I'd like to thank, Swayzee Sweetheart, Chey21, 4ever with Kames, bubzchoc, Kendalls Logiebear, iWasDumbSorry, GabeRusher, BTRLoganLover77, CUTE CARGAN LOVE, KEALY KAMES, and David for all you're lovely reviews. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 18: Hot 'N Cold
Kendall groaned as he sank into the couch. He had just gone for a walk with Carlos. Walking during pregnancy was good, it helped strengthen muscles and what not, but Kendall hated it. It made him tired and sweaty. Walking also made him ache and not want to move for a month.
Kendall was now six and a half months pregnant. Over the last month and a half not much had changed. Kendall was living with Logan and that was it. After they had slept together it triggered something in the two. They had sex when Kendall couldn't contain himself, but that was it. It was about release. Kendall had hoped that Logan would start to care about him, but that didn't seem to be happening any time soon.
People were making a big deal about the pregnancy still. Everywhere he went people followed him and took pictures of him or asked him about Logan. Kendall didn't talk to them or even acknowledge them. Logan was proud that Kendall wasn't letting it get to him, but the truth was, it was getting to him. It was getting to the blonde, he just didn't let it show. He couldn't wait for the babies to be born and out of him. He knew once they were born the media circus that was his life would only get worse. Logan was famous. The babies would be famous because of that, so people would be all over them. He just hoped he could protect them as best he could.
"You ok?" Carlos asked Kendall.
"Just dandy, I'm six and a half months pregnant and I just went for a two mile walk. I am perfectly fine," Kendall snapped. Sebastian walked in with two bottles of water and gave each of them a bottle. They both thanked the old butler and he left.
"So how are things with James?" Kendall asked.
"I don't know, he's been distant ever since…" Carlos trailed off.
"He complains that you're being distant," Kendall said as he took a drink of his water. "I hear him and Logan talking all the time," he explained when Carlos looked at him confused.
"Speaking of Logan," Carlos said.
"I don't know, I mean he's been a bit nicer and he always helping me even when I don't need it. I don't think anything has changed though," Kendall sighed.
Ever since he and Logan had had sex things hadn't changed much. Logan hadn't said anything to Kendall about it afterwards and Kendall didn't say anything either. They had both just moved on and made a silent agreement that Logan would help Kendall with his needs. Kendall did tell Carlos, he had to tell him though, it was like the in the best friend code or something.
"Have you talked to him," Carlos asked.
"He doesn't like me Carlos, I am a whale and I'm kind of mean to him," Kendall said softly. He had to admit he was a bit mean to the brunette. It wasn't his fault though, Logan danced around him and treated him like he was fragile. It just pissed him off sometimes.
"You're kind of mean to everyone lately, but that's because you're pregnant and the weight you're gaining is all baby," Carlos said.
"It's babies as in two," Kendall corrected his friend.
"I know, little Logan and little Kendahlia," Carlos teased.
"Not even funny dude," Kendall said his face expressionless.
"Well have you come up with any names," Carlos asked looking at the blonde expectantly.
"For a girl I really like the name Elizabeth," Kendall said.
"Ah, little Lizzie," Carlos said with a smile. Kendall nodded his head with a smile as he placed his hand on his stomach. "So what about your little boy," he asked.
"I don't know yet, I mean I like the name Dakota or maybe even Spencer," Kendall said.
"So what about Logan he have any ideas on the names yet?" Carlos asked.
"He likes the name Kyra for a girl and Landon for a boy," Kendall said. He and Logan had been talking about names a lot lately. Kendall was excited for the arrival of the babies and trying to get the names set so they'd have them and be able to get used to them before hand. Logan on the other hand changed his mind more often then a girl changed clothes.
-Better than I Know Myself-
Logan sighed as he made his way to the recording studio. They were recording a song today for the album, but Logan wasn't feeling it. Ever since he and Kendall had had sex a month and a half ago Logan didn't know what to think. He was confused about his feelings. Kendall wasn't very forward either. They still talked like normal, but things were different lately. Kendall seemed to be pushing away from him now, rather than wanting to get closer to him. Kendall was getting more distant as time passed. Logan wasn't sure what to do about it either.
Logan walked into the studio and saw James and Gustavo talking. Logan wasn't really in the mood to talk to his producer right now, but he didn't have a choice.
"Dog, how's the song coming along?" Gustavo asked.
"Slow, I can't figure it out," Logan admitted, "I try to write and the words just don't come out right," he said shaking his head.
"Well our deadline is coming up, work with James and get it done," Gustavo ordered.
"Ok let's just work on your song for now," Logan sighed. He really wasn't in the mood to discuss his nonexistent song right now. He had tried several times and nothing was working. He didn't know why he was having such a hard time writing this song. Gustavo had given him and James some freedom on this album, but it was harder than he thought.
James walked over to Logan and looked at him. "You ok man?" he asked.
"Fine, just tired," Logan lied. He didn't want to talk right now. If he started about Kendall James would start in on his relationship with Carlos, which was strained. Logan honestly didn't know why they were still together. Carlos didn't really trust James, and James wouldn't tell anyone who he slept with.
"Come on let's just get this over with," James said. Logan nodded his head. They walked into the booth together.
-Better than I know Myself-
Dak groaned as he fell back against the wall in his bathroom. His stomach was churning and he did not feel good at all. He had been in the middle of a phone call with Dani when it hit him. He had ran to the bathroom and dropped the phone. He could hear Dani yelling to him. Dak grabbed the phone.
"Dak, what the hell are you ok?" Dani yelled.
"Dani stop," Dak said into the phone.
"What's going on, are you ok?" Dani asked.
"I'm not feeling too good. It must've been the food I had last night," Dak said shaking his head, which turned out to be a bad idea. He started puking again and dropped the phone once more. Once he was done he picked up the phone once more.
"Ok that's it, I'm coming over," Dani said.
"No, don't I can take care of myself," Dak said.
"Oh right like you did at Robert's party," Dani snorted.
"Look, I was there for the boys not for Derek," Dak said shaking his head. "I've missed so much of their lives and I hate that Derek won't talk to me, but it's his choice. He sucker punched me and I let him. I mean if that's what it takes for him to get his anger out then so be it," Dak said as he leaned back against the wall once more. He didn't want to leave the bathroom only to run right back.
"Dak you and Derek need to sit down and just talk things out," Dani sighed.
"I've tried, he's an idiot and he won't listen to me," Dak snapped.
"Oh please you're a whiny brat and Derek's a hard headed moron. You clash yes, but you need to talk this out. I hate that I can't hang out with both my brothers," Dani said. Dak head the hurt there, but him and Derek were too different to get along.
"I am not having this argument," Dak said annoyed now.
"We're not arguing, you are going to listen to your big sister and do as I say. You are going to go talk to Derek and work this out. You two used to be so close," Dani sighed.
"Yeah used to be," Dak said shaking his head even though Dani couldn't see him.
"Dak don't, come on I know you want to work things out with Derek," Dani said. Dak could just hear the annoyance in her voice.
"I do, but he doesn't," Dak said as his stomach started churning once more. "Dani I have to go, I think I've got food poisoning. I'll be fine I'll talk to you later," Dak said.
"Dak don't you hang up on me," Dani threatened.
"Bye Dani," Dak said and he hung up.
Dak dropped the phone to the floor as he leaned over the toilet and emptied his stomach once more. He was sure there wasn't much left in his stomach this was his third time puking already. He wasn't sure where the sudden sickness had come from. The only thing he could think of was the food he had eaten last night. Something must've been bad. Seafood obviously didn't agree with his stomach.
-Better than I Know Myself-
James bit his lip as he paced back and forth in his apartment. He was thinking about Carlos. He had lied to him about sleeping with Dak, and it was eating away at his conscious. He wanted to tell Carlos the truth, but that would ruin what little of their relationship that was left. He really liked Carlos, he was different from all the Hollywood jerks he had dated, but the guilt was killing him.
Then there was Dak, James didn't know what to think of him. Dak was funny and made James laugh. He was perfect boyfriend material, but he was a Hollywood crash and burn story waiting to happen. Dak was on the ascend of his Hollywood fame climb. He'd no doubt crash and burn like most Hollywood stars do. James had a risk of it as well.
James jumped as someone knocked at his door. He ran to the door and looked through the peep hole. He saw Carlos standing on the other side. He bit his lip debating on walking away. He sighed and opened the door as he plastered a smile on his face.
"Hey Carlos," James said.
"Hi," Carlos said, "I've trying to call you, you were supposed to meet me at the coffee shop twenty minutes ago," he said.
"Oh yeah," James said. He had totally forgot about that.
"Is something wrong?" Carlos asked frowning.
"What no, just let me get my-" James started.
"You've been acting really odd lately," Carlos said stepping into James apartment and shutting the door.
"I'm sorry my mind is just somewhere else," James admitted. He looked away from Carlos.
"Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? I thought we were going good," Carlos said.
"I thought so too, but this…it's…" James said not sure what to say. "this isn't working," he said finally.
"What do you mean?" Carlos asked.
"You know what I mean," James said.
"Are we breaking up?" Carlos asked slowly.
"I think so," James said nodding his head slowly. He didn't want to tell Carlos about him and Dak. He couldn't, so this was the only thing he could to get rid of the guilt he felt.
"Well, ok," Carlos said calmly. He just nodded his head and left.
James stood there in shock. Part of him wanted to run after the Latino and beg him to take him back. Another part wanted him to stay put and rationalized that he did the right thing. His and Carlos' relationship wasn't perfect and it was bad. He had cheated on Carlos and Stephanie was trying to get Carlos to cheat. At least this way James could beat her to the punch.
Stephanie could have Carlos now, she would be better for the Latino for now. Stephanie wasn't a cheater, she used guys and made them cheat, but she never cheated on them. That was what Carlos needed. He needed someone who could give him their full attention. James couldn't give that to Carlos, if he was always thinking about Dak, and what they could've had. James was so confused right now, he didn't know who he wanted.
I did the right thing. We weren't working and it was for the best.
James thought. He had to repeat that in his head to make him stay in his apartment and let Carlos go.
-Better than I Know Myself-
Kendall made his way down the hallway. Logan was in his music room working on his song, but by the mashing of the piano keys Kendall could tell he was having some trouble. He stopped in the doorway. Logan was sitting with his back to him. He started playing the piano and singing what he had written. It didn't sound right and Logan bashed the keys once more.
"I just can't write this stupid song, saying how you feel doesn't work," He grunted. Kendall chuckled and Logan turned to him glaring at him. His glare softened when he saw it was Kendall.
"I thought you were James," Logan admitted.
"Nope, just me," Kendall said walking into the room. He sat down on the piano on the bench next to Logan. "You're forcing it," Kendall said.
"I know, but I've got a deadline and Gustavo is rushing me even more," Logan said shaking his head.
"Well, let me see what you've got," Kendall said holding his hand out. Logan handed over the paper he had in front of him.
"Music sounds better with you?" Kendall asked.
"Gustavo wants a love song," Logan said.
"I used to think that love was something fools made up, cause all I know is heart break," Kendall read. He looked over at Logan who was looking away from him. "I couldn't help myself, left this side go through hell, there's only so much a heart can take."
"It's not done yet," Logan said snatching the paper back.
"That sounds a bit bitter if you ask me," Kendall said.
"Well it's true, all I had with my ex was raw and physical, I've never really…" Logan trailed off. He looked down at the piano. "Honestly, I'm only happy when you're around," he said quietly.
"What?" Kendall asked softly.
"I don't know," Logan said looking up at the blonde. "Before all this happened, I was upset and I hated my life. I wanted nothing more than to just build my fame and make a name for myself. Then you came into the picture," he said.
"Yeah," Kendall said showing Logan he was listening.
"Never mind," Logan said chickening out. He shook his head as he stood up.
"Damn it Logan, don't' shut me out again, I am getting a lot of mixed signals here," Kendall said grabbing Logan's arm and stopping him. "Either you like me or you don't, just tell me so I know," he said.
"I…do," Logan admitted, "I really think I'm starting to care about you Kendall, and I'm not just saying that because…" he said his eyes traveling down to the blonde's swollen belly.
"Maybe, we don't have to end this once the twins are born, maybe we could date awhile or something," Kendall suggested as he stood up. He looked into Logan's eyes searching for any trace of doubt.
"Yeah, I mean if it works, maybe something more could come of it," Logan said slowly. His eyes traveled down tot eh blonde's lips and then to his eyes. Kendall nodded his head. Logan swooped in and sealed their lips in a kiss.
Kendall squealed on the inside. He had been waiting for this for so long. They had avoided it for so long. They had been shy and scared, well Kendall wasn't scared anymore. He was finally getting what he wanted.
I am sorry this took so long, but I've pushed this on the back burner for sometime. I want to get back to this and a few of my Kogan fics. So hopefully there wil be more updates for my other Kogan fics, I am not saying which right now, but there are a fwe I am looking at and hope to update soon so keep an eye open.
Always
OUTOFMYMIND