A/N: Hello again my pretties. Here we are again with another posting for you, chapter 2. SURPRISE! (Cos it's earlier than expected) I apologize to the guys that read my normal weird stuff. I didn't make very clear that this was a canon fic; my first time writing canon, so please bear with us. We also understand chapter 1 was a little Arizona-centric which is why we decided to post sooner rather than later because of the confusion. There won't be centralized heavy on one or the other main character but there will be plenty of switch off back and forth for a while so another thing to bear with us about. There's a lot of bearing going on but never-fear, we promise some drama, some comedy, some comfort, a little angst, some romance, and a bit more of the comedy stuff on this rollercoaster ride ahead. We had loads of fun writing together and hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoyed writing. This chapter would not be possible without the awesome letter Z whom painstakingly beta'd for us (two dialects, two ways of thinking, one story... the woman is a superhero). Gene and all her support that NEVER goes unnoticed and is always very welcomed and appreciated. And anybody else that put forth their powers of evil to help us in this endeavor. Thank you everybody for the reviews and alerts. Hope you enjoy. Sadie & Nic
Chapter Two : The Woman of my Nightmares
Don't Look Under The Bed
"I used to walk tall around here. I used to walk tall. Then, came George. He took off at least an inch, and Erica went and left me. That shaved off a few more. I got shorter. All that humiliation makes you shorter. So yeah, I am scared of getting hurt. Cos' one more personal disaster right now, would cut me off at the knees."
Rolling over, she felt the coolness of damp material underneath her cheeks. Callie was semi-aware of the naked body lying next to hers who she didn't want to wake. Wiping at the tears, she settled down trying to make herself comfortable; to relax her mind into a state of dreamlessness. Except drifting off again she felt the dreams returning, mocking her once more reminding her of memories that six years had not yet tamed.
"There will be people lining up for you."
"Want to give me some names."
"I think you'll know."
"Dear God, I need your guidance. I kissed a peds surgeon."
"You kissed a peds surgeon?"
"I never thought I'd end up with a woman God, but, I mean not until lately, but that's not the problem. The problem is the peds thing. She's, she's perky... and has butterflies on her scrub cap. But she's also hot ... really hot. So, help me get over the butterflies. Amen."
Turning herself again, Callie pulled the sheet tighter around her body, gathering it around her legs as she did so, her subconscious trying to make her feel more secure. The soft sheet slipped from the naked skin, a light snort as the change in temperature hit causing goosebumps to the body lying next to her.
"Do you know what I was doing before they brought over the cheque? I was counting in my head, trying to figure out how I was going to buy food for the rest of the week if my half was 75 bucks, because I don't have 75 bucks...because my father disowned me and has cleared out my bank account. I am broke, and I am exhausted Arizona. I'm working in the ER because I need the money. 6 people died on my watch today and I am fried. I wanted to stay in last night. I thought, I thought that last night would be the night for us. You know? Our night. But, you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant. I can't do that. I can't."
"I have spent the last month trying to convince myself that I don't need kids to be happy. Really trying, giving lectures to myself, saying it out loud to you and to Mark and turning myself inside out to want what you wanted. And then I stopped for a second, and I thought, did you ever try to imagine what it would be like to change for me? Because I don't think you did. What you did was you dismissed my dream... my dream... which says to me that you don't give a rat's ass if I'm happy. I never understood squat about who you are. And now I do, and I don't like it."
"Oh, really? Really, really? I'm supposed to change for you? Why, because we're in love? I mean, because you fall in love all the time... men, women..."
"When are you gonna forgive me for not being a good enough lesbian for you?"
"When you do something to convince me that you're falling in love with me and not with being in love. When you do something to convince me that I'm different than George O'Malley, Erica Hahn, Mark Sloan or the girl at the coffee cart. I mean, you have a huge heart, and I love that about you. But I don't trust you. Why would I?"
"I don't wanna have kids if it means I can't be with you."
"We'll have kids. We'll have all kinds of kids... I can't live without you and our 10 kids."
She twisted again, the sheets now completely wrapped around her voiding the other body of any warmth. As the cold air hit it sent shivering alarms to the brain. Piercing blue eyes adjusted to the darkness as they looked upon the whimpering bundle under the green sheets. Unsure whether or not to wake the dreaming woman, an arm was placed gently over a curvy hip and bodies fit together perfectly with hope that she could feel the presence and a sense of calm would ease the nightmares away.
"You are ruining Africa for me".
"No I'm not."
"You are."
"Okay fine, I don't want to go to Africa, but I do want to be with you."
"You stay here and be happy. And I'll go there and be happy."
"If you get on that plane and go without me we are done. Do you hear me? We are over."
"We are standing in the middle of an airport screaming at each other. We are already over."
"My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get. I don't want to see you because I turned my life upside down for you and you walked away because for a week I was cranky. You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life. Get your crap out of my apartment."
"Promise me, you won't let them take my leg!"
"I promise."
The whimpering grew to almost strangled cries. Callie felt strong arms around her this time not caring to be quiet and gentle but to instead wake her, pull her from her torture. She felt herself get untangled from the sheets as she was begging her subconscious to let her escape back to reality; she knew what was coming yet she could not open her eyes in time to make it stop. She never could.
"She's not though, she's not my wife…I don't know who she is. Did this happen with Cristina? It's like you're looking at her but there's nothing inside. It's like she's just this shell all the Arizona's been scooped out and she's just this shell now and I want her back and I don't think I'll ever get her back if we cut off that leg so, I'm going to save it. I've made a plan to save it."
"Callie, please don't run."
"What?"
"It's all been awful and I've been awful, but I'm starting to feel like myself again."
"She's dying"
"It's the leg"
"It's the leg"
"Cut it off"
Callie could tell that she was being spoken too, soothing words trying to wake her. It had been happening more often than she could remember in the six years since her marriage met its untimelyruin. Always the same, time and again, her brain not letting her escape, reliving it over and over again…haunting her.
"Hey is that…is that Arizona's ring pinned to your scrub top?"
"You weren't on the plane Callie. You weren't in the woods and you DID NOT hear Meredith crying for Lexie and Mark moaning in pain, or hear me scream in pain. You weren't there and you keep acting like you were and you weren't and it wasn't your experience."
"I lost Mark, you almost died!"
"I Lost Mark, YOU almost died. YOU WEREN'T ON THE FRICKEN PLANE! You want it the street cred, the badge of honor, the warrior wounds. Then great, stick out your leg and I will go get a bone saw and we'll even the score…!"
"It always comes back to the leg."
"I trusted you more than anybody, more than anyone in my life and you decided to cut it off.."
"TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!"
"You didn't lose anything! I did, I DID"
"Apparently I lost you."
A sob broke free, tearing Callie violently from her psyche. She turned into the waiting arms, trying desperately to hide the sadness from her eyes as she looked into the baby blues only inches from her face. She gave a small, weak smile as she felt lips lightly kiss the tip of her nose. She felt the warm breath leave the sexy mouth as the calming words whispered in the darkness made their way to her ears relaxing her senses.
"Well since we are both awake and Barbara doesn't bring Sofia back till later tomorrow I think it would be a great idea if we took full advantage of this naked when small eye's aren't here rule that you do love to enforce. What do you say?"
Callie could only make what sounded like a mumbled yes as she felt the weight upon her thighs and the soft lips lightly brush her neck before, they continued their descent.
Hello, My Name is ...the real Slim Shady!
"So, wanna talk about these dreams that are terrorizing our sleep? They've been escalating all week long." Callie pulled the sheet covering her nude body tighter around her frame as she reached for her coffee mug trying hard not to physically cringe at the question. Was it cold in here? She felt cold and the sheet was doing little to warm her sweat-coated body from the chill in the air. Trying to avoid the question a moment longer, she ran her fingers through her tousled hair, the knots more than just sleep but nightmare hair mixed with sex hair too. Primping wasn't working as her hand kept getting caught giving her nothing to occupy herself any longer. She knew very well she had to come clean because this was important and she refused to keep secrets. There'd be no breaking of promises, no secrets, no walls this time around. This time around. That scared the crap out of Callie. She knew these dreams were in part because things were getting romantically serious for the first time since she left Seattle.
Dating had always been just something to keep her occupied when Sofia was out of town, never getting in too deep because she was scared what too deep would do to her.
"I, uh, I … Sofia's coming home." Callie couldn't form the right words.
"I know, we discussed in depth what we were going to tell her." The pause brought about matching smug grins on both faces. "About us."
"I know. I know. It's just the memories become painfully real anytime Arizona is back in the picture. I'm terrified I'm going to get that call from my daughter telling me she wants to stay in Seattle with her Mama instead of returning home, to me. And it makes me bitter. And it makes me scared." Callie paused taking in a deep breath. Communication Calliope Torres. You promised communication so here it goes, she psyched herself. "And you scare me so they're worse than usual. I … I am scared. Every time I've done this in the past it's always ended so poorly and I'm not sure I can handle another serious heartbreak. I love you. I do. Please know that but I also need a little time to get used to everything; these wounds never healed. We never … Arizona kicked me out of Seattle so fast I don't think the plane had landed before we were boarding it. And I'm scared that it all comes down to me, that I'm tainted and you're going to figure it out and walk away from me too."
"I love you, Callie. I'm in this for good and bad, ex-wife baggage included. Although this," Tony pulled the sheet down exposing Callie's breasts admiring them before shaking from the daydream. "Before this." Tony stopped again and lent over to tenderly kiss the on show nipple and was immediately pleased by the response of a moan before regaining balance, making eye contact so that Callie heard and saw that every word was the truth. "We have been friends for years and I know you...the person you are and enough of your past, I want to be here if you will let me." Tony paused a moment, collecting thoughts. "Maybe … have you ever thought about tying up loose ends with her? Getting closure? I don't want this to affect us if I can help you get past it." Callie looked up at the sympathetic eyes staring back at her. It had been so long that she had felt a calming relief just from a simple look of love. "I want to help you in any way that I can."
"Just give me the time to work through them; it's the only closure I'm entitled to anyway. I think that once Sofia meets you and we can move forward from that, they'll calm down. She's a mind of her own and you are the first person in her life that I've loved aside from her. I guess aside from everything, I'm scared of her reaction. And it's probably amplifying these stupid fucking dreams." Callie admitted. "I love you, Tony. And as much as that scares me, it excites me too."
"Hey, we'll be fine. I'm pretty great, your kid is going to eat me up. And the crap with your ex-wife, this is her loss. Look at you, the whole package Callie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. This I Love You hump? The scary shit? We've reached it, we're over it. Those dreams are only screwing with you because you have no faith in yourself but I'm pretty wonderful so have faith in me and I'll worry about the rest."
"You're full of yourself, you know that, right?" Callie laughed feeling lighter and less worried over her fears. They were only natural but Tony's faith in her made them a little easier to swallow.
Not The Mama
"I don't wanna go! I just got home and haven't seen you all summer. I wanna spend my day with only you, Mommy." Sofia stood in her mother's doorway arms crossed sporting a less than amusing scowl.
They'd been having this argument for two days and for two days Callie couldn't get her daughter to see this as a good thing. Sofia threw tantrums, tried to get herself in trouble and grounded in order to get this meeting canceled; she even faked feeling sick but Callie wasn't having any of it. She punished Sofia's antics with taking away television time, outright refusing to give in and ground her. She had her colleague give her a physical and only when she was threatened with the idea of having to get a shot for her fake illness did she recant her sick story. And as the tantrums were ignored it only fueled Sofia's attempts. Callie was certain Arizona didn't have to put up with this shit from their daughter with her dating life and she wasn't going to take it herself. She was allowed to date. She was allowed to be happy. Maybe it was her fault, she hadn't dated anybody with Sofia's knowledge thus far; maybe she should have introduced the idea years ago to warm Sofia up for a serious relationship and possibly more. But Callie wasn't going to cave, they were doing this.
"Sofia, please. It means a lot to me, you meeting Tony. Remember what I told you? That your Mama will never ever be replaced. I loved your Mama very much but Baby, Tony is very special to me and I want the two of you to meet. You know Mommy has never asked you something so important so please can you be the big girl that I know you are and finish getting dressed." Callie sighed as she watched her daughter exit the room in a full on temper tantrum stomp but not before she got her last words in, hitting Callie directly where intended, right in the heart.
"I've just got home from being with Mama and you're forcing me to forget her already. You're trying to replace her. I won't let you." Sofia slammed the door on the way to her room and grabbed her phone. She wasn't having this, she had been used to having to interfere with Mama's love life out in Seattle but here, with Mommy, she hadn't even realized there had been anyone. She just knew that her moms still loved each other but she also realized that if her mother was introducing her to this new person then it was serious. Sofia Torres had to step up her game and test her acting skills.
Liar Liar Pants on Fire
"Please can you get my Mama!" Sofia begged the woman, making certain to cry hard and loud on the telephone knowing that the voice on the other line was probably a scrub nurse. Somebody else answering Mama's cell could only be for that reasoning.
Young sobbing filled the quiet OR causing Arizona to look up at the nurse holding the phone.
She knew those tears; she knew them very well. "Sofia calm down, I'm in the middle of surgery and I need you to breathe and tell me what's going on. Are you hurt?"
"Yessss." Sofia sobbed into the speaker phone.
"What? Where are you hurt? Where's Mommy?" Arizona pleaded with her daughter for answers.
"It's not me."
"Then what's wrong Sofia?" Arizona took a deep breath before continuing. "Where's Mommy? Is she hurt? Where's Gramma? Sofia, what's going on?" Arizona started to panic so much that Cristina, assisting her in the surgery, nudged the peds surgeon aside taking over for a few moments until Arizona could calm down.
"Mommy's ... Mommy's ..." Sofia hiccuped through her sobs. "Mommy's getting married."
The words echoed through the quiet operating room. "What?" Arizona stuttered pushing Cristina aside and resuming on the young girl on the table.
"Mommy's getting married. She's ... she's getting married to a poo poo head. Tony. The poo poo head is Tony." Sofia cried harder.
A quick silence followed as Arizona's breath caught in her throat."Sofia, Mommy's allowed to get married. You want her happy don't you?" Arizona remained calm even if her heart was
shattering into a million pieces for her daughter ... and her own loss.
"No. She can't. She ... I need you, Mama." Sofia begged.
"Sweetie, you will be fine. I'm in surgery but I will call you when I get out and we'll talk about this, okay? This isn't the end of the world, baby. Go wash your face and read for a while and I'll call you back." Arizona tried to reason with her daughter knowing this was not the time or place for such a conversation.
"Please come. I need you. You have to come, Mama. You can't …" Sofia smiled into the phone through her tears. Her constant eavesdropping had finally come in handy. Nobody ever suspected her of this ability so neither her parents or grandparents went out of their way to converse out of her range. Without her device it wasn't an issue but just because she wasn't supposed to wear it at night didn't mean there weren't times she would put it in anyway especially close to her birthday or Christmas. She'd never heard about fun surprises or her holiday presents but here, this had been in her arsenal for quite a while. "You can't abandon me, Mama."
Arizona inhaled audibly. Sofia. Hit. The. Mark. Arizona's biggest fears. Wasn't this what she cried to her mother over and over about since the divorce? Wasn't this exactly what she feared she'd done all those years before?
Cristina looked from the obvious heart broken peds surgeon to the nurse holding the phone and back again before her mind was made up. Stripping off her gloves, she grabbed the phone taking it off speaker.
"Hey Little Doc, it's Aunt Cristina. Your mom and I will be there in three days. You just keep calm and we'll see you then."
Arizona shot a glare up in Cristina's direction but before she could object, Cristina hung up the phone.
"Cristina!" Arizona yelled as she clipped the sutures, finishing up on their patient. "You can't do that. Why did you tell her we'd be there? We have work and this is something she needs to work out with Callie. I can't go over there and tell my ex-wife she can't get remarried."
Arizona growled trying hard to reign in her anger and stop the scene being made in front of everybody in the OR.
"Yes we can." Cristina smiled.
"No, no we can't. Now I get to call my daughter back and make everything ten times worse than it already is for her. Thanks Dr. Yang."
"Yes. We. Can. We own the hospital and because technically I'm still your boss as I own more of this hospital than you do and that's my goddaughter crying and needing us to come out there, we're going to go. You don't have to stop Callie from marrying somebody else and ruining your daughter's life for good. So what if Sofia gets another mama that's around her all the time and might take your role from you. She might not love her more than you."
Cristina dared Arizona to argue with her. She didn't often use her position on the board to get her way but when she did everybody knew they couldn't argue.
Tigress Sofia and Her Pretty New Claws
Sofia smiled as she put her mobile into her bag. Finishing tidying herself up, she quickly changed into her dress that Arizona had bought her along with the matching shoes. She was just finishing buckling the strap when she heard the doorbell ring. She rolled her eyes when she clearly heard the rambling Spanish come from her nervous mother.
Quietly moving to the crack of her door she watched as Callie straightened her clothes before she opened the front door and embraced the person who entered. Securing a sweet smile on her face she entered the living room with a small skip seeing her Mommy happy was great but it wasn't her Mama.
"Hello you must be Sofia. Aren't you pretty!" Tony spoke quietly, nerves apparent in the accented voice.
"Huh? What was that you...Mommy?" Sofia scrunched her eyes up and looked at her mother. Who scowled at her for being rude. "What, I didn't hear the mumble." Sofia softened her expression.
"Hi, you must be Sofia. Don't you look pretty." This time Tony didn't croak, speaking louder.
"You like it?" Sofia beamed doing a curtsy to show off her dress. "My mama bought it for me. She lives in Seattle but she's gonna move here one day so we can be a family again." She smirked at the stranger.
"Sofia Robbin!" Callie growled at her daughter. "You are out of line." I'm sorry. She turned and mouthed to Tony who replied with a smile and short head shake telling her it was unnecessary.
"Your Mommy has told me so much about you, I feel like I already know you."
"Hmm it's funny Mommy has never mentioned you." Sofia continued smiling sweetly as Callie closed her eyes and rubbed her brow. Tony saw this and took Callie's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze telling Callie not to worry. This was the type of reaction they all expected.
"Seriously that is a beautiful dress you have on…and those shoes I can see your Mama has great fashion sense." Tony tried taking the compliment route again including her Mama in conversation. However Sofia had enough experience with Arizona's dating and knew that this was probably how their introduction was going to go. All conversations with adults revolved around what you had on, telling you how pretty you were, and this was just playing into her plan to make Tony as uncomfortable as possible.
"Thank you. My Mama is so awesome. She bought it for me while I was with her this summer. It's beautiful, she really does have awesome taste. I'm sure my Mommy has mentioned her, she's a baby surgeon …she saves babies. Nobody is as awesomer as her." Sofia threw a glare over her shoulder in Callie's direction before making her way over to her doll's house in the corner turning her back on and ending all conversation with adults.
"Tony, do you want to take a seat for a moment I just have a few more things to do before we leave. Sofia," She hollered over her shoulder in a tone of voice that was one not to be argued with. "Get Tony a can of soda please." Callie could see the uneasiness in the clear blue eyes, thinking that if Tony had something to concentrate on then the nervousness would ease. Callie offered a small smile as she watched Sofia spin and make her way into the kitchen.
"Remember, she doesn't bite and she'll love you like I do." Giving Tony a quick peck, Callie made her way to her room to finish getting her stuff together.
"So Sofia, did you have fun at your Mama's this summer? Your Mommy sure missed you. She talked about you non-stop. And your Mama too. Lots and lots. I'm actually a surgeon myself and am well aware of your Mama's reputation. She is a pretty awesome baby doctor." Sofia listened as well as she could Tony's voice just reaching her as she pulled the step over to the fridge and pulled out a can. "I think we can be friends, I'm not here to replace your Mama. I'm here because your Mommy is very special to me." Rolling her eyes Sofia looked at the can in her hands before smiling cheekily and shaking the can as best she could making as little sound possible. Walking over to Tony she handed the can over before going back to playing with her dolls house in the corner.
Callie was just picking her bag off her bed when she heard the gas escape from the can and the sound of it spraying everywhere. Hurrying to the door she witnessed Sofia giggling in the corner, Tony stood with drenched clothes.
"I'm really sorry, I dropped the can in the kitchen and I thought it would be okay." Sofia feigned innocence. "Oh look you're all wet and sticky. You better just go home and get changed." Sofia watched as Tony replicated the sweet smile she projected before looking at Callie.
"How about we just order in?" Tony stood shaking arms out to rid the majority of the liquid and all with a sweet and fake smile; Sofia's face fell flat, it looked as though getting rid of Tony was going to take a little more. "I still have some of my clothes here from when I stayed last week. Would it be alright to grab a shower?" Tony again smiled, a bit more relaxed, this time to try ease the panic seen on Callie's features before turning back to Sofia staring straight at her in almost a battle of wills. "Sofia. Why don't you tell your Mommy what kind of pizza you would like and we can just have a nice night in. Maybe watch a movie, get your favorite ice cream. It's my treat. Callie, you know my choice." Tony walked past Callie and gave her a kiss on the cheek and whispered that everything was fine.
Once Tony left the room Callie scowled at her daughter who just passed the look off.
"Mommy I would love mint choc chip...with sprinkles, oh chocolate and the rainbow ones." Sofia smiled sweetly and went back to playing with her dolls house. When she knew her mother couldn't see her face she let her smile melt, she had to step this up.