"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then for the love of God ...tell a joke" - Joss Whedon
AN: And so it begins ... (insert dun dun dun music here)
All of you are amazing and we appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for sticking with us and we hope that you're enjoying reading this as much as we've enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for the reviews, you always brighten our day when we get them.
Thank you to the lovely Shinata-Riyoko who beta'd this longer chapter for us. Thank you to my Zoe who always listens to my crap.
Sadie and Nic
Chapter Five From Russia With Love
Somebody Told Me You Had A Boyfriend That Looked Like A Girlfriend
"Oh goodie, Tony's here!" Cristina heard the knock and jumped up to answer the door sarcastically clapping her hands as she made her way over.
"Cristina NO!" Callie raced for the door before Cristina could open it herself, but tripping over one of Sofia's toys, she fell flat. Flat, on her face.
"Hello?" The tall, redheaded, knockout of a woman stood before a fish-mouthed Cristina.
"Who are you?"
"Tonya Rusakov, but everybody calls me Tony. And you would be?"
"No fucking way! You're not Tony, I met Tony." Cristina stood shaking her head as she took in the words from the accented beauty.
"Last time I checked I was Tony." She replied with a knowing smirk, this was fun.
"You can't be Tony. You're Tony? But you're a woman. And you're sex on legs. Two legs."
Cristina continued holding onto the door, giving her no room to enter and Callie no room to join the conversation.
"Yang, watch what you say around Sofia, that is way past insensitive." Callie barked and with her ortho-strength behind her, she tore the door out of Cristina's hands trying to get between the two women. "I'm sorry, Cristina wasn't taught to play nice. Come in." She ushered the confused woman through the door.
"Ah, Cristina. That explains it, I've heard all about you. Sofia's godmother, right? The one that bought her permanent markers as a Christmas present and told her the world was her canvas, so she drew on every wall of Barbara's house?" Tony smiled, slipping her arm around Callie's waist after kissing her cheek.
"Callie wanted me to encourage her dreams like any good godmother would do; I was only doing what she asked." Cristina shrugged; even when the Colonel called to thank her for Cristina's thoughtful present, it didn't faze her, because she was a country away from the old man, and it wasn't like there'd ever be another wedding where she would have to run into him. His daughter was divorced from Cristina's only connection to the grumpy old man and that ship had long sailed, and sank in the perfect storm. "So, if you're Tony, who was the flaming fag, I took body shots off of earlier?" She asked.
"Cristina! SERIOUSLY, you know I don't like that word. Now retract your fangs!" Callie was less than amused.
"Body shots, Callie?" Tony raised her eyebrow in a questioning motion, her eyes clearly spelling disappointment.
Sighing Callie kissed her girlfriend's cheek. "Cristina is kidding, Honey." She glared in her direction. "She's pissy because we let her think King was you. She's bitter because she lost a bet that I was going to return to men and even worse for her: that I'm not doing the dirty with a gay dong as she so eloquently puts it."
"Stupid, gossiping, gay man!" Cristina huffed. "So I'm out some money, whatever. I've got plenty."
Both Callie and Tony laughed because Toby King was a world-class gossip; the man couldn't keep it in if his life depended upon it, so anything Cristina told him was fair game to Callie. "Look, be nice, Yang. I need to grab my shoes and bag. I'll be right back." Callie slipped away as she heard Sofia.
"I'll get you some soda, Tony."
"NO!" Tony and Callie screamed in unison.
"What was that about?" Cristina questioned.
"Um, last time Sofia accidentally dropped the can and Tony ended up soaked in sticky cola."
Callie sent a knowing glare in her daughter's direction.
"Accidentally, huh Little Doc?" Cristina smiled; accidentally her ass.
Sofia and Her Imaginary Friend
It was another night that Sofia had to share and as an only child, Sofia didn't share. It wasn't that she didn't share well, she just didn't share. She didn't have to. She didn't even have to share her parents with each other and this new addition to her life, Tony; she was making the young child's life a living hell. Or as much hell as a seven year old could have, considering her life for the most part was a dream other children read about in storybooks. Yes, Sofia had her Aunt Cris tonight, and she loved every moment she spent with the woman, but she wanted everybody's attention, Mommy's included. If Tony thought she was going to join her family unit, the redhead had another thing coming; Sofia wasn't going to share.
"Sofia, the phone is ringing and my cordless fell behind the bed, can you please answer that?" Callie yelled from her bedroom, where she was hopping around trying to get her heels on as fast as humanly possible. She was always, always late for her dates with Tony. If it wasn't something going wrong around the house, her daughter was ill, or something ridiculous was constantly causing her delay.
Sofia smiled sweetly, Cristina watching her goddaughter from her place on the couch. That look on Sofia's face could only be described as mischievous, and the young miss had her full attention while Tony dug through her purse looking for a business card Cristina asked about.
"Hello, Torres' Residence, how can I help you?" She answered with the good manners drilled into her by both moms.
"Mommy's busy; she's going out on a date. Which girl or boy may I ask is calling?"
Cristina's eyes grew wide and Tony stopped digging in her bag to listen to the conversation only a few feet away.
"Are you that pretty brown haired girl she went out with last week or the blonde from yesterday?"
The look of shock on both women sitting on the couch witnessing this phone call was priceless, and it took all of Sofia's self-control to continue on without cracking a smile and giving herself away.
Grabbing for a pen and notepad placed within reach of the phone, Sofia balanced the receiver on her shoulder like she'd seen her Gramma do lots of times. "Oh, the blonde from last week, I member you. It's me, Sofia. You took me to the park cuz you are the coolest. Mommy's busy; can I take a message for you?"
"Okay, thank you. I'll tell her you called." Sofia put down the phone, turning away from the women for a brief moment.
Cristina sat, watching her goddaughter hang up the house phone and then very sneakily shut her own cell phone that she had plastered to her side, in where she thought it was away from their view. She almost lost it with laughter and instead choked herself into a coughing frenzy before she could ruin Sofia's prank. She knew she should have stopped Sofia and probably punished her, but the look on Callie's girlfriend's face was priceless, and it was such a brilliant move on the seven year old's behalf, that she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd talk to her later but for now; she was going to let it slide.
"Who was it, Sof?" Callie exited the room ready for her date.
"Whoa Torres, you look like sex on heels. Somebody's getting laid tonight." Cristina interrupted before her goddaughter could answer.
"Cristina! Seriously!" Callie scolded, looking sideways at her daughter who was now playing quietly in her toy corner, seemingly ignoring Cristina's outburst.
Blushing, Callie looked toward her girlfriend sitting quietly on the couch. "Um, you ready?"
"Huh?" Tony looked up with emotion swirling in her eyes, that Callie couldn't identify.
"Are you ready?" She repeated.
"Oh yeah, we should go." She whispered, refusing to look at anybody but Callie.
Callie walked over to her daughter, bending over to kiss the top of her head. "Behave tonight, young lady. Do not stay up late just because your Aunt is here. Capiche?"
"Capiche! Have fun, Mommy." Sofia continued playing with her dolls. She felt oddly guilty when she saw the look on Tony's face and that made her uncomfortable. Usually her pranks were funny, but Tony didn't look as if she was laughing.
Cristina watched as a pang of jealousy appeared on Tony's face as Callie spoke to Sofia. She had been feeling sorry for the woman, but seeing the look on her face just annoyed her. Sofia was a child, who wasn't to say that if this woman ended up marrying Callie, Sofia would end up at a boarding school or something. She was not letting that happen to her Little Doc.
"Cristina! Since you've come and made yourself at home. How about you do some washing for me?" Callie smiled sweetly at her as she grunted acceptance. "Please don't add any softener though, there's some of Tony's stuff in there and she's allergic to it. Thanks Yang."
"Go, before I change my mind. Sofia, let's go and I'll show you how to work the washer."
Like Mother, Like Daughter
As much as Cristina loved the idea of her brilliant goddaughter causing havoc on Callie's new woman; Arizona had told her some of the stuff Sofia had done to her, but this, this was the first time she'd actually witnessed the mischief first hand, and as an adult, one that Sofia was supposed to look up to, she had to do something. Her being a rude asshole was one thing, Sofia knew better. But at the same time, she was still the cool one, and she wasn't going to ruin that image by scolding her goddaughter. That was a job for a mom and Cristina was NOT a mom.
"Why are we at a hotel?" Sofia skipped down the hall just a feet ahead of her godmother.
"Because." Cristina refused to give Sofia any clues.
"Because why?" Sofia left her voice linger in the air at the question.
"We're at a hotel because I want to be here." Cristina snapped. This is why she wasn't a parent; she had no patience.
"But why?" Sofia giggled when Cristina picked her up from behind, turning her around.
"Because I'm the ... adult, that's why." Cristina put Sofia back down on the carpeted floor. "Shit." Did she really just go the, 'Because I'm the mom, that's why', route? She'd been around children too much; this was not cool. "Just because, Sofia."
"I'm telling Mommy you cussed."
"Whatever Little Brat, we're here. Open the door." Cristina handed her the key card.
Arizona was waiting for them. Cristina texted her telling her that they were on their way. That Sofia was being a monster to Tony and Arizona needed to do something, because Callie was oblivious and Tony wasn't going to tell her. She heard the door open and before she could turn around, she heard squeals and was tackled from behind.
"Mama! You came!" Sofia hugged her tight.
"Of course Baby." Arizona turned around, taking her daughter over to the couch, sitting down, with Sofia standing in front of her.
"Good. It's about time." Sofia tapped her foot, hands on her hips in her scolding stance. She was the splitting image of Arizona Robbins with Callie's looks. "So, what are we going to do bout Tony, Mama?"
Shaking her head, Arizona sighed. "Nothing, Sofia."
"What?" Sofia screeched as if she didn't hear her mama correctly. And here was the Callie in her coming out.
"Mommy deserves to be happy. And your aunt says you're being disrespectful and rude to Tony. We didn't raise you this way, young lady. Mommy and I are never rude or mean to people. You know better, Sofia Robbin." Holding onto her daughter's upper arms, Arizona stared the young child down, daring her to argue. This was her serious face, even if she was lacking conviction behind her words.
"Aunt Cris is." Sofia wasn't going to take responsibility for her actions; she learned very well from her moms how to avoid it. You take everybody else down with you. "Aunt Cris says lots of mean things."
"Aunt Cristina isn't your mother." Arizona raised her voice, letting Sofia know she was serious.
"Listen to her Little Doc, it's why I'm not a parent. Bad role model!" Cristina shrugged, even if she had a short pang of guilt in her stomach. She never ever meant for her bad manners to rub off on her goddaughter, but at the same time, she didn't see how acting differently around a child was good for them. You treat them like you would anybody else, no special favors, because in the real world, nobody gets special favors.
Sofia stuck out her lower lip and as practiced, quivered it just enough to get sympathy. "But I don't like Tony." She squeezed out a few tears to make her point.
Changing her tactics, knowing she really couldn't defend Tony because she didn't like Tony, even if she didn't know Tony, Arizona went for the heart. "But you love Mommy."
"Do you?" Sofia looked up hopeful.
Choking momentarily on her answer, Arizona cleared her throat, taking those few moments to blink back tears, that the truth brought with them. "Do I what?"
"Love Mommy?" Sofia asked again.
"Sofia, we're, uh, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you acting like a big girl and giving Tony a chance." Arizona looked up, away from her daughter, to settle her thoughts. Clear her mind. But not before Cristina clearly caught the look of sadness and heartbreak in her eyes.
Still pouting, Sofia looked up with sad eyes. "But what if I never like Tony and they get married, Mama?"
Pulling her daughter onto the couch next to her, Arizona cupped her chubby cheeks. "Oh Sofia, Mommy's allowed to get married and if you only gave Tony a real chance …"
"To you?" Sofia perked up at the thought.
"What?"
"Why can't Mommy get married to you?"
Cristina smirked; damn this child was good.
Biting back her own tears, Arizona squeezed her eyes shut. Opening them again, she stared into brown eyes full of hope, and that crushed her soul. "Sofia, Mommy and I were married, it didn't work."
"Why?"
"It's complicated." That was the only answer Arizona was ever going to give.
"Why?"
"It just is …"
"Well maybe you can make it not complicated. You could fix it and then you could get married to Mommy." Sofia suggested as if things were that simple.
"Sofia, I don't even live here." Arizona was grasping at straws, looking for any excuse to give her daughter. That one sounded like shit, even to her.
"But you could stay here and then you would. I'm here, and Gramma and Pop-pop and … and Mommy's here."
If only children could solve the world with their simplistic ideals. If only adults just listened to them once in a while. Cristina was shaking her head, what was going through that thick blonde skull of Arizona's? It was clear as day that this woman was far from over her ex-wife.
Changing tactics again, Arizona gave a weak smile. "Sofia, is Mommy happy with Tony?"
"Yes." She huffed. Sofia hadn't seen her mommy smile like that at anybody, ever. Only in the pictures her gramma gave her from when she was a baby, and it was her and mommy and mama all together.
"Don't you want Mommy happy?" Arizona asked knowing that their happiness meant the world to Sofia. It was a cruel way to go, feeding on her daughter's big heart, but it was her only option at this point.
"Yes." Sofia mumbled again.
"Please, for me, give Tony a chance?" Arizona was begging, not knowing what else to say.
Sofia mumbled again, nodding without making eye contact. She was mad. And hurt. Mama was supposed to save her. Mama was always supposed to save her.
"Will you least come over for dinner tomorrow?" Sofia pleaded, batting her eyelashes.
"I can't Sofia."
"Why?" Which was her favorite word in the English language.
"It's complicated."
Sofia didn't like that stupid word. That word was her least favorite word. Complicated was stupid. "Please, Mommy will be so happy to know you are here."
"NO!" Arizona yelled, clearing the frog from her throat, she looked at her daughter staring back at her with wide eyes. "I mean, later, but don't tell her yet. Soon. It'll be a surprise." Yeah, surprise, Arizona thought. She'll be so surprised she'll probably call the police.
"Promise?"
"Promise." Arizona cringed at the stupid promise she made. What was she going to do now?
"But um, let's keep it our little secret until I call Mommy, okay?"
"Cuz it's complicated?" She asked mockingly.
"Sofia, what did I just say about your rude beh..."
"Little Doc, why are you dancing? No time to be dancing, your mama's talking. Oh wait..." Cristina began to laugh when she realised what was going on. She hadn't seen it in such a long time, but god, how she really was the spitting image of her mommy. "Pee dance...Pee dance!" Cristina pointed toward Sofia, as Arizona brought her head back down to witness her daughter hopping around.
"Sofia the toilet's through that door, go quickly."
"So answer the question Long John Silver. You still love her don't you?" Cristina watched as Arizona closed her eyes. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You made a mistake Arizona, years ago and you've been punishing yourself ever since. I get it if you don't love her anymore, but every time the question comes up, you can't make yourself give an answer..."
"Oh peg legged-pirate jokes Cristina? Mature! Real mature. I don't, Cristina, now drop it. I do not love...I...Don't." Arizona couldn't finish the sentence without sobbing like a baby.
"Mmm hmm, really hit that home to me, wow!" Cristina's voice was drenched with sarcasm.
Cristina knew she had hit a sore point asking about Callie, Arizona had never had that reaction to her somewhat bad humoured jokes. After Callie left, she finally admitted she needed help and finally went to therapy. She could never do that when Callie was still around, she couldn't let Callie see her any weaker...it was after all, one of the things that got them in trouble, Arizona's failure to admit that things were not alright.
Part of her therapy was to come to terms with the loss of the leg. Whenever Arizona spoke to the therapist about what happened in the woods, she would always hide behind humour. The therapist got Arizona to use it to her advantage. The type of person Arizona was before the accident was a fun, wheelie wearing, kind-hearted person, who worked constantly with children. Children that didn't have a filter. Everybody had been skirting around the issue, whenever a kid would ask an awkward question like they always would, Arizona would watch everyone squirm and get out of the immediate danger.
One day, when one of those questions came up, it was a young cancer patient. It was hard to notice under her scrubs, but when she had a particularly long, standing day like that one, she would find that she would limp. When he asked what was wrong with her leg, Arizona, as time went on, had become more comfortable when kids asked her about it. When she smiled and showed him, his eyes light up. He asked if she was a pirate, the joy and excitement she saw in that sick little boys face made her heart light up. In Peds we have miracles and magic ...She hadn't felt that in a while, she had been punishing herself for so long, embarrassed by it. When she smiled and leaned into whisper "Yes, but shhh, it can be our little secret." The boy almost shot out of bed, he was excited. That was the day that Arizona let go of the anger, she was still here to help this little boy and every other child.
"Okay, let's go another route. You just told your kid to lie to her mother." Cristina wasn't letting Arizona off the hook so easily.
"I know."
"Smooth move, Robbins."
Rubbing her hands over her face, she sighed. She was just digging and digging this hole. "I know, okay?"
"Please will you just call your ex and tell her you are in town. Make things easier all around. " Cristina pleaded, this was turning into a colossal mess.
"I'm not so sure her fiancé would like that very much. I'm sure he doesn't want her ex-wife showing up and raining on their parade." Of all the people in the world, lying to Cristina was the worst idea. She saw through all facades and lies, and only ignored the ones she chose to, but anything coming from Arizona was not something she chose to ignore.
"Whatever." Cristina rolled her eyes. "I'm going to get the kid back, before Callie comes home and thinks we're getting into trouble."
"Thank you." Arizona whispered, her emotions on the cusp of taking full control.
"Yeah, whatever." Cristina was irritated. At Callie and at Arizona. She knew from talks along the years that Callie hadn't moved on, even if she dated or screwed around here and there, and there was no way this Tony person had all of Callie's heart. No way. And Arizona? What serious relationship had she even tried over the years? She hopped around from woman to woman, never giving any of herself over but her body. That's how it had been since Callie left. Her body wasn't important, it was her heart that was, and she wasn't willing to give it to anybody else. Cristina didn't meddle, but for fuck's sake she was done watching them both fuck up their lives, her goddaughters, and because of that, her own.
"So, you know these pranks you've been pulling, kid?" Cristina made certain Sofia was strapped securely into the car before she confronted her. Sofia couldn't get away.
"Whatever do you mean, Aunt Cristina?" She first cringed, before pasting on her favorite innocent smile. "I'd never do such a thing."
"Cut the crap, kid. I've figured you out. You might have pulled the wool over your moms' eyes, but I see right through you." Cristina glanced in the rear-view mirror, smirking as she watched Sofia pale before her eyes.
"Are you gonna tell Mommy?" Sofia looked horrified.
"No. What I'm going to do is help you step up your game."
"Step up my game?" Sofia was confused.
Cristina smiled; this was going to be fun. She pulled out her phone and loaded youtube. "You're playing T-Ball in the Big Leagues, Little Doc. It's time you went professional. Now these are pranks!"
"Really?" Sofia's eyes lit up with glee as she read the title of the video...Shrink-wrap prank.
"Really! But if you get caught, you're all on your own. I'm not going down with you, deal?"
Sofia nodded, her grin bigger than her cheeks could handle. If Aunt Cris was in this, helping her, it wouldn't be long before her moms fell back in love and lived happily ever after, and the princess and maiden could find their happy ending.
The Exorcist Strikes Again
The silence was awkward; four sets of eyes watched each other waiting for a flinch. Tony sat wondering what the rest were thinking, Cristina was still trying to figure out if she liked the woman; she did kind of feel sorry for her. Tony seemed nice enough and she knew that, with everything that Callie had been through, for her to have opened her heart up again, it had to be for someone special. However, Sofia had a point. Callie was not over Arizona and Arizona was definitely not over Callie, their story did not have an ending. No matter how this played out, Cristina knew there had to be a full stop. And well, Barbara had liked her when she thought she was just another one of Callie's friends, but when the relationship came to light. Well of course she didn't like her, but she kept herself smiling at the woman. In her opinion, it should only be Arizona that was waiting on Callie.
"Gramma, can you tell Mommy that my tummy huuurts? I really don't feel..." all of a sudden Sofia stood up, threw her coloring book down and ran to her room.
Cristina looked at Barbara "I'll go make sure she's okay, you get Callie." Cristina made a ssh motion to Barbara who stood up and made her way toward Callie's room. Cristina watched, she could see Tony physically relax as the people she wanted to impress had left the room. Smirking she followed Sofia, and as she approached the slightly open door she could hear Sofia wretch. Scrunching her nose when she heard the noise, even though she knew it was faked, it still made her stomach churn as she turned back around shaking her head in disgust.
Sofia sat behind her door, looking into the mirror she'd positioned to allow her to see if anyone followed her. Smiling when she realized it was Cristina, she retrieved the pre-filled bag from behind her hiding place. Cristina quickly helped to place the bag up her sleeve, manoeuvring it so the contents did not escape until Sofia was ready. "You have it pinched, remember just let go when you're ready. I'll take care of the rest." Cristina gave the child a wink of her eye in comradery.
"Is Sofia still in her room?" Callie exited her bedroom with Barbara following.
"Yeah, she was hurling and I'm in no way signed up for that in my Godmother duties, it's written in the small, fine print." Cristina stared at Tony, who began to giggle. With all eyes on Tony, she suddenly felt very small.
"You laugh. She actually had a contract drawn up where all parties had to sign...Witnesses and everything." Callie told Tony straight faced, almost too serious as Tony was sure she was having her leg pulled.
"I take my Godly powers that be very seriously."
"Oh you are serious!"
"Number One on the list was that if anyone called her a fairy, she was revoking her divine presence. She's high maintenance." Callie shrugged. "Sofia, Sofia are you alright, Baby?" She called through the bedroom door.
"Just coming Mommy." Callie could hear the pathetic-ness in her daughter's voice and was mentally preparing herself for the guilt trip Sofia was about to give her. Sitting herself down next to Tony, she felt the tender touch of her girlfriend's hand on her knee. Watching as sweat covered face...splashed watered face entered the room Callie sucked in some air. "I take it I'm not allowed to go out again today?" Callie didn't mean to say that out loud, but this seemed to be a pattern for her daughter, ruining the date somehow, someway and it was getting annoying.
"No, Mommy. You go out with Tony. Have a nice time, I have Gramma and Aunt Cris here to look after me." Sofia moved over to behind the sofa her mother and Tony were sitting at. Slinking her arms around Callie's neck from behind, she gave her mother a cuddle. Surprising everyone, she then moved to Tony and copied the sentiment. As everyone was in shock and looking at each other, Sofia took her chance and as she straightened herself she was sick all down the back of Tony.
In all the commotion, Sofia stepped back and took in her handy work as Callie and Barbara rushed to Tony's aid. Green thick sludge dripped down Tony's back, thick chunks congealed in long red hair. Almost forgetting that she had to make an escape before she was caught, Sofia was snapped back to the present when she heard her aunt's voice. "Sofia, oh god are you okay...come one lets get you cleaned up." Cristina picked the child up and whisked her off to her room.
When the two reached the room, they gave each other a celebratory high five, before watching the commotion through the crack in the door.
"Now, you remembered to add the softener to the washing like you planned?" Cristina watched as Sofia smiled almost evilly. "That's my girl...Phase Two in progress."
Sofia sat between her gramma and aunt, watching closely as Tony squirmed in her seat. She bit the insides of her cheeks in a desperate attempt at refraining from laughing, while Cristina stared at the ceiling, as if waiting for the Lord Himself to make an appearance. Barbara eyed them suspiciously; something was up.
My Oh My, You're Getting Under My Skin
"Tony Dear, are you okay? You've got a rash climbing up your neck and down your arms." Barbara pointed out the bright red hives making themselves known on the pale doctor's skin.
Scratching at her throat, tears stinging her eyes, she nodded. "Yeah, I just ..." she clawed at her stomach, "I just really itch!"
"Baby, that doesn't look good, did you eat something you shouldn't have?" Callie asked examining the warming rash.
"No, everything I ate came from my own kitchen today, nothing could have been contaminated."
"She's allergic to shell fish and various fruits, anything in the onion family, sometimes, when we eat out no matter how hard we try, the restaurant screws up and her food still gets touched by things it shouldn't." Callie explained to a very concerned Barbara.
Pulling back her girlfriend's shirt, she peaked down seeing blazing red, bumpy skin staring back up at her. "Let me get you some medicine." She got up, walking towards the kitchen, when the open door to her laundry room caught her eye. She never left that open, it didn't have any air ducts, which meant it sucked the heat or air conditioning from the rest of the house. That room itself wasted tons of money on electricity, so she was vigilant about keeping it closed.
"Sofia, did you go into the laundry room?" She stopped mid-way, turning to talk to her daughter.
Sofia smiled sweetly, her best innocent look. "Yes Mommy. I saw how much clothes we needed to wash so Aunt Cristina helped me do them. I washed them and dried them myself, measured it out like the bottles said to and I putted them away myself though."
Slight panic crossed Callie's face. "Did you do my laundry too, baby?"
"Yes Mommy. I helped you. After Aunt Cris showed me a few days ago, I wanted to help you. Why do you look mad?" Sofia scrunched up her face, big fat crocodile tears falling down her cheeks.
"Did you put softener in the laundry Sofia?"
"Softener? What's that Mommy?" She feigned innocence. Of course she put softener in, how else would the second part of their plan work?
"The light blue bottle with the teddy on the front, did you add that to Mommy's laundry. Think hard, Sofia."
"Uhuh! You like the teddy in your clothes, Mommy. Are you mad at me?" She cried harder looking between Tony and her mom.
Tony growled, running from the room into Callie's attached bathroom, Callie following behind.
"What? What'd I do?" Sofia looked up at her gramma making the tears fall faster. "I was only trying to help Mommy."
After a few minutes, Tony and Callie reappeared from the bathroom. Tony was now changed, again, into a set of scrubs, the searing redness of her skin even more apparent. She mumbled her apologies, wished Sofia a speedy recovery, and left without looking at anybody in the room. Sofia stayed, sobbing into her gramma's arms until Callie squatted in front of them.
"I'm sorry Mommy, I was being a big girl." Sofia leaned forward, falling into her mom's arms.
"It's okay. Tony's allergic to fabric softener, you didn't know." Callie stroked her distraught daughter's head feeling completely torn. On one hand, she swore she had mentioned it, one of them had, but on the other hand, how could she be angry with her daughter for trying to help out? Everybody was upset and Callie couldn't make anybody feel better. She felt herself thrown back five years trying to satisfy everybody, take care of everybody, and desperately failing. She was so tired of feeling guilty. She was so tired of feeling like a failure.
After everybody left and Sofia was put to bed, Callie called her girlfriend to check on her. Tony wasn't as angry any longer and after getting meds into her system, the rash was almost all gone. She sounded tired, which was a side-affect so Callie kept it short. She apologized over and over again, promising just a night for the two of them the following day. Sofia was going to a slumber party and they'd have one of their own. It'd been a tumultuous time for them since Sofia returned from Seattle, and they needed some one-on-one time, Callie knew this. Tomorrow she'd make it up to Tony; nothing was going to get in the way.
Busted
"Give me your mother's number Sofia?" the tone dripping with anger. Sofia looked up at the tempered gray eyes that had zoned in on her. She bit her lip as she brought her mobile phone out of her pocket. Opening the phone book she bypassed mommy and went straight to mama. Pressing call, she delicately handed the woman her mobile, offering a small smile as the exchange was made.
"Good evening, would I be speaking to Sofia's mother? That's great, I'm Tessa's mother. I would like it if you could please come and pick up your daughter. Unfortunately, I can't have this sort of behavior in my house." Tessa's mom looked at Sofia and then looked to the scene of the crime.
"Um, okay?" Unsure why she was getting this phone call, but hearing the anger in the woman's voice, she pushed those thoughts aside. "May I ask what she has done?" Arizona closed her eyes, waiting to hear what her daughter had done this time.
"She played a few pranks tonight with clear plastic wrap. Three pranks, to be exact, but I let the wrapping of one of the other children to a chair go. The plastic wrap on the toilet seat was pushing it, as I did not enjoy cleaning that up, but I couldn't take it any more when she purposely endangered the other kids." Tessa's mother was cut off as Arizona tried to defend her daughter. Sofia was a brat sometimes, she had been the victim of her pranks on occasion, but she didn't believe that she would intentionally hurt people, they were childish, never nasty.
"I'm sure she didn't mean it, Sofia's pranks are playful."
"She stuck plastic wrap across the bottom of the door frame, hid and when everyone was settled jumped out scaring the other children causing a stampeded and Grant tripped on the plastic. He has carpet burns on his elbows and she's lucky that's all that happened." Sofia tried to keep her face straight as the older woman flailed her unused arm around, her voice getting higher as she reached the climax of events.
"Okay, I'm really sorry. Yes Sofia's behavior is unacceptable. Would you please text me your address and I'll come and get her and take her home." Arizona momentarily froze at that thought before remembering she was still on the phone. Clearing her throat she continued. "I'm very sorry, about my daughter and she will be punished for it. I'll be there soon."