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Chapter 9

It was shaping up to be a very good morning.

Someone, a woman he didn't recognize, had come to see the tall one. She'd been quite nice to him and had even hugged him, which had been somewhat nerve-wracking but the tall one seemed pleased so it must have been okay.

And the tall one was happy. Her arrival had clearly pleased him, to judge from the smiles and hugs and kisses.

He'd felt odd watching them.

They had been gone for quite a while now.

The nice lady with the orange-ish hair had been sitting with him ever since the tall one had left. She'd insisted on sitting with her arm around his shoulders, something that made him feel off-balance because he hadn't earned it but was also nice because it meant he knew exactly where she wanted him to be and he hadn't done anything worth her bother to punish.

She didn't even seem upset that she'd been able to trick him into eating before the tall one last night.

The rules are different here, you fool.

He wrenched himself away from the thought, nervous for a moment that they might know he'd had it.

Rules were rules were rules were rules.

As it was, it had taken quite a while to understand that he was now being asked to do for the woman who'd taken care of him before he journeyed here: be a simple, quiet companion.

It was a reasonably pleasant thing to be asked to do, and she was nice about it, and there were very few ways even he could be disobedient doing it.

Even if he was technically breaking the rule of rules three times a day.

Rules were not bent. They were either tightened or loosened, depending on his choices and how one had served him. In the case of Failures, tightened absolutely until he chose to let his lady have them at last. In the case of those who served him well, loosened bit by bit until one might be able to go quite a while without being under full-control for more than a reminder of his power now and then.

Using the volition you were granted was always a risk that way. Greater rewards became available, but greater risk of being a Failure accompanied them. Arguing for more than he had already granted you was always a folly.

And you, sir, are a fool who detests the touch of any yoke, save only one.

No, that was wrong! He liked it, it let him know where to be, what to do, that it was okay to sit here beside her while the nice lady read a book to herself softly and the tall one talked with his lady friend somewhere else, that he was exactly where he needed to be on the journey here... Restraints were good if you didn't know what you ought to be doing and he didn't didn't he because they were silent...

It took two hours to exhaust all the happy small talk possibilities and what Thor could understand of Jane's research over a long grazing meal Pepper had called 'brunch'.

"So, you think Loki can get better?" she asked him kindly, and it reminded him so much of the night he'd explained what he knew of the wider local universe to her.

"He has already been getting better. There were slim hopes to start with," he told her frankly. "I hope none of this changes anything..."

"Oh no, it doesn't," she told him quickly. "I just know you're worrying about him, and you missed your family when we met, so... No, it doesn't matter. I just thought you'd like someone to talk to who isn't involved. Even with Mr. Stark's help, I can only stay an hour or two more."

He nodded. "Yes, that is most helpful." He smiled at her. "We think we may have found someone who may be able to help us figure out his true current situation, but we don't know if he can really do anything. He's coming this afternoon. Tony says he's surprised he could come at such short notice."

"You don't know if you're just getting your hopes up over nothing." She put a hand on his arm. "Thor, time and again I've heard stories that with brain injuries - yes, I know it's not the same but hear me out - internal quality of life isn't always the same as what everyone around the patient thinks it is. Loki didn't seem unhappy when I came in."

"He has no language, he constantly looks to others for guidance about the simplest things, he cannot feed himself, he barely accepts water..."

"And he has a brother who is making sure he eats and drinks, that the people around him treat him kindly, and that he has reassurance when he frets. That's a pretty comfortable world to live in, if you don't remember being more capable of providing those things for yourself."

"The man he was would hate living like this."

"Thor, the man Loki was doesn't exist anymore. Even if he has every breakthrough he can, from what you've told me your father had to do to save his life, he can't be that man anymore. He's been through too much. All you can do is hope the changes are good ones and that he can stay happy."

"And that his enemies do not return."

She nodded. "That was terrifying. Well, we were so caught up in an experiment that at least I didn't watch it on television as it happened the way Ms. Potts did." She shivered and looked away. "I... I don't ever want to watch you in that kind of danger again."

He smiled at her, reached out, and lifted her chin gently until she looked back up at him. "I can do nothing to stop that. Even if I left the Avengers behind me here and never visited Earth again, I am the eldest and only-born heir of the Allfather, the only one of his sons capable of taking his place now. My responsibilities to my own people will always keep me in and out of danger. If that is a problem..."

"Of course it's a problem." She sighed. "But it's the same problem Ms. Potts has, and that your mother probably has, and that everyone who's cared about a warrior likely always has, okay?"

He nodded. "I understand. Among us, if someone dies in battle - please do not fret, I have a point to make - it is not lamented. The life he led is celebrated and recounted in a grand feast, and there is mourning that there will not be more of it, but no lamentations. Unless there is a relationship, and the newer the louder she and her lady friends may weep."

"Because the older the relationship, the more time they had to be together."

He nodded. "Just so. My parents have been together for so long, and their children grown, that she would be expected to do little active mourning. She would go into seclusion for certain for a time, but public weeping would be the same as for any other Asgardian." It was the strangest thing, contemplating the death of the Allfather, but he knew it must happen someday. "But for something younger - the flirting one of my friends has been doing with a certain lady of the court for so long he need soon announce his intentions to her father or wear out his welcome - that would be mourned loudly and her distress recognized, consoled."

She nodded. "You're saying you know what I'm talking about."

"Yes. Another thing your people and mine seem to have in common, under all the differences between us."

She seemed to think for a moment. "I have an hour left. Pull your chair over here and tell me about the brother you had."

It took nearly every bit of the hour, and in the end Thor felt much more satisfied with the situation, if more mournful.

And that felt okay with him now, because while it was nothing like a relationship with a woman - which Loki had never had to begin with, ever, and now Thor did have to wonder at the many ways his Jotun blood might have affected his romantic life, both in who he'd be attracted to and in terms of which Asgardian fathers might have knowingly warned their daughters away - they were still brothers who fought side by side (and with each other, but that was being brothers and being brothers was beyond describing with words) and who had that taken away just as they reached the full stride of responsible adulthood, for Loki would never be fit for battle again even with his tricks.

Even if he got his skill with tricks back, for there was no evidence Thor had that he had retained that aspect of himself.

"Oh, I need to get going," Jane finally told him after a glance at her watch.

"All right. I will have to go home when Father enters the Odinsleep, but that will be for a short time and I should have warning."

"And other than that, I know where to find you?" she said with a grin.

He matched it as he nodded.

She hugged him once they had stood. "I'll make sure to let you know the next time I'm nearby. And hopefully Loki will be doing better by then."

After Jane left, he relieved Pepper of her 'Loki-sitting duties' as she put it. And with his arm wrapped around his brother, making him eat, Thor could almost believe Jane's words that this was all right for Loki.

He had Loki cleaned up and guided to and back from the bathroom by the time Steve arrived to announce that Dr. Strange was on his way.