I'm sure I'm not the only one in mourning after last week's episode of TWD. What the hell were they thinking? It was very difficult to write again after that but not worry, dear readers, Merle Dixon will live on forever in fanfiction.

Amanda stared at the test stick. "Oh God." Her hand shook so hard she almost dropped it.

"Amanda?" Rowan poked her head through the doorway. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

With a shaky hand, the pale woman showed her the stick. There was no question about; the "+" was clear. The result was positive.

Rowan held Amanda's hair back while she vomited in the toilet of the small restroom of the infirmary. She heaved until there nothing was left to come out then she fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor.

Rowan didn't say anything. She just sat down beside Amanda and held her trembling hand until the bereft woman could catch her breath.

Amanda closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall fighting the tears that threatened to fall. "How do I face them?"

"Same as you always have," answered Rowan, helping her to her feet. "The only difference is now you know."

Merle Dixon's head jerked up when the door to the infirmary opened. Rowan stepped out first and the grim look on her face told him everything he needed to know. Fuck! He sighed and tried not to look unhappy when his baby girl emerged from behind the taller woman. Amanda was going to need him now more than ever. He wasn't going to let her down again.

Their matching blue eyes met briefly and then suddenly his daughter threw herself into his arms. "Oh God, Daddy. What am I going to do?" she cried.

"Hush, Ladybug. It's gonna be okay," he promised her even though he wasn't so sure himself. He'd make it okay…somehow. He'd find a way. She wept noisily against his broad chest while he patted her back, trying to impart some measure of comfort. "We're gonna take care of you," he promised, fighting the tears that threatened well up in his own eyes at her heartrending sobs. And then I'm gonna wipe Woodbury and the fuckin' Governor of the face of the earth.

Rick was in his cell rocking Judith. Amanda stood back and watched him with his daughter. There may be question about who the baby's biological father was but there was no question that Rick Grimes was her daddy. The love that shone from his eyes as he cooed to the child cradled in his arms was evident. She looked up at him with adoring eyes. Judith's chubby little hand pulled at his chin and he nipped at it playfully causing her to giggle.

A fleeting smile touched Amanda's lips at the tender exchange between father and daughter. When Rick looked up and saw her, he beckoned her with a nod. She entered the cell reluctantly and sat on his bunk with her feet curled under her. This was going to actually be more awkward than she imagined. She never had to tell anyone that she was pregnant before and this was something he didn't want to hear almost as much as she didn't want to see that stupid little blue "+" sign.

He propped Judith on his shoulder and rubbed her back. Neither adult spoke fearing to wake the little girl before she was fully asleep. The silence between them wasn't comfortable as before. Too much had happened and been left unsaid and now Amanda was having second thoughts about coming here at all. She really wanted to leave before he could put the princess down because she wasn't as ready as she thought she was to face him with the news.

Rick watched the emotions play across Amanda's face. She looked tired. Her dark curls fell limply around her unusually pale face. Dark smudges circled her normally bright blue eyes. He had a feeling that she was getting ready to bolt and he didn't want her leave yet. This black cloud that had settled between them needed to be cleared away. When she stood, he stood with her, praying that his daughter didn't wake. He mouthed "wait" as he eased past her to take Judith to her crib.

It took Rick a minute to get the baby down but he didn't hear Amanda stirring in his cell so he hoped she was still there. She sat in the rocking chair, twirling his watch around her fingers, lost in thought. When he stopped in the doorway, she looked up at him with haunted eyes. He raised a questioning eyebrow, "Well? What's the verdict?"

A spark of anger flashed across her face. What's the verdict? Fuck him. "Guilty as charged, officer, or should I call you Your Honor since you're quick to judge?" She threw the watch at him. "I'm knocked up."

Rick caught it and stuck it hastily in his pocket. "I'm sorry, Mandy. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I'm not judging you."

"Doesn't matter," she mumbled tiredly and tried to shove past him. "Nothing matters anymore."

"That's not true. Mandy, don't go." He grabbed her arm. "We need to talk."

"I'm tired, Rick. So unless you have something new to say…"

"Damn it. Just listen to me." Their eyes met. Hers were red-rimmed from crying but still Dixon hard. "Please."

Amanda pulled her arm free and crossed them. "Fine. Talk."

"Why don't you sit down?" He nodded to the chair she just vacated.

Amanda glared at him and replied stubbornly, "Thanks, but I'll stand."

"Fine." He relented and ran his hands resignedly through his hair and leaned against the bunk. "Mandy, you need to take better care of yourself."

"Why do you care?" Her words sounded childish but it didn't matter to her. That was the first thing that came to her mind and in true Dixon fashion, she said it.

Rick closed his eyes trying to gather his patience like he did with Carl. "Because I care about you." It was the truth and it hurt to see her in pain but he couldn't fix it.

"You care?" Her voice was full of hurt and anger. "I thought you loved me. You said you did."

Shit. "I do love you, Mandy, but you were awfully quick to take up with Martinez." Rick's head wasn't in the right place at the time and he didn't realize how vulnerable she was but he was surprised and more than a little hurt that she had turned to the other man so easily.

"He was there for me when you weren't," she replied sorrowfully.

She was right. He didn't heed Daryl's warning and the other man stepped right in to his place. "I'm sorry about that, Mandy."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Rick. I needed you!" Amanda burst into tears. "I needed you and you weren't there. I know I can't count on you to be there for me now either because I'm fucking pregnant and I don't want to be but there's not a damn thing I can do about so I'm going to do what it takes to get through this." Although she promised herself that she wouldn't cry in front of him, the sobs came in waves.

Rick blocked her exit from the cell and pulled her down to the bunk with him. He wrapped his arms around her shaking form and gently rocked her. He wished he had the words to comfort her. He closed his eyes and breathed in the essence of her. Memories of happier times rushed in trying to convince him they might be able to work this out but he would have to convince himself as well as her for that to happen.

Her sobs subsided and she moved out of his arms just enough to see his face. He opened his eyes to see Amanda looking earnestly up at him. "But, the thing is, Rick," she started hesitantly when she could talk again with a steady voice. "Even if I wasn't pregnant now, I'm pretty sure I would want to have a baby one day." She sniffled, wiped her face on her shirt and continued with just a glimmer of hope, "These walkers can't be around forever. They'll have to die out. Have you noticed how skeletal they are compared to the first time you saw them?"

He did notice that but he also noticed that the numbers seemed to be increasing and he was betting there were more walkers than humans existing on the earth now. "You're thinking too far ahead, Mandy. Let's get you through this pregnancy first."

"I know, Rick, but I can't help the way I feel," she insisted, placing her small hand on his forearm.

God, how he missed her touch. He covered her hand with his larger one, not wanting her to take it away from his skin. "Give it some time, sweetheart. Wait and see how things play out before you decide."

She stiffened in his arms. "How things play out? You mean if I survive, don't you?"

He looked at her and nodded sadly. Why couldn't she face the truth? Amanda wasn't here when he lost Lori. She didn't realize how devastating the loss had been not only to him and Carl but to the whole group…and Judith would never know her mother.

Amanda stood up. Looking down at him she said, "You have Carl and Judith. You know what it is to be a parent, to have that unconditional love for another human. I want that too," she admitted.

"Honey, without adequate medical care there is always going to be the chance that you or any baby you may carry won't survive."

"What if we do?" she countered, stubbornly.

"Mandy. I love you. I truly do but I don't want to have another baby," he explained explicitly. "With the limited medical care, just getting sick or injured can be life-threatening to my children. The gut-wrenching fear is almost unbearable because I am helpless to do a damn thing. And what about the walkers? We are all in danger of being torn apart by these things. Judith is walking now. What happens if she wanders off?" He stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. He had to make her understand. "Honey, unconditional love comes with mind-numbing fear and a sense of helplessness when you have no control over the well-being of those you love."

Amanda gripped his forearms. "Then what do we have to live for, Rick? There has to be more than just survival. If not, there's nothing in our future. It's human nature to want a family and we can build a life around that since taking the career route is out of the question for now."

He dropped his arms to his sides letting her hands slip away. "I'll do whatever I can to help you, Amanda, but…"

"But?" she snorted. "But what, Rick?"

"Mandy, what the hell do you want from me?" he asked with exasperation.

"I want you to still love me like you did before! I want you to ask me to move in with you again."

Rick looked away from her and stared at the floor.

"That's what I thought." She rushed out of the cell, biting her lip to keep from crying again.

"Wait!" He ran after her and grabbed her around the waist pulling her against him. "Don't leave like this, honey."

"Let me go!" she cried. "There's nothing else to say."

"Take your fuckin' hands of my daughter right now." Merle's voice was low and menacing. He had heard Amanda's voice from the dining area. He had a feeling she was talking to that bastard Grimes. No one else seemed to upset her like that prick did.

Rick held his hands up but didn't step back. "Dixon, this is between me and Mandy." Amanda ran out of the cell block.

"She ain't wantin' to talk to ya now, Officer Rick, so back off," he growled.

Rowan gripped Merle's arm tightly hoping she could keep him from attacking the ex-cop. "C'mon Merle. She's gone," she said tugging at his powerful left forearm. "Please, sweetheart. Let it go."

He exhaled loudly and Rowan loosened her grip slightly when she felt the tension in his muscles relax.

"Alright," he muttered not taking his ice cold eyes off the other man "I told ya before, stay away from my daughter. I ain't gonna warn ya again."

Amanda wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath. To say that her talk with Rick didn't go as well as she would have liked would be an understatement of the greatest magnitude. She really thought, or hoped, he would say he was wrong and that it didn't matter to him that she was pregnant because love conquers all. Well that was obviously bullshit. Love doesn't conquer a damn thing. The cynical Dixon in her knew better but the little girl inside still wanted to believe in happy endings, even in the middle of an apocalypse. Fuck him, fuck love, and fuck this fucking apocalypse!

She peeked in Caesar's cell. He was lying on his side, sleeping with his back to the door. He must be getting a nap in before his watch later. She really wanted to talk to him. Disappointed, Amanda started to leave.

"Hey, baby," he said sleepily, rolling on his back and propping up on his elbows. "Where you going?"

"I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized, though she was glad he was up.

"I need to get up soon, anyway." He stretched and yawned and then patted the mattress beside him. "Lay down with me for a minute."

She went to him, sliding easily into his arms. She settled her head comfortably on his shoulder. "You never said you had a wife and kids." She didn't know anything about his previous life. He never talked about it and she never asked. Now, she felt guilty about it.

Caesar had locked the memories away just to keep going. As bad as the loss of his sisters was, that of his wife and kids was more than he could handle. He thought that he had secured their memory away until he'd seen the pregnancy test and then it all flooded back in. He and his wife had impatiently waited together when she took one. They both were elated with the positive results. He let out a shuddering breath. "Hurts too much. What those things did to them."

"I'm so sorry, Caesar." Amanda snuggled closer and hugged him tightly. "I've been selfish."

"Shhh." He stroked the delicate skin on back of her neck with his rough fingers. Her dark curls tickled the back of his hand. "You didn't know. Nothing to be done about it now except to keep killing those things until there's none left."

Amanda worked her hand in between the buttons of his shirt to flatten her palm against the slow and steady beat of his heart. "I'm pregnant," she said just loud enough for him to hear.

Martinez had hoped that the test was negative for her sake and that she wasn't carrying that monster's baby. Only he knew the true extent of the biological father's madness and he would do everything in his power not to let Amanda find out. Curving his hand around the back of her neck, he gently caressed the sensitive flesh. He wanted to tell her he was sorry because he really was but it was less likely that she'd go back to Grimes now, knowing that she was pregnant. "Did you tell Rick?"

Amanda nodded, buried her face in his shoulder and started crying.

She still loved the fuckin' bastard. "I'm sorry, babe." Caesar pulled her tight against him running his hand down her back, fingers lightly rolling over the prominent ridges of her spine. She was much too thin. She needed to eat more, especially now. He needed to find some prenatal vitamins for both her and Rowan.

"I'm scared, Caesar," she admitted, tearfully. "I mean I was pretty sure I was but I still held out hope that I wasn't."

He cupped her cheek rubbing the smooth, damp skin with his thumb. "I know you are, babe, but I told you before, you're not alone. You have your dad and your uncle." He paused a moment and added, "And you have me."

"Sure you want to take on my problems?" she asked, doubt lacing her trembling voice. "There's still time to crawfish."

"Crawfish? What the hell does that mean?" Caesar raised his head up to look at her.

"It means back out because crawfish walk backwards...oh shut up." She slapped his chest when she felt him shake with laughter.

"I don't wanna crawfish." He tilted her chin up to place a small kiss on the tip of her nose. "Crawfish? Sounds kinda stupid."

"Hey, are you making fun of me?" Amanda asked with mock anger.

He chuckled. "No baby, I forget you weren't raised in Georgia." His tone became serious. "You know the baby doesn't have to be a problem, Amanda."

"What does this mean for us?"

"I meant what I said before; it doesn't change anything for me. I still want you. I guess maybe my fear that you'll go back to Grimes has lessened some."

She laid her head on his chest and asked, "Why would I go to him?" He rejected me. Again. But…if he did ask, would she go? Her Dixon pride said no way in hell but her heart had no pride at all.

"Because you love him and he loves you," Caesar stated matter-of-factly, bringing his broad hands around to rest comfortably on her back.

"It doesn't matter." Howmany times would she have to tell herself that…until she was convinced? "He can't handle my shit."

Martinez kissed on the top of her head and chuckled softly. "You think I can handle your shit?"

"At least, you're willing to try," Amanda answered, working her hand back into his shirt.

His chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh, "Yeah, I am, baby, but your shit doesn't scare me half as much as the fact that I think you're gonna break my heart."

Amanda slanted her head back to look at him. "I never want you to feel that way, baby." She removed her hand from his shirt to bring his head to her and kissed his lips tenderly. She slid over his body and sat back on his thighs, locking her gaze on his, unsure of how he would respond to her next statement. "Rick doesn't want me, Caesar. It's as simple as that."

He didn't look away but rested his hands on her hips, thumbs drawing lazy circles on the bare skin just above her waistband and under her shirt. "I can't help but think he'll change his mind." Maybe not now but one day he'll realize what a fool he was for letting her go. The man would be an idiot if he didn't.

"I told Rick that if I wasn't pregnant, I'd still want to have a baby one day. That didn't sit well with him." She watched him carefully but his expression remained neutral.

Selfish bastard. Besides, when a woman decides she wants to have a baby there's usually no way to change her mind. "Okay."

That was a noncommittal reply. She wanted more of an answer than that. She wanted to know exactly how Caesar felt about it. "That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say, babe?"

"I thought you would say it wasn't a good idea, because of your own kids…" It would only be natural for him to feel that way after their loss.

A faraway look clouded his eyes and he was silent for a moment while he gathered his thoughts. "There is nothing more devastating than losing a child. You can't imagine the depth of the pain that never goes completely away," Caesar's voiced cracked. "You learn how to live with it." Or you don't survive. He swallowed hard and continued with a steadier voice, "But I don't think I want to go through the rest of my life without having another family." They could be a family. Amanda, him, and her baby…their baby. He needed to think of the baby as his.

"Would you want to have a baby…with me…if I make it through this pregnancy?" Amanda wondered out loud.

"I would, but I'm going to leave that decision up to you." Caesar smiled softly at her. "I'll be a daddy to this baby, if you want me to."

Amanda knew she couldn't do it alone. She wasn't strong enough especially in the darkness of the night when everything was quiet and nightmares still threatened to haunt her if she closed her eyes. Caesar's slow and steady heartbeat coupled with his even breathing lulled her to sleep while his easy and calm demeanor helped keep her ghosts at bay.

She was grateful for his friendship and his support. Tears welled in her eyes and she smiled back at him, nodding. In a small voice, she said, "I'd like that very much."

Martinez pulled her down to his hard, muscled chest and covered her mouth with his hungrily. That's what he'd been waiting for. For her to choose him and he would do everything he could to make her forget about the baby's father and wonder why she ever fell in love with Grimes in the first place.

Merle Dixon entered Cell Block B bellowing, "Daryl? Ya in here?" He banged the barred door open loudly.

"Damn it, Daddy! People are trying to sleep here." His daughter rubbed her eyes as she padded barefoot out of Martinez's cell. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's dinnertime, Ladybug." He eyed her sharply but didn't say anything else.

"I'll get something later," she replied and headed back toward the cell.

Merle was gonna start on his fatherly duties right now. "Ya need to eat now. Ya look like shit."

"It's been a rough day, Daddy," she said watching the emotions flicker quickly across her father's face as his gaze went from Caesar's cell to her face. Amanda rolled her eyes. "We were napping and if we were doing something else, it'd be none of your business."

He bit his tongue and ignored her remarks with more than a little difficulty. "Ya seen Daryl?" he grunted.

"No, I'm not your brother's keeper."

Merle heard a snort from the cell. "Shut up, Martinez."

Caesar came out of his cell smiling at his grumpy friend, tucking his gun in the back of his pants. He kissed Amanda on the cheek and told her he'd see her later. He turned to Dixon. "Time for watch. If you need me you know where to find me." He put his hat on and left.

Merle turned to his daughter, expression softening for her. "How ya doing, Ladybug?"

"As well as can be expected, I guess" she answered, pushing her tousled curls behind her ears.

He nodded. He didn't know why he asked. He didn't know what to say to her. Even more than before, he hoped to get a shot at the Governor on this trip. He wanted to watch the man die for what he had Crowley do to his daughter.

"Ya movin' in with Martinez?" he asked, wincing as soon as he heard the words leave his mouth. Aww shit, now she's got her back up.

"Is that gonna be a problem, Daddy?" Amanda asked, eyes already flashing, ready for a fight.

Well, she wasn't getting one from him. Not this time. No man would ever be good enough for his daughter but Martinez was a hell of a lot better choice than Grimes. "Just askin', Baby Girl, that's all."

"Probably," she answered, sounding almost disappointed that her daddy didn't oppose her decision.

"Grab your shoes, Ladybug, and I'll walk with ya to dinner."

Daryl doubled and tripled checked the truck he and Merle were taking tomorrow. Gas tank was full, guns and ammo, in the back, everything was ready. When he looked up from the bed, he saw Beth heading his way. He couldn't help but smile a little. Her ponytail bounced as she walked and there was a slight sway to her hips that was much better viewed when she was walking away.

"Hey darlin'," he greeted her when she reached him. Beth grabbed his head and pulled him down into a smoldering kiss. Damn! He was almost too startled to worry if anyone else was around. It wasn't a secret anymore but old habits die hard and he still wasn't comfortable making out in public. However, with the number she just pulled on him, he briefly thought about tossing her into the bed of the truck for a little more than kissing. Too bad it was packed with supplies for the road.

When Beth finally released him, he was breathless. "What's that all about, sugar? Not that I'm complaining or anything."

Beth placed her palms flat on his chest and looked in his eyes. Her big blue eyes were wide and damned if they weren't filling up with tears. "Please be careful tomorrow. Come back to me."

Shit. He hoped she didn't start crying. He wasn't leaving until the morning anyway. "Plannin' on it, Angel."

"Don't do anything stupid." Like fall down a ravine and get stabbed by your own arrow.

He raised his brows. Why would she say that? "Usually don't."

"Daryl," she pursed her pink lips. "It's just that I worry about you when you're gone."

She was so pretty, he thought only half-listening to her words because he was concentrating on her sexy mouth. He didn't want her to worry or cry though. Daryl pulled her roughly against his chest kissed her as passionately as she had kissed him. She was flushed and a little unsteady on her feet when he tore himself away from her sweet lips. "Please, wait for me, Beth, darlin'."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, confused. She had made it clear that he was the only one for her.

"Don't take up with Carl while I'm gone." He almost didn't get the words out before he started laughing.

"Ohh…you…" Flustered, she shoved him away and Daryl fell back against the truck, chuckling. There were all kinds of choice names Beth learned from Merle and even Daryl himself that ran through her mind right now but she still couldn't bring herself to say any of them. She slapped at him clumsily but the agile man rolled easily away and grabbed her as she stumbled past him.

"Don't be mad, Beth, I was just teasin'." He sat her on the tailgate and stood between her legs placing his hands on her shoulders. This time his kiss was tender and sweet and she finally responded in kind.

The blonde girl slid her hands up his chest and around his neck. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you, Daryl Dixon," she said softly against his lips.

Daryl assured her, "I'm good at what I do. Ain't nothin' gonna happen to me." The concern in her pretty blue eyes was evident and it touched him more than he was willing to admit even to himself. He wasn't used to have anybody besides his brother give a damn about his well-being.

She nodded and put on a brave face. "Come on in. Dinner's ready. Rowan made your favorite stew. Better hurry before Oscar eats it all."

Amanda shoved the half-empty bowl away from her. If she ate another bite she would vomit. News spread fast at the prison and if anyone else tried to force her to eat more she would throw that bowl at them.

Rick was conspicuously absent from dinner and Beth sat in his place trying to help Judith get the food in her mouth but the little girl was determined to get it anywhere but her there. She wanted to play in the lovely stew so painstakingly prepared by Rowan.

Merle cleared his throat and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I wanna go over this list and make sure we ain't forgettin' anythin'."

Amanda watched as he held the list at the end of his extended arm and squinted as he tried to focus. "Rowan, hand my old man a pen so he can add reading glasses. Write it big. Really big. " A few hushed snickers swept down the table.

"Shut up Ladybug," he growled. "Don't need no damned glasses."

Rowan snagged the list from his hand. "We need to get this done before morning, old man," she teased.

"I'll show you old, girlie," he warned and must have grabbed her because she squealed and bumped the underside of the table almost knocking the cups over.

"Merle!" she admonished, trying to hold back a grin. She looked him up and down and said, "I bet you'd look sexy in glasses."

He shrugged. "If that's what turns ya on, baby doll, I'll be more than happy to wear some to bed. Ya can pretend to be the naughty librarian and I'll be…"

"Stop!" Amanda demanded before her daddy went any further. "You're gonna make me throw up."

"Me too," Daryl piped in, with a mouth full of food.

Rowan started reading the list before her lover decided to say anything else embarrassing. "One potty chair for Princess Judith."

The little girl squealed at the sound of her name. "Fuck!"

"Judith! You have to stop saying that." Beth scolded her a little too gently for the baby girl to take much notice.

Rowan scanned over the basics. "Any baby items, formula, diapers, bottles, clothing. Prenatal vitamins. Acne cream?" She looked at Carl who turned red but nodded. Rowan glanced at the last item then folded the paper. "That's about it."

"No, it ain't. I saw one more thing, darlin'. Gimme that." Merle grabbed the list and held it out of her reach and read, "Condoms. Hmpf. Doesn't say who for?"

"I'm sure it doesn't matter," Rowan replied quickly, trying to keep Merle from noticing what she did.

"Course it does, girl. Chinaman gonna need a different size than Oscar. Could be my brother. Looks like his chicken scratch. Did you add this to the list, Darylina?" Merle rubbed his stubble thoughtfully.

If he needed condoms, he sure as hell wouldn't write it on no damn list. "Shut the fuck up, Bro. I don't need no list to help me remember what to get, old man," Daryl answered, shoveling another spoonful of the delicious stew in his mouth. He had to give it to the girl, Rowan could cook some mighty fine food. They usually didn't get much to eat on the road and he wasn't about to leave hungry.

Merle studied the paper carefully. "Looks like the same handwriting as the acne…Damn!" He noticed the boy who was trying to slip away undetected. What the hell did he want condoms for? Dixon folded the list and stuck it back in his pocket, smirking. Looked like Officer Rick was gonna have a little more shit piled onto his plate.

Beth didn't miss Merle's slip of the tongue. She turned to give Daryl her I-told-you-so look but he was lost in his third bowl of stew. He didn't even catch what his brother said. Carl wanted condoms!? Someone was going to have to talk to that boy.

Merle lay on the bunk watching Rowan get ready for bed. It amused him that she was still modest. Maybe it had something to do with the limited privacy of the prison. She unfastened her bra and pulled it off through the armhole of her camisole. She stepped out of her cargo pants and into some cute little sleep shorts that hugged her fine ass. The faint swell of her belly was barely visible. But any change was noticed by him for he knew her body so well.

Rowan pulled a brush through her long black hair then swung it over her shoulder. She smiled when she caught him watching her. Not that he tried to hide it. Merle placed his damaged arm across her hand when she leaned down to blow out the candle that sat on the small table by the bed. "Don't. I wanna see ya," he said, voice thick with passion.

She sat on the edge of the bunk and he rolled on his side placing his arm on her belly. It was hard to imagine a little Merle growing in there. It was gonna be a boy. He just knew it. Merle Dixon, Jr.

Rowan stroked his stubbled cheek and asked softly, "Why are you smiling?"

He looked up at her beautiful face, so kind and gentle, at least when she wasn't giving him shit about something. She took his breath away. Goddamn it. He fuckin' loved her. It took the end of the world for him to realize there was such a thing as real love for a woman. He turned his head to kiss her palm. He wanted to tell her but he couldn't get the words past the lump in his throat.

"Merle…" Her brow furrowed as she watched as his steely blue eyes become guarded. Rowan knew he struggled with revealing his true feelings because he had been hiding those most of his life. She wanted him to know it was ok. No one here would use them against him or see him as weak.

Merle never talked about his childhood which she could only assume was horrific because of the extensive network of scars that crossed his back. He never spoke of them either. She had asked, once, when they first arrived at the prison. His angry, defensive reaction scared her so bad that she never asked again. She wasn't afraid of him now but she would wait for him tell her in his own time, if he wished.

Without a doubt, Rowan loved this rough-around-the-edges redneck that she would have never looked at before the world fell apart around her. Merle never said it back to her but she knew he loved her too, just in his own way.

Merle reached for the raven-haired mother of his baby and pulled her down to the bunk beside him. He leaned over kissed her tenderly. He wanted to forget about everything. He wanted to blow off the fuckin' run tomorrow and spend the day in bed with her but the only way to keep his family safe was to eliminate the threat of the Governor.

"Take off your clothes for me, Baby Doll," he ordered, gruffly, nipping at the corner of her jaw before leaning back to watch.

Rowan pulled the white cami over her head and let it fall to the floor beside the bed. Candlelight flickered across her perfect full breasts. She was so fuckin' beautiful and she wanted him. She loved him. She was his.

"More," he said, tugging lightly on the waistband of her flowered shorts.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and slid them, together with her panties, down her legs and dropped them on the floor with the cami. Rowan stretched her legs out, never taking her eyes off of Merle's face. He was looking at her body like he was seeing it for the first time even though it had to be the hundredth.

"Are you going to show me what an old man can do?" She challenged with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Hell, yeah, girl," Merle answered with a wide grin and moved on top of her. "Ya better hold on."

Rowan wrapped her arms around his head and arched her body into him. Her long legs automatically went around his hips and she pulled him close. He twisted his hand in her long hair and eased her head back to plunder the sensitive hollow of her throat and proceeded to show her how much he loved her the only way he knew how.

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