Amanda lay in Caesar's bunk and attempted to fall asleep while he was on watch. She tried to comfort herself with the scent of him that lingered on the sheets but it wasn't enough. She needed his presence, his warmth, to keep the ugly things away. The others inhabitants of Cell Block B, her daddy, Rowan, Daryl, and Beth, had already settled in for the night. The only sound she heard was that of her own breathing.

The small oil lamp cast long flickering shadows on the concrete walls that surrounded her on three sides. Amanda had never been afraid of the dark, not until Crowley put that bag over her head in Woodbury. He tied it around her neck and she thought she would suffocate. Now, the pitch black beckoned her nightmares and taunted her every night when she closed her eyes. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep here alone. She sat up and turned on the small pink flashlight Caesar gave her and extinguished the oil lamp. She made her way to her own cell where she put on her shoes and a long sleeve shirt. Grabbing her pillow and blanket, Amanda headed to the guard tower.

Rick Grimes lay on his bunk with his arms crossed behind his head second guessing just about every decision he'd made since the group had left the farm. He was certain that he made the right decision in letting Amanda go until he found himself once again, awake and alone. She could have been here with him now, she practically begged him, and all he had to do was say the word. And he didn't. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to convince himself he made the right decision not only for himself but for the group. With fewer distractions he could be a better leader.

The sound of soft footsteps alerted Rick to someone roaming the corridor just outside his cell block. In the middle of the night there was usually only one person up. Amanda. She was heading to the locked prison door that led to the outside.

"Shit," she cursed, realizing she had no way out. She kicked the locked metal door. "Ouch! Shit!"

He sighed and sat up. "Can't sleep?"

"Damn it Rick!" She sank against the door, hugging her pillow and blanket. "You scared the shit outta me!"

"Sorry, hon- Mandy." Not honey. Not anymore.

"Can you please let me out?" she asked reluctantly.

"Yeah, let me get my shoes on," he said, slipping his feet into his shoes.

Amanda replied impatiently, "I just need you to open the door, Rick."

"You're not going out in there in dark by yourself," he said wearily, rising from his bunk and picking up the ring of keys from the bedside table.

"I have a flashlight," she said deliberately shining it in his eyes. She sighed and leaned against the wall when he didn't react. "I didn't think it would be this much trouble."

"It's no trouble, Mandy." He brushed past her and unlocked the door, but before she could step out, he shut it again.

"What the hell, Rick?" Confused, she turned around to look up at him.

"I wasn't done talking earlier, when your dad interrupted."

"I'm done. Now get out of my way please. I'm tired and I'm through talking." Amanda turned away from him resting her head on the cool metal door. She felt him move in behind her, his lips just inches away from her ear.

"Good. Then you can listen." His tone brooked no argument.

The heat emanating from his body that was too close to hers invaded her senses and her resolve began to waver. All she had to do was turn around…

"Don't you ever think I don't want you because of what happened in Woodbury. Or because you carry that bastard's baby," he said adamantly, his warm breath caressed her ear sending a shiver down her spine.

Amanda grabbed the doorknob but his large hand covered hers, stilling it. He was too fucking close. She squeezed her eyes shut. "Please…"

"I'm not done," he said gruffly. "I'm letting you go not because I want to but because I have to."

She fought down the sob that caught in her throat. Oh God, Please make him stop.

"My mind gets so twisted around you that I can't think straight. I can't keep my kids safe, the group, or you, Mandy," Rick confessed, his voice was thick with emotion.

She lost the fight and the sobs escaped. "Please stop."

"I have to step back," he told her.

She frantically tried to turn the knob but his hand closed tighter over hers. "I'm not through."

She didn't want to hear anymore. She couldn't. She would fall apart…break into a million tiny pieces that could never be put together again.

His voiced deepened and threatened to crack but he swallowed hard. "Don't you ever for one moment think that I don't love you." Rick eased up the pressure on her hand and she jerked the door open and stumbled out.

Amanda started to run for the tower but she couldn't show up crying. Fuck! Why couldn't he have kept his fucking mouth shut? Nothing he said made things easier. In fact, his words only complicated matters. Fuck him. He was watching her now. With those fucking beautiful blue eyes and she wanted to hate him but she couldn't.

Dixons don't cry. Dixons don't cry. Dixons don't cry. Fuck! It wasn't working. This Dixon had been crying for three fucking months. Enough! She steeled herself and gulped in a few shaky breaths. "Don't supposed you have a tissue?"

"I can get you something from inside," he offered.

"Don't bother," she said, sniffling loudly and wiping her face with her hands.

"Everything okay down there?" Caesar called from the guard tower.

Rick looked at Mandy and she nodded. "Fine, Martinez. Amanda's on her way." He had to stop himself when he almost put his hand on the small of her back. It was so hard not to touch her. He stuck his hands in his pockets. They walked in silence until they reached the tower. She headed up the steps without a word or backward glance.

Caesar took her hand when she reached the top and planted a friendly kiss on her lips. "This is a nice surprise, babe. What's wrong?" Her bloodshot eyes and blotchy face didn't escape notice. Fucking Grimes! He wanted to hurt the fucker. Beat the shit out him. Tell him to leave her the fuck alone. He didn't know how long he could keep swallowing his pride but beating the shit out of Grimes would most likely get him kicked out of the prison and this was the best place for him to keep her safe. Fuck!

"Couldn't sleep," Amanda said, hugging him around the waist. He was so warm and safe. Uncomplicated. Caesar held her tight in his strong arms and kissed the top of her head. She inhaled the clean outdoorsy scent of him and began to relax just a little. Rising on her toes, she kissed him. He ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth and she let him in, meeting his tongue hungrily with hers. Just to survive, she had to make herself forget about Rick. She worked her hands under his shirt and over the hard muscles of Caesar's back.

He groaned and tore himself away from her lips, wishing his watch duty was over so he could take her back to his cell and continue this. "I have a few more hours before Glenn and Maggie will relieve me." He gestured to the chaise. "Make yourself comfortable, baby. I'll wake you, when they get here."

The Dixon brothers were each lost in their own thoughts as Daryl drove along a deserted back road in the direction of Woodbury. The sky was overcast and dreary, a perfect setting for the dark mood they were both in. Merle tried to concentrate on the task at hand but couldn't get his daughter's desolate form out of his mind. She was too thin and too fragile to be carrying a child.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He slammed his fist against the dash which earned him a sharp look from his younger brother. He hated feeling helpless. The only thing he could do for his baby girl was to make sure she ate and that she was safe. He was so afraid that he would lose her. It would fucking kill him.

Merle didn't have the same fears for Rowan, at least not to the extent he had for his Lady Bug. Sure, Rowan was thin, hell they all were, but for the most part she seemed healthy and happy and had been plagued with minimal morning sickness. Damn, he was going to have a baby and a grandbaby at the same fucking time, God willing. He shook his head at that thought. Never in his sorry life had he thought he would have a real family, at least not one that consisted of more than his baby brother. Unfortunately, Merle didn't invest much effort in caring for Amanda when she was younger and he regretted it dearly. He vowed to make it up to her now by being the daddy she deserved. He would do everything in his power to make sure both women stayed healthy and alive and the first step on that path was to take the fucking Governor out.

Daryl didn't realize how hard it would be to leave a teary-eyed Beth behind. Shit, he got fuckin' soft and didn't know it until he saw her sad face. He ain't never had trouble leaving for a run or hunting trip before. Still, he smiled to himself, she was worth it. His angel had worked her way into a heart that he wasn't sure he had anymore. She was pretty and sweet and she really cared about him, like no one else had before. He had more to live for than just plain survival. His entire living family was together at the same place at the same time. Not just his brother and niece, but Beth and the whole group. He considered them all a part of his family, well, maybe not Martinez. He didn't consider him anything.

Leaving Possum behind was almost harder than leaving Beth. Lord, when she kissed him on the cheek and told him to be safe...he could count her fuckin' ribs when he hugged her. He and Merle were gonna have to scare up some game. They needed to build a smokehouse to preserve some meat for the winter. They were also gonna need some heat, as well. There was so much fucking shit to do that he didn't see why they had to go after this Governor except Merle assured him that if they didn't, the man would eventually find the prison and kill them all, even the children. What kind of sick bastard would do that? The same kind that would have his niece tortured just to find their location...

Daryl just found out his morning that Possum more or less moved in with Martinez. Fuckin' hell, he couldn't believe it. Not that Grimes was any better right now. Rick needed to get his act together and fast, not only for the group, but for his kids as well. But at least Daryl trusted Rick. Martinez was a hard worker, good shot, and didn't flinch at doing the dirty work but something still nagged the younger Dixon about the man. He wasn't entirely sure Merle trusted him either even though he said he did. He caught his brother watching Martinez on more than one occasion, like he was trying to figure something out but when Daryl brought it up, Merle just shrugged him off.

Merle was quiet this morning, too quiet, and that usually meant he was in a black mood. He knew he was worried about Possum and Rowan although he didn't say anything. He hoped his older brother would get his head in the game by the time they reached Woodbury. They couldn't afford to make any mistakes.

Daryl drove the old truck off the road and out of sight. According to Merle, they couldn't be too cautious when it came to avoiding the Governor. The two brothers walked the rest of the way to the walled-off town, about five miles by the older Dixon's estimation. They kept to the shadows. The wall appeared to be mostly manned by women and teenagers.

"Governor's out," Merle whispered to Daryl. Did he want to sneak in and lie in wait for the bastard? Yeah, he did, but that wasn't a wise move. No telling how long the man would be out. He rarely told anyone his plans, except Milton. Could he "force" the information out of Milton? Sure, in about two seconds but only if the little man knew something. Maybe Blondie…Hell, that bitch was tougher than Milton. She wouldn't say anything if she thought it would endanger Woodbury. He wondered if she'd been privy to the Gov's true colors yet. If she had, she'd probably already high-tailed it out of there, if she was still alive.

He signaled for Daryl to head back. They kept their eyes and ears open and mouths closed. If the Governor wasn't at Woodbury, he was out here somewhere. Near or far, there was no way of telling but an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his gut.

When they were back in the truck, Daryl asked. "Now what, Merle?"

"Ain't sure. Don't like it though." The older Dixon, replied. He couldn't put his finger on it but something wasn't right.

Daryl chewed on his thumb. "We get supplies or head back?"

They really needed the supplies. Besides, no one but Martinez new this was anything other than a routine supply run. "See any tracks while we were out there, Baby Bro?"

"Nothing fresh," he answered looking out the window.

Merle closed his eyes. "Fuck, whaddya think?" He had really wanted to get a shot at that psychopath. Finish him off once and for all.

"There's a wooded area up ahead a few miles…might find some game. This whole area's 'bout hunted out." Daryl said, turning the key in the ignition.

"Alright then. Let's go."

"How'd ya sleep?" asked Caesar, as he walked with his arm Amanda's shoulders to his cell.

"Not bad. Not enough but not bad," she answered, leaning into him.

"Why don't you lay down with me? It's still early. You can get another hour or so."

The sun was just starting to rise and that didn't sound like a bad idea. Laundry could wait. Didn't look like they'd be able to hang it outside anyway, dark clouds were moving in.

"I think I just might do that," Amanda said, smiling up him. He bent his head to kiss her. She thought he looked tired. She was pretty sure he'd been up close to twenty-four hours.

She stroked his bearded cheek then sat down on his bunk, slipped her feet out of her sandals and under the light blanket. Propping up on her arm, she watched as he undressed. Just enough pale morning light filtered through the dirty barred windows of Cell Block B for her to see him. Caesar placed his weapons on the bedside table with a soft clink. He pulled off his shirt with a slight groan and placed it on the top bunk before sitting on the edge of the bunk to remove his boots.

He glanced at Amanda and smiled tiredly. "Thanks for staying with me."

"I wanted to," she said, laying her head down on the pillow.

Caesar stood up, stepped out of his jeans and folded them, putting them away on the top bunk with his shirt. She lifted the blanket for him to climb in beside her. He turned her away from him and curled his body protectively around hers, pulling her back against his chest and her hips against his boxer-clad ones. Amanda suddenly realized that not once during their intimate moments had he ever removed his pants.

Nervousness overtook her as Caesar pressed his hard muscled thighs along the back of her slender ones; the coarse hair was rough against her soft skin. Panic built up inside, starting at her stomach. Oh my God, she thought, I'm not ready for this. Not yet. He put an arm under his head and one over her, hand splayed firmly across her stomach above her waistband, one finger dipping underneath the fabric. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest. Oh God. The cool metal chain with a cross that he wore hidden in his shirt pressed into her back below her shoulder blade. He nudged her hair aside with his nose and tenderly kissed the back of her neck. "Goodnight, Amanda." A gentle wisp of his breath tickled the skin his lips just touched. He was already asleep.

She had really thought she was ready until she felt the length of his hard, almost naked body flush against hers. Amanda sighed with relief, thankful that he was too tired to do anything other than sleep. She closed her eyes, placing her hand over his larger one, relaxing into the safety of his embrace.

Merle and Daryl had been gone for two days and Amanda was trying hard not to worry. They were big boys who were very adept at taking care of themselves. Her daddy told her that they planned on hunting, in addition to the supply run. Still, she couldn't help worry about them. Besides, she missed her grumpy family. At least she had Caesar, although she hadn't been able to see much of him because they were all taking up the slack of the missing members. She was trying to eat better and actually had a little more energy so she gave Beth a break and helped out more with Judith. This morning, she had dressed the energetic little girl and they headed to breakfast.

Rick was already there and took his daughter from Amanda with a thank you. He had been cool yet friendly since their last encounter…since he told her that he still loved her. His words played over and over in her mind though she tried to make them stop. It would have been so much easier to hate him if he would have kept that bit of information to himself.

He had walked the fence line early so he could take an extra watch after breakfast and relieve Glenn and Maggie from their double shift. No one complained. They all looked forward to fresh game. Hopefully, the Dixon brothers would come through with some.

Amanda sat down by Rowan at the breakfast table and watched the other woman eat the disgusting instant oatmeal again. She didn't care much for oatmeal on a good day. Carol told her with a smile that she had a surprise for her, that it wouldn't take but a couple of minutes. Amanda certainly didn't mind waiting if it meant she wouldn't have to eat oatmeal. No one else seemed to mind the bland breakfast. Even Judith ate it without a fuss. Rick patiently fed his girl another spoonful while Amanda tried not to stare at them. He still loves me.

"Don't turn around," Oscar interrupted he thoughts, smiling from his seat across the table. Hershel was smiling too. What the hell was going on? It wasn't her birthday, at least according to Rowan's calendar, it wasn't.

She heard Carol's soft footsteps come up behind her. The short-haired woman sat a plate in front of Amanda. "Eat up, sweetie."

Amanda just stared at the dish before her, stunned. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Girl, if you don't eat that in the next few seconds, it ain't gonna be there," Oscar teased.

"An egg?" She looked back at Carol who was grinning from ear to ear.

Hershel laughed. "Did you forget what one looked like, Amanda? That old hen your daddy brought back last month finally decided to lay. Rick found the egg this morning. We took a vote and decided unanimously you needed it the most."

Tears pricked at her eyelids when she closed them. She was too emotional to speak. She felt like she was the least deserving of them all. She hadn't been pulling her own weight since her return from Woodbury. It was a pity egg! She burst into tears. She needed her daddy here to tell her that she was a Dixon and Dixons don't cry even though that was all she'd been doing these past three months. Dixon don't take pity eggs, either, do they?

Carol wrapped her arms around Amanda's shoulders. "Sweetie, we love you and we want you to get better. One egg wouldn't even make an appetizer for Oscar."

"It's true. I used to eat no less than six for breakfast," he boasted rubbing his washboard stomach.

"Don't make me force feed you, because I will." Rowan patted her hand. "Your daddy told me to make sure you ate, and I'll do it."

"Yes, Mom," she snorted through her tears.

Rowan smacked her hand with a laugh and a warning. "Don't you dare call me Mom!"

Amanda sniffled. "Thank you." All eyes were turned on her as her fork was poised over the delicacy. "Ya'll gonna watch me eat this?"

"Hell yeah, Amanda," Oscar answered. "We're all gonna live vicariously through you right now."

She unintentionally glanced at Rick, who nodded with a small smile. Even Judith was watching her.

"Here goes…" She cut of a bite-sized piece of the perfectly fried egg, delicately put it in her mouth and chewed. "Oh my God," Amanda said, almost hear her momma's voice nagging her for talking with her mouth full. She closed her eyes and savored it as long as she could. She took another bite and another until it was all gone. Applause and cheers sounded around the table and she bowed her head. "Thank you and I love you all."

Carol squeezed her shoulder. "Now, go out and get some fresh air and I'll send a snack out to you shortly."

A brisk breeze lifted the hair from the young blonde's face. The clouds kept the autumn heat contained and the temperature was actually bearable. She hummed to herself as she pulled a sheet off the line. She had to get everything down before the rain came.

"Hello, Beth." Carl appeared in front of her, hat in his hands.

She rolled her eyes. "Not now, Carl. I'm busy."

"I just wanna talk about the other day," he said earnestly following her.

"Well, I don't. Let's forget it ever happened." She struggled as the wind whipped a corner of the sheet out of her hands.

He stuck his hat under his arm, grabbed the other end and helped her fold it, making sure when they met in the middle with the corners their hands touched.

"Carl…" she warned sternly.

"C'mon Beth. What do you see in Daryl anyway? He's old enough to be your dad. You and I are only six years apart." The almost-teenage boy was trying to come up with any undesirable qualities his former friend might possess. Surely Beth couldn't have missed them. "And… and he's dirty and smelly. He hardly ever takes a bath…"

"Carl…" She said, the frustration clear in her voice even though she couldn't really argue with his reasoning. Those things were superficial.

"He has bad table manners." Carl's mom taught him that good manners were important and the Dixon brothers were severely lacking in that area although Amanda had impeccable ones. She was raised mostly by her mother so that explained why she didn't have the same rude traits like her dad and uncle.

Beth balanced the stack of folded sheets in her arms and sighed, "Carl Grimes, I'm with Daryl now and I plan to be with him forever." She turned sharply on her heel and headed back into the prison.

Carl put his hat back on his head and said with confidence as he walked off, "We'll see about that, Beth Greene." We'll just see about that.

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