Book IX: Onigawara

Like all ANBU outside of the old Root faction, Onigawara was given his code-name due to a specific trait he had, making his name less about anonymity and more about individuality. That Konoha designated their ANBU operatives with code-names that reflected something personal, even if it was the simple physical quirk of looking like a gargoyle whenever he was crouched on a rooftop, was a source of great pride and oftentimes comfort. It was a thread connecting them to their own humanity when they had to bury their hearts beneath layers of blood and gore while they performed their duties as the obedient emotionless tools of the Hokage.

Knowing what they were taking from their elite subordinates, the Hokages would give them that one small gift of a name that typically had little to do with the shape of the mask handed to them. It was a reminder that even tools had souls, and was further enforced by the fact that each ANBU had to paint the markings on their own masks. Officially, it was a task given to the individual so that each mask was indeed unique in its appearance for the sake of recognition, and if that individual carried themselves with a greater amount of pride, dedication, and loyalty because of it...well, that was just a pleasant side-effect.

An ANBU's mask was a precious object, something each operative knew they would very probably die wearing. If someone was lucky enough to survive to a voluntary retirement, the mask was generally kept as an important keepsake that was carefully guarded and perhaps hidden away somewhere safe. In rare cases it was given back to the Hokage or destroyed, and those cases were always followed by the disappearance of the ex-ANBU for an undetermined amount of time while they were being evaluated for their mental stability. One did not simply discard their mask without a devastating reason.

Onigawara had been in ANBU for four solid years, which was quite a feat considering he hadn't been assigned any civilian tasks within that span. Then again, it wasn't all that surprising because his specific abilities meant his duties were primarily centered around support, scouting, and intelligence gathering. His hands certainly weren't devoid of having taken another's life, but he wasn't classed as an assassin or even put in the second tier of infiltration and combat back-up that people like Tenzou were in.

His purpose was to relay detailed information to the assassins so they could perform as efficiently as possible, and then make sure the escape routes the second tier created for them weren't compromised. With his skill in medical jutsu - basic as it was compared to a real medic - and kekkei genkai, he did more patching up and guarding than he did fighting. He snorted ruefully as he leapt over the sun-warmed rooftops of Konoha toward his destination, his fingers briefly tightening around the mission scroll in his hand. He was also, apparently, a delivery man...

He resisted the urge to rub his temples, berating himself for even thinking the grumbling thought. Every one of the ANBU members was sent out at some point in time to deliver confidential messages or summons from the Hokage tower. It just so happened that he was on duty and available at the precise moment the Hokage called for someone. Much to his chagrin, it also just so happened that the person he was supposed to contact was none other than the man he was rather uncomfortably connected to through a pair of awkward events: Kakashi.

Onigawara knew Tsunade hadn't summoned him, specifically, for this errand, but he still couldn't help the itching feeling that the coincidence was deliberate. He was a firm believer in fate and destiny; that everything happened for a reason. He just wished he knew which god he'd pissed off that had him getting roped into contacting the extremely dangerous man whom the ANBU was keeping secrets for. Not that the secrets were all that damning, but it still left him with a curdled stomach when he had to leave out details in his reports.

Sure, he knew he would talk if asked directly, but he kept repeating to himself that discretion was the better part of valor as he continued to thank whichever god was keeping the Hokage from asking those direct questions. Nearing the neighborhood where the Jounin lived, he stretched out his senses to see if the man was even in his apartment. Another dreadfully familiar chakra signature assaulted his swiftly frazzling nerves, and he cringed inwardly. Seriously?! Naruto just HAD to be there, too?!

With a sigh, Onigawara activated his byakugan and slowed his pace a bit. All he had to do was leak his chakra just enough for Kakashi to sense it. That way the Jounin could come out to meet him, and he could trip over a roof tile as his brain came to an abrupt screeching halt, tumble gracelessly to the ground as his life flashed before his eyes, land flat on his ass in the dirt as panic slammed into his chest, and then bolt in the opposite direction at break-neck speed as he fled the image of something HE NEVER EVER SHOULD HAVE SEEN! WHAT THE FUCK, GOD?! WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM?!

His mind whirled into frantic motion as his feet carried him as fast as he could go without using too much chakra to alert anyone - especially Kakashi - of his state of panic and retreat. There was just no way he had seen that! It was impossible! It was...it was...a strange upright CPR lesson! It had to be! THERE WAS NO WAY HE HAD SEEN KAKASHI KISS NARUTO! Skidding to a halt on the Hokage Monument, he sucked in air and pinned himself back against the cool stone in the shadow of...fuck...the Yondaime's hair.

Onigawara would never admit, not even under duress of Ibiki's torture, that he had shrieked like a woman before darting behind the relative safety of the Shodai's ear where he huddled like a frightened child. The problem wasn't that he was convinced he was going to die at the hands of an ex-ANBU assassin. No, no that wasn't the problem at all. The problem was that he wasn't going to die, because Kakashi was going to leave him wishing he was dead!

Pressing the end of the scroll tightly clutched in his slightly trembling hands against his ceramic mask, he sat there and silently counted out the minutes as he kept his chakra as dim as he was able. When five minutes came and went, he allowed himself to relax subtly. Hope dared to peek into his head as time continued to fail to bring about his demise. Kakashi would not have let that little incident of accidental voyeurism go without immediate repercussions. Which only led him to one conclusion: Kakashi didn't know Onigawara had seen them!

His silent internal victory dance was short-lived, unfortunately, because he was still holding the scroll that had the Jounin's next mission assignment details. A scroll which was supposed to have already been delivered to Kakashi so he could prepare to leave for the mission early the next morning. Onigawara was in some deep shit, here! He was still on duty and failing miserably at it! As much as he would like to, he couldn't hide behind the Shodai's ear forever, but there was no way he was going anywhere near that man's apartment until he was absolutely sure Naruto was nowhere in the vicinity.

Complete brain-breaking knowledge that he had witnessed Konoha's resident God of Impersonal Reclusiveness actually kissing another person willingly, and that the person just so happened to be Konoha's resident Loudmouthed God of Unpredictability and Hero as well as the one his own damn clan was itching to get married into the family aside, he was not at all looking forward to the day he had ahead of him. Hiding the scroll in his supply pouch would be easy. Hiding the guilt while he would use every available moment he had to himself to activate his byakugan so he could check the village streets and Naruto's apartment for the young man's presence? Not so easy...

"I need to fucking retire," Onigawara groaned, burying his masked face in his hands.