Amanda and Rowan sat on the floor outside the restroom door waiting for what felt like eternity for a mere three minutes to pass. The test stick was left in there so Amanda wouldn't be tempted to look at every second, or one hundred eighty times. She leaned her head back wearily against the wall and closed her eyes.

"If you can't live with whatever the results are, then please, I beg you, don't kiss me."

Rick rested his forehead against her and moved his hands to her shoulders. "I don't know how to do this, Mandy."

She sighed softly. "I don't either."

"I'll stay with you, for the test, if you want," Rick offered, squeezing her shoulders.

Amanda bit her lower lip and shook her head. She needed to be able to process the results without having to worry about his reaction as well.

"Okay," Rick said, pressing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. He straightened up, took off his watch and handed it to her. "You'll need this." His fingers lingered on hers a moment then she watched as he walked out the door.

As Rick Grimes left the infirmary headed for Cell Block C to check on his daughter, he spared a quick glance at Merle Dixon who was leaning against the opposite wall by Rowan. The death glare Dixon was shooting his way was so commonplace that it barely registered with Rick. Thank God, the man didn't say anything. Rick's own head was spinning out of control with worry, want, and indecision. Amanda appeared so small and fragile but the steely look he'd seen in the Dixon brothers' eyes shone bright from hers when she said she didn't want him to stay. Maybe he should have anyway.

These past three months had been fraught with more emotional burdens than he could deal with and still be an effective leader for the group. Was it fair to let Mandy think that there was still a chance for them when he didn't know himself? There was no denying he still loved her…but was that enough?

Was he willing to "step down" from the position that was thrust upon him a lifetime ago if it meant he could be with her? Was he willing to put the safety of his children in someone else's hands? Daryl? The Dixon brothers were a team and Merle was just too much of a loose cannon. Herschel? He could only lead from the sidelines. They needed someone who could take a physical role in protecting the group. Glenn? He'd come a long way but he really wasn't leadership material. He couldn't see Merle or Daryl either one following the young Korean. Oscar had shown no desire to lead. He was content taking orders. Shit.

That left only him.

Merle had wanted to talk to Martinez about some last minute things before tomorrow but he couldn't get his mind off of his daughter so he told the man to get some sleep while he could before his turn on watch. He had watched Grimes leave the infirmary. Rowan's hand on his cheek drew his attention away that asshole. "I'm going back in with Amanda," she told him softly.

He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her sweetly. "Take care of my baby girl." She nodded and disappeared through the infirmary door. He wished Rowan could have waited with him but Ladybug needed her more. He wondered where the hell his brother was. Probably playing house with Cherry Blossom. He smiled to himself. The boy finally made his move and it seemed to be working out well. Now, hopefully he wouldn't screw it up. Dixons had a knack for doing that.

Merle rubbed his stomach; it was in knots waiting for the results. He would find out in minutes if he was going to be granddaddy. He'd never really thought about it before. Grandpa Merle. Granddaddy. Papaw. Papaw Dixon. Gramps. He snorted. He was turning into a goddamn pussy. His grandbaby could just call him Merle.

Daryl tried to sit up in the tent without waking Beth but it didn't work. That girl was a light sleeper. She rolled over and put her hand on his leg. "Where you going, sweetie?" she mumbled.

"Gotta get ready for tomorrow," he answered gruffly trying to ignore his body's reaction to her touch.

"I thought it was just a supply run."

He was in the processing of putting on his shirt. He had to work fast before she could change his mind. "It is, just wanna make sure we're set." He hated lying to her but Merle didn't want anyone to know what they were doing. Supposedly, this was just a scouting mission but if his brother got the chance to take the Governor, he wouldn't pass it up.

"Can't it wait a few more minutes?" she pleaded, walking her fingers further up his thigh.

Naked Beth vs. Grumpy-ass Merle. Fuck yeah, it could wait. He tossed his shirt behind him and lay back down, pulling her on top of him. She sat up, straddling his hips. Damp blonde tendrils stuck to the side of her face and neck. Beth combed her hair back with her fingers and tied it in a knot low on her neck.

He ran his hands along her bare thighs. "How many of those condoms we got left?

"Not near enough. I tried to get more but I got caught." Oops. Maybe he didn't need to know that.

Daryl's hands stopped moving at her hips. "You wanna run that by me again, Angel?"

Shoot. Of course not. She smiled seductively and traced a finger around his navel and down the trail of hair that lead even lower. She could feel his muscles constrict beneath her touch and she thought she had him where she wanted but he grabbed her hand.

"Hold on, darlin'," he ordered, his voice a bit strained as if it was taking great effort just to speak. "We'll get back to that in a minute." Trying to think straight with her naked body on his was almost too much for him to overcome especially now that she was wriggling her hips knowing exactly what it was doing to him. He gripped them tightly and tried to put on a serious expression. "Beth, where the hell were you trying to get condoms?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her hands over her chest. "It was nothing, Daryl."

Damn, she didn't have to go and cover them up. "If it weren't nothin'," he asked, reaching up to pull her arms gently away, "then, why dontcha tell me?" No reason why he couldn't have a show while she was talking.

"Fine," she huffed. She was so cute when she was angry. He wasn't stupid enough to tell her that. He crossed his own arms behind head. This was gonna be good.

"I was getting Amanda's condoms from Rick's cell and I would've done it but Carl caught me."

His eyes widened. "You tried to steal from a cop?"

Her blue eyes flashed even in the dimly lit interior of the tent. "It wasn't stealing but that's not the point, Daryl! I didn't get them because Carl had them hidden in his pillow."

"Shit." Daryl's whole body shook with laughter.

"I don't see how that is funny," she retorted, grabbing his discarded shirt and putting it on. She sniffed it and wrinkled her nose but didn't remove the garment. "That kid is…is…a brat!"

"Ain't nothin' wrong with him."

"No?"

"No, darlin'. He's just a growing boy. Curious is all." He could remember being twelve. Boys will be boys was his motto.

"Well let me tell you something Daryl Dixon, he propositioned me!"

Daryl laughed harder. This little tale was getting better and better. "You must've misunderstood him, Angel."

"He wanted to make a deal with me for the condoms," she told him with righteous indignation.

"A deal?" His laughter was starting to die down. What? Exchanging dish-washing for watch duty?

She buttoned up his shirt and reached for her panties. "Yes, a deal. He said we could kiss or I could show him something."

"Don't be in such a rush." He grabbed her hands before she could put them on. "Show him what?"

"A body part, I don't know. I cut him off before he could say anything else!"

Aww, fuck. The boy just had a crush. He couldn't blame Carl but he'd have to set him straight. "Want me to talk to him?" A few tremors of laughter still shook his body.

"No. I'm sure his dad already has," she replied, snatching her panties out of his loose grip, satisfied at the look of surprise on his face.

Daryl sat up. "You told Rick?" he asked, astonished at her brazenness.

"Not exactly," she grimaced. "He walked in when I was about to beat the crap out of Carl." She pulled on her shorts and reached for her shoes. Beth didn't know if she would have really tried to beat up Carl but she had never been so mad before.

"Holy shit." Daryl muttered, dumbfounded. He was beginning to realize that maybe he didn't know Beth as well as he thought…that maybe she wasn't the sweet and gentle creature he pictured her as. She was a spitfire like her sister.

"Rick said he would talk to Carl. I did ask him for the condoms, though," she admitted sheepishly. "He said they were Amanda's and he would give them to her."

"Fuckin' hell!" His laughter had completely fled by this point. He didn't know whether to be angry or proud of her. He really couldn't find a reason to be mad.

"Go ahead and do whatever you have to do for the run tomorrow." She bent down and kissed lightly on the mouth. "I'm going to start dinner. Don't be late."

Dixon had changed his mind about talking to him and dismissed him so Caesar lay in his bunk trying to get in a nap in before his turn on watch duty. It wasn't going to happen. He had too much on his mind for sleep. Seeing the anxious look on Amanda's face in the infirmary made him feel like he was abandoning her, but she only wanted Rowan with her and he would respect that decision. But fuck if Grimes did.

When Rowan walked out of the room and Grimes stayed, Martinez was pissed. He hadn't worried about the man much before but from everything Amanda had told him, the possibility of her being pregnant was the only thing that was keeping Grimes away and now the moment of truth was at hand. If the test was negative, was he going to want her back? Would she go back? Okay that was the real question. Would she go back to him?

Where would that leave him? Caesar was happy when he was with Amanda and he wanted stay here with her but staying here if she was with Rick wouldn't be easy. He was closer to this prison group than anyone in Woodbury. The only two people he couldn't consider friends were Grimes and Dixon's younger brother. Maybe Glenn and Maggie, but they were always off together and he didn't really know them well. Grimes didn't trust him mainly because Merle did. Daryl just didn't like him and he kept his reasons to himself. Martinez was fine with that.

Caesar adored Carol; she reminded him of his oldest sister with her kind and nurturing ways. Oscar was a good man. So was Herschel and he and the farmer had many late night talks. Greene's youngest girl was a sweetheart but he had no idea what she saw in Daryl Dixon. Oh well, to each his own.

If Amanda was pregnant…well, that was a whole other ballgame. Caesar would willingly raise the baby as his own if Amanda would allow it. He had no problem with that. A baby was a baby and needed love and protection no matter what kind of monster the father was.

He had been unable to save his own from the biters but he was better prepared now. Martinez had the experience, skills, strength, and confidence now and he wouldn't let another child under his protection be harmed by those filthy dead things.

When it came right down to it, the West Georgia Correctional Facility was his home and Woodbury was becoming a faded memory.

What the fuck? Did Rick consider that a kiss? It was…sweet but it wasn't the wildly passionate I'll-love-you-forever kiss she was hoping for…the kind that she needed that would leave no doubt in her mind how he felt. It was safe. It was cautious. Bastard. Amanda squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She jumped when Rowan put her hand on her shoulder.

"I'm a good listener," the other woman offered.

"Are you going to tell Daddy everything I tell you?" She wouldn't be surprised if Rowan did but she wanted to at least know.

"Of course not, Amanda. Some things are just between us girls," Rowan assured her, patting the other woman's knee.

"What do I do?" She was hoping someone would tell her. Anyone, because she wasn't having any luck trying to figure it out on her own.

"Do you love Rick?" She already knew the answer to that without asking. She saw the way the two of them looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't watching. She wanted Amanda to admit it to herself.

Reluctantly, Merle's daughter nodded. As much heartache as he caused her, she couldn't help that she still did. It was hard to turn off those feelings. But…

"Then what's the problem?"

Amanda shrugged, picking at her short fingernails. "He can't handle my baggage." That was the truth of it as far as she could tell. He had too much of his own to deal with without the added burden of hers.

Rowan turned to look at her. "Can you wait until he can?"

Do I really want to? "I don't know."

"What if Caesar wasn't an option?"

"I don't want to be alone. I can't sleep and my mind keeps going where I don't want it to go. When I'm with Caesar, I can almost forget about all the other shit."

"Do you love Caesar?"

Not like I love Rick. I don't know if I'll ever love anyone like that again. "I don't know."

"Are you sure about that?" Rowan asked with skepticism in her voice.

Amanda blew out a breath. "Rowan, I like Caesar and I'm happy with him." She turned it back on her friend. "Besides, you didn't love Daddy when ya'll got together."

"Maybe, but I didn't have a man who loved me in the picture either."

"What I am supposed to do?"

"If you love Rick, fight for him."

"Fight what? His dead wife? His demons?" He can't even do it. How the hell do I do that?

"Don't give up on him."

He gave up on me. "Rowan, I don't think I have the strength left in me."

Rowan didn't say anything to that. She looked at Rick's watch and squeezed Amanda's hand. "Time's up."

Thanks to all my reviewers, followers and guests.

This chapter and whatever happens in the next have been particularly difficult to sort out due to the emotional issues involved. Some of you have expressed strong opinions on what should happen next. I value my readers' input and that is why I'm asking for you to let me know what you think if you haven't already. Everyone will not be happy with the outcome and for that I'm sorry but the story can only follow one path.

This tale has taken on a life of its own and is much longer than my original intention so again, many thanks for sticking with me this far.

Happy reading!