Note: I love and hate this chapter. …but I came up with a reason for the nail polish. I've never seen one before.

I am back from vacation; I wrote 4 chapters of this story, 1 for high crime and 38 pages of a currently unreleased Gaara-Sakura AU. I absolutely adore it!

On with the chapter:

TO NEVER LOSE
By Reverse

Chapter 7 - The Breakdown

"Put this on," I was thrown a set of clothes by the ever-cold Itachi. I didn't bother to do anything beyond shooting him a glare. He didn't even see it; unfortunately. The elder Uchiha was already occupied at staring out the window. I absently wondered where he got those infamous scars but brushed it off quickly. Itachi was dangerous, standing on the same side or not, I couldn't afford anything beyond professional interest.

Though apparently he could, "You are a healer, correct."

I was inspecting the clothes, "Healer before fighter." But a more driven fighter these days, I didn't bother to add.

"Hn." He sounded amused. I slipped off my tattered clothes and pulled on the generic ones, plain underwear and black pants. A netted sleeveless shirt, and of course the black silk cloak with the red clouds. I was unpleasantly reminded of the Sharingan, with the bloody sky, I wondered how far up in this organization Itachi really was. I carried the cloak over my arm with the woven hat held in my hand. I turned to Itachi who was already facing me.

I stood my ground as he walked deliberately towards me.

"We plan on the way?" I asked. His eyes seemed to focus better once I spoke the words and I wondered how bad his eyesight really had gotten.

The three pinwheels of the Sharingan resurfaced, probably for comfort; security.

Maybe because he couldn't even see without them turning anymore, I wasn't sure. I ignored the Sharingan, mild comfort in the fact we were on the same side of the seemingly endless battlefield. I brushed aside the living reminder of him.

Sasuke.

I reprimanded myself for being stupid and chose instead to ask my current partner about our mission.

"What are we there for anyways?" I pondered aloud.

"Leader wants us to look in on the Kyuubi, no capture as of yet, and I want a particular scroll." His voice was hollow, haunting. He sounded like a much older and bitter human than his age. I wondered what toll life had taken on him; he appeared so calm and calculative. He appeared cold, but he seamed jaded and weary.

I nodded in acknowledgement. "You need to paint your nails too."

Sure enough, there was a bottle of black polish that had slipped to the floor when I had dressed. I picked it up and held it as I threw my old clothes into the fire. I had discovered a small fireplace behind the table, a cavity in the whitewashed wall. However, I made note to keep my black ANBU armor and added it to my simple ensemble. I made a mental note to find a long sleeved net shirt so my armor was a surefire not to slip.

"Why do you paint your nails?" I asked in regards to the organization as I sat on the bed and unscrewed the bottle.

He shrugged.

Now I was getting a little of my spitfire personality back. It was amplified through his noncommittal answers. "That isn't an answer!" I demanded.

He looked back at me, not affected. "We use sign to be noiseless."

It makes it easier to see. Was likely what was left unsaid, it made sense. I used gentle strokes to apply the polish, barely letting it dry before standing up.

I took one last survey of the room, wooden table and chair. There was a wooden bed frame with a white comforter and pillow. It was plain and generic; I couldn't say I expected anything better.

I couldn't even say I disliked it.

"Are we leaving now?" I asked.

"Hn." I followed Itachi, taking note of where my room was in the hallway.

We exited the base and began walking back the way I had come; to Konoha.

Itachi unpredictably started a conversation. "I want you to go see the Hokage when we get there. Don't slip on your cloak till you have. And keep your hat off."

I understood what he was saying, but didn't understand the motive. Probably a personal vendetta, I nodded in compliance anyway. There was no need to ask, I was a soldier once more, somebody capable of taking orders.

Somebody capable of not showing emotion.

For the time being I sipped the woven hat over my cherry hair, the white silk flowing over my shoulders. The silk cloak was still kept over my arm.

Itachi and I both leapt to the high canopy branches of the trees. With the speed we were traveling, it would only take a day to reach the Village hidden in the Leaves. My home village.

We traveled quickly and noiselessly.

At one point, Itachi was at my side, traveling at invisible rates of speed, he pulled me by my waist flush against him with his own back against the tree I had been standing on.

"Black Ops on the left. The one who is leading has a black mask with a green cloud on the cheek."

"His name is Nara, he's a planner and has a relatively strong justu;" I whispered; the hush of my voice barely visible, being from Konoha, Itachi would know the jutsu of the shadow users. "He's temporarily Red; he'll be taking a Genin team in a month."

"We're sidestepping," He stated.

We stayed out of the way till the chakra signatures disappeared and we were close enough to the village that Itachi was practically forced to speak. He was the unspoken leader in our mission.

I removed my hat and cloak, handing them over for Itachi. He took the hat but not the cloak.

I folded it once again over my arm, careful not to let the red clouds show.

I couldn't understand how I could feel so much more content with this choice than Konoha. My forehead protector was still in my pocket. It was unharmed. I felt that was one of the reasons I was sent here.

Resentment and anger were already rising in the proximity in this place. I remembered why; I had felt like Sasuke must have felt. Out of place; I felt completely alienated. Working as an ANBU, doing all the dirty work, I felt like a criminal who was justified.

I felt wrong.

I was already a criminal when I became Akatsuki, now I was labeled as one, I felt at ease. I was what I was, there were no more disillusions. I understood Sasuke leaving for the first time since he had. Sasuke is Sasuke, and he left when he realized to stay would have been to give that up. I wondered if Naruto would one day understand.

This is my last mission. If I return here, I won't be alive. Those words were as haunted as my eyes, my last words to her. I fixed on my cold, critical stare. Theses words were right. To her or any Kage, I wasn't considered to be alive. Not like I used to be. I had other loyalties now.

I walked in the gates, nodding to the guards. Itachi had already made his way discreetly inside the village. I had no need to be discreet for now. It wouldn't be like that for long.

I had made it half way through the village, my eyes empty and cold. I glared lightly and dismally at everything that passed. Like a ninja carried dead back from a mission, everybody skirted away from my presence like a plague. I heard the whisper of a Jounin as regarded me to be "living past her time."

"Just like Itachi," Whispered another. I nearly laughed bitterly; sure Itachi would be unpleased to let that whisper reach his ears.

The last one hit home. "Just as haunted…"

"Sakura!" A voice called, I almost frowned in disproval. The voice sounded so juvenile, I turned to see a brightly grinning blonde.

Her smile began to slip as our gazes met and held. My expression didn't even move.

"Ino," I acknowledged, even to my own ears I sounded somber.

Her eyes spoke her pain; I knew she would never try for ANBU from just seeing me.

What have they done to you? Her expression screamed. I didn't answer in anyway, my penetrating gaze unfaltering.

As if she had sparked no interest from me, I swung facing forward and walked towards the office of the Hokage. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hinata rush to aid Ino, both wearing a broken expression.

"I know she used to be your Hero," Hinata's hushed voice caught in my ears.

But Sakura isn't anybody's hero anymore. Another unspoken negativity... How this place could resent me upon it's creation of me. How this place could be so cold. It reminded me of myself and two other people. I brushed it aside and continued to walk.

The walk was filled with glares and stares and whispers. I heard hushed awe from the younger ninjas and academy students when I leapt from the ground and disappeared from sight.

I stood on the windowsill of the Hokage's window. Tsunade's back faced me. She hadn't even heard me come in. I stepped down hard on the floor hard to alert her to my presence.

The expectant look on my face frightened her when she turned around. I saw her eyes widen slightly. I had told her where I was with that noise. It was unspoken that I could have killed her had I wanted.

I strolled lazily to the front of the desk, appearing unconcerned with the Hokage.

I lost my lazy façade and stared intensely into her honey eyes. I drew from my pocket my Konoha forehead protector. A kunai against the edge of the metal, my hand not shaking, there was no hesitance in my features.

"My last words to you. My promise." I spoke clearly. "For you…"

I made sure I had her undivided attention, she was not my teacher anymore, but I maybe still viewed as her student, that's why she may have been reluctant to kill me sooner. "It stands."

My hand made its own way, carving its path to split the leave into two halves.

I tied it around my forehead, I was proud to display it since the first time I had that rose colored tattoo carved into my arm.

I swept out my silk cloak before sliding it on, leaving it undone. This surprised her but I left the room before her shock became anger.

My last glance at her expression was the one I would remember her by the most… one of sheer and utter horror. Distantly I wondered if Itachi had spoken to her before I had, she had that look. The one of lost hope, I swear I only saw it on his victims. Vaguely my mind replayed all the missions I had forgotten about to retain my sanity, or the barest, rawest glimpses of it.

I had seen that face before, I had been given it. But I would only remember it on a select few. Tsunade's expression held hopelessness for herself and the village she was bound to.

I exited through the door, sweeping the halls with the general fear of the Akatsuki.

The entire street turned to me, but I let their faces slide by as I walked the street, and omen of suffering. …A testament to suffering.

The space between me and them was increased by over half. I knew where my destination was. I coldly stared at all who came to see their angel finally show her wings. Not wings they particularly wanted to see. Not white and pure, black and blue.

I glided without a backwards glance.

The back of my cloak was caught by efficient hands and my fingers protested as I pulled of a Jutsu. I restrained my attacker and pushed them into the sidelines. My hands had clasped their wrists and my foot came up to kick under my restraint to push them away.

The face turned with all its painful familiarity. He swung and hit as hard as he could, anger lacing his features…

In a cloud of misty smoke, my clone disappeared. I walked out from the crowd. My cloak a deathly warning like the reaper I had come to resemble.

"You taught me how to do it; do you regret it?" I asked cautiously.

Blonde hair and the most forgiving blue eyes looked up at me, hurt but unsurprised. "Sakura—"

"Naruto," I cut him off. Those surrounding us blanched even more at my name, and I found myself enjoying the pettiness of their fear. They weren't even worth my time.

For Naruto, a little piece of my history, I could. "My bond is broken. I've paid for my past."

I will not leave you empty-handed. I wanted to speak the merciful words.

"Thank-you." Those words seemed to be my personal ghost. I supposed my bonds were broken differently from anybody else. I was released my promises with two words. Thank you.

I had no ties with either of my teammates. "Who knows what side I'll be on when we see each other again?"

"I can only hope…" He stared, silently blessing me with understanding.

I walked towards my destination. I was already making my decision, walking towards Itachi and Akatsuki, leaving Naruto behind. My own path.

Team 7 had not disbanded but moved forward, we had taken our own paths. We would follow them to the end. Two of us would add to the body count in our way there. One up us would try and bring the other two back.

I was sure that one day he would bring us both back, but for now there was no hope aside from future hope.

"There is no hope." I spoke, clearly and coldly. I continued on my walk. My choice would move forward, not fall back.

At least now I felt that it was the right choice.

But I knew that if he tried, my old teammate could change the workings of my mind.

Seeing me through his eyes; I would have already given up on me.