Hector, Lavernica, Zippity-Do, Pierce Hawthorne, and Bing-Bong sat at a table in Milty's Tavern in Foggybrooke, drinking ale and watching as Marrrrr dangled a terrified gnome off the ground.

"Lavernica, I can't believe you're just sitting there doing nothing," Hector noted.

"Yeah, every time we come across gnomes we end up spending a half an hour fighting off angry locals that you pissed off with your protests," said Bing-Bong.

"You really need to stop doing that when you have a -9 Oratory bonus.," Zippity-Do mumbled into her glass of ale.

Shooting Zippity-Do a glare, Lavernica turned back to Marrrrr, who didn't seem what to do with the gnome now that he had him in the air. "Hey, the tiny jerk whistled at me. Can you think of anything else more sexist? I'm not your dog!"

The gnome shouted frantically, in Gnome, "I was whistling at your cat!" But since Lavernica was the only one who understood him, she didn't feel the need to share that with people. Besides, her panther, Gloria Steinem, was a proud woman, too. She probably didn't want to be whistled at, either.

"If he was whistling at anyone, it was probably Hector," Pierce Hawthorne said, pointing at Hector's well-endowed chest. She gasped, instinctively bringing her arms over her chest. "Besides, you really think Forehead over there would defend you're honor, Flat-Front?"

Lavernica glowered in disgust. "He might be defending my honor," Zippity-Do pouted.

"Please. Nobody's going to objectify a dwarf."

"Somebody might…"

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to defend my honor," Lavernica grumbled at Bing-Bong.

"It might! Last time I tried to do that you called me a chauvinist and through that gender-swap potion at me!"

"Which hit me!" Hector reminded, as she reached for the pitcher of ale. She failed to reach it however, because of her enormous chest.

"Abed!"

"Sorry. You're still Hector the Well Endowed. Your endowment just had to move north when you became female."

"Thing have gotten awkward ever since Hector turned into a girl," Bing Bong sighed, easily reaching the pitched and pouring himself another glass, ignoring Hector's distress.

"We've certainly had more incidents like this," Zippity-Do said, finishing off her ale. "And I thought Lavernica's ranting got us into trouble… the amount of guys Marrrrr has killed for looking at Hector the wrong way has gotten us into even more trouble."

"Remember when we used to fight dragons instead of fighting people who pissed of Marrrrr?" Bing-Bong remembered wistfully.

"Guys, you're exaggerating," Hector tried to reason. "We just finished up that quest through the city's tunnels! And we're in this tavern to meet that rogue Inquisitor who wants to hire us!"

Lavernca smirked. "Yeah, but if he kills this gnome, we might have to leave before he gets here.

"The King's Guard really shouldn't have given him that license to kill," Zippity-Do said.

Everyone nodded and hummed their agreement.

"Yeah, but he's not…" Hector stammered, blushing. "I mean… it's not because of me."

Together, the group looked at Hector, and then to her chest, pointedly, making her blush ever deeper. Then they turned back to placidly watch Marrrrr, waiting to see if he killed the poor gnome.

"Well, if he kills him, I hope there's at least something worth looting on the body," Pierce Hawthorne said with a small amounted of enthusiasm.

The rest of the group perked up slightly at the thought. Especially Bing-Bong.

"Ooh. I want his boots."

END