Chapter 3: Honesty

As Lenalee made her way down the corridor, she noticed that not much time had passed since she had left Allen alone with Link, and so she decided to make her way down to the cafeteria to bring Allen (with that insatiable appetite of his) some food.

Upon reaching the cafeteria area, she looked and smiled at Jeryy. "I'm going to be visiting Allen and thought I'd bring him some food," she said by way of order.

Grinning, the cook said, "Absolutely. I will load it with his favorites!"

"Thank you," she replied. She knew that Jeryy had a soft spot for Allen, as the young Exorcist did eat more than anyone else in headquarters. In a matter of moments, two trays appeared before her. She could see locate a big pile of dango that dominated one of the trays. Balancing the two full trays was more difficult than she originally thought, but she managed to make her way up the stairs and down the hall to the medical ward. Although the people she passed along the way offered to help, she declined with a cheerful smile, saying that she was managing just fine. She wanted to be able to talk to Allen alone as soon as possible. Upon approaching the door, she was beginning to think that she should have had a better game plan. Frowning at the door, she started to set one of the trays down, when the door opened in front of her. She was shocked to see her brother exiting Allen's room, rather than Link, as she had expected. "Nii-san!" she exclaimed.

"Leeeenaaaaaaleeeeee!" Komui said greeting her with utmost joy.

"What are you doing in there? I thought Allen was speaking Inspector Link."

Komui's ecstatic state dimmed, as he said, "The Inspector got the information that he wanted. He wasn't in there for long. As for myself, I needed to check up on General Walker myself to inspect him for remains of the 14th."

General Walker. Allen's official title always threw Lenalee off. She knew she would never think of him as anything other than "Allen," but her brother was correct in addressing him with his proper title. "How is Allen? I'm mean, General Walker," she corrected almost immediately, making the same mistake she had been making for over a year.

"Himself," her brother answered with a soft smile. "There hasn't been a sign of the 14th since Allen claims to have Exorcised him." Then something akin to suspicion flashed in his eyes. "You're bringing him food, aren't you? I don't remember the last time you brought me my meal, my little, beloved Lenalee."

Lenalee gave her brother a calculated look; he was being overprotective again. "Nii-san, that's not true," she replied. "It was just last week, when you were in the lab. You were asleep, and I got a frantic call from Reever saying that he couldn't wake you. I went up there to wake you myself, and I also brought you a snack to replenish your energy."

Komui's lower lip trembled. "I suppose that's true," he said, the little wine in his voice persisting.

"I'll bring you something later," she promised.

"You've been here to visit the General quite often," Komui commented, focusing the full weight of his gaze on her.

With that accusation, Lenalee froze momentarily. "I've been visiting all of my fellow Exorcists," she said lightly. The last thing she needed was her brother torturing a wounded Allen, because he believed her to have feelings for the other boy that she wasn't even sure that she had.

"You visit him the most... sometimes several times a day..."

"It's only because of the nature of his Innocence; he just needs more food than the others."

Komui seemed to accept her answer, although he did shoot her a glance that told her that he wasn't quite convinced. He opened the door to Allen's room for her and took his leave.

For all of her brother's paranoia and wrongful accusations in the past, this time Lenalee admitted to herself that he was keying in on something that might be there, even if it might be a one sided interest on her part. Shaking her head, she tried to clear it from her selfish thoughts. 'It's really not like that,' she told herself. 'I'm not sure it's like that ... I'm not sure if he thinks any more of me than a friend... I'm a terrible sister...' Those thoughts ran through her head, with the last phrase resounding heavily. For a brother that had given up everything to be with her, she would do anything to stay by his side. That's what she had pledged so many years ago. But then, she looked up and saw Allen looking at her, a gentle smile on his face, and she felt something in her waver.

"You're back," Allen said, the tone of his voice soft. "And you brought me food!"

'Ah,' she thought. 'Of course. The food.' Allen would naturally have the same reaction to anyone who brought him food. "You said you were hungry last time," she told him, setting the trays in front of him.

Allen wasted no time in starting to eat. She watched in silence wondering how she could bring up their earlier conversation naturally.

"Lenalee," Allen said, breaking into her thoughts. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she said automatically, her attention snapping back to him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she acknowledged that he had finished his meal without her even saying a word. Usually they were chattier, and that was truly an indicator that something was amiss. "Well..." she relented with a sigh.

"What is it?"

"About earlier--"

Allen cut her off. "I'm sorry about that. I should never have never brought it up."

"No!" she exclaimed. "I'm the one who's sorry. I... I should have let you speak. It's important for us to keep the communication open."

"I was only going to say useless things," Allen told her softly, his eyes dimming.

"I should have never left you alone with the Inspector!" Lenalee lamented, bowing her head and feeling tears gather in her eyes. She cursed her own helplessness and tried to keep the warmth in her eyes from falling. "I was just scared, and I'm sorry." And she really was sorry - sorry for not staying with him and for not letting him say what he needed to say. Now, everything was such a mess, and she didn't know where to begin anymore. While she was thinking of a way to get out of it, she felt a hand rest gently on hers. Her eyes found themselves focusing on red, gnarled flesh and blackened nails. And suddenly, Lenalee wasn't thinking anymore. She took his hand clasped it between her own, her fingers closing gently around the coarse flesh of Allen's inactivated innocence. "I'm sorry I didn't let you speak, but I'm here if you want to talk about anything." She lifted her head, eyes damp, tears not yet shed, and looked at him.

Something in her face must have surprised him, because she saw his eyes widen and heard him take in a breath sharply. Soon, that surprise was replaced with his normal smile, a smile that was warm and cold at the same time, a smile that betrayed no true emotion. "It's okay, Lenalee," he said.

"It's not okay," she told him sharply, angry that he wasn't being honest with her. "I know you're putting on that false smile. It hurts me to see it used against me, because I want to hear everything you have to say. Because ... because ..."

Again, she lowered her head. Maybe she was overstepping her boundaries; maybe she didn't care. However, the unfinished "because" rang in her head. 'Because you're important to me,' she thought, filling in the blank. It didn't feel quite right. 'Because I l—' She stopped mid-thought. With the way things were going, she didn't want to acknowledge it. If she didn't finish the thought, then it wouldn't be true, and they could go back to being fellow Exorcists, nothing more nothing less. Again, she heard herself uttering words of apology, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped you from speaking earlier today. I shouldn't have left you alone with Link. And ... I really shouldn't have come back tonight. It has only served to agitate us both." She tried to pull away, to leave, but Allen's hand tightened around her own; she could feel the knotted flesh pressing tightly against her own hand.

"Don't go," he said. That was all she needed to hear to stop her in her tracks. "I," he started. "I wanted to talk to you about something strange. It's not really related to battles, but at the same time it is."

"What is it, Allen?"

He paused, and she gave him an encouraging nod. "I see you," he finally blurted out.

"You see me?" she asked, quizzically. She wasn't quite sure what to make of his bizarre statement.

"In my subconscious. I see you when I feel helpless, and I feel as if I'm really connected to you. I can't explain it. It's crazy, though." He shook his head and let out a little laugh. "Never mind. It just sounds too crazy."

Lenalee looked at him, dumbfounded. Was it really possible that he had been trying to figure out their connection, too? "It's not crazy," she responded, when she could find her tongue. "It's not crazy at all. Tell me what you see."

Allen looked at her, surveying her face as if trying to determine her sincerity. "Sometimes I talk to you. You were there when I lost my arm. But sometimes ..." his voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. "Sometimes," he started again softly. "You don't see me. You're crying, and I feel like I should go to you. Like I need to go to you. I have that dream a lot. Why is that?"

Lenalee sat up, shocked. "I've had that dream. The destruction of the world. I'm the only one alive ... You're not there, not alive, at least. I don't see or feel you watching me."

"He has always stopped me from going to you, even though I feel like I must," Allen said automatically, as if not even really thinking how strange their intertwined dreams were.

"Who?" Lenalee asked.

"HIM ... the 14th," he ground out, eyes narrowed. "But I have to go to you. Why do I feel like that?"

"I ... I don't know," Lenalee answered honestly, her heart beginning to pound hard. All he was telling her about their connection, about their dreams. It was too much to be a coincidence. It had to mean something.

At that admission, Allen finally seemed to be rattled from his almost dream-like state. He blinked a couple of times, as if he were trying to work through the conversation that took place moments ago. "So, you don't seem really surprised. Why? Do you see me, too, sometimes?" He leaned in closer, as if in anticipation of her answer.

"I do," she replied speaking in hushed tones and moving closer to him, as if she were telling a secret. In a way she felt as if she were; the connection she felt with Allen was like nothing she had ever felt before, and she felt that confiding the truth with him was something that needed to be done as discreetly as possible, despite the fact that the two of them were alone. "You're the only one I ever see, and I can't explain it either. Is it the heart ... or ... something else?"

"I don't know," he breathed, equally as serious and quiet. "You're the only one I see, too. I mean, in the manner where I think that I'm actually with you. It doesn't make sense..."

As Allen trailed off, Lenalee realized how close they were together, whispering about a bond that only they felt and only they understood. Her eyes were focused on him, and his gaze was locked on hers. Their faces were only inches apart. Was it her imagination or did the air between them shine and crackle with electricity? Suddenly, she felt lightheaded. Her breath grew unsteady, and her pulse jumped uncomfortably. But she couldn't pull away; something wouldn't let her. She was captivated by the moment. When Allen lowered his head, so his forehead touched hers, her breath caught in her throat, and blood rushed to her face.

Was this what it felt like to fall in love? "Al...len?" she said, half a whisper or wonder, half a question. As she looked at him, peered into his eyes from such a short distance, she saw the confusion enter his eyes.

"Lenalee?" he asked, brows furrowed, as if he was deep in concentration.

After a moment of staring at with gray eyes, hazy with confusion, Lenalee saw something in them clear, as if he was on the brink of discovery. At that moment, Lenalee felt the butterflies in her stomach transform into birds that flapped violently. Pulse racing, she waited for Allen to make the next move. Slowly, she watched as his eyes closed, his mouth moving closer to hers. Slowly, he was moving so slowly, almost hesitantly, as if giving her a chance to change her mind and pull away. She let her own eyes slide shut, felt him close in, his face so close to hers that she felt his warm breath against her cheek.

'This is it,' she thought, her bottom lip trembling in anticipation…

And then the intercom in the medical ward went off. "Lenalee Lee! Report now to the Science Department!" Komui's voice rang out clearly into the room.

The magic faded away, as they were shocked back into reality by Komui's demanding voice. Lenalee pulled away from Allen guiltily.

"LEEENAAAAALEEEEEEEE!" Komui over the intercom said, his voice rising in desperation. "Your brother needs to SEEEEE you! Right now!"

She could make out sounds of struggle in the background. She heard static as her brother screamed, "Reever! Let me gooooooo! Let me go!" And then a distraught Reever cried out in pain, "Oww! You bit me, Supervisor!" Then the infirmary was silent.

"I-I'd better go," Lenalee said immediately.

Allen looked at her briefly, as if trying to decide whether or not to stop her. He turned away from her and said, "You probably should."

As she headed to the door, she looked back at Allen, just like she had done earlier that day. This time, he did not look at her as she made her exit, and she couldn't help but feel disappointed.

TBC

Seriously, I'll find the time to write. =)