search for comfort that convinced him that something was just not right. He wrapped his spare arm around her, and interjected into the conference call. "It sounds great guys, but I have to run. I'll get the minutes later from Mandy." He hung up, making a note to ask his secretary. He then wrapped both his arms around his wife, shifting a little to make them both more comfortable.
"How was shopping with Steph?" he asked tentatively.
"Great. Until your sister showed up," she mumbled into his chest, not looking at him and not wanting to tell him what happened.
"You saw Honor?" He frowned, trying to figure out why seeing his sister would upset her, as they usually shared a close relationship.
"More like had a run in with Honor," she said, finally looking at him. She took a deep breath. "She's twenty-four weeks pregnant," she blurted, watching as his eyes widened with shock as hers had done only a short time before.
"Twenty-four weeks? She's almost done!" he exclaimed, and then winced, realizing that that was the last thing he would wish on his sister. He looked at Rory again. "Is that why you were crying? Because Honor is pregnant?" He didn't know what to feel about his sister not telling them about her pregnancy, but he could figure out his own feelings later. Right now, he was more worried about Rory.
"Not because she's pregnant. I knew she wanted more kids. Just because she didn't tell us." She lay her head back down on his chest. "She said she didn't think we'd want to know because of everything that went on with Laylee."
"I see." Anger was starting to bubble inside of him despite himself, and the feeling of betrayal seeped into his heart. "Do you-" he started and then stopped.
"Do I what?" she asked, picking up her head and looking at him again.
"Do you think we'd have reacted better had she told us when we were still in the hospital?" She could clearly see that he was hurt, and her heart went out to him. He clearly did not know what he should feel, and was looking towards her for guidance. "Have we really been that incommunicado since we got home?"
"I think that maybe it would've been harder for us, but we'd have been happy for her," she told him honestly, choosing to not admit that they had pretty much cut themselves off from the world around them to deal with their new reality.
"Are we not happy for her now?" he asked, searching her face.
"Of course we are. I am! Just- You know..." She looked into those chocolate eyes. "Just hurt that my own sister-in-law, my friend, didn't tell me about such an important thing in her life. And maybe I'm a little mad at myself for not being able to see – well, the signs, or anything beyond my own nose."
"Don't be. We were busy, and we had to take care of ourselves for our baby." He squeezed her in his arms. "I'm happy for her too," he quietly whispered into her hair.
That evening, she was sitting on their bed and writing while Logan gave Laylee a bath. She was concentrating heavily on her writing, pouring into it all her happiness and frustration from the last day. She knew that most of what she was writing now wouldn't survive her ruthless editing, but it felt good to get it all out, to finally verbalize what she is feeling.
When Logan came into the room with a child ready for her bedtime routine, she motioned for him to sit with her on the bed. When he did, she placed the laptop in front of him, the two columns she had edited the previous day open. She gestured that he should read it while she took the baby and diverted her attention to getting her ready for bed. When Laylee started nursing, she snuck a peek at him, touched by how intently he was reading it, and by all of the emotions portrayed on his face. When Laylee finished, Rory gently rocked her and laid her in the bassinet. Logan ghosted a hand near that baby's head, not quite touching it so he didn't disturb her, and they both left the room to allow her to fall asleep. Once they were out of their room, Logan pulled her towards him.
"What do you think?" she finally asked, after he released her from his embrace. She wanted his opinion as an editor, as a newspaper man, and not as her husband.
"I think it's good. Interesting, original. Could make a nice column or a series. Needs some polishing though," he told her honestly, pulling her down the stairs as he spoke.
"I thought it could be a series. Or I could freelance a column somewhere," she offered hesitantly.
"You definitely have the material there," he assured her as they walked through the door to the living room. "Maybe ask Hugo or Steve what they think?" he suggested, mentioning the editor she had freelanced for before Laylee.
"That's a good idea. Maybe I'll edit some more pieces and send them in as a group," she said, settling in next to him on the couch.
"Sounds good. Want to watch a movie or some CSI?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, settling in for the evening. He was happy to see her doing something productive, using a positive outlet and acting more like herself. If this was her way of dealing, of channeling her frustrations, anger, anxiety and happiness, he was happy to support her.
I know I shouldn't, but i'm begging you- review! it makes my creative juices flow, and I need it to finish!