A/N: Thank you again for all the reviews, we really love hearing from people. We love that we're keeping you on your toes with guessing but don't look so hard for answers, they'll come about soon enough. Also remember, they're fictional characters with fictional lives ... they don't need anymore drama added to their stories so keep the hateful attacks on fictional characters down to a minimum, yeah? Thank you. This is the last update until next week, we hope you enjoy and have a great weekend.

Thank you to my ever growing family of happy betas always keeping me in check. Get it... check? Haha, cuz they check my work. Haha. Okay, lame. ... Thank you our newest grammar junkie Shinata-Riyoko and as always Zoe & Gene.

Nic & Sadie

Chapter 4 Agent 666: Cristina Yang Reporting For Duty...

Nobody. Calls. Me. Chicken.

"Arizona! Will you please unlock the door? You'd better not be doing what I think you're doing." Cristina stood, banging her fist against the hardwood, panelled door. The door shook on its hinges, but did not open. Right now, she was glad, as the thought of having to watch the blonde say a prayer to the porcelain God of stupidity; well it wasn't really top of her list of priorities. "Look knock twice for dead, ten times for alive." Cristina snickered when there was just one big thud of something being thrown at the door in annoyance. "I'll take that as alive?"

Cristina threw herself on the bed, having a quick look around the room. "I can't believe they fucked up our booking. I'm phoning down to reception." Cristina yelled before picking up the phone and pressing 0 to connect directly to the front desk. "I know you wanted this; you did it on purpose because you want me. I know I'm hot, but the only thing getting into these very tight pants tonight is my little battery operated friend." Cristina laughed again as something else hit the door as she waited for someone to answer her call.

"Yes, good evening to you too. I'm hoping you can help me. I'm in room 265 ... yes the room is fine. No, no problems with the room itself, but we were supposed to get two rooms." Cristina rolled her eyes as she heard the rehearsed excuses leave the receptionist's mouth. Painting on a smile that forced her change in voice to more upbeat, she started talking again. She had found, through many hotel stays for various conferences, that staying firm but pleasant was the way to deal with people who couldn't see your less than amused stare. "Oh okay, I understand that you are overbooked, but I have the booking receipt right here and it clearly says that we have paid for two adjoiningrooms. This is your establishment's fault, and I will be expecting a full refund of the missing room's cost, as well as several discounts for your mistake." Cristina listened to the apologies from the receptionist, while she heard the bathroom door unlock. She lowered her voice. "Thank you so much. Also please, could you call this room every thirty minutes starting at 4 A.M. through to 9 A.M. tomorrow morning for wake-up calls? Excellent, thank you very much." Cristina hung up, as she took in the dishevelled looking woman now holding herself steady against the doorframe.

"Why are you okay? You drank more than I did and had more on the plane." Arizona held her hand to her mouth, as she felt the remainder of her stomach contents still trying to escape. She knew that it wasn't just the alcohol. One part alcohol consumption, one part fear of flying, mix that together with the prospect of seeing Callie again, and you get one turbulent tsunami just waiting to take out everything in its path.

"Listen, obviously you're being a wimp, and now we can't get another room. They've double booked. So, I was just thinking that since you are a chicken," Cristina was enjoying the jabs; they were supposed to be encouraging in her twisted way, but Arizona might just be too far sick to get her underlying points. "Since you'd rather sit here and pout in the room, and that's not something I can or want to deal with, I thought I'd go stay at Callie's. She loves my company, and that way I get to test the water. I'll go in behind enemy lines and see what this new fiancé is like. I'll report back to you. I always thought I'd be an awesome spy...but don't think I'm taking a bullet for you, if Callie suspects anything, I'm telling her you put me up to it."

"You can't tell her I'm here!" She was already panicking and didn't need Cristina to make things worse. "Mom doesn't even know I'm here, if she did she wouldn't be able to not tell Callie. I'm not ready for her to know yet, I'm not ready." Arizona clearly looked petrified. Cristina actually did feel sorry for the other woman, but only for a second as she lay herself down next to Cristina.

"Ew, you smell like a hooker's thong!" Cristina rolled Arizona away from her, which resulted in the sound of a groan almost growl, as the motions of the bed caused her stomach to roll again. "Listen, relax, and get some sleep, I've asked reception not to disturb. It's nine o'clock here, so I'll just grab a taxi and get straight to Callie's and of course, straight to bed for me too, that flight has taken it out of me. I'll call you once you are refreshed in the morning." Cristina smirked.

Before Cristina grabbed her suitcase she moved over to Arizona and switched on the bedside table lamp, she noticed that Arizona was out as a drunken snore left her throat. Making her way to Arizona's phone she took down Callie's address, almost waking Arizona with her laughter as she repeated the door number 2469. Two for Sixty-nine? It didn't get any better than that.

"Priceless!"

Don't It Always Seem To Go That You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

"Do you want me to go pick up Princess for you from Barb's. We can get pizza and beers…watch a bit of football that I taped earlier and then when the little princess is frolickingin her unicorn cave we can have some real fun?" Callie watched as the cocky grin was joined by a wiggle of his thick, but well sculpted eyebrows.

"While that could be a wonderful evening, Lover, the little tyke is actually staying at Barbara's tonight. After the failed date attempts of the last few days I needed a break and a drink so she's keeping her for a bit of relief for me. So I can totally see kicking your ass at pool being in our immediate future?" Callie picked up a cushion from the sofa and threw it at the well-built man.

As Callie felt the retaliating cushion hit the back of her head, she yelped when she heard the doorbell ring. Looking at each other, Callie tried to pull her frame up from her seated position, but instantly felt herself pulled back as both fought to get to the door first.

"Ow you perv, that was right on the boob!" Callie yelled while opening the door, coming face to face with Cristina. As she looked at the confused features on the other woman, Cristina quickly took in the sight of a man; a very handsome and sexy man wrapped in a very intimate embrace around her old friend. Callie couldn't stop the smile that graced her face and she launched forward removing her body from his arms and practically tackling the other woman, completely catching Cristina off guard.

"No touchie-touchie!" Cristina pulled away from Callie and began to straighten her clothes out before she picked up her suitcase and side stepped Callie and the stud. "Now, where is my room?"

"Cristina, what are you doing here?" Callie asked confused. "Seems nothing has changed though, I see you are as blatant as ever ... can't say I've missed that." Callie closed the door and moved into the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge and throwing it in the lone male's direction.

"What, do I not get offered?" Cristina asked showing her hands in the air.

"Here, do you want one, Your Rudeness?" Callie lifted another bottle from the fridge and began moving over toward her.

"Yeah right. Now, where you taking me tonight? I need proper alcohol." Cristina shook her head and turned up her nose. "But first..." Callie watched as Cristina made her way over to her sofa table and placed her cell down before she started rummaging around in her bag. Pulling out the charger she was about to connect the plug to the socket when Callie realized what she was doing.

"Cristina NO! Don't..." She screamed. "Faulty socket, it will blow the power in the whole damn apartment building! I'm still waiting for the super to fix it." Callie explained a bit calmer.

"So why haven't you covered it up...sheesh!"

"Because there was no need to when everyone here, you know invited guests, all know about it. Anyway, just don't please, the last time it blew; the power was off for at least two hours. The stairs are a bitch and a half."

"Since my dear girl here has forgotten her manners. It's a pleasure to meet you, Cristina; Callie's spoken a lot about you. My names To…" The man had moved over and stuck a hand out waiting for a handshake before Cristina rudely cut him off mid-sentence.

"Was I talking to you? No, I don't think so!" Like she needed an introduction. Of course she knew who this man, with his hands all over her friend, was and she wasn't about to entertain the thoughts that they were going to be buddy-buddy. No, this man was supposed to bethe enemy.

"CRISTINA! Did you leave your manners back in Seattle?" Callie hissed.

"No Callie, has it really been that long? I don't do manners. Now will you and Twinkle Toes here ... by the way that's a very manly beard to go with your pedicure. Is that shirt meant to be that tight or did your mommy put it in the wrong laundry setting? Okay, what was I saying? Oh yeah, drinks, yes? Or really should I just say, where?" Cristina watched, as the man seemed to be having a conversation with himself in his head before he spoke.

"Oooooh I like her, Queen of the Hornet's Nest. Let's take her with us, Babe. She should be bundles of fun. Let me just get my wallet, left it in the bedroom after the shower. Back in a moment." And with that he downed the rest of his bottle and disappeared through the door.

"Cristina, spill why are you really here? And without bothering to call me before you showed up, uninvited?" Callie looked at her suspiciously.

"Just ... you know, thought I'd come and take in the sights that Pennsylvania has to offer and visit my goddaughter. I take that responsibility very seriously!" Cristina replied with an unreadable shrug of the shoulders.

They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot

The entire taxi ride, Cristina watched his hands constantly make contact with something of Callie's. The three of them had to squeeze into the back, as the driver had dropped a cup of coffee on the front passenger seat; and because it had been so close to the end of his shift, he had apologized for the inconvenience, but told them had it been an issue that they could wait for another taxi. After watching the two climb in, Cristina moved to the other side so that Callie ended up in having to shift to the middle.

Cristina wished she had something to tie his flailing arms down with, in such a cramped place she wanted to say something, but for once bit her tongue. Callie didn't seem to be very welcoming of her usual rude demeanor, and she needed to do recon, not destroy any chance she had at getting on the inside with what people saw as her foul attitude. But when this guy spoke he seemed to emphasize everything with his hands, which would then result on them resting on Callie's thighs or arms, and more than once she caught his hands on Callie's chest. Cristina felt his complete disregard for personal space was completely out of order.

So glad when the taxi pulled up at the bar, Cristina practically launched herself out the door toward the bar. A blur of yellow as the door swung open, left Callie having to apologize to the driver and pay the fare.

"Ah my favorite couple, the good doctors. What would be the poison of choice for ya tonight then?" Cristina's attention carried over to the very loud New Yorker voice that bellowed from his position behind the bar.

Scanning the bar she noted the lack of people in the dimly lit space. Keeping her voice as low as she could, she spoke out of the corner of her mouth resulting in a laugh from her friend.

"Wow did he eat all the customers?" Callie ushered Cristina into the booth in the corner as she watched the two men shake hands and exchange pleasantries. "So, it must me nice that you found a new Mark?" Cristina instantly realized what she said as she saw the pain flicker across Callie's face.

"Yeah, he's a good guy. He's been a great support to me at work and with Sofia. He's a good role model for her." Callie smiled as she glanced over at him as she heard his playful laugh turn up a notch.

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

"I mean is it just fuck bunnies or is it serious?"

"Seriously? Seriously Cristina! That just came thundering out your mouth!" Callie looked back at her with a raised eyebrow in disbelief.

"I was just asking if it was serious between you and Tony, because I have a hundred dollars riding on you being back on the dong, and Meredith owes me." Cristina smiled widely as Callie finally caught up with everything Cristina had said.

Callie raised her eyebrows in Cristina's direction, confusion etched on her face. "Me and Tony?" How did Cristina know about Tony? "Are he and I fuck bunnies or heading down the aisle, is that what you're asking about us?" She smiled nodding toward her PIC across the room.

"Yeah, what's the deal with you two? He's hot. I mean he's Mark and Derek in one fine ass man with a damn fine ass." Cristina held her hands up and framed his ass, inspecting it. "I'll give you that you have great taste in lookers, but is he husband material? You don't have great taste in spouses, so do I need to worry about my goddaughter? I don't need to worry about Tony, do I?" Cristina was her usual mix of serious and inappropriate.

"Well, Tony is a great lay, but besides being a great lay, there's some real potential for a solid future. And God is Tony great in bed. Why, are you jealous?" Callie couldn't help but laugh. "But please, we shouldn't talk about this in front of him," she nodded toward the tall man heading their way, "he gets squeamish when I start talking sex in front of people."

"Hey ladies, bottoms up... just the way I like it." He chuckled at his own joke, taking a seat next to Callie before handing both women a glass.

Winking in his direction, Callie batted her eyelashes and gave her sweetest smile. "So Cristina here was just asking if we were friends with benefits or if we were serious, Tony Baby?"

"We'll I don't know if my mistress has ever defined me other than just a number." He returned the wink, smiling seductively at Callie causing her to raise an eyebrow in response.

"Mistress? I didn't know we were letting anyone in on that, Baby." She leaned over and squeezed his upper thigh causing a red blush to creep up his cheeks. He was always game for teasing Callie, but she was a little too close to certain parts and squeezed just a little too tight causing a reaction neither wanted especially in public.

Clearing his throat, he narrowed in on Cristina, refusing to look over at Callie. "Come on, you've not given me any in hours, how about you just jump right on my lap and we can show your friend which one we really are, and what all the guys want."

"Oh get a room, you two are disgusting." Cristina rolled her eyes, but the meaning of guys did not go unnoticed. "So, to change the subject so I won't barf my good alcohol all over you two, how'd you meet?" She asked.

"Ortho department at the hospital. Callie's my boss. I work under her." He explained. "Dr. King, Ortho at your disposal. You can bow down now to me and I respond to, Your Majesty."

"You were King of Ortho until I came; now you're a lowly minion, Dear." Callie laughed as he pouted.

"Dr. King Ortho? Is that how you introduce yourself, really? King Ortho?" Cristina snickered.

"Yes, he actually does. He's a douche." Callie laughed.

"So Tony, you gonna marry our girl here?" Cristina watched as he spit his beer out at the question.

"That's none of your business, Cristina." Callie's voice took on a low growl. "How do you know about Tony anyway?" She knew her daughter had to be the culprit here, but her worry wasn't so much that Cristina knew, but that if Cristina knew, Arizona knew too. But they weren't married. For years now they hadn't answered to each other and she was certain Arizona hadn't stayed single in those years. No, not the woman that was married and screwing around, but she couldn't possibly remain unattached; so if Arizona was free to date or whatever, why was Callie so worried about her ex-wife being privy to her own dating life? Why? Because no matter how many years had gone by and how much distance separated them, silence spanning more than just a country apart, Callie's heart still hurt knowing that Arizona might realize that Callie was finally moving on, finally free of the confines of her past; their past.

Cristina shrugged ignoring the question that she hadn't prepared herself to answer. "So, what's your schedule like? Wanna play hookie tomorrow?" Cristina completely changed the subject. "What about you Tony, you up for showing this gal about?" She asked before contemplating her words and changing her mind. "You know actually, I think I'll just wait at the apartment until Sofia gets home and surprise her. Take her out maybe. I'll see if I can be bothered tomorrow." Cristina threw back a shot as another round was brought to the table.

"It might be good for Sofia to spend some time with someone else. Maybe her heat seeking missiles might disengage from ...Ow, what'd you kick me for, Brat?!" Callie rolled her eyes at his lack of subtlety, getting up from her seat she made her way to the bathroom.

"So Tony, tight lips over there isn't giving anything up." Cristina nodded in the direction Callie had taken off in. "You appreciate a fine bit of male ass by the look of you, don't you?" Staring straight at the man in an interrogational pose, he realised that he better bring his A-game. "So come on, be a stereotype and give me the goss." Cristina drew herself closer to the well-groomed Dr. King. "Give me the dirt you know you want to. I can tell your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but does Callie know she's dating a gay?"

"Well..." He looked at Cristina and she had to hold her laughter in as she watched the man's mannerisms change before her eyes. "I am 100% positive that Callie knows she's dating a gay." He smiled sweetly and Cristina was just in awe of the gayness that oozed from him. How on earth did she not realize this before?

"But sometimes you can't help who you fall for; gay; straight ... we all need a little lovin'." He straightened himself against the back of his chair. Cristina couldn't help but laugh at the expression on the man's face until her head clicked back into gear when she realised he had said. He watched in confusion as she began to gently bang her head on the table. "Erm...Cristina what are you doing sweetie?"

"Gay dong! Fuck, I still win. Right? I still win because it's still penis. We had a wager back home that Callie would be back on the joystick." She threw her hands in the air in celebration "And gay dong still counts!" Cristina hushed as she saw Callie make her way back over to the table.

"What are you two up to?" Callie eyed both suspiciously.

"Oh, the good King here was just telling me the places I should visit while I'm here."

"Oh really...like?"

"Oh, can't remember wasn't really listening." Cristina smiled and stood up. "I'm hungry; can I interest anyone but this guy here, in some nuts?"

This Used To Be A Funhouse But Now It's Full Of Evil Clowns

"Where the hell have you been? You haven't answered the damn phone in two days, come back here or ... where have you been Cristina? I've been going crazy?" Arizona stormed over to the other woman, getting up in her face. Arizona was wound tighter than a virgin on her wedding night and Cristina was the perfect target.

"What not even a hello Cristina? How are you this fine afternoon?" Sidestepping the raging blonde woman, Cristina sat herself down on the seat in the corner, before Arizona followed her and hit her on the back of the head. "Ow, what was that for?"

"The wake up calls you brat." Arizona went over and sat on the bed, she was emotionally drained and tired as hell because of Cristina's mischief and lack of communication, so she hadn't gotten a proper sleep. Pulling the eye mask that was perched on the top of her head she replaced it over her eyes and dramatically threw herself back onto the soft mattress.

"My phone battery died and Callie has a dead outlet and I forgot to plug it in after getting the rundown of her house rules. Why are you so uptight anyway? Are you taking lessons from your daughter? Should I call you, Drama Mama Queen?" Cristina teased.

"Oh shut up and tell me ... um, so how's...how's Callie? Have you met her ... her fian ...Tony? Is Callie happy?" Arizona asked timidly.

"Yeah, I met Tony; seriously Arizona the man is the definition of a candy shop. Could suck on that..." Cristina tried to keep herself from cracking, as Arizona was upright in a matter of seconds. Eye mask ripped from her face and blue eyes targeted on the woman who was currently trying to not return the eye contact with her. She knew she would crack if she did right now.

"So he's pretty, but why doesn't Sofia like him? Is he mean? Why does my daughter hate him so much?"

Because, the one who her mommy's in bed with every night, he's not you. Cristina decided it was best not to say such things as it was clear Arizona was already still a mess. "Beats me, I haven't seen him with the kid yet, but Tony is supposed to be coming over to pick Callie up for a date, so I guess I'll have front row seats. I think he's nice. Funny. Great looking. His ass is sculpted. It's so fine. Aside from his God-like body, they seem like a great fit." She shrugged apathetically trying to reel Arizona in on her line.

Arizona rolled her eyes, shaking her head. There were fears, and there were nightmares, and Tony just became both. But who was she to judge? So what if her ex-wife was marrying a man? She knew from even before dating Callie, that she was attracted to both men and women, and although it had caused her enough moments of distress in their relationship, it wasn't anything she ever thought would be an issue again. Callie was with her and that was that. Except Callie wasn't with her. They were divorced. For years they were divorced. And it burned her that Callie would end up in her forever with a man. But truth be told, she'd probably feel the same way if Callie found herself with a female lover too. She'd rationalize that had Callie returned to men, it was because no other woman would or could ever compare to Arizona both in bed and out, but being with another woman after Arizona, meant she wasn't the best Callie ever had. It was a fucking double-edged sword with a serrated blade.

"What's wrong Sunshine?"

"Nothing." Arizona mumbled, blinking tears from her eyes. Why the hell did she come here? What was the point?