Cas lay staring up at the ceiling, human and tired, but unable to sleep. The motel he was staying in was remarkably similar to all the ones he had shared with Dean and Sam. The only difference? He was alone. Cas blinked his blue eyes. Tired but unable to sleep. Lonely but without company. He only wanted Dean and Dean's ability to sooth him. Cas closed his eyes, willing himself to drop off. To fall into the unknown world of dreams, where, if he wished it, he could be with Dean.
He hadn't seen either Winchester brother since the night of The Fall of Angels. The world was in chaos. How do you explain to a world of humans that those strange lights, those strange falling people, are- were Angels of the Lord? And if they can't understand that then what do you tell them?
Cas' mind began to drift through all the terrible events of the last year and when he did fall asleep, it was a world of nightmares and horror he fell into.
He woke violently and, in a moment of panic, threw off the covers and stumbled out of the bed. His nylon shirt was clinging to him, soaked with sweat. He pressed his back against the cool wall, breathing heavily. Shutting his eyes he took a deep breath and attempted to calm himself down. Lights flickered behind his eyelids; the sight of his brothers and sisters falling from their home was imprinted in his mind. He had re-lived the moment Metatron had cut his grace out over and over trying to find a way out... Trying to find a way that he could have saved his brothers and sisters...
Thousands of miles away, Dean was also wide awake. He had gotten so used to Cas' presence that being without it was odd. Dean lay flat on his back staring at the cracked ceiling thinking about that night. He still had no idea what had happened. He didn't know where Cas was, he didn't know where all the angels were, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know. The list was endless. What he did know was that Cas was in trouble. He would have shown up by now if he wasn't. Dean had considered the possibility that Cas had been in Heaven when all the angels began to fall. Could Cas be human now?
This is what Dean is most afraid of. Not that Cas might be hurt, although he feared that too, but that they were headed down the road to 2014. Human Cas was one of the things to check off on the list. Could Lucifer and Michael escape the cage? Could it all begin again?
Dean still prayed to Cas at least twice a day and once at night. Cas had never shown though and this is what made Dean suspect his fall from grace.
Dean rolled over onto his side. Sam was asleep in the second bed, snoring peacefully. Dean smiled at his little brother, pleased that at least one of them could get some sleep. But after a second Dean's smile cracked and a small choked sob escaped his lips. A tear trickled down his face as Dean tried to stay quiet. He rolled over so he wasn't facing Sam and covered his face with his hands. The amount of times Dean had grabbed his phone, intending to call Cas if Cas even still had the phone, was too many to count. Each time, however, he couldn't bring himself to do it. No matter how much he needed to.
Thousands of miles apart. Both unable to fall asleep. Both needing the other. Both without the other.
"I need you." Both men whispered, in the dark of their motel rooms, alone, sad and wide awake.