Chapta Twenty: Here Dey Come

Chapta Twenty: Here Dey Come… Again

Say of Da Day – "Hiding's not just for cowards, it's for people with a will to live." – PVT Marco Fezz.

Dust clouds and plumes of dirty exhaust gas trailed the mob of Ork warbuggies, warbikes, and battlewagons which spear headed their way mercilessly across the parched desert. Kargust's scouts had reported seeing tracks leading from the ruined Snakebite camp to the east; Squigopolis was the most obvious destination of the surviving Snakebites.

Not a single Goff Ork was left to walk; Kargust didn't want to waste one second more than he had needed to achieve his goal, and ordered anything with wheels to be loaded to the brim. Even some of the warbikes faired an extra passenger; Ilgil and Mokka were two such extra passengers, riding on warbikes at the back of the horde to try and avoid any mishaps as Weirdboys were prone to.

Ilgil did not find the ride as uncomfortable as Mokka, despite the Weirdboy Nob having a side cart to travel in – Ilgil was small enough to be perched behind the driver, clinging on like a limpet to a rock. Mokka despised the cramped side cart which wasn't suited for an Ork of his size and was quickly descending into a foul mood. They rode on different warbikes to avoid getting up each others noses – Mokka showed no signs of being even the slightest bit friendly to Ilgil, and in truth he had no intentions of it either.

Kargust was in a fetid mood as he stood on top of the leading battlewagon's canopy, holding onto the boss pole with one hand and sporting a pair of binoculars with the other. It was late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to make its way towards the horizon. The Goff Boss was bent on annihilating his enemy, Uurgrin, as soon as possible and would leave nothing to chance this time around. He made a verdict in his mind to hack each and every single Snakebite to pieces with his own hands if need be; the Boss would ensure the Clan did not suffer another humiliating set back.

"I can't see da city! Go fasta! I wanna get dere now!" Kargust yelled over the roar of the vehicles to the battlewagon's driver, despite the fact the overloaded battlewagon was going as fast as it could with a full load.

"Yeh, righto Boss!" The driver responded, if only to show that he had heard his Boss' order.

"I'll show dem Snakebites why I's called da Black Drag'n…" Kargust muttered, looking through his binoculars again, hoping to glimpse Squigopolis. "I c'n already feel dere blood splatterin' on me face…"

Meanwhile, at the Snakebite's temporary camp.

Cezzy-Po and Brudz had arrived at the camp where the theft had taken place, and examined the spot where the Wartrakk had been parked prior to going missing.

"Looksh like dey jush' drove off wiv it," Brudz shrugged. "Maybe dey hot wired it."

The Dok wasn't concerned about the missing Wartrakk. "Oo cares 'bout dat ugly fing, iz dere any signs ov Squigsy? Poop or finga prints in da dirt maybe?"

Brudz shook her head. "No, not 'ere. But let'sh follow da Wartrakk'sh track, maybe dey took Shquigshy too."

Both Orks got back on the bike and drove through the hole in the fence where the Wartrakk had driven through. They followed the track across several blocks - it wasn't hard to see where the vehicle had been: a trail of destruction lay in its wake. Whoever was driving it obviously had a hard time getting used to the wide turn of the strange machine.

"Itsh good ter ride me bike again… look, no 'andsh!" Brudz let go of the handles and waved her hands in the air, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth as she relished in the joy of riding at dangerous speeds.

Cezzy-Po shrieked as the bike wobbled treacherously, and punched her sister in the side of the face yelling, "grab dem 'andles b'fore I kills ya!"

Her sister complied, taking control of the bike again. "I woz jush' 'avin' shome fun…"

In no less than five minutes the trail came to a halt at a roll-up door of a large, graffiti covered, brick building. Brudz pulled up a few meters away confused. "Dat'sh weird, I fawt dey would've went furver dan dish. Do dey fink we're shtoopid or shumfin'? Oi? Where'd yer go?" Brudz looked at the empty side cart and around the area baffled.

"Fear da NINJA DOK!"

Brudz jumped out of her seat in fright and fell on the ground as something draped in a black sprang up beside her. "What da! I'm being attacked! Wha? Oi, Cezzy-Po… why are ya dressed up in dat?"

"What? I aint Cezzy-Po! I'm Ninja Dok!" The figure replied.

The 'Ninja Dok' wore black clothes; everything from the doctor's face mask to her coat, even the sash which was tied around her waist to keep the coat wrapped tight was dark (and appeared to be blood stained). The Ninja Dok's hands and feet were bare, and her hair was tied up in two buns – exactly like Cezzy-Po's.

"Gimme a break, do ya fink I'm dumb enough ter fall fer dat? I know dat'sh yew Shezzy-Po, I rememba sheein' ya dreshed in shimilar fingsh on our way ter Shquigopolish."

Ninja Dok completely denied having anything to do with Cezzy-Po. "I AM NINJA DOK! We must find Nin-Squig! Enough talk, especially since yew've got an' annoyin' lishp."

Brudz rolled her eyes; she had no idea what was making her sister act so strange, but for now if she wished to get anywhere she would have to play along and ask questions later. "Whateva… let'sh jusht break in an' get our shtuff back."

"I already fawt ov dat," Ninja Dok replied, pulling out a large tangle of stikkbombs from her behind her back. "We'll do it da easy way – open da door!"

With the swiftness of a leopard on speed, Ninja Dok placed the mess in front of the roll-up door, pulled a string which removed all twelve pins, and dashed behind the bike for cover.

Crack! Crack! Bang! Crack-Crack-Crack-Bang! Bang! Crack! Bang-Bang! Crack!

Brudz immediately jumped over to the other side of the bike to inspect for damage. "Yew idiot! I JUST GOT DISH FING PAINTED!" She ran her hand over the chipped paint fuming.

But Ninja Dok wasn't listening – she was busy whacking at the damaged door with one of Brudz' spanners.

"Well, yew shaw aint a Ninja oo'sh worried 'bout bein' dishcreet, are ya?" Sighing with resignation, Brudz picked up her largest spanner of all and joined in, trying to enlarge the hole that had been created. "Dis'd be so much quicka if Glim was 'ere wiv 'ish burna…"

"Dere's someone tryin' ter break in!" A voice yelled out behind the roll-up door.

"Ya fink?" Another voice replied. "I 'eard da noise from in da basement! Quick! Hide ev'ryfin'!"

Ninja Dok worked furiously, thrashing the hole larger and larger. As soon as it was big enough, she flew through the hole yelling, "NINNNNN-JA!"

Brudz crawled through, careful not to snag her clothes on the jagged edges of the metal. She held her spanner ready to fight, but Ninja Dok was doing a fine job of apprehending the Orks; the Mek recognized them as being members of the Deathskullz clan.

To her surprise, there were only two of them. With Ninja Dok tying up the two Orks, Brudz was free to look around at her leisure. The Mek didn't have to look hard to find the Wartrakk – it was in an adjacent room, surrounded by tools, petrol cans, and was partially painted blue; the two Orks had obviously been busy repainting and adjusting it. This infuriated the Mek; the only colour anybody painted her vehicles was red!

Stamping back into the garage she snarled at the two Orks, "Ain't yew pair got a brain b'tween yer? Don't paint my wartrakk blue, it'll go slower!"

The two Deathskullz Orks narrowed their eyes at Brudz and the Dok, as if trying to remember something.

"Oi, Oglak, iz it jus' me or does dem two look familiar?" One of the Deathskullz mused.

"Oh… yer right, Murk! 'Ey, I rememba! Dey's da pair we met at da pub in Tam'urt!"

Ninja Dok and Brudz looked at one another bewildered; suddenly, their memories came rushing back. "I… I don't know what yer talkin' 'bout!" Ninja Dok lied.

"Yeah, yeah, you're dat Dok!" Oglak said nodding. "An' she's da Mek! Rememba us? I'm Oglak, an' me buddy 'ere's Murkagro! But why's yer bofe dressed all funny?"

"I'm not jus' any Dok, I'm Ninja Dok!," The Dok replied sounding offended. "An' I aint dressed funny! An' neiver iz she."

Brudz was sure she was still forgetting something important about the night at the pub; but she couldn't remember. "Uh… why d'ya say we're dressed funny? I always wears dis."

Oglak looked from the Dok to the Mek. "Deffskullz don't dress like dat. What're ya tryin' ta do, pass off az an Evil Sunz Ork and a Goff, hur, hur!"

The mention of dressing to look like another clan jolted the finer details of that night back into their memory. Brudz wasn't sure what to say except, "Uh, about dat… yew shee…"

A scuttling noise could be heard getting closer. Everybody looked about, when suddenly Squigsy came bounding out of the room where the wartrakk was parked. It squealed in delight when it saw Ninja Dok, and ran to her, jumping up at her legs like a dog.

Ninja Dok picked the experimental squig up, put a black bandana around its' head, and glared menacingly down at Oglak and Murkagro. "So! Yew are responshible fer kid nappin' Nin-Squig! YEW SHALL DIE!"

"What!?" Murkagro shrunk beneath the wrath of Ninja Dok. "We didn't steal dat fing! We… we didn't even know it woz 'ere!"

Ninja Dok sat 'Nin-Squig' on her shoulder and reached for her chest saw which was slung across her back. Oglak blurted, "we woz jus' takin' it fer a walk, wasn't we, Murk? Yeah! Yeah! It looked like it needed some exercise… we woz gonna put it back, we swears!"

Murkagro nodded vigorously, apologizing. "W-we didn't mean ter make yer fink we woz fieves… oh, we aint fieves, oh no, certainly not! We woz jus' takin' it fer a walk like Oglak said. We're honest Orks, I swears, yep… "

Nin-Squig (better known to everyone except the Ninja Dok as Squigsy) licked Ninja Dok's cheek, salivating profusely. This seemed to calm the Ninja Dok down. "So… yer took me Nin-Squig for a walk, ya say?"

Oglak and Murkagro replied at the same time, "yep. Sure did…"

"I suppose dat means yer took me wartrakk fer a walk too, yeah?" The Orks looked around at the Roll-up door where the voice had come from.

A mega-claw ripped the door open like it was tissue paper; first Jamz entered, and then Oric. Uurgrin, Orlen, Ongrat and the other Snakebites could be seen standing outside with Jawge.

Oric was not impressed when he found the wartrakk – he dragged it out, and pointed to it as he scolded the Deathskullz, swearing, snorting and being generally outraged that it was stolen and given a horrible paint job. He was about to clobber the helpless pair with his Squiggoth tusk when Murkagro pleaded for the girls to help them. "Don't let 'im kill us Cezzy-Po! We won't be able ter go pub crawlin' togever wiv yew an' Brudz ev'r again if were squished! If yew untie us an' save us, I swears we'll do whatev'r yew lot want – we 'aven't even been ta waagh yet!"

"I told yer, I ain't Cezzy-Po! I'm Ninja Dok!"

Jamz walked up to the tied Deathskullz and bent over until he was breathing his moist skunk-like breath over their faces. "What did yew say 'bout pub crawlin' wiv me sistahs?"

"Nuffin!" Ninja Dok said before Oglak or Murkagro could reply. "Yew need ter clean yer ears out."

"Me hearin's fine!" Jamz snarled at Ninja Dok. Sensing she was hiding something he grabbed the Dok by her coat and lifted her off the floor. "Now tell me, when did yew go pub crawlin' wiv dem Deffskullz! I wants ter know."

Brudz had tried to creep away unnoticed but Oric grabbed her by the scruff of her neck. "Don't yew go anywhere! Dere's a problem."

Apparently undeterred by Jamz' anger, the Dok continued to deny everything. "I am Ninja Dok! I didn't go pub crawlin' wiv no one! Ninja's drink alone. Except sometimes wiv Nin-Squigs. Wait, did Oric say 'problem'?"

The girls looked at Oric for an explanation, but Uurgrin walked in and fleshed out the situation with a severe tone of seriousness. "Ongrat sensed a large amount of waagh energy when we entered da outskirts of da city – he suspects it's da Goffs. But da point iz, dey're close, prob'ly no more'n an hour away if dey's goin' hell fer levver, which dey would be knowin' dere Boss. We aint got no vehicles ter out run 'em, so we gots ter hide 'til dey leave Squigopolis."

"But… why don't yer jus' fight 'em?" Oglak spoke up, puzzled as to why anyone would want to miss a good brawl. "Hidin' sounds like somefin' a Gretchin'd do."

The Deffskullz Ork immediately regretted opening his mouth; Uurgrin kicked the bound Orks flat onto their backs. He leant over them, with one large foot pinning them down and saliva dripping from his large teeth. "Yew two don't know nuffin' 'bout what's goin' on! Dere's fwree score ov me boys, an' prob'ly no less den ten score ov da Goffs! Oh, we'll fight 'em alright – but not right now. We aint runnin' from a fight… we're jus' delayin' it. Hmm… yew'll make a nice feed fer our snake."

"Jawge belongs ter Ongrat." Ninja Dok corrected Uurgrin. She ducked as his fist jabbed the air where her head had been a fraction of a second before hand.

"Uh… sho what'sh da plan?" Brudz asked, absent mindedly picking at the holes in her top gum.

It was obvious Uurgrin hadn't thought of anything. "Gimme a few minutes," he replied, taking his foot off the Deathskullz. "I don't fink well unda stress." He struggled to think of how he could hide sixty-plus Orks – he couldn't risk using an old warehouse, what if the Goffs combed the city? Stealing some trucks crossed his mind, but he decided that might make things worse – he already had one horde after his green head.

The Snakebites who had been waiting outside began to come in through the hole. Ongrat and Orlen lead the pack, and joined Uurgrin.

"Where c'n we all hide… hurr… Sewers, maybe?" Uurgrin pondered aloud.

Ongrat rubbed his left eye which was dribbling waagh energy. "I reckon da Goffs might look dere… but nice try Boss."

"Yew… I fawt yew were one ov us Deffskullz? Murkagro said in a hushed voice to Ninja Dok. "An' da uvver one too…"

"Ninja Dok speaks to no one but other ninjas!" The black-coated Dok replied, then ran out of the room. A few minutes later, Cezzy-Po emerged with Squigsy in her arms and walked over to the two Deathskullz. "I 'eard yew woz wonderin' 'bout why we were dressed funny… well, troofully, we aint Deffskullz, we're Evil Sunz. We dressed up az Deffskullz ter blend in, an' avoid bein' shot, stabbed or shtomped. Ain't dat right Brudz?"

Brudz nodded once, grinning as she recalled that night. "But don't go blabbin' dat ter dat big fella… 'ee might get offended."

"Hmm… oi, Uggin, or whatev'r ya name iz…" Oglak spoke, addressing Uurgrin. "I fink I knows how ter hide yew an' yer buddies."

Uurgrin looked down at the bound Ork with resentment. "Me name's Uurgrin, get it right! An' what's yer idea? Betta not be nuffin' stupid, or I'll use yer fer axe practice."

"Dress up az us Deffskullz, paint yerself blue… dat kind of fing."

"Hurr…" Uurgrin looked away as he thought. "Dat might work, I suppose."

"Not fer ev'ryone, Boss." Ongrat, who was more on the ball than his tough but not so sharp Boss, explained. "Kargust an' 'is ladz knows some of our faces. Mostly yew, me, Orlen an' some ov da uvver Nobz. Disguisin' da rest ov 'em's a good idea, but we need ter fink ov what ta do about us…"

Uurgrin grabbed the two Deffskullz boys, hefted them off the floor, and sat them on a bench and untied them. "Right, sounds like we've got some finkin' ter do! Time fer a meetin's wiv da boyz."

Everyone present had attended the rushed meeting; it was quick, to the point, and surprisingly less violent (although not without incident). Between the Snakebites, the Evil Sunz, and the two Deathskullz a plan was devised. Everyone would dress like the Deathskullz, blue waagh paint and all, except for a small handful of Orks.

Jamz, being the largest and least known of the Orks, would pose as the Deathskullz' Waaghboss. Ongrat suggested it was best if he, being a Weirdboy, did not hide anywhere near the main mob of Snakebites incase Mokka, the Goff Weirdboy, sensed a build up of Waagh energy and uncovered him. Uurgrin decided to send the Weirdboy, Jawge, Brudz and Cezzy-Po to Shilf's workshop; the Dok still needed to give Shilf his squig-hair transplant. Questions had been raised as to whether Shilf would allow the three Orks and the snake to camp at his workshop. Arguing that there wasn't enough time to deal with every single problem, Uurgrin left that slight crease un-ironed, saying, "Dat's fer Ongrat an' da girlz ta deal wiv."

It was also decided that because there wasn't many places large Orks could hide, Orlen and some of the Nobz would risk dressing as Deffskullz Meks, equipped with gas masks, welding masks, and anything else plausible to hide their identities. Uurgrin was too much too obvious a target to try and hide behind a mask, so he and the remaining Nobz – three of them – planned to hide in the building's attic and hope for the best.

The Orks were satisfied to at least have a plan, even if it wasn't the best plan. Once the meeting was over, everybody hurried to prepare. Thankfully, the building was an old Deffskullz hide-out which had only been occupied by Oglak and Murkagro – they had been left behind by their tribe several days ago, possibly because their clan thought they were dead. The pair had been highly intoxicated and had some how managed to find themselves sleeping in a dumpster. On return to the building, they realized no body was there, and so they loitered about the city trying to figure out what they should do, between doing whatever they pleased. Then, earlier today, they thought of something – steal a vehicle, and catch up! Unfortunately that little part hadn't gone as planned.

Oglak and Murkagro dug out a few buckets of hoarded blue paint, clothes and items the Snakebites could wear instead of their furs. They had built up quite a collection of stolen goods over the past few days thanks to a combination of boredom, slippery hands, and participation in card games at the pubs and casinos.

Jamz' mega armor was repainted blue by Brudz, and Oric applied liberal amounts of blue paint to his own skin – there wasn't much else he needed to do. Once the sun was down Ongrat and the sisters prepared to leave for Shilf's. The Weirdboy wrapped himself in a cloth and mounted Jawge, and followed the girls as they rode off on the bike. They avoided going through the centre of the city, and hurrying through the outskirts to try and avoid too many Orks seeing the giant snake – something that would usually be associated with the Snakebite clan.

When they arrived, the three Orks went around to the back entrance to Shilf's workshop. Several of Shilf's boyz were having a break, smoking cigars and eating when the company pulled up outside of the tall wire fence.

"Oi, who's dat?" One of the Orks called out to the visitors.

Brudz got hailed them, "It's me, Brudz, an' Cezzy-Po an' ugly." She said, jabbing her thumb in Ongrat's direction avoiding looking at the giant snake.

The Orks muttered and ordered the smallest among them to go fetch Shilf. When the Big Mek arrived, he walked up to the fence. "So, ya came ter give me my squig-'air transplant, have yew?" He asked with a slight snarl.

"Yeah, course we 'ave!" Cezzy-Po replied, jumping out of the side cart. "I wouldn't break a promish – not wiv a big lad like yew, anyway. I'm a Dok, I know what's not god fer one's healf, hee, hee!"

Satisfied, Shilf relaxed. "So, why's dis lot wiv yer?"

Cezzy-Po explained their situation to Shilf – ninety percent of it, anyway. She offered her doktory services to Shilf and his crew for free while they stayed – and Brudz' mechanical skills. The Dok made sure to mention that ratting them out to the Goffs would prove unproductive, and that dead or kidnapped Orks couldn't stitch up gaping holes or paint trucks and bikes.

Shilf agreed, but demanded that the snake stay in the storage shed, well away from his Orks – Brudz was thoroughly relieved. The Big Mek unlocked the gate and let the Orks through.

A snicker surprisingly high pitched for such a large Ork left Kargust's grinning mouth, as the convoy of Goff vehicles pulled up on the edge of Squigopolis. Out of sheer joy, the Goff Boss grabbed the boss pole he was previously using as a hand-hold with his mega-claw, and snapped it like a twig. He held it up in the air, and roared into the night sky.

"Yaw mine, Uurgriiiin! Har, har, har!"

All the Orks raised their weapons, joining in shouting and howling, stirring themselves into a frenzy. Ilgil covered her ears as the Ork warbiker she hitched a ride with roared and revved his bike, sending shudders through its rough, stocky frame. The Weirdgirl concentrated on holding back waagh energy, which was quickly building up inside her little body. Mokka, on the other hand, was freely blasting rocks to pieces and setting fire to shrubs with great gouts of green light which erupted from his eyes.

When he was finished relieving himself, her turned to Ilgil with a mocking sneer. "Hold it in much longer runt, an' yew'll pop like a zit. Hur, hur, hur, not dat I care – I'm sick ov 'avin' feeble apprentices."

The Weirdgirl ignored her senior Weirdboy; she was used to his callous remarks and expected nothing less than a degrading comment every time he opened his rotten mouth to say something. She didn't care though as long as Mokka didn't find out she wasn't a boy – Ilgil feared this above all things, for being a girl in her tribe meant only one thing: being caged up like a squig.

Reluctantly Ilgil spat out a burst of energy – there was no point killing herself. She turned away from Mokka so he couldn't look her in the eyes; it was one of his favorite ways to intimidate the small Ork, and she found it extremely uncomfortable and irritating.

"We're headin' inta town," Ilgil heard Kargust yell above the din. "We start da search immediately – question ev'ry Ork yer come across, an' if yer 'ear ov even a trace ov dem Snakebites, report back ter me! We'll rest when I says, an' only when I says!"

Just as the convey began to move again, Mokka reached out with a brass stave and prodded Ilgil with it. "Yew stay near me an' da Minders at all times. No wanderin' off – dis ain't da camp, runt."

"…yes, Masta Mokka…" Ilgil cringed; she disliked having to call the Weirdboy 'masta' but she didn't want to get a hiding, either.

The Goffs headed straight into the heart of Squigopolis, stopping now and then to question Orks roaming the outskirts. Those who didn't answer to the Goffs swift enough were thoroughly beaten. Most of the Orks interrogated said they didn't pay much attention to passers-by, and provided little information. Merchants, on the other hand, proved to be more informative; some of them recalled selling things to Orks dressed in animal skins not too long ago. This pleased Kargust.

Chapta 20 Notes: This is a bit of a filler chapter, to start the beginning of new events and to tie up old events. Sorry if it was boring, but sometimes these kind of chapters are unavoidable (well, unavoidable if you're me…)