I'd like to thank, KEALY KAMES, Wow23, WelcomeToTheTeaParty, Cant Let This Go, rawbbles, bubzchoc, and CUTE CARGAN LOVE for all you're lovely reviews. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 13: Complicated
Kendall smiled as he watched Logan sit at the piano. He played him a song from their first album, This is Our Someday. He loved the way Logan was so into his music. It just seemed like he was a bit happier when he was playing.
Once Logan finished the song he turned to face the blonde. "So?"
"Much better live," Kendall said nodding his head. He had told Logan he hadn't really heard many of his and James' songs. There were a few Carlos had made him listen to, but he didn't remember many.
"I know, I wanted that song to be a ballad but Gustavo wouldn't have it," Logan said shaking his head.
"So, I never heard who your guitarist was," Kendall said.
"Oh, Kelly thinks you were the best," Logan said quickly, "she's got our whole cover story completed. You came to auditions and was like an instant attraction. We started dating after we made you our guitarist," Logan said.
"So o got the job and you didn't think to tell me?" Kendall asked.
"Sorry, but our tour won't start until after the album comes out and the baby is born," Logan said.
"I've still got to learn all your songs," Kendall said.
"You're a natural, you'll pick it up," Logan said waving his hand.
The two sat there in silence for a moment before, Kendall realized he never heard the story of Big Time Rush' last guitarist. He thought Carlos had said something about it, but he couldn't remember what.
"What happened to your last guitarist?" Kendall asked.
"We dated for a bit and he cheated on me with some bleached blonde slut," Logan said.
"Was he the guy, you were moping over when we first met?" Kendall asked as he moved closer to Logan.
"Yeah," Logan said honestly. He wasn't gonna lie to Kendall, he didn't feel the need to. Logan looked up at the blonde. Kendall had a weird look on his face, like he was thinking something over. "What?"
"I can't imagine why someone would cheat on you," Kendall said without thinking.
"I'm not perfect Kendall," Logan said shaking his head.
"Never said you were," Kendall said scooting closer to Logan. He bit his lip, unsure what he was doing. "I hate people who try to be perfect. I like flaws. It's what makes us all human,"
"Yeah," Logan said nodding his head. Kendall smiled as he looked into Logan's eyes. They sat there staring at one another. Kendall started to lean in when Logan's cell phone rang. He jumped up. "I should take this," Logan said quickly, before he walked out of the room to answer his phone.
Kendall slumped in his seat. He sighed and looked to the door where Logan had disappeared. He knew he had been pushing it, but he had thought maybe there was something there. The way that Logan ran from the room had proved there wasn't. Maybe his pregnancy was throwing everything off. Maybe he was just seeing things. He was fat and unattractive now that he was pregnant. There was no way Logan was into him.
-Better than I Know Myself-
"Okay if you had to choose green skin, or really bad sun burn," Carlos said looking at James. James laughed and shook his head. They were sitting together in his apartment. "Come on if you had to choose," he urged.
"Sunburn, I could deal with the pain, I don't think I could deal with being green," James said shaking his head.
"I think being green would be awesome," Carlos said.
"Only you would," James laughed.
"I hate sunburns," Carlos said making a face.
"Yeah, but I don't think I could deal with being green. I mean people are so concerned about looks. If I turned green I'd lose my fame," James reasoned.
"Ok I've got a question," Carlos said.
"What?" James asked.
"You're famous and making just as much money as Logan, yet you live in an apartment on your own while Logan lives in a big mansion," Carlos said.
"There's a question in there somewhere?" James teased.
"Why?" Carlos clarified.
"Logan had a rich grandmother who left him lots of money and his parents talked him into buying the mansion so they could stop by from time to time," James said.
"Ok," Carlos said, expecting more of an explanation.
"Logan's parents are different. They like big things and Logan wanted their approval," James said.
"What about you?" Carlos asked.
"I don't care what my parents think. I want to live in a place that's comfortable for me," James said. Carlos nodded his head in understanding. "Alright, so if you had to give up food or sec which would you give up?" James asked changing the topic back to their game.
"Oh god that's a tough one," Carlos said. "Well you need food to live.."
"So sex?" James asked. Carlos held a hand up as he thought it over.
"I don't know if I could give up corndogs," Carlos said slowly.
"So sex?" James asked again.
"Yeah," Carlos said bobbing his head. "If you were in an accident would you rather lose your voice or your hearing," Carlos said.
"I need both to be a singer," James stated.
"I know, but worse case scenario," Carlos said.
"Well without hearing I can't sing or talk really…either way I'll probably have to learn to sign," James said slowly as he thought things over. "I'd have to say losing my voice," he said finally.
"Really?" Carlos asked.
"Yeah, at least I'd be able to hear," James said.
"Wow, but you're voice is your meal ticket," Carlos said.
"Nah, I've got this hot actor boyfriend who'll take care of me," James said smiling. Carlos looked confused for a moment before it dawned on him who James was talking about.
"Maybe, if I'm not too busy working on my career," Carlos winked. James laughed and leaned in closer to Carlos.
"I'll make you make time for me," James said. He pressed his lips to Carlos'. Carlos gasped in surprise. James didn't waste any time pushing his tongue into Carlos' mouth. Carlos wrapped his arms around James' neck and pulled him closer.
"Ja-James," Carlos moaned. He fell backwards on the couch pulling James with him. "I want you," he said.
"I was hoping you'd say that," James said grinning. He jumped up from the couch and pulled Carlos with him and dragging him to his bedroom. Once he had the door open he threw the Latino onto the bed. James tore his shirt off over his head. He threw it to another side of the room. Carlos did the same. James climbed onto the bed over the Latino.
"Condoms and Lube?" Carlos asked holding a hand up to James. James reached over to the bedside table and pulled the items out. Carlos grinned and pulled James down on top of him for a kiss. James groaned into the kiss and pushed himself up. His hands came down to Carlos' jeans. He opened then and shoved his hand inside them and grabbed the Latino through his underwear.
"God, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this," James said looking up at Carlos' face. Carlos' eyes were closed with pleasure.
"Get on with it then," Carlos gasped out. James quickly ridded Carlos of the rest of his clothing. He took a moment to admire the Latino's body. James grabbed the lube and coated his fingers. He brought them down to the Latino's entrance. He pressed a finger in and Carlos gasped.
"You ok?" James asked.
"Yeah, don't stop," Carlos said. James pumped his finger in a few times before adding another. Carlos groaned and his eyes slipped shut in pleasure. James scissored the Latino open slowly to make sure he was prepared. "Mhmm, James," Carlos moaned.
"You want more?" James asked curling his fingers up. Carlos gasped and his hips jerked. James took that as a good sign and pulled his fingers out. Carlos whimpered and looked at James as he climbed off the bed.
James striped himself of the rest of his clothing. He looked at Carlos who had grabbed the condom. Carlos tore the package open with his teeth. He beckoned James closer and James walked over to the side of the bed. Carlos sat up and rolled the condom onto him. Carlos grabbed the lube and squirted it into his palm. He then rubbed it onto James who moaned at the feeling.
"God Carlos," James said, "lay back," he said after he used his shirt to wipe the excess lube off Carlos' hand. Carlos laid back on the bed and spread his legs open for James.
"Come and get it," Carlos said. James didn't need to be told twice. He crawled onto the bed and was over Carlos once more. He leaned over and captured Carlos' lips in a kiss. He then positioned himself at Carlos' entrance.
"God, Carlos," James moaned as he sunk himself into the Latino below him. Carlos moaned and rocked his hips. James pulled out and thrust back in quickly. He set a fast and hard pace. Carlos was crying out and screaming in Spanish. James moaned and started to pound into the Latino.
"Oh Papi, mas por favor," Carlos cried out. James complied and grabbed Carlos' leaking cock and started to stroke him. Carlos let out a moan that sounded a lot like James' name. James could tell Carlos was close. He was getting louder and he was squeezing tighter around the brunette.
"Come for me Carlos," James panted as he pressed his face into the Latino's neck. He wanted Carlos to be the first to let go. Carlos moaned with a cry of James' name as he painted their stomachs white with his seed. James groaned as Carlos clenched tightly around him. He came a few thrusts later filling the condom. James then collapsed on top of Carlos.
They both laid there for a bit catching their breath. James was the first to move. He pulled out and threw the condom away. He made his way to the bathroom and returned with a warm washcloth for Carlos.
"That was amazing," Carlos said.
"Yeah, it was," James said smiling at the Latino.
-Better than I Know Myself
Kendall followed Logan into the doctor's office. Today was his ultrasound. He was going to find out what his baby's sex was. Carlos wanted to be here, but he was working. He had to pay rent somehow. However, Kendall promised him that he would be the first person he told.
"You excited?" Logan asked.
"Yeah, we get to find out whether or not we're having a boy or a girl," Kendall said excitedly. Kendall checked himself in and took a seat next to Logan. All the awkwardness from yesterday was gone. He was antsy as they waited. Soon they were called back and Kendall was all but jumping up and down. Logan chuckled and followed him.
The practitioner led them to the ultrasound room. She introduced herself Dr. Forman's nurse, Cynthia. Dr. Forman was busy with some other patients and would be in shortly for the ultrasound. She took Kendall's vitals and everything since this pregnancy had been determined high risk due t the fact Kendall wasn't supposed to even be able to conceive. She left after having Kendall change into a hospital gown for the ultra sound.
"So what makes this a high risk pregnancy?" Logan asked.
"For one thing most male pregnancies are," Kendall said. Logan nodded his head. "And two I had an accident as a kid. I ruptured a few organs and they found out that I had had the possibility to carry but ruined it in the accident. I got tested when I was eighteen as well and told again that I would never conceive," Kendall explained.
"If you don't mind my asking what kind of accident?" Logan asked.
"Car accident. The same one that killed my father. I was told I was lucky to be alive. I wasn't until later that I learned my dad threw himself over me in the accident and that's the reason I'm still alive," Kendall said looking around the room. He didn't know what compelled him to tell this to Logan; he had never told anyone about his dad. It was a sore subject for him.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Logan said sensing Kendall's uneasiness. Kendall opened his mouth, but there was a knock at the door and it opened. Dr. Forman walked into the room, saying his hellos and then got right to business. He had Kendall lift the gown and covered his thighs with a towel before getting some gel and squirting it on his stomach.
"So, how have you been feeling Mr. Knight?" Dr. Forman asked.
"Good," Kendall said, "I can feel the baby move around a bit. I'm not doing any heavy lifting or anything like that," he said.
"Well that's good," Dr. Forman said. He turned to Logan. "Make sure it stays that way," he said. Logan nodded his head.
Dr. Forman got to work looking at the baby. He took pictures of the spine, the head, and the feet. Kendall and Logan were both in awe as they looked at the little life they had created. It was amazing really.
"So do you want to know what you're having?" Dr. Forman asked.
"Yeah," Kendall said nodding his head.
"I thought you wanted to wait?" Logan asked looking at Kendall.
"I changed my mind," Kendall said sticking his tongue out at Logan.
"It'll be easier to decorate the nursery if we know," Logan said thoughtfully. Dr. Forman smiled in understanding and started to move the transducer around a bit until he got what he was looking for.
"Looks like you're having a boy," Dr. Forman said.
"Told you," Kendall said looking at Logan.
"Alright, you were right," Logan said putting his hands up.
"Hold up," Dr. Forman said. He moved the transducer a bit and there was another leg on the screen.
"Please tell me my baby is not deformed," Kendall said worried. He looked at the screen confused.
"Looks like you're having twins," Dr. Forman said.
"Twins?" Kendall and Logan asked together.
"When was you're last ultrasound?" Dr. Forman asked.
"Uh, my first one when I was about six weeks," Kendall said thinking back. "Why?" he asked.
"Your ealier ultrasound must've not shown the two fetuses," Dr. Forman said thoughtfully. "Well, looks like you're having a boy and a girl."
"Twins run in my family actually," Kendall said slowly.
"You didn't think to mention this earlier?" Logan asked looking at Kendall.
"No, I mean I was just shocked that I was actually pregnant," Kendall said.
"Mr. Knight with this being high risk and all I want you back in two week instead of a month. I want to monitor the growth of the babies carefully," Dr. Forman said. Kendall nodded his head. Dr. Forman handed him a slip to give the receptionist to make his next appointment, which they did before leaving the office.
-Better than I Know Myself-
Dak groaned as he fell onto the couch in Dani's new apartment. Dani had finally found a place to live on her own and now had a job. She had left Amy was across town with their parents for the day. Dani would pick her up tomorrow after she had settled in.
"I don't see why I'm the only one here," Dak said as Dani walked into the apartment carrying a box.
"Cause you love me more than Derek," Dani said.
"Yeah you should call his lazy ass and have him come help his baby sister move in too," Dak said annoyed that Dani had asked their brother for help only for him to claim he was busy. Derek was the oldest of the Zevon siblings and lived across town as well. He hardly talked to Dak.
"He is busy with Nat and the kids. Plus, he's got work," Dani said.
"Oh please, it's because I'm helping. That's the whole reason he's not here. We all know he's the only one who's got a problem with me acting. He doesn't thinks it's a good career and that I am setting myself up to fail, but I'm not. I know I am good and I know if I work hard I can make it," Dak said.
"Dak stop it," Dani said shaking her head.
"No, I mean it. He's being a real dick about it too. I mean the only time I see Emmet and Robert are on holidays, and that is because mom invites them over without telling me they're coming and it usually ends in a fight between me and Derek. I mean face it Dani, I'm just a disappointment to him," Dak argued.
"You're not a disappointment."
Dak and Dani both looked to the doorway and saw Derek standing there. Dak's jaw dropped. He hadn't expected Derek to show up at all.
"I thought you could use some help Dani," Derek said.
"Uh, yeah," Dani said nodding her head. She walked over to Derek and gave him a hug. Dak just stood there.
"How much of that did you hear," Dak asked.
"I'm a real dick," Derek repeated.
"Well you are sometimes," Dak said.
"Look Dak, you're not a disappointment. I mean I wish you had gone to college, but I can't force you to. I just don't want you to get hurt. You're my baby brother after all," Derek said.
"I am not a baby though, I can take care of myself," Dak said rolling his eyes.
"I know that Dak, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're my baby brother and you always will be. I won't stop wanting you to not get hurt," Derek said.
"I'm a big boy now Derek. I'm an actor and that's all there is to it," Dak said glaring at his brother.
"Acting is so uncertain and not many people make it big Dak," Derek said.
"Why can't you trust me to know what I am doing. I am not gonna give up," Dak said.
"Guys let's not fight," Dani said.
"Fine, let's help Dani move in," Dak said before walking out of the apartment. Dani sighed and followed after him with Derek trailing behind her.
-Better than I Know Myself-
James was sitting at home alone. He was still smiling over the fact that he and Carlos had finally had sex. . It was great and he felt closer to the Latino than before. Carlos had left just a bit ago, saying he had plans with a friend, but James didn't mind. Carlos had promised to call him later to wish him good night.
Things were great for once in his life. He and Carlos had been dating for about three months now. It was one of his longest relationships as of late, he never dated anyone for longer than a month. The only other person that he kind of dated was Dak, but that hadn't been a real relationship. It had just been sex between friends.
The other great thing in his life right now was his and Logan's second album. It was coming along great. They only had a few more song to record and Logan was currently writing another song as well. Things were just falling into place for James. He didn't think it could get much better than this.
James' thoughts were interrupted by his cell phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen and se saw Carlos' name on the screen as he answered the phone.
"Couldn't get enough of me earlier?" James asked, but he got no response. He heard music and people talking. He realized that Carlos must've pocket dialed him. He figured that he wasat a café or something, cause the music wasn't too loud.
"Watch it, we're out in public. We don't need people talking."
"Oh relax Carlos."
That sounded like Stephanie. James was about to hang up when Carlos spoke again.
"I'm dating James, you know."
"So."
James' breath hitched his in throat. He knew what Stephanie was doing. He had been afraid of this happening. Here it was happening and he had no idea where Carlos was.
"What James doesn't know won't hurt."
"I don't' think we should be doing this."
James hung up anger coursing through his veins. His perfect evening was now ruined. This was how Carlos repaid his trust. He wondered if this was how Logan felt when he caught Dustin cheating on him with that girl. James shook his head as tears came to his eyes. It hurt, more so because he really trusted Carlos not to do something like this.
James looked at his phone before pocketing it. The night was still young. He stood up grabbed his keys and left his apartment. He didn't know where he was going, he just knew he wanted to hurt Carlos as much as he had hurt him or get really drunk. One of the two. He wasn't sure yet which would make him feel better.
-Better than I Know Myself-
Carlos made his way into his apartment building after having a crazy night. All he wanted to get upstairs and go to bed but he had to call James first and wish him good night like he promised. He took the elevator up to his apartment and was shocked to see James standing outside his door. What shocked him even more was James didn't look happy.
"Hey James," Carlos said slowly.
"Hey," James said curtly. Carlos frowned. That didn't sound good. They hadn't been fighting when he left him earlier.
"Is something wrong?" Carlos asked as he moved closer to the brunette. He was hit with the smell of alcohol.
"Why don't you tell me, who were you with?" James asked.
"A friend," Carlos said slowly. "Are you drunk?" he asked wrinkling his nose.
"Don't pull that shit with me, I know you were with Steph," James growled.
"Ok so I was with Stephanie, it's no big deal we've been hanging out," Carlos shrugged.
"You pocket dialed me," James hissed. "What James doesn't know won't hurt?" he asked.
"I what?" Carlos asked his eyes going wide.
"What happened between you and Stephanie?" James asked moving closer to Carlos. Carlos backed off a bit the smell of booze too strong.
"It's not what you think," Carlos said.
"What happened," James asked his voice rising. Carlos looked around.
"James calm down," Carlos said.
"I knew it," James said shaking his head, "you know I thought you were different, but you're not. You're just like every other gold digging tramp I've dated. Have fun with Steph she'll dump you once the movie's over," he said walking past Carlos.
Carlos stood there shocked. He hadn't expected that to happen. He had thought things were going great with him and James. James hadn't even given him a chance to talk. He just assumed things and stormed off.
-Better than I Know Myself-
Dak sighed as he sat back on his couch. He had a few cans of beer in front of him. He had spent the afternoon helping Dani move into her new apartment. It had been fine until his older brother Derek had arrived.
As soon as they finished Dak said good bye to Dani and left. He made his way back to his apartment. He needed something to take the edge off, and started drinking almost as soon as he got home. It was better to do it at home then out at a club where he could get drunk and possibly ruin his career. Especially since he had just finished shooting the movie that was going to really jumpstart his career.
Dak sighed and shook his head. He didn't know why Derek was so against this. Dak hadn't surprised anyone when he said he wanted to be an actor. Dak had always been acting. He had done school plays and small local play and had gotten his start movie acting with Stephanie. That was his first movie. He hadn't really done much since then. He was holding out for that one big role. Now he finally got it, and Derek couldn't see that. Maybe once he made it big, Derek would understand.
A knock at the door made Dak jump. He walked over to the door and opened it seeing James leaning against the frame smiling. He reeked of alcohol. Dak looked him up and down.
"What happened to you?" Dak asked shocked to see James like this.
"Happiness is for idiots who want to fool themselves into thinking everything is fine when it's not," James slurred as he pushed his way into Dak's apartment.
"Oh, do come in," Dak said sarcastically as he shut the door. "So, what happened?" he asked. He hadn't seen James like this in awhile.
"He cheated," James all but yelled. He turned on Dak. "He cheated with that slut," he added.
"With who?" Dak asked knowing James was talking about Carlos.
"Stephanie did it again. She saw something was mine and she took it away from me," James said angrily as he turned away from Dak.
"Oh," Dak said nodding his head. He knew Stephanie had a knack for messing around with actors, but she had a real knack for stealing people away from James.
"You know what screw them both. I don't need 'em," James said turning to face Dak once again. "It's a good thing I've got you though," James said moving closer to Dak.
"What?" Dak asked.
"Me and you, what we have won't lead to anyone getting hurt. That's what I want sex without feelings involved," James said. Before Dak could say anything James crashed their lips together. He pushed Dak towards his bedroom and Dak didn't know what to do. He just let James do what he wanted. Dak's mind just seemed to blank. It was like he didn't have control of his body anymore. He just allowed James to push him into his bedroom.
-Better than I Know Myself-
Kendall was sitting in Logan's living room. They hadn't told anyone they were having twins yet. Kendall hadn't even gone home. He didn't know what to do. Logan had been on the phone with Kelly all afternoon. Kendall hadn't even texted or called Carlos. He knew Carlos was probably with James anyways.
Kendall had seen a side of Logan he hadn't seen before. Logan had been yelling at Kelly. He wasn't yelling because of the twins, no, he was happy about that, kind of. Logan was mad about the ambush outside the doctor's office. There had been paparazzi freaks all waiting outside for him and Logan. They had sprang as soon as Kendall and Logan walked out. They took dozens of pictures and all asked if it was Logan or Kendall who was pregnant. Logan didn't say anything and told Kendall to keep his mouth shut. Logan had been furious that Kelly had set things up. Logan finally hung up his phone.
"You done?" Kendall asked.
"Yes, sorry," Logan said as he walked over to the couch. He fell down onto it next to the blonde.
"I'd like to point out that this had to happen sooner or later," Kendall said slowly. He was scared that Logan might blow up again.
"I know, but she could've told me," Logan sighed shaking his head.
"Well, we'll just have to tell them that we are expecting," Kendall said.
"I know, but they're gonna rip me to shreds and they're gonna ask lots of questions. When we met, how we met," Logan said.
"We've got that all figured out I though," Kendall said.
"I know, but they'll want to know our plans we can't say we're gonna break up. They're gonna expect us to live together and…" he trailed off. He jumped up and started pacing back and forth as he rambled.
"What?" Kendall asked.
"They might ask us if we're getting married. Oh god I never realized how bad things would get. If I ruin my image I ruin James' as well," Logan said he started to breathe a bit faster.
"Ok, Logan calm down," Kendall said standing up and putting a hand on Logan's back. He stopped Logan's pacing. "We'll just have to move into together, you know give the public what they want," he said.
"What?" Logan asked his head snapping up to look at Kendall shocked.
"I'll move in for a few months until the baby is born and we'll tell people we're gonna wait on the married thing. We'll break up mutually and raise the kids together," Kendall said.
"Kids," Logan said as he fell into his chair. Kendall sat down on the couch as close to Logan as he could.
"I know, we'll work this out," Kendall said.
"I've never met someone like you," Logan said shaking his head.
"Someone like me?" Kendall asked confused.
"Someone who's willing to give up what he wants for others," Logan said.
"I've never-" Kendall started. Logan held up a hand silencing him.
"Why'd you move out here to L.A.?" Logan asked.
"Carlos was gonna move out here and I couldn't' let him go alone. I mean sure he's old enough, but he needs someone to look after him," Kendall said.
"Why did you agree to help me?" Logan asked.
"Cause, your career depends on this," Kendall said.
"See, you're to nice for your own good," Logan said.
"Ok look here's what's gonna happen. After my doctor's appointment today we came here to call our families together and you asked me to move in," Kendall said ignoring Logan's last comment.
"Ok, but what about the marriage question?" Logan asked.
"Like I said, we'll tell them we want to wait a bit longer before we get married. Besides Bradgelina didn't get married when they had their first kid," Kendall said. Logan laughed and nodded his head.
Tada another update. I hope you all like this. Most of this chapter was betad by Cant Let This Go, but there was a section that I added, and I'm gonna be leaving soon and I wanted to post this. So review and let me know waht you liked or what you dind't like.
Always
OUTOFMYMIND