A/N: Hey Team! I forgot to do this last chapter, but kudos to Aureaborealis for the EchoCaves/Pan'srevelation idea. So amazing.
And guys, this chapter, it's just… It took me all day but it was so worth it. I needed it to be what it is. I wish I could've done more, but it is what it is. It was pretty emotional for me.
One of the scenes was so beautiful that I immediately thought of this song. It's a poem put to music and it's so incredibly beautiful. I'd say listen to it while you're reading, but that's up to you, it's just so amazing and captures this chapter. It's called 'Weep no more'. If you type in 'Weep no more Andre Thomas' I found that to be the best version on YouTube.
But anyway, I hope you guys, not exactly enjoy it, but I hope you feel it as much as I did. xx
I'll Try
The night flew by faster than Indigo expected. Watching Neverland sleep from a rocky outcrop, she wrapped her arms around her legs and sat her chin upon her knees, at last coming to grips with a thousand years worth of regrets, and letting them go on the wind.
Indigo spent the moments before the dawn preparing herself for what was about to be done. Alone, sitting there, the only sound she had heard all morning was her anxious heart. She looked behind her in shock when she heard footsteps crushing the jungle around her.
It was Hook who appeared, rubbing sleep from his eyes, genuinely surprised to see her.
"What are you doing up Indie?"
"Couldn't sleep," she replied honestly, returning her eyes to where a the softest of glows was shining across the horizon, breaking apart the darkness. "You're up considerably earlier than normal."
He came and sat down next to her as she looked at the circles beneath his eyes and asked, "Nightmare?"
He smiled sadly at her, "I was hoping they wouldn't come back."
Indigo shook her head, "What was it about?"
Hook glanced up at her, his blue eyes shining in sadness as she nodded knowingly. "Right," she said. That was something else about Neverland's magic. Back when she'd been with Hook, when he'd worked for Pan, she'd seen him awaken many times in the night, scared by the images he'd seen in his dreams. But each time, the things that he feared in his dreams would come to pass. Eventually she began to have them too; the last telling her that she would leave him. The next night had been when she did.
"I'll stop this," Hook said strongly, turning to her. "You can't-"
"You and I both know that you don't escape the future that Neverland hands you," she muttered in response, not wanting to look up at him. Finally, Indigo revealed to him and herself what she knew aloud, making it truly real. "I'm going to die today Killian."
"We'll find a way to stop it. Emma has magi –"
He was cut off by the arms that she threw around his neck, the warmth of her hug, her grief filling him once again. She whispered in his ear, "By the end of today this is going to be over. And no one else will die except me."
"I want you to respect that Hook," Indigo continued, pulling away from him, looking into his eyes earnestly. "Let it be my last wish. Don't try and help me." She made to stand up, ordering him as she went. "Tell the others they've been fantastic. And tell Wendy...tell Wendy I love her."
"But can't you-"
"I don't like goodbyes Captain Jones," she laughed, remembering every time she'd snuck out in the night. Her arm went to pull him to his feet. "And you should know that better than anyone. When I'm gone, you'll have a clear walk to Henry. Talk to Felix – he'll get you off the island."
"Felix?" Hook asked in confusion. "What are you doing working with him? What are you planning on doing today Indie – you aren't…you aren't going to try and kill Pan are you?"
Indigo's silence was deafening.
"You're willing to sacrifice yourself to kill him," Killian's face was a little angry. How could she? After everything that their group had gone through together; she still worked alone. "Wendy was right; you do still love him."
"Maybe I do," she replied softly, looking up at Hook and continuing, "That's why I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to save him."
xxx
Felix was rummaging through the back of Pan's bookshelf where he found his stash of magic beans that he had built up over the years, just incredibly thankful that the boy wasn't in. Felix climbed down the stairs, calling out as he went.
"Alright boys." He walked to where Wendy was waiting on the edge of the camp. "We know what today entails. We're getting Henry out of here, and myself and Indigo are going to heal Neverland."
"No offence Felix," Meron called out, "But how exactly do you intend to do that. Your power's nowhere near Pan's."
"No it isn't," Felix admitted. "But Indigo Tigerlily's is. So I need the younger boys on Henry duty and everyone else lining the path from the base of Dead Man's Peak to the Echo Caves. Meron, you're in charge of your section, Devin, don't let me down with yours." The boys nodded before splitting as Felix turned to Wendy.
"And where are you going Felix?" Wendy asked quickly.
"I get to be Pan's bait," he sighed, before leaving without another word. Wendy shrank back into the shadows and away into the dawn, back towards her family with a weight dropping in her heart. She tried not to let it affect her, but she knew that her mother had once again chosen to fight for Pan and not for her.
But as Indigo jumped through the trees, all she could think about were the people she was leaving behind; about Wendy and Hook, Snow, David, Neal and Emma...they would be alright. They would all be fine; if she could just do what needed to be done.
Standing up on Dead Man's Peak, she cleared away the dreamshade that existed there quickly, not wanting to risk it if there was a scuffle. It took her a while to realise why it was taking so long. Her hands were slightly, but distinctively shaking. Indigo was nervous in those dark moments before the dawn.
She wasn't going to wait for Felix to be bait. In the end, Indigo didn't want him distracting her when it all went down. So before the sun had even begun to rise, she raised Pan's flute to her lips, and played.
It wasn't exactly a melody, merely separate and slightly dissonant melodies. But it was only moments before Pan appeared before her, anger plain across his face until he saw the flute in her hands and he hesitated momentarily, a glimpse of Peter of Panenai once more seeping in. She took a few steps closer to him, putting the flute in her pocket, and looked up into his confused brown eyes. His vulnerable eyes.
The flowers were blooming as spring approached quickly.
Indigo placed her hands on his chest lightly.
It was in Panenai that the young girl first saw him.
Her face was expressionless as her fingers clenched.
And they danced.
Pan's face became a mask of pain as her hand invaded his body, reaching for his heart.
Joy lit up the princess's face.
"Please," she murmured to her own magic as she felt it pulse down her arm like a jettison of pure life. The moment it hit her hand – found his heart – he screamed out in pain so great that he was completely incapacitated.
When he saw her he held out his open arms.
As the magic took on a life of its own, she let go of his heart, leaving it intact within his body, but the magic stream still connected as it worked to push the magic out of his every blood cell, circulating around in the air – and straight back to her.
"I will go anywhere with you Peter."
Indigo would not let a noise escape her as she watched the boy yelling in pain before her. But ignoring her own pain only meant that tears began to stream from her eyes as she clenched her muscles tightly and bit down harshly upon her lip until her mouth was filled with blood.
"I love you Princess."
Pan's yells abruptly silenced and Indigo saw that he had fallen into unconsciousness. But she knew he wasn't dead; no, he would not be the one to die from this. He was not going to get away so easily.
"You don't know what I've done."
He was going to live; the worst punishment of all. To live with himself knowing what he'd done. And Indigo almost groaned as she realised all the years she'd spent punishing herself. When Morgana had come searching for Merlin's power…she'd had to do something to protect him…It was her secret. What she'd lived with since the moment she'd looked Merlin in the eye, stared him down, ripped his still-beating heart from his chest and set it alight as he fell, the light fading from his eyes.
"That has to be lonely."
Pan was alone now. Lying unconscious upon the floor – not a friend in sight – the lost boys doing all that they could to work against him. And Indigo, standing over him as his blood magic was slowly drained from him.
"It's been centuries. We're centuries old Pan."
Felix appeared on the side of the rock face. He was yelling something at Indigo that she couldn't hear. Pan's magic formed almost a bubble between the two of them, separating her thoughts from whatever pleading Felix was trying with her.
"Neverland?" Jones asked, "I should think not. That place is a living hell."
Finally, he used his own magic to push through the bubble forcefully and grasp hold of her arm. His hand burned, but he didn't let go, the adamance in his eyes only reinforced by the scar upon his face that began to turn black as he took on the poisoned magic.
"You don't have to love him forever."
"No Felix," she was muttering, the magic in the air tangible. It was metallic and harsh but Felix's hand upon her forearm was channelling everything she was taking from him – making it easier…
"You could go anywhere."
But it was as though he didn't realise. He didn't realise that by standing there, trying to help, he was merely moving Pan's power into a new shell. It would work through him; nothing would change. All of this pain – all of this heartache – would be for nothing. And that scared her. What was her life worth if she couldn't give it up for something?
"You're so afraid of who you are," Killian continued. "If you aren't certain, that will get you killed someday."
Felix couldn't be the one to finish this. Of that she was certain. She would be the one to regret it – the one who would have to live with it if she didn't do this. And she didn't want to live with pain. Not anymore.
Indigo didn't look back as she took to the sky.
"Felix!" she cried, trying to force him off. "You have to stop! Pan's magic is poison!"
"Warn her; if I ever meet her, I will kill her."
"I'm not going to let you die for this Indigo," Felix answered, determination in his burning eyes. "This was my fault."
"Could we, possibly, be friends Indigo?"
Indigo refused to argue with him, flinging her right hand out towards the boy. She withdrew the power Felix was trying to take from her while she continued to take Pan's. If she had to, she would do it. She would take all of Merlin's magic from both of them, like withdrawing a little more blood from a poisoned wound than she'd initially intended. It was simple; it was making sure that nothing could poison Neverland. That Neverland would stop harming them.
Indigo was scared lying alone upon that beach.
It was simple belief that made the leaves blossom; that made the dawn beautiful – the belief that the world would continue to flourish. And it would go back to the way it was before Peter Pan happened.
And so she persevered on through the night.
Her hands were shaking uncontrollably as Pan awoke once again, moans channelling through his body that grew into massive convulsions. The tears flowing from her eyes were no longer just tears of pain. Felix was clutching at his chest in pain whilst Pan looked as though he was dying in the most pitiful of positions.
"Wendy."
Indigo sank to her knees, the system too much in place that even she had no control over it. The magic was fuelling itself now. Out of Pan; out of Felix – and killing her slowly.
"You think the world has been any less cruel to me?"
The flow of magic from Felix ceased abruptly as the boy collapsed, breathing heavily upon the rocks. He looked up at Indigo pleadingly, a certain glow gone from his eyes. He had no more magic.
"Oh my Wendy-bird," she murmured into her honey coloured hair, clutching her to her body as she fought back tears. "Be brave."
"Get out of here Felix," Indigo ordered through gritted teeth, her blue eyes turning into a murky red as the magic began to overrun her. Soon it would be too much. "Get my family home."
He was slow to move and she yelled at him, a yell fuelled by an intense pain that was accelerating rapidly, "You can't do anything more here Felix. You use that bean and get my family home!"
"You've got influence – you have fear. Use it."
Felix took one last look at her, kneeling upon the ground pitifully and ran.
Wendy, grown up…
And Indigo knew, beyond anything she had ever known, that they would be okay.
… caught sight of the shadow…
And finally; it was over.
The magic that she had cleared Pan of filled her very being. And he was still. Despite everything, Indigo crawled over to him, using the last bit of energy she had to feel for his breath. It wasn't there.
She felt for his pulse; she couldn't find it.
"No!" she whispered, leaning over him and placing her hands in the middle of his sternum. "You are not dying on me now. I did not go through all that for you to just give up."
Indigo's tears were mingled with frustration and pain, but she pushed through it, forcing hard compressions on Pan's chest. Seconds later, he was gasping in breaths, and she fell backwards as Pan's magic began to destroy her from the inside out.
"Looks like I did it Pan," she breathed as he scrambled up onto his knees. She leaned backwards, her breaths coming in gasps as she fought for air, her vision blurring and focusing intermittently. "I destroyed you."
Peter Pan was looking at her with wide eyes – clear and most definitely, unashamedly, afraid. Not for himself, but for the girl in pain before him.
And yet he couldn't move. It was like a rush of a thousand years shook his entire being and he had no control over what he felt; the grief, the guilt –
Indigo groaned as she crawled forward to him, ignoring the pain that radiated with every movement she made. Finally, reaching him, she pulled his face up to look at her. With all the strength she had, she pleaded with him, "Please don't."
"But look at what you've done Anabelle," Pan said, looking up at her, tears marring his face, his eyes red and blurry, "I would've preferred to die. You know how much I hate what I've done. I can't just go back to being Peter. I can't live with this."
"Why did you try and live forever then?" Indigo breathed.
"Because it was easier to live as someone else than to live as who you made me."
Peter's back bowed forward as he fell into his hands, groaning, "You made me good."
"Then why would you have destroyed my memory by being the exact opposite?!" she said strongly, hissing as the pain moved up her chest and closer to her heart. It was soon; it had to be soon. "If you truly thought I would live out my life and die, why would you become Pan?"
"Why couldn't you have just been you?" she finished desperately, tears falling down her face as pain began to clasp coldly around her heart. "Why can't you just be Peter Pan? And I'll just be Anabelle."
"Because we can't change the past," Peter said, looking up at her with wide sad eyes. "I can't undo everything I've done – everything I've done to you – oh God."
"Don't you dare think like that Peter Pan," Indigo said, pulling his face upwards by his chin lightly.
"How can you even say that Indigo?"
"Because, after a thousand years of thinking that I hated you, even my own daughter could see what I couldn't."
The pain ebbed into a freezing sensation, surging through her bloodstream and turning her insides to ice. And as Indigo searched his eyes, her heart slowly being encased in the cold poison of his magic, she reached out for his face. Peter refused to look at her.
"I can't love, Indigo," he murmured.
Pan looked up at her slowly as she brought her lips down upon his delicately. It was a whisper of a kiss. Peter's tears were salty and she used her fingers to wipe them away before desperately clinging to his mouth as she lost feeling in her legs.
Finally, Peter began to hold her, desperation within him, as though to prove to himself that he could feel; that he could be more than what he was. But he broke away much too quickly, not daring to look her in the eye. But once more, she pulled him back to her, their foreheads touching as the dawn broke over the horizon and Indigo felt the coldness clenching her heart. With a small convulsion as the ice tightened indescribably, she whispered to him her last word, with the greatest of pleading.
"Try."