Merle Dixon had barely slept the past three days and was dead on his feet but when he got to the cell he shared with Rowan, she wasn't there. Her pillow was gone. Fuckin' hell! He fucked up bad this time. Had she gone and left him? Without saying a goddamn word? Oh, hell no. As much as he hated to talk about relationship shit, she wasn't gonna leave him without with talkin'. Ain't nothing that can't be fixed, damn it!

Adrenaline coursed through his body in record time as he stomped off to find her. Merle was more awake now than he had been in the past few days. Damn it, he was furious but when it dawned on him that he wasn't so much mad at Rowan as he was at himself, he slowed his pace unconsciously. Merle Dixon was mad as hell at himself for being scared witless that she may actually be gone.

Wait one goddamn minute! He rubbed his face with left hand and slammed the wall with his right arm; a sharp pain shot from his missing hand straight to his shoulder. "Fuck!" he yelled, unable to rub the throbbing away due to the prosthetic covering. Calm down, Dixon. Get hold of yourself 'fore you run in, guns blazing, and do something truly stupid. Breathe, ya damned fool pussy. Eyes clenched, he inhaled then let his breath out slowly. He inhaled again filling his lungs with as much oxygen as he could before releasing it. Okay asshole, let's try this again.

He entered the dining area, nodded calmly to Hershel, who was sitting at the end of the long table reading the Bible in the fading light. He stuck his head in the kitchen; Carol and Martinez were finishing the dishes. Martinez' gaze met his and darkened to an angry black. The man didn't turn away from what Merle considered his most intimidating glare. He knew he was a tough son of a bitch but damn, he kind of expected him to…well he didn't know what but it wasn't to stare back at him with a death glare of his own. He'd have to watch his back now. No one was watching it but Daryl.

"Ya seen Rowan, Carol?" Merle asked, deliberately leaving out his former friend.

Carol looked towards him briefly not meeting his eyes. No one was. Not since he almost killed Martinez. Seemed if anyone was going get kicked out of the prison it was going be him. "I believe Rick said she and Amanda wanted to take this watch."

"What the fuck?" he muttered to himself. Watch? His daughter and girlfriend were on watch together. It took him half a second to process the information. "Fuck!" he exclaimed and stormed out of the kitchen toward the guard tower.

Rowan fished out the dill pickle and savored the crunch of the very last spear just as much as she did the first. "Mmmm," she said, sucking the salty juice from her fingers. She looked despondently into the empty jar and briefly thought about drinking the juice. She didn't mean to eat the whole thing in one sitting but once she started she couldn't stop. Oh well, at least she would have to worry about hiding them from the others. She sighed contentedly and pulled her long hair back, tying it into a knot behind her neck.

Merle had watched as she devoured the pickle. A satisfied smile played on her lips replaced by a frown as she realized it was the last one. The slight bump of his baby was hidden in the oversize sweater she wore but he could still see it in his mind.

Her slim naked body stretched out catlike on their bed holding his hand over her belly with hers. Come back to us, Merle Dixon, she told him before he and Daryl had left just a few days ago though it felt like a life time. She wouldn't let go of his hand until he promised.

He focused on that image to remind him what he didn't want to lose and forced the angry words away. Now was not the time for anger. Not after this morning's episode. "Tastes that good, huh?" a gruff voice interrupted the quiet.

Rowan yelped and whirled to see Merle standing at the top of the stairs with his arms crossed. "Shit, Merle! You scared the living daylights out of me!"

Amanda sat straight up in the chair and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "What are you doing up here, Daddy?"

"Ya girls ain't doing such a good job of keeping watch, are ya? I been standin' here a full minute and neither one of ya noticed." He kept his voice level and walked over to Rowan, tempted to steal a kiss to see if her lips tasted like pickles but half-afraid she would pull away. He couldn't bear that.

"Well…well…you shouldn't be sneaking up on us like that," she said defensively, willing herself not to step back from his imposing figure. He wasn't really that much taller than her but where he was broad she was slight.

"Ya think the Governor's gonna wait till your done eatin' to attack?" he asked with a calmness that belied the fear and anger that warred inside. Merle had never been scared for another person except Daryl until he found his daughter and this wisp of a woman who now carried his baby. Being scared like a little pussy made his angry. Made him vulnerable, weak, and he didn't like it one damn bit! Life in hell had been easier when it was just him and his brother. Now he had Rowan, his baby, Amanda, and his grandbaby to take care of…shit…he had a whole goddamn family and it would kill him if he let anything happen to them.

"Merle! That's not fair. It was pickles. Real dill pickles…"

"And pudding…chocolate pudding," Amanda added, trying to be helpful.

"Ain't no excuse," he reprimanded them both but tempered his words at the contrite faces looking back at him. Goddamn it. He was a pussy.

The two women looked appropriately ashamed. "You're right, Merle. There is no excuse. We'll do better," Rowan replied taking his large hand in both of hers and giving it a squeeze.

"Sorry, Daddy. We just got a little distracted." For a moment a vision of a young Ladybug with wild curls bouncing around her never-still six-year-old self grinned at the oldest Dixon, front tooth missing.

He shook the image away. "Gimme the binoculars," he demanded.

"It's too dark…"

"Just give em to me, girl," he repeated tiredly.

Rowan did and Merle quickly scanned the area. It really was too dark. He needed some damn night vision goggles like he had in Woodbury. He put the binoculars down in disgust. "Sit down, darlin' and I'll keep watch for awhile."

"Merle," she protested. "You need sleep more than me."

"I'm fine," he growled impatiently. "Can't sleep without ya so I might as well wait till Chinaman and his woman get here then we can go back together."

"I, uh…" Rowan looked away nervously.

"What?" Merle snapped.

"I don't know," she said softly.

"Ya leaving me?" he asked stone cold, all of his defenses slamming instinctually into place to hide his rapidly pounding heart and the icy fear that gripped his gut.

She still didn't look at him as she struggled for the right words. "I'm…uh…I…"

"Shit, Daddy," Amanda said with annoyance. "After that stunt you pulled on Caesar, she's afraid you might hurt her or the baby."

"Amanda!" Rowan exclaimed, utterly horrified that her friend would just blurt it out like that.

"Well that's what you said!" Amanda replied, full of self-righteous indignation.

"But I didn't want to…"

"Rowan, is that what you really think? That I'd hurt ya?" Dixon was cold and hard on the outside but inside he was crumbling. He knew it. He fucked up real bad this time. The fear was in her eyes. He saw it before she looked away. He clenched his fist to keep it from shaking.

She couldn't look at him. She was afraid to see his face when she said, "I don't know what to think, Merle."

"Darlin', I thought you knew how I felt about ya," his raspy voice softened as he raised his trembling hand to gently turn her chin to face him.

"I did, I mean I do but you really scared me, Merle," she confessed as a single tear escaped and trickled down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.

"You scared me too, Daddy," Amanda admitted.

"Fuck me!" he exclaimed under his breath, dropping his hand.

Deciding that she really didn't want to be in the middle of this discussion between her daddy and his girl friend, Amanda picked up her blanket and said, "Maybe I should go back in."

"Sit down! Ladybug!" He turned away from both women and closed his eyes. Get a hold of your goddamn rage, Dixon. He said a little softer with great restraint, "Ya ain't walkin' around in the dark by yourself, young lady, so sit down, close your mouth, and just pretend ya ain't here."

"Whatever you say, sir." Amanda slid her chair back into the darkest corner. "Is this better?" She bit her lip to keep from giggling. The sugar high from the four chocolate pudding cups hadn't worn off completely.

"Smart ass." Merle threw her a dirty look then turned back his woman. When he was figuring out what to say to her, before he came to the tower, he didn't take into account that his daughter would be an audience. Now, he was the one at a loss for words. Not so much at a loss for words but at a loss for the right words…the ones that would not send Rowan running away as fast as her feet could carry her. He could not fuckin' screw this up. It wasn't that he couldn't live without her. Merle Dixon didn't need anyone. He just didn't want to live without her.

Caesar lay back on his bunk and closed his eyes…eye to be precise since one was already swollen shut. Every part of his body ached and no matter how he shifted he couldn't get comfortable. He heard every creak, skittering feet, and groan of the prison. He absently wondered if the skittering feet were Amanda's kittens or rats. Maybe it was noise from some other animal altogether. Perhaps it was raccoons…or even possums. A smile barely tugged at one corner of his mouth, remembering the story Amanda had told him about mistaking possums for kittens when she was only four.

Damn, he grunted and rolled on his side. He was never going to fall asleep. He kept his eyes closed, though; the darkness was a comfort. For the first time in a very long time he recited his prayers hoping they would bring comfort and chase the discord in his mind away long enough for him to fall asleep.

He reached for his cross and remembered it was gone when his fingers gripped nothingness. It hung around Amanda's neck. At least it did last time he saw her...under the dinner table. Now his mouth formed a real smile. She was so cute scrabbling under the table after that "kitten". A lone curl had fallen from her messy bun and dangled over an eye. She blew it away but it stubbornly fell back into place as she took his hand and pulled herself up. His eyes immediately focused on the chain that had slipped out of her top while she was on the floor. Maybe there was still a chance for him. And with that thought, he imagined his arms around her small body as she snuggled against his side for the night and drifted to sleep.

Daryl snored softly as he slept face down on the mattress he shared with Beth. She, however, was wide awake and stared pensively at the ceiling of their tent. Their lovemaking was frantic and he slipped into deep slumber faster than usual. The young woman sighed. So this was what the phrase 'Wham, bam, thank you ma'am' means. To be honest, she wasn't even sure she got a 'thank you' before Daryl slid off of her and face-first into his pillow. He was exhausted from the supply run and subsequent gunfight. She knew that. When coupled with the added stress of his brother almost killing Caesar…who wouldn't be exhausted?

What was that about anyway? She thought Merle Dixon was okay with Caesar and his Amanda being together, or whatever they were. She liked Caesar well enough but Beth Greene knew in her heart that Amanda and Rick should be together. They loved each other. She knew she would find out what was going on soon enough since nothing stayed secret for long in the confines of the prison.

And who in the world was that woman they brought back? Daryl blew off her question when Beth asked him and mumbled something about her being 'just some crazy bitch from Woodbury.' Rick told Beth not to say anything to the prisoners. She thought that they were all polite enough and said thank you when she delivered their meals or water. They really didn't ask the young Greene woman much except when they heard Judith cry out. The younger prisoner, Sasha, asked if that was a baby she heard. Beth turned away and went back to her chores. She wasn't much of a liar and so it was easier for her to ignore any questions from the prisoners. She had a feeling they were just like them…the prison group…people just trying to survive.

Beth pursed her lips together and her brow furrowed as she pondered the thoughtfulness of the elder Dixon compared to the younger. Surprisingly, he had brought gifts for almost everyone: orphaned kittens for Amanda, a beautiful green sweater for Rowan, and a doll with long hair for Judith. Then he took Carl aside in a secretive manner and even gave him something...Beth gasped, her hand flew to her mouth. It better not be condoms! She shuddered at the thought of that little brat chasing her around or trying to bribe her with condoms. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to shake that mental picture from her brain and replace it with an image of her scruffy Daryl.

Daryl. Her eyes opened and she frowned with consternation. What did he bring for her? Nothing except his stinky, dirty, blood-caked self. And…for that, she was eternally grateful but still...she was a woman and she longed for a little something to show that he thought of her in a way other than sex, if he did. Did he? Of course he did. At least that is what Beth told herself. A rather loud snort from the oblivious man's prostrate form jarred her from those unpleasant thoughts and she turned to watch him sleep, seeing nothing other than the back of his head. They really needed to talk; more specifically, she needed to talk. She elbowed him hard in the ribs. He grunted, rolled over to his back, and proceeded to snore even louder. Beth let out a frustrated sigh and turned on her side away from him, wishing she could sleep so soundly.

You may have noticed the new opossum photo for this story. Yesterday, I found this little guy and another in the junk drawer in my kitchen. No worries though, son and husband carried them out in a bucket and let them go in the woods far from the house. How they got in is anyone's guess...my dogs and cats aren't fessing up.

Thanks to siarh for help with editing this chapter.

Also, thanks to all those still reading and especially reviewing! I love reviews and I'm not afraid to admit it so please drop a line and let me know that you are still there and what you think.

Happy reading!