Lavernica giggled as Bing-Bong and Zippity-Do dragged her through the door of the tavern where the rest of the group was waiting. "Bing-Bong, you're so sweet. You're just the sweetest. And cutest. And….awesomest."
Bing-Bong tried to keep the smile off of his face, knowing that Lavernica was saying these things because she was 'under the influence'. He sloppily plopped her into a chair, where she continued giggling. "Ha! Lavernica go boom."
"What the hell is wrong with her?" Marrrrr demanded.
"Things got dark at the magic store," Bing-Bong said with a sigh.
"She drank an unlabeled potion, thinking it was a healing potion, but it was actually a Potion of Intoxication," Zippity-Do explained. "She's been really annoying ever since."
"Come on, she's fine," Bing-Bong defended.
"What good is an intoxication potion? Isn't it cheaper to just drink a lot of ale?" mused Pierce Hawthorne.
Everyone turned to the resident alchemist. "It's also sort of like a truth serum. Shuts down your defenses, makes you say things you wouldn't say otherwise," Hector clarified.
Lavernica dropped her head to Bing-Bong's shoulder sadly. "When I was 16 I hit a raccoon and I didn't stop to see if it was okay. I was late for school."
"Great, this is going to be fun," Marrrrr grumbled.
"It's okay, Lavernica," Bing-Bong said, wrapping a comforting arm around his friend.
She tilted her head up to look at Bing-Bong. "You're okay, too. You're better than okay. You're totally the best. I've always thought so. The handsomest and the best and I just want to tie you down-"
"OKAY!" Marrrrr shouted, banging his hand on the table. "That's it. I don't want to have to listen to Lavernica drone on and on about her love for Bing-Bong."
Lavernica snorted. "Please, it's hardly as annoying as you to." She threw up a finger, pointing in the general direction of Marrrrr and…. Nobody else was quite sure who.
"What are you talking about, sweetie?" Zippity-Do asked patiently.
"Marrrrr and Hector. They're so annoying and gross with their feelings and their glances and how totally and disgustingly in love they are."
Marrrrr and Hector froze. Zippity-Do cleared her throat. "I think the potion is making you see things that aren't there.:
"Oh, please!" the half-elf exclaimed, lurching forward so that she was leaning on the table. "I can't be the only one who notices it, and Marrrrr wanting to kill every guy who looks at Hector, and how they always end up protecting each other, even when there are people with much lower health. Marrrrr only puts up a real effort in the fight if he knows that Hector is in trouble. He stole that potion from my bag to wake her up."
Everyone at the table fell silent. After a moment, Lavernica sang, "You looooooooove each other.:" She hiccupped and leaned back into Bing-Bong. "I don't feel good."
"Yeah, I don't feel too good either," Zippity-Do grumbled under her breath, looking between Marrrrr and Hector with suspicion and disapproval.