Yo!! The arc is officially over!! The American Assault Arc, which is arc one by the way. Is now over with this chapter, so read and enjoy.
Chapter 22: The Light at the End of the Darkness!! A Day to Recover!!
(Border Village Hospital)
Raven groaned and moaned, before he woke up. "groan What happened?" Raven asked. "You tell me. When I found you, you were barely conscious." Raven knew that was the voice of Tsunade, and he turned in the direction of her voice.
"I'd say I'm glad to see you, but I can't really see." Raven said, as he looked around blindly. "Yeah, that wasn't easy to fix. You're not completely blind, but your normal vision isn't going to be the same. I fixed your Sharingan so that it is as good as new, but your vision without the Sharingan is blind. In a way, that is quite ironic." Tsunade said, smirking.
"How so?" Raven asked. "Ask Sasuke next chance you get." Tsunade said, as she handed Raven a case. "Hm? A present?" Raven asked. "I didn't get you anything. That little girl did." Tsunade said, and Raven shook his head.
"Hey, did you agree to watch her? I asked Sakura to ask you to make sure she leads a normal life for a nin." Raven asked. "I'm sorry, but I cannot agree to that." Tsunade said, and Raven frowned.
"Why the hell not!?" Raven screamed. "Because she is an American Nin, and she has asked to be under your care." Tsunade said, and Raven's eyes widened. "What!? My care?" Raven asked, as he looked towards the case in his hands. "She seems to be quite attached to you." Tsunade said, and Raven smiled. "I guess I could watch her. In a sense, I always wanted a younger sister."
(Blade's Room)
After a few minutes of chilling and doing nothing, Blade eventually began to wake up, and Raven smiled. "You up, Blade?" Raven asked. "Yeah…I'm up now." Blade said, as he stretched. "Well, we survived another life and death attack." Raven said. "Yeah, so how long we in here?" Blade asked. "A couple of days. I have my music, and we are awake enough to make fun of a few songs." Raven said, smirking. "I'm game." Blade said.
(Elsewhere)
"Hey Sakura! I heard that Raven and Blade woke up!!" Ino said, as she ran to Sakura, who was helping Shizune treat some of the other patients. "Really? Well, once my shift is done, I have to go and say high to them. For the mean time, get over here and help me!" Sakura said, and Ino chuckled, as she went to help.
(Blade's Room)
Ladies and Gentlemen: of the GED Class of 1999. I have one piece of advice for you.
No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champaigne room.
None!
Oh there's champaigne in the champaigne room. But you don't want champaigne. You want sex.
And there is no sex in the champaigne room.
"Oh man! Chris Rock!? That guy is hilarious!!" Blade said, as he was laughing. "Yeah. For a guy who does mostly stand up, he can throw a stand up song out quite successfully." Raven said, as they both decided to leave all comments until later.
Don't go to parties with metal detectors.
Sure it feels safe inside, but what about all those ninjas waiting outside with guns?
They know you ain't got one. (Raven and Blade sigh, knowing that to be true.)
If a women tells you she is 20, and looks 16, she is 12. ("I'd watch Ino if I were you, Blade." "Shut up, Raven.")
If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40. (Tsunade.)
Take off that silly ass hat. ("I think he meant bandana, Raven." "Shut up, Blade.")
The O.D.B couldn't have possibly commited all those crimes. (Blade: "Really?")
Coolio did some of that shit. (Raven: "Of course! I would've never guessed!")
Young Black men. If you go to a movie theatre, and someone steps on your foot: Let it Slide.
Why spend the next 20 years in jail because someone smudged your puma? ("Hey Raven-" "Don't start with me, Blade.")
Cornbread: Ain't nothing wrong with that. (Raven: "Amen to that!!")
No matter what you think of what I'm saying, remember this one thing:
There is no sex in the champaigne room.
New Voice: Hmmmm.
No sex in the champaigne room. (x6)
Absolutely, positively no sex in the champaigne room. No.
Chris Rock: If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless that long.
A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. (Raven: "That's kind of bogus." Blade: "But true…")
If a girl has a pierced toungue, she'll probably suck your dick. (Raven: "That sounds nice.")
If a guy has a pierced toungue, he'll probably suck your dick. (Both: "O.O…")
Here's a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius: You're gonna die.
Capricorn: You're gonna die.
Gemini: You're gonna die twice. (Both: "Damn…)
Leo: You're gonna die.
Scorpio: You're gonna die fucking. (Both: "Hot damn…)
Nobody goes to Hooters for wings. (Raven: "Oh so true. I bet Ino would fit in there." Blade: "Fuck off, Raven.")
If you've been dating a man for four months, and you haven't met any of his friends: You are not his girlfriend. (Raven: "Well, Ino doesn't fall under that category." Blade: "I'm going to kick your ass."
Some of things I've said may not apply to you.
Some of the things I've said may offend you.
But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing:
No matter what a stripper says, there is no sex in the champaigne room.
None!
The new voice takes it away for the rest of the song.
(Sasuke's Room)
"Hey Teme!! Are you awake now!?" Naruto ran into the hospital room screaming and yelling. "Ugh dobe. I am up." Sasuke said, growling. Orochimaru did a number on the Uchiha, and his pride wouldn't allow him to just sit and relax in a hospital, when he should be training.
"You sure got your ass kicked! Maybe I'm surpassing you!" Naruto said, smirking. "Hn. I wasn't trying my hardest." Sasuke said, smirking back. "I'm sure. But that's not why I'm here! You won't believe it!!" Naruto screamed. "You found a girl that can stand the stench of ramen 24/7?" Sasuke asked, smirking.
"Yeah! I found a girl who can stand the-How about I Rasengan you in the face, you ass-hole?" Naruto screamed, with eyes white. Before he could sock him, Sakura smacked him in the back of the head, knocking him out.
"Idiot!! Leave Sasuke-kun alone so he can rest!!" Sakura screamed. "But Sakura-chan…Sasuke started it…" Naruto said, anime tears falling out of his eyes. "Hey Sakura. When did Naruto find someone who can stand him?" Sasuke asked, smirking. "Damn you, Sasuke!!" Naruto screamed.
(Few Minutes Later)
Sakura and Ino were on their way to Raven and Blade's room, when they overheard a conversation between the two. "Blade. I understand what you are saying, but it won't work." "What? Why not!?" "Because!! There is an obvious level in between us and them!!" Ino and Sakura looked shocked.
"Is he saying that they are too good for us?" Sakura muttered, as Ino ran away, most likely in tears. Sakura balled her fist, and scowled. "I guess I misjudged them…" Sakura said, angrily.
"We are not in a position to even ask to stay in the same country as the Leaf Nin." Sakura heard Raven say, and her eyes widened. "What do you mean Raven?" Blade asked. "It's simple. We have people who want to kill us. Who are we to drag them into our fight? They have nothing to do with it." Raven said, and Sakura bet that Blade looked sheepish.
"Look Blade. We'll get Coin and Artemis, and leave in the morning. When they clear us, we get our clothes, and leave. As for food, we can get supplies for a 5-man-team on the road." Raven said. "5? I thought we only had 4 Death Gods?" Blade asked.
"Well, after my fight, I had to protect someone from some guy who called himself Katana. And now, she has been legally adopted as my little sister…" Raven said, looking sheepish. "…And now you tell me this?" Blade asked. Sakura was about to walk in, but Kiri ran right by her, and barreled into the room.
"Ah! Little sis!!" Raven screamed, as he ruffled her hair. "Ne!! Big brother!! Stop!!" Kiri screamed, and Raven chuckled. "So what's her name?" Blade asked. "Well, the name Kirikiri kept being thrown around…" Raven said, and Kiri frowned.
"No! That's the name Krad gave me! I want a different name!" Kiri said, frowning as Blade chuckled. "A new name, huh? Hmm…" Raven looked at her, and smiled. "You look like a…an…Arietta." Raven said, smiling and ruffling her hair. "Lame-ass. You named her after a video game character?" Blade asked.
"Hey. In Tales of the Abyss, Arietta wasn't a bad guy. She was doing what she thought was right, just like her." Raven said, ruffling her hair again. "So, Arietta, you have any possessions? We need to get out of this place by tommorow morning." Raven said. "Why, brother?" Arietta asked. "Because. Krad knows our location for sure. And while it is nice being here with people who won't kill us for being American Nin, burdening them with our problems is just not right. For them or us." Raven said, and Arietta looked confused.
"When you are older, then one day you will understand." Raven said. "Maybe." Blade said. "Well. Let's get-" Before Raven could finish, Blade got Raven's attention. "Wait!! Why leave now? Let's chill here for a while, and heal up." Blade said, and Raven gave him a look. "If we stay here any longer than necessary, we risk them getting involved in our affairs. I'd rather they didn't, and I'd rather you pay attention…" Raven said, and Blade looked away.
"Look, dude. Sorry you have to leave Ino behind, but that's the way it is sometimes…" Raven said, as he yawned. "Well, let's find the others and get ready to roll." Raven said,
and he was about to get ready to get out, but Sakura walked in, looking like she had the answer to curing cancer.
"Okay. I will bite. Why do you look like you won the championship game?" Raven asked. "I overheard your conversation." Sakura said, and Raven and Blade winced. "Well, there goes the silent leave…" Blade said.
"Nice. You know of the plan. Sadly, there is two of us, and one of you. Those odds aren't favorable." Raven said, smirking. His glasses glared in the light. But that didn't daunt Sakura, as she pulled out a headband, with the boys insignia on it.
Raven's eyes turned dotted, and he sweat dropped. "In the fight against the girl, my headband was destroyed. But yours on the other hand, was not. I hold it. I already heard from the others, and I know the score is 5 us, 4 you guys. You lost." Sakura said, and Raven scowled.
"That means that we are their slaves for a week." Blade said. (You think he would sound defeated, but he sounds happy…) Raven muttered, as his hair covered his eyes. "Well, Raven. Our honor as men say we honor this bet!" Blade sounded excited, and Raven sighed in irritation. "Fucking Leaf Nin. Can't mind their own business…" Raven said, before he smirked. "Fine. One week. Covince me."
(Sasuke's Room)
Sasuke looked outside the window, as Avenue Q was playing on the speakers that was connected in his room. (When I find Raven, I am going to KILL him!!) Sasuke screamed in his mind, as Hinata walked in.
"Sasuke-san. Are you feeling better?" Hinata asked, and Sasuke shrugged. "I want to leave badly." Sasuke said, and Hinata smiled. "That's understandable. Naruto-kun said that you hate being cooped up like this." Hinata said. "I would rather be out there training." Sasuke said.
"I see you are working your game, Sasuke." Hinata blushed darkly, though she didn't get what Raven said. The way he said it seemed suggestive. Raven was smirking at Sasuke, and Sasuke glared at him with Sharigan activated. Raven froze, his glasses fell off, and his eyes glazed over.
Hinata looked at the two confused. Sasuke seemed to be glaring at Raven with Sharigan eyes blaring, and Raven seemed to be stuck standing there. It then dawned on Hinata, and she walked over and forced some of her chakra into Raven, breaking the Genjutsu. Raven came to, and glared at Sasuke.
"What the hell, man!? You tried to make me think I wanted to shit on myself!" Raven screamed, and Sasuke smirked. "You ever try to make me listen to that shit again, I will kill you." Sasuke said, and Raven chuckled.
"Fair, but I think it's my turn now." Raven said, and he caught Sasuke with his Sharingan. Before Raven could try anything to damage Sasuke's pride, Hinata struck him in his chest, at the center where his chakra system started.
"Ngh…what the hell!?" Raven screamed, as Hinata frowned at him. "Attacking patients when they aren't at full health is not the way we do things in Konoha." Hinata said, and Raven sneered. "But it's okay for the patient to attack? Is that just a Leaf Village perk, or is it because you and Sasuke are in some kind of relationship?" Raven asked, and looked confused when Hinata turned a very dark crimson, while Sasuke coughed and looked away.
"Oh! I get it!!" Raven screamed, and smirked. "So Sasuke. How long until I get to see little Sasukes and Hinatas running around?" Raven asked, and Hinata turned even darker and Sasuke even blushed a little. "Shut up!" Sasuke said, growling. "As shy as Hinata is, I bet she would be a tiger in the sac. Though I'm sure you would know, right?" Raven asked, and Hinata fainted.
"Why are you so vulgar, Raven? Hinata fainted." Sasuke said, as Sakura walked in. "Oh hey Sasuke-kun. Glad to see you are- why is Hinata on the ground, passed out?" Sakura asked. "Raven got a little vulgar." Sasuke said. "I see." Sakura said, before she socked him.
"All the girls seem to have this urge to hit me!! Why the hell did you hit me!?" Raven screamed, glaring at Sakura. "That's for corrupting someone like Hinata!" Sakura said, and Raven glared. "That gives you no right to hit me, you bitch!!" Raven screamed in anger, and Sakura glared harshly.
"Care to repeat that?" Sakura asked with a dark glare. "I didn't think you also had hearing problems." Raven said, and him and Sakura held each other's glare. "Ugh. Both of you, drop the damn sexual tension between you two for 5 minutes and pick Hinata up off the ground." Sasuke said, and Sakura blushed brightly.
"What the hell are you talking about, cousin? Me and Pinky have no sexual tension between us. Just this weird air that feels like it needs to be quenched in some way." Raven said, and Sasuke sweat dropped while Sakura turned even brighter. (Raven is an idiot…) Sasuke thought to himself.
ShadowRonin: The end of the arc is here. And now where do I go from here? Well, if you keep in touch and read, then maybe you will know.
Side Note: There isn't going to be another chapter for a couple of weeks. I have run out of ideas on what I want to happen, and I need a while to grab a pencil and stencil out where I want the story to go. But fret not, because I plan on making a side story that fuses with my other story, Tales of a Sun Nin, and seeing how that rides out. It isn't going to be any longer than 25 chapters, but it's a nice change of pace. So look out for Tales of a Sunny Misadventure: The Grand Brawl. It stars most of my OCs from both fics, and the Konoha 12, along with Kakashi and Gai.