Merle kept watch with Daryl. Not because it was his turn but mainly for the companionship. He sat in an old lawn chair with his ankles crossed and propped on the low wall of the guard tower. The Chinaman and the farmer's older daughter had picked up a few assorted chairs and placed them there. Pretty good idea, he thought, must have been hers.

The brothers were lost in their own thoughts and neither would think a thing if the other didn't speak the entire time. They weren't like bitches, who had to fill the treasured silence with chatter and if you didn't, they'd think you were fuckin' mad at 'em. Rowan wasn't like that. Sure she talked and he sometimes listened but she didn't get mad if he didn't hold up his end of the conversation. Sometimes she'd sit with him and do some minor chores, like mending clothes, peeling vegetables, or writing in that little calendar of hers. Last supply run he picked up a few pens and notebooks for her and she acted like he gave her a goddamn diamond ring! Oh, he wasn't complaining, her thank you was plenty satisfactory for him. In fact, he was trying to decide what to pick up for her next that might result in another blow job.

How the fuck did he get off track, thinking about her? Shit. It was Grimes that he had to figure out. What the fuck was he going to do about him? Did his baby girl really love that asshole? Fuck! "Hey, baby brother."

"Hmmmm," Daryl answered absently.

"Ya think Ladybug loves that bastard?"

Daryl turned around. "Fuck, Merle, why ya asking me?

"Rowan said she did. Said if I did anything to that bastard, Amanda ain't ever gonna forgive me."

His damn brother was being led around by his dick by that bitch and Daryl was going have to find a new place to sleep if they didn't find a place besides his perch to do it. "Pft. Ya believe every thing ya whore says just 'cause she spreads her legs for ya every time ya get a itch? Ya'll need to find a..."

Merle interrupted. His voice was dangerously low and calm. "Listen carefully, boy, 'cause I ain't sayin' this again. If ya ever fuckin' call my lady a whore again, I'll kick your teeth in."

"Damn Merle. Ya really like 'er?" His brother didn't answer but his eyes were hard and the set of his jaw were all Daryl needed for an answer. "Okay then."

Merle visibly relaxed. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Weren't ya listenin', ya dipshit?" Merle shook his head. Idiot. "Ya think my baby girl loves Grimes?"

"Fuck. Merle. Why don't ya just ask her?"

He shrugged. "Not sure she's talkin' to me right now."

"Ain't surprised. Ya can be a real asshole, sometimes."

Merle snorted. Too true. He wasn't gonna even try to deny it. "So Darylina, what's up with you and Cherry Pie?"

"Damn it, Merle."

"What, bro?" he asked, grinning innocently.

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Ya always gotta be an asshole. Can't be serious for one damn minute."

"I am serious. I wanna know."

"Fuck Merle, ain't nothin' going on."

"Why the hell not?"

"Cuz I ain't good enough for 'er."

"Cut that shit out. This fuckin' apocalypse evens the playin' field out, brother. Hell, you're better off than most. You and me, we're suited for this shit hole because we already lived in one. Think a girl like Rowan woulda gave me a chance before the fuckin' world went to shit? Hell no, baby brother. She woulda crossed the street so she wouldn't have to get too close. Does that bother me? No, 'cause what was before doesn't fuckin' matter no more. Cherry Pie wouldn't have given you the time o' day, nor you her, before all this shit. But the world's changed. Things is different now. She has a better chance of survival stickin' with a redneck piece o' shit like you. So get off your ass, talk to her old man and get yourself laid."

Amanda still couldn't sleep. She wasn't sure how long she'd been awake. She thought about asking Hershel if he had anything to help her but it was late and she didn't want to wake him. She heard Rowan climb on to the top bunk a little while ago and now she listened to her soft steady breathing. She wondered if the woman wanted to be here or would she rather be sleeping with Merle. She felt a bit guilty keeping them apart but she also relied on Rowan's presence to help her through the bad nights.

Amanda listened as the rest of the group, all except those on watch, settled in for the night, one-by-one. Taking her daddy's advice, Rick had put an extra person on guard duty since she was rescued. The former Woodbury residents, Merle and Caesar, said the Governor would come looking for them eventually. To their advantage, he had no idea where to start plus Merle and Daryl took out his best men.

Shit. Amanda threw her arm over her eyes. She would have to talk to her daddy soon. About Rick. About Atlanta. She didn't want to but she'd rather just get it all out in the open and be done with it once and for all. God, she hoped it would be possible. Her daddy was so stubborn and unforgiving. She supposed he had a right to be. She had trouble not thinking about his missing right hand when Rick was around. How could he do such a thing? According to Daryl, he had no choice in cuffing him but not letting him go? Rick didn't have the key, gave it to the man Daddy beat up. Was that the wisest decision? Shit. She could spin this mess round and round in her mind and still not come up with answers.

She heard her daddy come into her cell. He checked on her every night before he turned in. He was silent but she was usually awake, just pretending to sleep. She didn't want him to worry. He pulled the covers up over her shoulders, kissed her forehead and whispered G'night, Ladybug. Then she heard him whisper something to Rowan and the sound of them kissing. He left as quietly as he came. Merle said he'd spent enough time behind bars that he wasn't putting himself in a cage voluntarily so he slept on the perch with Daryl. Rowan said she wouldn't sleep with him on the perch as long as his brother was there so this was their compromise, unsatisfactory for both parties, but it was what it was.

It was stuffy in her cell and that didn't make it any easier to sleep so Amanda grabbed her blanket and pillow and decided to take Daryl up on his offer to sleep in the guard tower. She slipped her feet into a pair of sandals and quietly made her way out to the tower. The night air was laced with the scent of distant rain. It had been awhile since it rained at the prison. A late summer shower would be nice. They had sat several rain barrels around the grounds to catch the precipitation. It would be boiled, bottled and stored for future use.

She made her way up her steps looking forward to her uncle's silent yet comforting presence. Hopefully she would have some respite from the nightmares that haunted her dreams and chased away precious sleep. When she reached the top, a dark figured turned toward her. "Daryl?"

"No, it's me," Rick said quietly. "He went to get some sleep."

"Oh, I thought he'd still be here," she said and turned to go. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He noted her blanket and pillow. "Having trouble sleeping?"

She sighed. "Yeah, Uncle Daryl said I could sleep up here while he was on watch."

"Go ahead, Mandy. Don't let me stop you." His expression was soft. Kind. Caring. Not the one of a man who could leave another to die.

Did she really want to stay here? I don't know if I can fall asleep so close to you. Her mind was racing and she was more awake then when she left her cell. "That's okay, Rick. I don't want to bother you."

"Mandy, hon. You could never bother me." He gestured to the larger of the two chairs. "I think that one reclines. Lie down. I'll make sure you stay safe."

Safe? Would she ever feel safe again?

Amanda awoke to the rays of the rising sun warming her face. She shot up and then relaxed, remembering where she was... in the guard tower. She actually fell asleep. Rick was still with her. He turned to look at her and smiled. "Morning."

She stretched her arms above her head and felt her back and shoulders pop. "Morning. Guess I slept better than I thought I did." No nightmares.

"Yes. you did," he said grinning, crystal blue eyes sparkling. "Did you know you snored?"

"Do not."

Rick raised his eyebrows and she threw her pillow at him. He dodged and it went over the side beyond the fence into a walker's head.

"Damn it!" she said, getting up to look over the wall. "You know how hard it is to find a good pillow?"

He chuckled. "I'll find you another one, Mandy."

"One without walker brains on it?"

He nodded and smiled that sexy smile of his. "I'll do my best."

"Thanks." She smiled back at him and said, "but, I don't snore."

"Of course not, hon."

She grabbed her blanket. "I guess I better go in before I'm missed. Daddy will go ballistic." She rolled her eyes. "Rick, who's relieving you?"

"Oscar. He'll be up after breakfast."

"Okay, then." She smiled at him. Again. He wanted to touch her, hug her, kiss her, but he knew he shouldn't push it. At least she was talking to him now...and smiling. She was so beautiful when she smiled.

Amanda felt good. Better than she had in days, no, weeks. She hummed to herself on the way back to cell block wondering if it from finally sleeping without nightmares or being in Rick's company. Maybe it was both. Either way, she was happy and hoped her daddy wouldn't ruin it with the foul temper she suspected he was in when he discovered her missing from her cell.

"Where the fuck'd ya go?" Her daddy's bellow greeted her as she entered the cellblock.

Oh, God, not already! Amanda cringed and went to put her blanket in her cell.

"Fuck, Merle, keep it down!" Daryl said in between bites of powdered eggs and instant grits. "Tryin' ta eat over here."

Judith laughed from her seat on Beth's lap and slung a handful of grits, hitting Merle in the face.

"F-, Sh-, damn it, booger! Keep your food to yourself!" He wiped the mess off his cheek, flicking a little piece back at the girl.

Merle was still standing at the table when Amanda returned. "Where the hell where ya been?" he demanded loudly.

"Daddy, please stop yelling at me." She said sweetly, kissing his cheek, and helped herself to a plate of food. "Got a little something on your cheek, Daddy. Tastes like grits."

He wiped the remaining food from his cheek and sat down. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," she said forking the food into her mouth, hungrily. "This is delicious, Carol."

The older woman beamed a smile at her, pleased to see a bit more of the old Amanda back. "Thanks, sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

Amanda nodded. "I did...in the tower like Daryl suggested."

Daryl looked up from his plate and said with his mouth full, "Don't drag me in the middle of you and your daddy's shit, Possum."

"I wouldn't sleep anywhere else," Oscar said, from the end of the table.

"Wish I'd done it sooner." She smiled down the table at him. "Must have been the fresh air."

"Or lack of metal bars," The big man added.

"Where's Rowan, Daddy?"

Merle was still watching his daughter. "Still sleeping. She wasn't feelin' good. Tired, I reckon."

Oscar cleaned off his plate and Carol took it from him. "I'll take that for you. Go relieve Rick so he can get some breakfast while it's still hot."

"Yes ma'am," he said.

Merle looked at Daryl then at Amanda. "Caesar's not on watch?"

"No," Carol answered, picking up Daryl's empty plate. "He's helping me in the kitchen since Rowan is sick."

Merle silently cursed to himself. Sneaky fuckin' bastard. He started to rise but Amanda put her hand on his arm. "Please, Daddy. I didn't have any nightmares last night and I'm feeling really good. Don't ruin it for me."

"Well, just fuck me," he said under his breath, sitting back down.

"Good morning." Rick greeted the people still left at the table which included Merle, Amanda, Beth, Daryl, Hershel. Caesar brought himself and Rick a plate. Carol sat down beside him.

Rick picked up his baby. "Hey punkin'. How's Daddy's girl?" She cooed and swatted him with sticky hands. "Hold on there, slugger!" He turned her away from him and Beth wiped her hands and face.

"There you go, little one. All clean. Now, give your daddy a kiss. I'm gonna start on the dishes. Anyone who wants to help feel free to join me," Beth said looking over her shoulder as she headed to the kitchen.

Merle kicked Daryl under the table and nodded the direction the young blonde went.

Daryl yelped, "What the hell, Merle?"

Merle shook his head. "Damn it, Darylina, you are too stupid to ever get..." he cut himself off remembering the girl's old man was still at the table. He didn't want to ruin what little chance his baby brother had for getting laid but he just wanted to reach across the table and smack some sense in to the boy.

"Where's Carl?" Rick asked, wiping off the sloppy kiss Judith had planted on his face.

Carol answered, "He wasn't feeling good, still in bed."

Rick started to rise from the table. "I better go check on him."

"Eat, Rick," Hershel urged. "I already checked on him. Just a bit of a cold, I think. Rowan's out too."

"Okay, if you're certain."

Hershel nodded. "Eat and get some sleep too. Carl's on the top bunk in your cell."

"I'll take Judith while you eat, Rick," offered Amanda. Rick smiled at her as he handed his daughter over to her waiting arms. Amanda answered with a smile of her own before putting her hand on her father's shoulder. "C'mon, Daddy, let's go for a walk."

"What?" Merle had been glaring at the bastard and almost didn't hear his daughter. Walk? Why'd he wanna do that? The fucker he wanted to talk to was sitting right here across from him. "Nah, Ladybug, go on ahead, I'll catch up." Maybe.

"Daddy, now," She gave him her pissy look and he figured he'd be better off facing whatever shit she had first. Grimes could wait. "Please, Daddy."

Fuck. "Fine," he said shoving his chair back from the table. "Let me take my plate to Cherry Blossom, first," he said with satisfaction as Daryl spit his powdered milk across the table.

"Rowan okay?" Amanda asked when Merle caught up to her.

"Yeah, just tired."

Amanda shifted Judith to her other hip. "Keep her up too late?" she teased.

"Shit, girl. That is none of your damn business. But no, she slept in your cell all night. Where were you?"

"And that, dear Daddy, is none of your business." She handed Judith to him. "You hold her awhile. She's heavy."

"Damn it Ladybug!" he complained, taking the Grimes kid. "I'm your daddy and where you spend your night is my business."

Judith whimpered and looked at him with her big brown eyes. "Sorry, booger, ol' Merle didn't mean to scare ya. My baby girl is being a brat."

"Shut up, Daddy."

He was already fuckin' this up. Women were so damn hard to talk to. "Can we start again, Amanda?"

"Only if you don't treat me like a kid."

Shit. That's how I remember you...how I think of you. He had trouble getting it through his thick skull that she was grown up. Twenty-six. Damn, he missed so much. "I'll try. Ain't gonna be easy, though. You're always going to be my baby girl."

She sighed. That was probably the best she could hope for.

"You were with him last night, weren't ya?" His voice was accusing.

Here we go. "Yeah, sort of. I slept in the guard tower while he was on watch."

Holding Judith with his damaged right arm, he grabbed Amanda's forearm, forcing her to face him. "How can you be with him?"

She sighed. "I'm not with him, not at the moment anyway."

"Ya gonna be?"

"I don't know, Daddy," she answered honestly. "I just don't know."

He dropped his hand from her arm. "Did ya love 'im? Before ya found out what he did?"

"Tell me exactly what he did Daddy."

"Fucking left me to die!" he hissed when he what he really wanted to do was yell but he didn't want to scare the kid.

"Why, Daddy! Why would Rick do that?" The man she knew wasn't that cold and heartless. He was a good man.

"Don't matter. No one deserves to be treated like that."

"Were you high?"

Fuck! He gritted his teeth. Fuck, yeah, he was high and his recollection was fuzzy but he remembered the face of every goddamn person that was on that roof that day.

Amanda looked him in the eyes and asked again, "Were you high, Daddy?"

"Yeah." Goddamn it, he was. But that was then. Took a fuckin' apocalypse to get him sober and he didn't plan on backsliding.

His daughter looked at him sadly. Tears welled up in her blue eyes.

Fuck. Merle turned away from her gaze. Couldn't face the disappointment in her eyes. "Now, answer my question, Amanda. Did ya love 'im?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously, Amanda?" he shook his head. "Ya still love him now?"

She nodded and burst into tears. God help her she still did. "I love him, Daddy and I wanna go to him but I don't think he'll want me anymore."

"What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout?" That was fine by him but he saw the way the mother fucker looked at her. Made his blood boil. Obviously, his baby was hurting. She wouldn't cry over nothing. He taught her better than that. "Why the fuck wouldn't he want ya, Ladybug?" Goddamn it, he couldn't believe he was asking that when he shoulda been celebrating.

"Because of what Crowley did to me, Daddy." Her voice was small and full of hurt and it stabbed his heart with slivers of pain and fury. She wiped her tears away with trembling hands. "Why would anyone want me now?"

He pulled his daughter to him with his left arm and held her. Merle Dixon didn't cry but he sure as hell got mad and he wished that fucker was still alive so he could tear him apart, limb by limb. He didn't know what to say. This was so out of his league. He was fighting back his own goddamn tears and Dixons don't fuckin' cry. Fuck! He kissed the side of her head and held her while she sobbed on his shoulder. Judith grabbed one of Amanda's curls and shoved it in her mouth.

Amanda stepped back pulling her hair away from the baby. She straightened out her Daddy's shirt and patted the spot damp with her tears. "Sorry, Daddy. Didn't mean to do that. Tears ain't never fixed nothin', right?"

"Shit, Baby Girl. I ain't worried about this shirt," he said taking her hand in his. "C'mon this way. There's a place I can put this booger down and we can have a seat."

She followed him to what used to be the basketball court. A few benches still remained against the wall and they picked one out. Father and daughter sat side-by-side. He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him. They watched Judith pull up on the next bench, babbling to herself, as she made her way to one end and back again, making sure either Merle or Amanda applauded her accomplishment every time.

Amanda had stopped crying but her voice was shaky. "Before I found you. Rick asked me to move into his cell. I know it sounds corny but I was looking forward to waking up in his arms." Judith had crawled over and was standing, holding on to Amanda's leg and she ruffled the baby's sparse hair absently.

Merle sighed and bit his tongue to keep from saying something that would upset her. Anything bouncing around his brain right now regarding that bastard Rick would upset her. Fuck. He thought his head might explode from the pressure of keeping it all in. He understood where she was coming from. He preferred the mornings he woke up with Rowan. But Grimes? Couldn't she have found someone else?

She turned on the seat to face him. "Would you answer something for me, Daddy. Honestly?"

"I'll try, Ladybug." He said patting her knee. Judith grabbed his hand and stuck it in her mouth. "Hold on there, lil biter, ya getting some sharp teeth. Don't want you to bite my other hand off."

"Daddy!" Amanda chuckled. "That was awful!"

He snorted. "Couldn't help it, just came out. Can't have a Grimes take my other hand, too."

A tiny sad smile toyed at the corners of Amanda's lips as she watched the baby play with Merle's hand. "Daddy, do you think Rick could still love me, still want to touch me, after what happened?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How the hell do I answer that? He wished her momma was here. She'd know what to say. That bitch ain't never had a loss for words. He supposed she was gone too, along with all the others who didn't have what it took to survive this shit. He exhaled loudly. "Amanda, I can't answer that. I don't know what the bas-, man would do but if he really loves you he ain't gonna let nothin' get in the way of bein' with ya." Holy shit! That just about killed him. He leaned his head back against the brick wall.

Amanda leaned over and kissed her father on the cheek. "Thank you, Daddy."

He nodded and swallowed, eyes closed.

"I know that was hard to say." She squeezed his hand. "You gonna be alright? Can you talk?"

He shot her a dirty look then grinned.

She grinned back. "Go ahead, get it out of your system before we go back to the cell block."

"Fuckinghellshitdamn cocksuckingsonofabitch motherfuckingbastardfu-"

"Fuck!" Judith said, plain as day, clinging on to Merle's knee, effectively cutting his string of curses short. He pulled her into his lap.

"Oh my God, Daddy!" Amanda covered her mouth. "Her first word is fuck? Oh no! That can't be her first word! Shit! What is Rick gonna say!"

Judith was giggling, pulling on Merle's ear while he was laughing hysterically. "Fuckin' perfect!"

"It's not funny, Daddy!" Amanda insisted. "And quit cussing, damn it!"

"Sure it is, baby girl. Funniest fuckin' thing I heard in a long time!" he said, breathlessly. "I love this little booger!"

"Fuck!" Judith said again, a little louder this time, enjoying the attention of her elders.

Amanda tried not to laugh. She really did but failed miserably. "What are we going to do?"

"Not a goddamn thing," her daddy answered, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Fuckin' priceless."

Her voice rose an octave or two, turning into a whine. "Seriously, Daddy!"

"I am serious, Ladybug." He said, kissing Judith on the cheek, much to the baby's delight. "I'm gonna have to fuckin' play nice with Officer Friendly just so I can be there to see the look on that bastard's face when his baby girl tells him to fuck off."

"Shit! Stop it, Daddy!" she said, punching the arm that wasn't around the baby. "Shit! Oh no, Judith, don't say that either."

Thank you for reading! Please take the time to post a review. They make me very happy! :)