Azure Sky Chapter 5, a misc. books fanfic

CH. 5

We took a five minute reprieve after the first couple of songs and were gearing up for the finale. I was a little nervous about this show, so far everything had

been going as planned but she still hadn't shown up. Maybe she didn't care, maybe she decided "fuck this guy" and just didn't show. I mean it's not hard to

miss her, for god's sake her hair is bright fuckin pink, I would have to be fuckin blind to miss that fuckin hair in this bright fuckin venue. Fuck. In good news

the show was being just as spectacular as I had planned, pyrotechnics, crazy lighting, stage gimmicks out the wazoo; this bitch was crazy. The boss was

definitely happy. He kept slapping me on the back yelling about how awesome I was for this and running back to his office to double check that the pile o' cash

that he had laying there was still real. When he said he was going to promote, he wasn't kidding. I don't know how many billboards, posters, and callers I saw

just on my way here. The show sold out almost five hours after it was announced, and the boss had seemed to almost double his money just on the tickets

alone, not including merch, drinks, and "VIP" access. Now when I say VIP in quotations, it's for good reason. VIP access is just a hole in the roof that the boss

had built a railing around, the hole came from an old skylight that use to be there, but has long since been removed. It did provide an excellent top down view

of the band, so whatever floats some moronic kids boat, I guess. We had decided on a two song finale. The first song was going to be fast paced but still tame

enough to just build up to the last song, where we were going to play our best song and our most well known song. We still had plenty of fireworks left over

but after the finale there was going to be an immediate shortage of fireworks in the immediate area. This was always the most nerve wracking time of the

show, the beginning of the show, while painful, was manageable. You were allowed one or two fuck ups because people knew it was the beginning, they

expected a fuck up. This was the finale though, no fuck ups, no do-overs, nada. If you mess up you're done. Most people would think that you would have

calmed down at this point in your career, and I say to them "what career?" Yeah, I have a huge following in this city, but that's it. If I fuck up here good bye

national recognition. I know I should only be in it for the music, which most of me is, but another part still wants to be big and famous, that childhood dream

of being a rockstar always stayed with me. I think that's why i've always had a problem getting close to people, I put my dreams and goals ahead of me and

shut everyone else out. Maybe it's childish holding on to all of these old dreams, but it's the only thing that makes me truly happy. So doesn't that at least

justify my actions in the slightest way. I was zoned out for the longest time before my guitarist snapped me out of my minds own machinations. "Hey, it's

almost time, you okay." he seemed concerned, what if he stopped the show? What if he stopped it before she got here? That can't happen it won't happen, I

have to know why she does this to me, I have to confront her. I jumped on him "Yeah i'm fine, can't a guy just sit and fuckin think for a minute? Christ." he

backed away appalled, maybe I was a bit too quick to judge there, but fuck em, I need this show. "Sorry for asking, shit." the last part was mumbled under his

breath, he was definitely angry with me. Shit, now this is going to hang over me for hours. I prepared myself for the finale, I felt ready but, something still felt

like it was hanging over me. An impending sense of failure constantly holding over me, but whatever, its probably fine. Bad things only happen to fools and

those who think they're fools. Walking back on stage we were met with a cavalcade of cheers. Taking my place on the mic, I signaled for the drummers count.

It finally began with a quick drum beat and guitar riff, to most it was simple but to me it was heavenly.

"He spent eighteen years livin life to the brim"

"He fought harder than men two times as strong"

"I don't think there was a day, where I saw him complain"

"Something higher come and help me carry on"

Again. Again I feel new, alive. No man could knock me from my perch, no god could hope to bring me down. Yet again the guitar blasted me to pieces and the drums recreated my heart beat, the bass was the snake against my spine.

"He was more than a friend to all of us"

"His selflessness was why he held on for so long"

"If i'm half the man, that he was"

"I'd be a man worth, watching carry on"

I don't know why I was even worried about some girl, when this was my utopia. My kingdom, with my loyal subjects. The world could burn, ashes could rain down, and life itself could end but I would be none the wiser. Fuck her, fuck all of them, they could never measure to the elation I feel now.

"And I won't be fine but thanks for askin"

"My heart is heavier than your lead"

"It don't feel right trading a dollar for a dime"

"Lord above why do you leave us all for dead"

But thats when I saw it. That hair. That fuckin hair in this fuckin venue with these fuckin people. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. God why now, why in the middle of a show. Why do I always have to look out at the crowd at least once. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!

"He spent eighteen years living life to the utmost"

"Shifted my entire paradigm"

"Not a minute goes by, where I don't think of all those days"

"In that short lived eighteen years careening by"

I stumbled over the entire last verse, of course it had to be in the middle of a song. She couldn't have shown up at the end of the song or, I don't know, on time! The guitarist was shooting me worried looks, I nodded towards, her, and he nodded back showing that he understood the situation. He started to improvise guitar riffs and tricks during the solo to distract the crowd away from the last verse and towards him. Thankfully the crowd was lost in there own drunken stupor to notice the hack job I just pulled. I had to calm down, this is what you wanted, you wanted her here. You need her to see this.

"And I won't be fine but thanks for askin"

"My heart is heavier than your lead"

"It don't seem right, tradin a dollar for a dime"

"Lord above why do you leave us all for dead"

I took a moment to gasp for air. I finished, I finally finished. Now I can fully concentrate on the final song. I took another quick peek at the audience, seeing her looking at me. I smiled and waved but she didn't wave back, she seemed more angry than anything. Probably angry at herself because she was late. I walked to the back, quickly wheeling out the only instrument that I could fully play. The large, beautiful, solid oak, grand piano. The crowd knew what this meant. The cheers became screams and my elation soared.I began to play, one note at a time. A simple note repeated, yet in the absolute quiet of The Garage, it felt powerful.

"When there's nowhere else to run"

"Is there room for one more son"

"one more son"

"If you can't hold on, if you can't hold on"

"Hold on"

The band began to play, swelling in volume and magnitude. I didn't think or feel I just played. This beautiful tune.

"I wanna stand up, I wanna let go"

"You know, you know - no you don't, you don't"

"I wanna shine on in the hearts of men"

"I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand"

"Another head aches, another heart breaks"

"I am so much older than I can take"

"And my affection, well it comes and goes"

"I need direction to perfection, no no no no"

"Help me out"

"Yeah, you know you gotta help me out"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"You know you gotta help me out "

"And when there's nowhere else to run"

"Is there room for one more son"

"These changes ain't changing me"

"The cold-hearted boy I used to be"

"Yeah, you know you gotta help me out"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"You know you gotta help me out"

"You're gonna bring yourself down"

"Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down"

The music slowed to a crawl, yet again, I felt the feeling. This feeling, this feeling, I...I can't feel it. Nothing, absolute nothing. It surrounded me, filled me. I couldn't breathe or think or feel. Why couldn't I feel it. Maybe I'm over reacting. If I finish the song I know I can feel again. I have to feel...this. I need to feel alive.

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

"Yeah, you know you gotta help me out"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"You know you gotta help me out"

"You're gonna bring yourself down"

"Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner"

"Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down"

"Over and again, last call for sin"

"While everyone's lost, the battle is won"

"With all these things that I've done"

"All these things that I've done"

"(Time, truth, hearts)"

"If you can hold on"

As the song ended and the crowd erupted into applause, only one thing rang through my head. Why, why, why, why, why, why. Why don't I feel anything.