Abed had asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday. And this? Was not it.

"I just wanted to steal some stuff for my birthday! Maybe use my +16 Bluff to lie to some people!" Marrrrr complained as Lavernica tried to use one of their healing kits to patch him up. "How did that turn into fighting a horde of zombies? You can't even loot their bodies!"

"Would you stop moving around so much so I can finish this stitch?" Lavernica said irritably.

Marrrrr winced as she pulled the thread way too tight. "Can someone explain to me why the girl with -2 Healing is the one trying to stitch me up."

"Because you pissed everyone off and I'm the only one who was willing to help you." She looked over at their friends, who were all pointedly ignoring Marrrrr while busily stitching each other up. "And I have +2 Healing now, jerk. That oracle endowed me with the Spirit of Healing."

"I'm sorry if I'm a little upset that my birthday turned into this." He used his good arm to motion to the dozen or so zombie corpses laying around them.

"You were the one who wanted that blue gem so bad. I told you there was something weird about it."

"Yeah, because I'm going to trust that amazing +1 Perception you have."

Lavernica finished the stitch. "Okay, let's see how much health I so kindly recovered for you…" She got the total and looked up at Marrrrr guiltily.

"What?" Marrrrr practically growled.

"Two."

"Two!" Marrrrr shouted in disbelief. "You only got me two hit points back?!"

Gloria Steinam growled threateningly at Marrrrr as Lavernica stood, hand on her hips. "You know, instead of being a jerk about it, you should be thanking me for being nice enough to get you two hit points back, considering what an ass you've been tonight." She walked away, Gloria Steinam following.

Marrrrr sighed and looked down at his still bloody leg. "This his been a terrible birthday."

He sat that way for a few moments, until a blue vile entered his line of vision. He looked up to see Hector, a potion in her hand. "Take this."

Marrrrr sighed. "No, you need it. I know you only made that one healing potion this morning, and you took more damage than I did."

"It's okay. Zippity-Do used her Laying on of Hands on me. I'm fine."

Marrrrr still hesitated, knowing he didn't deserve her kindness.

"Consider it a birthday present."

After one more brief moment of consideration, he took the potion and swallowed it.

"I'm sorry your birthday turned out like this," Hector said as Marrrrr's wounds began to heal.

"Thanks."

"It still doesn't excuse what an epic jerk you were tonight, though."

"I know."

She stood in front of him uncertainly for a moment before reaching into her pocket. "And one more present." She pulled out a shiny, expensive looking spyglass. "I pulled this off the guard we killed this afternoon."

Marrrrr took the spyglass carefully. "Hector, this is… thank you."

Hector shrugged. "Happy birthday, Marrrrr."