It had been almost two weeks since they had returned to the prison and Amanda scarcely left her cell...only to eat and use the bathroom. She spoke little to anyone except Merle or Rowan. All other attempts to talk to her were met with a short response or a regretful, palpable silence. The bruises on her face and arms faded to a sickly yellow green and the cut on her lip was almost healed. There was a heartrending sadness about her that wasn't present before. Rick was worried but felt completely powerless to help her, seeing as she still wasn't speaking to him more than she had to. It had reached the point that he was going to talk to her father and try to make him see that Amanda needed to get out of that dark cell. When he finally set his mind to confronting Merle, he, by chance or luck, found the man's girlfriend instead, alone in the kitchen. He might have a better chance talking to her than Dixon. At least she didn't look at him like she wanted him dead.

Rowan had taken to sleeping on the top bunk or on a mattress on the floor in Amanda's cell, right by her bed. Rick knew Mandy was having nightmares. They all knew it for there wasn't much privacy to be had in the prison. For whatever reason, Rowan was able to calm her down and help her get back to sleep. If it was particularly bad night, Merle would sit outside of his daughter's cell until dawn, instead of his usual place on the perch with his brother.

Rick watched Rowan wipe down the counters while humming to herself. He was surprised at how easily the little group welcomed her and Martinez. Both former Woodbury residents were "unobtrusive" and did their fair share of chores. Martinez actually did more than his share. The energetic man was never idle and he never complained or slacked off. Carol really seemed to enjoy his company. The rare sound of her laughter was becoming almost commonplace since his arrival. It was nice to see her so happy and relaxed but Rick still couldn't trust the man or Rowan. It wasn't in him. To keep his "family" safe, he couldn't afford to let his guard down even when the others around him did.

Rick cleared his throat. The young woman turned around and greeted him with an uncertain smile. He nodded and said, "You gotta minute, Rowan? I wanna talk to you about Amanda."

Rowan and Amanda lay on a blanket in the prison yard soaking up the sun. Rick had convinced the dark-haired girl that fresh air and sunshine would help Amanda heal faster, both mentally and physically. Those small dimly lit cells with dank concrete walls were depressing enough on their own. She wasn't sure what to think when the ex-cop approached her but he appeared genuinely concerned with Amanda's welfare. She knew Merle would shit a brick if he found out about the conversation so she didn't mention it to him. Rick was right, of course. They couldn't let her waste away in the cell. He really did seem to care for her and no matter what Merle said. Rowan was starting to think the man wasn't a total monster after all.

Both women wore shorts, tank tops, and expensive sunglasses, courtesy of Glenn and Maggie. Beth had stopped by earlier and they kicked off their shoes and gladly let the teenager paint their toenails with baby pink polish that she had produced from her magic backpack that held all things girly. Carol also received a mini-pedicure from the young blonde. They didn't bother with their fingernails knowing that the polish wouldn't last more than a minute once they went back to doing chores. Beth even tried to paint Judith's tiny nails but the baby girl kept curling her fat little toes, making it impossible. Judith giggled along with the rest of them. They sounded like a bunch of schoolgirls. Questioning looks from Merle and Daryl only fueled the raucous laughter. Frankly, the women frightened Carl. He thought there must be alcohol involved. What else would make them cackle like idiots?

It was nice to see Amanda out of the cell block. She looked so thin and pale now, worse than when she first showed up at the prison. Rick smiled as she played with his baby. If he couldn't take care of her directly, this was the next best thing. She laughed and tickled Judith but when she caught him watching her, the smile slowly faded from her face and she looked away. He went to walk the fence alone. He didn't want to ruin her day with his presence.

Amanda had filled Rowan in briefly on the situation between herself and Rick and Daryl. It was nice to have someone, another woman her age, to talk to. She would just have to ignore the fact that said woman, who was a year younger than she was, was sleeping with her daddy. She shuddered at the thought, but she couldn't deny that her daddy was happier than she'd ever seen him and so far, he had managed not to kill Rick or make matters worse than they already were. The two men had stayed out of each other's way and though it was tense at times, it was still nice to have everyone she loved together...everyone. She didn't want to admit that she loved Rick even now. She missed him but she couldn't bring herself to go to him yet. She wanted to hate him but those damned feelings of affection wouldn't go away. Make no mistake, she was still pissed at him, and hurt, and really, really pissed but when she caught herself watching him with Carl or Judith she couldn't help soften just a tiny bit...and then she'd see her daddy's stump and the feelings rushed back in, overwhelming her with confusion and pain. Men sucked.

Rowan didn't have much to say about Daryl, brushing him off as a major asshole with no hope for recovery. Amanda laughed and told her that was just classic Dixon attitude. It was genetic, at least in the male side of the family.

"Whatever," the woman replied, not even trying to hide her dislike for Amanda's uncle. "You know," Rowan said, turning on her side to face the other woman. "I understand stand why you're mad at your boyfriend..."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"You have every right to be." Hell, I'm mad at him, too. Imagine what Merle would be like with two hands. A deliciously warm feeling spread through her body down to her pink toenails that had nothing to do with the heat of the Georgia sun. "He did what he felt he had to do to protect you. Plain and simple."

Amanda didn't want to hear what Rowan was telling her. "How's that protecting me? Not telling me. He was just protecting himself." From me.

Rowan shook her head. "He didn't want you to worry about Merle."

She disagreed with that assumption. "I was already worried about Daddy."

"Don't you think you would have worried more if you knew he'd been left behind chained on a rooftop?"

Maybe...of course. She would have been convinced he was dead. "Still, Rowan, he should have told me and how could he have left him chained to a roof in the first place?"

I can't answer that second part. You'll have to ask him or even Glenn. Merle said he was there, too." Rowan went on, "I agree, he should have told you, but that doesn't change things, Amanda."

"So I'm supposed to just forgive him?"

"I didn't say that either. Maybe you should listen to his side of the story." Rowan remembered what Merle was like when he first arrived at Woodbury. She heard about his withdrawal symptoms, his violent behaviors...coupled with his traumatic injuries, it was a miracle he survived...a miracle the Governor actually saw something more in him in that harrowing condition.

Amanda snorted a very unladylike but Dixonesque snort.

"What I'm trying to say is, deep down, all men are like cavemen. This whole end of the world bullshit just brings it out in force. The strongest and smartest survive. Classic survival of the fittest. Men, most of them, are bigger and stronger than we are. They feel the need to protect us, the 'weak', and make decisions that they think are in our best interest, right or not. Sometimes, they forget we can think for ourselves. I'm all for them physically protecting me but some decisions are mine and mine alone to make. Men can't separate that in their un-evolved male brains." Even your dumbass idiot redneck uncle was just trying to protect you.

"Is that why you're with Daddy? So he can protect you?" Amanda asked.

Rowan thought about the question and laid back down. "Partially. I suppose it was that, at first. I mean, my best chance of staying alive was sticking with Merle Dixon. That, and he always fascinated me. He is a strong, clever man, Amanda. Most people miss that because he's such an asshole. Don't sell him short."

Amanda pondered what her newfound friend had said. Survival of the fittest. Basically all the advances women had made over the past hundred years went out the window overnight with the arrival of the apocalypse. She couldn't swallow all of Rowan's reasoning but it did make sense in a Neanderthal-like sort of way. Still, men sucked.

The men took turns digging a ditch just inside the fence to divert the path of a nearby stream so they wouldn't have to leave the relative security of the prison for water. It was long hard work but all of them chipped in knowing that not having to leave the protection of the fences for that necessity would increase their safety tenfold.

Merle Dixon took a few minutes off from overseeing the back-breaking labor to join Rowan and his daughter. It wasn't that he minded hard work. He actually enjoyed it, helped to clear his mind. His ideas on the project were practical and well thought out. He wanted to make sure the crew didn't fuck it up. He hopped in the hole a few times, wanting to help, wanting to speed the progress up, but digging with one hand was damn near impossible. The pressure on his stump was too painful as he tried to guide the shovel. Fuck that bastard Grimes! Merle would try to rig something up for his missing hand, other than his knife, so he wouldn't feel useless. Maybe the one-legged doctor would have some good ideas.

The two girls wouldn't let him sit on the blanket with them because he was so dirty. He grumbled but sat on the cool grass beside Rowan, wiping the sweat from his face with his shirt. He drank the bottle of water she offered. "Thanks, darlin'," he said as he drained it.

Merle had planned to catch a few winks because he had stayed up with Amanda last night but he was transfixed by Rowan's newly painted toenails. Pink. Damn that was hot. She was lookin' real good. Her long lean body was stretched out like a cat in the sun, lots of bare skin, arms, legs, shoulders. He suddenly realized that he had never actually 'seen' her naked. Each time they were together it had been dark. It was always dark in the prison. Even if they slipped away during the day, all the really good private places were dark. He knew what every inch of her body felt like but seeing her...He had to touch her, had to see his hand on her skin. He ran his fingers down her leg and captured a small foot. Bringing it to his mouth, he kissed each toe.

She giggled, trying to pull her foot away. "Stop it, Merle! That tickles."

"Hello? I'm here...Daddy," Amanda interrupted his musings. "Ugh. That's disgusting!"

"Sorry, baby girl, couldn't help myself." Then he asked Rowan, "How about you and me go for a walk, darlin'?" His voice was low and husky, hand still on her ankle.

"A walk? Yeah, right." Amanda snorted.

"Hey, take a nap, Ladybug." He chuckled. "I'm jus' havin' a little fun here with my woman." He crawled toward Rowan, leaning in for a kiss.

"Eww, Merle! You're sweaty and nasty. Get off!"

Undaunted, he wrapped the woman in an allover hug and kissed her loudly on the lips. She squealed and twisted, trying to get out of his dirty embrace. "You bastard!" she said, finally breaking free and rolling away, breathless and laughing.

Merle grinned at her. "Why don't you come and help me...clean up."

She chuckled at his determination. "You can't fool me, Merle Dixon. I know all your tricks!"

"Nah, darlin', this ol' dog still has a few you ain't seen." Then he added, "C'mon, I'll show them to ya."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Amanda interjected. Merle looked at his daughter quickly and then realized she was joking, sort of.

"Don't you have work to be done?" asked Rowan.

"They can do without an ol' man like me for a few minutes."

Rowan raised a brow, and replied, "Just a few minutes, huh, not sure that's worth my time."

"Damn, girl! Ain't you a cold bitch," he said shaking his head and smiling. This time, he leaned in close and stole a soft kiss without touching anything but her lips. "I'll show you later what an ol' man can do, baby doll," he promised and whispered a little something more in her ear. He grinned, pleased with the blush that spread across her cheeks and the shocked look in her pretty brown eyes. He patted his daughter on the head and he went back to where Daryl, Martinez, and Oscar were digging the ditch.

Amanda watched her dark-haired friend as her wide eyes followed Merle back to the worksite. She still didn't fully understand the attraction between the two but she supposed the woman was good for her daddy and he was good for her.

"Rowan, do you ever wish you were back in Woodbury?"

"No," she answered without hesitation. "I didn't realize how confined it was there. I like this." She gestured to the wide expanse of the prison grounds. "Lots of breathing room. It's safe here but I can still see the outside world. You couldn't see past the walls back in Woodbury." Rowan slipped her shoes on. "I want to see if Carol needs help. You want to come?"

"No. I'll stay out here and watch Judith. I don't want to wake her, yet." The baby had been sleeping in a playpen, covered with a light blanket to keep the sun off of her tender skin. Amanda lay back on the blanket and dozed off.

Daryl watched the ladies from where he was digging. They were fuckin' crazy, smilin' and laughin, and painting their goddamn nails and acting like it wasn't the end of the world! Even the level-headed Carol was actin' like she didn't have a lick of sense. He would never understand women. He caught Glenn swiping a hand full nail polish bottles on their last supply run together. The Korean claimed that Maggie wanted to give it to Beth for a birthday present.

His brother's bitch had a calendar that she brought with her. Been keeping track of the days since the dead started walking. She wrote down everyone's birthday. Rick and Carl estimated Judith's, it was close to Lori's so they made that date her "official" birthday. Merle even went along with that stupid ass shit, told her his birthday and Daryl's too. Guess he didn't wanna make his whore mad enough not to give 'im any. He never thought he'd see they day his brother was pussy-whipped. Guess the end-of-the-world shit will do that to a man.

Beth's birthday had already passed, just a month ago. He was damn thankful he didn't know it then. He would of have had to come up with a gift. And, shit, now she was all of eighteen and that didn't make things any less complicated for him. It was easy to say she was too young at seventeen. Eighteen, he'd have to think on that. He was over twenty fuckin' years older than her. Oh hell, he was old enough to be her dad...but at least he sure as hell wasn't as old as her dad.

He tried avoiding the girl so he could think about what he was going to do but damn if she wasn't quiet as a mouse when she wanted to be. She always seemed to catch up with him before he could make a fast getaway. And then she would touch him or kiss him and he'd kiss her back because he didn't know what else to do. He'd really rather kiss her than talk about it. She was "gentle" with him, now, not all hands like the first time when she threw herself at him. She was sweet like she was the one convincing him to let her in his pants which was in fact exactly what she was doing.

Daryl hated to admit that Merle was right. He was a fuckin' pussy. He didn't have the balls to even look at Herschel right now much less speak to him. He swore the old man was giving him the evil eye and it scared the shit out of him. His goddamn dick shriveled up and hid whenever the old man was near. Merle was fuckin' right about everything.

Hands tore at her clothes, ripping, shredding fabric and flesh, blinding terror, agonizing pain, complete and utter helplessness, fear clutching her heart, a hand tightening around her throat squeezing, not merciful enough to take her life, too cruel for that, squeezing just enough to still her struggles, the other hand digging, invading, tearing at her. making her cry out in pain, helplessness, failure.

"Mandy, honey."

Don't touch me...she was tied down, paralyzed, immobile. Someone was shaking her. Cruel, mocking, laughter drowned out the sound of her screams. Why won't anyone help me! Daddy! Help me! What's wrong with you Daddy? Why won't you help me! Where's your hands? Oh dear God, Daddy! No!

"Mandy! Wake up, hon!" Amanda's eyes flew open to see Rick's face hovering mere inches from hers, his hands on her shoulders.

"Oh my God, Rick! I was, I thought..." He wrapped his arms around her and let her sob against his chest.

He stroked her hair, whispering softly, "Shhh, baby, it's okay. It was just a bad dream. You're here safe, with us, at the prison."

Judith's cries brought her back, back to the prison yard. She must have fallen asleep. Oh my God. She gulped and pulled away from his arms, muttering "Sorry."

He picked up his baby and sat on the blanket beside her. "Please don't push me away, Mandy." Judith climbed off his lap and happily crawled around the blanket then over to the playpen where she pulled herself up.

Amanda didn't say anything. She curled her feet under her legs and sighed deeply, a faraway look in her eyes.

"I'm here for you, when, you're ready to talk."

"I don't know, Rick," she said, still shaken from the images that had just assaulted her brain. I'm not ready, yet.

He wanted to hold her in his arms and beg her to move into his cell, like they talked about the night before she left for the run. He wanted to hold her while she slept, keep the nightmares away. This frail, pale woman was just a shadow of his Mandy. He wanted to help her find her way back and it was killing him that she wouldn't let him. He covered her hand with his...she looked at it then up at him, her blues were faded, full of pain, fear, and maybe betrayal? He hated that he was cause of that. But she didn't pull her hand away. She let him touch her. He half-hoped she would scream at him, hit him, just do something to show that her fire was still burning.

"Get the fuck away from my daughter!" Merle charged at Rick but held his temper when the baby girl, Judith, crawled toward him. "Fuck!" he said, not getting out of the way fast enough as she latched onto his pants leg, babbling.

Rick tensed. The man was too close to his baby.

Judith stretched her little hands toward the angry bull of a man. Rick's heart stopped. The older Dixon bent to pick her up. Rick held his breath. "Now little one, I'm thinking your daddy's bout to piss hisself with ya climbin' up ol' Merle like a little monkey." Judith giggled and slapped playfully at his right arm which was attempting to hold her steady.

"Stop it, Daddy."

"Ain't doing nothing, Ladybug," he protested to his own daughter as Judith leaned over to gnaw on the prosthetic cover. "Hey, little booger, that thing's nasty," he said pulling her away and propping her on his opposite hip.

Rick stood up. "I'll take her now," he said firmly, reaching for his daughter and receiving no opposition from Merle except for a glare. He visibly relaxed once his baby was safe in his arms.

"He's not a monster Rick." Amanda looked up at him, shielding her eyes from the sun. "He wouldn't hurt her."

"Ya think I'd hurt a baby, Grimes?" Merle cocked his head, looking at the other man, the one who cuffed him to a rooftop to die, exposed to the elements and flesh-eating walkers. And Officer Friendly thought he was the monster?

"Not thinking anything, Dixon, 'cept it's her dinner time," he said and headed off with a nod towards Amanda. "You know where to find me, Mandy, when you're ready."

"Fuck off, ya prick!" Merle called after him, "And stay away from my baby girl!"

"Daddy!"

"What?"

"Please, stop it."

"I'm just trying to take care of ya, Ladybug."

"I don't need you to do that," she said wearily.

"Of course you do."

"Daddy, I haven't even seen you since I was sixteen. You didn't bother to show up the last summer I came to Georgia. Uncle Daryl picked me up at the airport and he dropped me off when it was time to go home. That wasn't even the first time you weren't there. What were you doing that was more important than seeing your daughter?" Amanda stared at him, hands on her hips.

Merle looked away. He couldn't face her cold blue gaze. He didn't remember much from those days. He'd been into the drugs way too deep. "Now, Ladybug, I ain't..."

"Never mind. It doesn't matter because I've been taking care of myself since then." She picked up the blanket, shook of the grass and folded it, sticking it under her arm. She slipped her feet into her shoes, not bothering to tie them. "I love you, Daddy, I really do," she said, kissing his cheek, "but let me fight my own battles."

With a lump in his throat, Merle Dixon watched his daughter walk away, knowing damn well that every fuckin' word she said was true.

Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!