A/N: Just to address a few things that have come up in reviews. There have been a lot of guest reviews so we haven't been able to reply to you directly/personally. We totally understand that not everyone has to have an account, they just like to read/review and we accept any review but if you really have a problem, please do PM us and we will be glad to hear you out.
Next, yes this is nothing like Dystopia. I had a lot of freedom with it because it was AU while this is running from the canon storyline. I had been writing Dystopia for a year and a half and I wanted to try something different. Writing is about learning and I'm learning with this story and I appreciate your patience and understanding. We all have to start somewhere and for me, this type of canon is where I want to step out of my comfort zone and try something new.
Another point: We are trying to mash our own life knowledge together with our take on Callie and Arizona from what the writers of the show give us. That's always hard because it's so split, people interpret things differently, this is just our opinions. By all means tell us what you think, but please don't blast the characters just because you don't like them, that is just childish.
In addressing the mixed emotions when it comes to the pranking: I (Sadie) come from a split marriage; it happened when I was nine. We hated my step mom, and made her time with us horrible for no other reason than she was with my dad and we wanted our parents back together. I have 3 kids under the age of 9, the youngest being 3. They make themselves ill when they don't want to go to bed or out or do a chore. I get the 14 things that are wrong with them to try and avoid. They hide my car keys, they've hidden my house keys which trust me when your partner leaves for work in the morning and has locked you in and you're late for the school run...It's not fun. Yes, Sofia's behaviour is escalating but everything will come out. Children have no filter, it embarrasses the hell out me at times when my 8 yr old asks in her best stage whisper: why that lady is so fat, is she having 10 babies...or is it she just likes pie! She's not trying to be nasty, it's the way their brain works. In regards to Cristina: I also have the inappropriate friends who think they're doing right by me, but make matters worse. I also have a very kind MIL who actually likes me better than her own child and her encouragement while appreciated isn't always very appropriate either. (I'm loveable and a dork apparently...oh and I gave her grandchildren! )
We wanted to write a story, something that stirs emotions be it happy, sad or just blindly stupid and funny. Every story needs an antagonist or there just wouldn't be a story. Our story has 4, not one big baddie but 4 characters who all think they are doing what is best. Most of you are getting it, thank you for reading it and enjoying it. But that's the point, read and enjoy. It's time consuming and stressful to write a story to begin with but when reviews are just plain awful or attacking, it makes writers (like ourselves) feel it's not worth it to continue. We have loved, loved, loved writing this and appreciate all proper feedback whether constructive criticism or praise but please keep it in those categories or somewhere in between. Thank you very muchly.
X- Sadie and Nic
Thank you's as always go to our lovely friends. Zoe as always helps me out so much, StopBreathe was a big help as well. Gene throughout this story has gave us food for thought and Thank you to Shinata-Riyoko who beta'd this for us. You are all blessings behind computer screens.
QUESTION FOR READERS- Would you rather have longer chapters with less updates per week or more updates and shorter chapters? Our chapters are ranging from about 4000 words per chapter to this one which is well over 7000 words. Shorter chapters will be about 2000 words with more than 2 updates in a week.
Chapter 6 Your Life Has Been A Message In A Bottle
I See A Red Door And I Want It Painted Black
Standing in front of the shiny red door, Arizona motioned to knock on the door before freezing and composing herself. She wasn't calming herself for the good of having to deal with an uptight mother, but on the drive over she had already decided that she was going to use this as an excuse to finally try and talk to Callie, and knew exactly the reaction she would get off of Sofia. Arizona knew that Sofia got Tessa's mom to phone her because Sofia knew Callie would go mental. Blowing out some air to displace the messy curl that had fallen onto her cheek she finally knocked the door.
"Hi, can I help you?" The tall blonde stood at the door confused at who was in front of her. While usually she only dealt with Barbara, she'd spoken to Callie on a number of occasions over the phone and once, a passing of 'hello' on the playground, but this certainly wasn't the same woman she'd been expecting.
"Mama!" Sofia exclaimed and ran through the open door into Arizona's arms.
"You, young lady stand here." She pointed next to her before pasting on an awkward smile and looking up at the other mother. "Hi pleased to meet you I'm Sofia's mother." She knew by the look on the woman's face that there was confusion. "Her other mother." "I want to apologize for her behavior. Trust me when I tell you this is not the way she has been raised. I'm taking her home to Callie right now." Arizona took Sofia's sleepover bag from the woman, and apologized again while Sofia's eyes widened when she finally processed the words that had left her mother's lips.
Walking back to the car, Sofia finally broke the silence. "Mama, I thought you'd take me back to Gramma's, we can't go home cuz Mommy has really important work. She'll be really upset if we bother her." Emphasizing her words, Sofia tried hard to encourage her mother to do anything but go home.
"You should have thought about that before you pulled those stunts, Sofia. Now cone of silence the entire ride home." Arizona held tight to her daughter's hand when she felt the slight shaking under her grip. Sofia was clearly upset and she needed to get to the bottom of this. "What on earth were you thinking? You could have really hurt someone. That's not like you, Baby." Arizona examined her daughter's features as she helped strap her in. "If you didn't want to disrupt Mommy, then why did you do such a thing?" Arizona stared straight into Sofia's eyes; she was biting her lip as though trying to keep the truth in. When she saw her eyes widen, she realised what was going on and her mood lifted slightly at Sofia's innocence. "Cone is lifted!" Arizona tried to keep her mouth from curling up as Sofia sucked in a huge gasp of air.
"Mama" She sighed before looking at her pleadingly. "Member the boy I told you about, he was at the party." Sofia couldn't make eye contact with her mother. "He had everybody saying mean things, Mama. And he pulled my hearing aid out when I wouldn't show him it."
"Oh..." Arizona sighed realizing that overdoing punishment only secured her daughter's fears, and still after all these years she was unable to really do much about it. Call it guilt or whatever you want; call her a bad mother, but sometimes you defended your child even when they were wrong. "You know we've told you to ignore him and Baby, certainly not take matters into your own hands." Sofia began to tear up and Arizona could see all the signs of this turning into Sofia crying and causing herself to have a fit. She wasn't going to get any more information out of her daughter tonight. "Now lets get us home," Arizona watched her daughter's eyes light up and she realized what she'd said. Her heart pulled at that thought. "I mean your home."
Arizona normally drove incredibly slowly when she had Sofia in the car, but this was taking the piss slightly, cars around her were not amused, but she needed time to figure out what she would say to Callie. Hi, I've been in town for a while now, but I've been too scared to come and see you, but Sofia got in trouble and she called me because she knew I was in town and I told her to keep secrets from you. Arizona finally started panicking, no matter how she went about this, things were about to get loud and very messy. While she missed Callie's Spanish rants, being the subject of said rants was not how she wanted to be reintroduced to them.
The Prodigal Son Returns
Sofia stood with her eyes pointed at the ground, kicking the top of her shoe waiting for Arizona to knock on her door. Just as she brought her fist down to touch the doorframe Callie's voice could be heard, that raspy laugh followed by her sexy almost a song voice.
"Tony, make sure you're naked by the time I get in there, you know the adult slumber party rules!" Callie grabbed for her discarded robe as she heard the knock at the door. Securing the robe's belt over her lacy negligee, she opened the door just as she finished her sentence. She was presented with two pairs of eyes. Looking down she saw small eyes with a look of guilt and annoyance in them compared to the bright sparkling blue ones with the shine of sadness in them staring right back at her.
"Arizona..." Callie's soft words caught in her throat as she took in the vision of her ex-wife in front of her, trying to get some moisture back, she took what seemed like a very obvious gulp. Arizona was just as beautiful, she gave a slight smile before her brain kicked into gear and all the heartache of the past came back with a one-two punch to the gut, contorting her smile into the snarl that left her mouth next. "Wha … what are you doing here?"
Callie looked between her ex-wife and daughter, her face contorted with confusion, surprise, shock, and then anger, but before any one emotion could take hold, embarrassment and mortification surged to new heights as a red blush quickly crept its way up her chest, coloring her cheeks.
"Callie Baby, come to bed, I bet I can get you to scream Banana first. Who was at the door?" A slender redhead in a barely-there, very sheer, negligee appeared in the doorway to Callie's bedroom in clear view of the opened front door.
When Callie turned and saw her lover, realizing her dress or lack of dress more accurately, she threw the front door, slamming it shut on her daughter and ex-wife.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought they were already gone. Who was that?" Tony looked at the shock on her lover's face; she'd never seen Callie look so pale.
"My um … my … ex-wife." Callie choked out her reply.
Tony laughed, what an absurd joke. Callie didn't see or talk to her ex-wife; never mind the fact the woman was terrified to fly, so there was no way in hell that behind the heavy, steel door stood the woman in question. "You're kidding! Who was it really?"
"No. No I'm not. Go … put clothes on for Christ's sake." Callie growled angrily. "Oh my God, she saw … she saw you in … in that." She didn't mean to yell at her girlfriend, but her mind was all over the place. Arizona … Arizona Robbins was standing at her front door with her daughter and they … they both not only heard Callie, but they saw her lover in … in almost could clearly see everything her girlfriend had to share and more. Pert nipples straining against the fabric were clear as day to anybody within a ten mile radius and ... Oh God, it was more than obvious she wasn't wearing a shred of anything else under the negligee. She rubbed her hands over her face; this was a dream, right? A fucking nightmare.
"I should leave." Tony could take a hint, and while she shouldn't worry about being there, it was her right, Callie was her lover, there was no place in this reunion for the redhead. "I'll be quick." She promised
"Please." Was all Callie could manage as panic rose with bile in her throat. Trying her best to compose herself, she reopened the door, both Arizona and Sofia standing wide-eyed in the same place she'd left them.
"She's here? Important work huh?" Sofia sneered, marching past Callie and into her apartment.
Callie stood back to let Arizona in as well, completely lacking for words. Why are you here? How are you here? When did you get here? Why is Sofia not at her slumber party? Oh my God, what did you see? What did you hear? Why are you here, Arizona? But nothing would come out; she was stunned speechless. Her level of mortification matched that of the obvious distress she was feeling, the look of panic setting up camp on her face.
"Sofia, go to your room." Arizona ordered. She'd had enough of her daughter's attitude when it came to her own partners and the nasty tone her daughter spoke to Callie really annoyed her; this was already going to be loud and messy, and she didn't need her daughter making things worse by purposely pissing off her ex-wife.
"This is Mommy's house, you can't tell me …"
"GO NOW!" Arizona barked, the steely look in her eyes was not one you argued with.
"FINE!" Sofia yelled back. "I thought you were the cool one." She mumbled audibly as she stomped off, leaving her moms in a silent face off behind her.
They remained frozen in their spots, neither one saying a word. Separated by no more than ten feet, they just stood there staring at the other. Arizona's heart was trying to beat out of her chest and Callie had lost all feeling in every appendage of her body. Not even the slamming of Sofia's bedroom door brought them out of their stupor. It was a show down; who was going to crack under the pressure first. Callie stared at her with an intensity that should have been held only for the bedroom, while Arizona stood in an innocent posture awaiting her fate. It wasn't until Tony opened the bedroom door, tiptoeing toward the front door that either woman moved.
Both Callie and Arizona looked over at the woman trying desperately to get out, as if she was a teenager trying to sneak out before her boyfriend's dad could catch her and realize that she wasn't over doing Algebra homework. Biting her lip, looking guilty as hell, Tony swallowed her pride and held her head up as high. Well, as high as she could under the circumstances of Callie's ex-wife catching her in barely anything and possibly overhearing their dirty talk. The air was ridiculously thick with the stress of the moment and the way the other two were looking at each other, Tony couldn't help but feel at even more unease than the awkward situation allotted her. She couldn't pinpoint exactly the expression on her lover's face, but it wasn't one she'd ever seen before, and it wasn't exactly entirely anger; if she really dissected it, which she didn't want to do, she swore it was a look of longing. A look that, if later on she took the time to think about it, would probably break her heart.
"Um, you must be Dr Robbins." She walked toward the blonde woman, hand extended. "Sofia's mom, right? I'm Dr Tonya Rusakov, Tony." Tony already felt inferior in front of this woman, she didn't normally introduce her self as Doctor straight away, but here she felt she had too.
Arizona wasn't prepared for any of this, not seeing Callie, not interrupting her … her sexual activities, and sure as hell not meeting her lover, her future spouse. Her lover who was a very attractive female redhead...A woman, female not male, and she wanted to murder Cristina. Cristina kept telling her it was a man or maybe Cristina never said. Didn't she? She wouldn't lead Arizona astray, right? "Oh yeah. Sofia's mama. Yeah, that's me." She shook the woman's hand, her palm as sweaty as the one loosely grasped in her own.
"Well, I should get going." She said, still shaking Arizona's hand, doing her best to avoid prolonged eye contact, neither woman sure of what to do or say next. It wasn't as if Callie was any help as she stood literally holding her breath at their introduction. Maybe she was waiting for blows to be thrown or something catty to be said, but it was obvious she didn't trust one of them to behave, but which one? And was she secretly rooting for one to beat the other? Which one? "It was nice meeting you." She pulled her hand from Arizona's and walked toward her lover. "I'll call you later, Sweetie." She whispered in Callie's ear, placing a small peck on her cheek. Catching her girlfriend's eye, Callie mouthed I'm sorry as the redhead smiled with understanding and let herself out.
"So, that was your …" Fiancée. Arizona couldn't say the word, fiancée.
"Tony. Yeah." Callie stood, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
"She's nice. Pretty." Arizona shrugged; she didn't know what else to say. As if Callie would care what she thought in regards to her girlfriend. As if Callie would care about anything she thought.
"She is." Callie's brain had still not caught up with everything that had just happened.
"So, hi? Surprise?" Arizona looked hopeful that any anger was now dispelled from awkwardness but Callie still look mortified.
Sighing deeply, Callie glanced toward the shut bedroom door, where her daughter presided, before returning her attention to the woman swaying awkwardly in front of her. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to rein everything in, she had a rush of emotions and wanted to explode, but knew this was not the time and place for it. It was as if she was being completely taken over, her body shaking with anger, her fists clenched tightly to her sides and she could feel the rapid beat of her heart against her chest; it was all very powerfully overwhelming, but Sofia would no doubt be trying to eavesdrop and she was not ready for a hundred and one questions from her daughter the next day. It was that thought that had her moving away from the hallway where her daughter's bedroom could be found and to the furthest corner of the condo, the kitchen. Composing herself Callie started the conversation as she saw Arizona's sudden shyness. "Do I ask why you are here, Arizona? Or why our daughter isn't at the slumber party she was dropped off at hours ago? Or why you have her, here in Pennsylvania? Or … Cristina!" Callie's brain notched into next gear as the shock of seeing her ex wife again took control of her mouth. Her thoughts on trying to keep this quiet were quickly becoming harder to achieve. "Did Cristina call you? Are you here because Cristina's meddling where she doesn't belong? This has to do with Tony, doesn't it? Did she call and tell you to come out here because of Tony? I knew she didn't like her. I mean Cristina's rude to everybody, but there was just something behind her usual less than chipper attitude. And you, what, Cristina calls and tattles on me, and you come out here, why to investigate? To have your say in my life? You … you lost that right years ago, Arizona Robbins." And here came the Spanish, the battle of Callie's brain over mouth had finally tipped, her mouth victorious once again. Throwing her arms in the air, Callie started pacing, yelling at Arizona, yelling about Arizona, just yelling and Arizona couldn't understand one damn word her ex-wife was saying, but Callie's body language her tense shoulders, her flailing arms, her defensive stance, it was all enough warning for her to keep her mouth shut until Callie was done.
Arizona was expecting this, expecting the far from warm welcome, but it still crushed her just a little, okay a lot, that seeing Callie for the first time in so many years was nothing but a disappointment all around.
It took forty-five minutes for a stalemate to be reached. The first twenty or so were of Callie marching around her apartment, ranting in Spanish, sending Arizona dirty looks between pauses. She straightened up her already immaculately clean kitchen. She drank two bottles of water, her throat parched from all her ranting, and she folded an entire load of laundry. Every time a piece of her girlfriend's clothing came up in the wash, she started cursing Cristina and Arizona all over again. When it occurred to her that she wasn't the one to have washed and dried this batch of laundry, that Sofia was trying to assert her maturity and help around that house with more chores without being asked, that's when Callie finally calmed down. And then it occurred to her that she also had to deal with a daughter that appeared to be in big trouble; why else would Arizona be here, why else would Sofia not be at her party/slumber party? Did she make a mistake when reading the invitation? Her head was spinning with so many thoughts that she was trying to remember what the damn card had said. Nope, definitely mixed birthday party and then a slumber for just the girls when the main party was over. That was what it had said.
"Where do we start?" Exhausted and drained, Callie collapsed onto the couch across from where Arizona had taken a seat not long into the start of everything. She was no longer pissed off, well to the point of yelling; now she was so much more. Callie was scared of the woman across from her; she'd been gone going on six years and still just the sight of Arizona was enough to screw with her emotions.
Arizona swallowed the lump that had been growing in her throat since she picked up her daughter from the party. Where do we start? Was there even a clear answer to that?
"Sofia?"
"Fine. We can start with Sofia." Callie rolled her eyes and shook her head; figures, that Arizona would avoid the hard questions.
"She was pulling some pretty nasty pranks at her party and she called me. Tessa's mom told her to call her mom." Arizona bit her lip leaving out obviously major details.
"So you flew all the way to Pennsylvania to pick her up instead of telling Tessa's mother to call me? How valiant of you, Arizona. Was it that you didn't trust me to properly punish her, or you just happened to have some free time on your hands and you put yourself on a plane for a five hour flight, overcoming your biggest fear in the world, just to be a little more hands on in your parenting? Now? After all this time?" Callie snapped. She wasn't going to stand for bullshit of any kind.
"I didn't ask to live a country away from my daughter Callie. You can't hold that against me. I do the freaking best I can." Arizona yelled back, her own temper barely restrained.
"Don't. Don't you dare go there." Callie warned, her finger pointing accusingly at the blonde. Arizona backed off immediately as she watched a mixture of pain and anger flash into her ex-wife's eyes.
"Truth?" Arizona waved her white flag.
A few bitter retorts were at the tip of Callie's tongue. Truth? You finally found out what that was about? You gave up your family to avoid facing the truth, so I'm supposed to believe anything that comes out of your mouth now? You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you in the fucking face. But none of thoughts found their way out of Callie's mouth, which was a good thing. Her bitterness hadn't waned any over the years and rightfully so considering they never addressed anything, as was their usual style. Instead of feeding the monster, Callie nodded, not trusting herself not to vocalize her thoughts.
Sighing, Arizona picked up the blanket next to her; she needed something to occupy her hands. "This isn't Cristina's fault. Well, not entirely."
Callie laughed bringing a small amount of relief to Arizona's nerves. "Not entirely doesn't help her situation very much. Cristina has never been shy about masterminding her little stunts, and I can't help but think this was just another in the long line of many."
"Yeah well she has a way of..."
"Being totally inappropriate?" Callie smiled, finishing Arizona's thought without a second thought to how it felt to still be so in sync with her ex-wife.
"Yeah." Arizona smiled, relaxing a little more. "Sofia called me."
"I know. That's what got us here." Callie took the moment to calmly rub her temple, all the emotions in her head causing pain like clapping thunder; it came and went.
"No, Sofia called me a week or so back; she was hysterical. I couldn't calm her down, I was in the OR with Cristina." Arizona paused hoping Callie would put two and two together so that she wouldn't have to go any further.
Laughing again, Callie shook her head. "Cristina again?"
Arizona nodded still hoping her ex-wife would put the time-line together. She wasn't sure she could say what came next; it still broke her heart to just think it.
"Continue please. Why was Sofia hysterical?" All anger drained at the thought of her daughter's pain, whatever the reason may be.
"She was inconsolable over coming home to find out, to meet your… to meet Tony. She felt replaced, was afraid she was losing you. I tried to tell her to be happy for you, that you needed somebody in your life to take care of you since … anyway, but she wouldn't stop crying and Cristina stepped in and told her we were coming to Pennsylvania. I couldn't tell her no after that."
"Cristina has been here for days." Callie looked at Arizona with confusion.
"I know." Arizona answered quietly. Callie might not have been able to put two and two together with the time-line of events, but she sure as hell would figure out that if Arizona came with Cristina, that she too had been here for the duration of her visit.
"So tell me, Arizona, what the hell have you been doing for the past few days IN PENNSYLVANIA?" Callie's voice was rising in anger again. "And just what was your plan? Come in and tell me I can't live my life the way I see fit? Tell me how to raise my daughter? Obviously the cool mom would be able to give me pointers since she gets angelic Sofia, and isn't the one that gets the bratty seven year old on a daily basis. The cool mom would of course be able to tell me how to do my job since I'm obviously screwing up our child. Why else would you be here?"
Arizona looked uneasily in the direction of her daughter's room and back at her ex-wife; this wasn't an argument she wanted to have in front of Sofia. Yes Callie was far off base, but she had valid fears and Arizona knew that addressing them tonight would throw them into uncharted territory which would only have their backs up, which would only lead to even more screaming in the end. That was not why she was here. But why was she here? She could have told Cristina to go alone. She could have dealt with Sofia over the phone. Arizona wasn't sure why she was here.
"I came with Cristina because … because I felt like I had little choice. I wasn't coming here to tell you how to live your life, I was going to show Sofia that this was just a new chapter in her life and while change sucks, it wasn't the end of the world and she would be fine. I trust your taste in people, I knew you weren't bringing someone in her life that was going to hurt her, and I was going to help her see that. You always think the worst of me Callie and I get it, you have every right to feel that way, but I wouldn't mind if you trusted me a bit too. Sofia wasn't ready for Tony in her life and I was going to help her adapt, okay?" Arizona wiped at the tears she didn't even know was falling. Taking a calming breath, Arizona looked hard at her shoes unable to look Callie in the eyes. "Contrary to popular belief, I just want you to be happy." She whispered. "I know Sofia's tactics, I know how easily she could ruin this for you and you… you deserve this, Callie."
It was another standoff, both women lacking for words; both of them a storm of emotions. Callie was so angry, so so angry, but Arizona's words, the pain behind them, the reasoning for them, they dampened that burning anger. Now she just felt drained, her head felt like it would explode.
"You could have called, Arizona. You didn't have to fly out here. I know that wasn't easy for you." Callie looked everywhere but the sad blue eyes across from her. She'd been out here over five years now, and Arizona hadn't even come out when Barbara begged her daughter to come out for Christmas every single year. Callie knew a lot of Arizona's resistance had to do with her, but she also knew that her fear of planes only cemented her resistance altogether.
"Would you have answered?" It wasn't meant as a challenge or shot at Callie's inability to communicate with Arizona outside of written technology, it was an honest question.
Shame colored Callie's cheeks. No. No she wouldn't have.
"I know all of this looks bad, but it was never my intention to have our daughter lie to you, I just wasn't ready to face you." Arizona was being honest.
"It's okay." Callie whispered. The pain of the reminder that Arizona hated her so much that she couldn't even live on the same coast as her; that came back ten-fold. "I'll, we can talk to her later about… about lying and how it's not good, and adults make mistakes, we all make mistakes."
Arizona nodded in agreement. Callie's lack of anger about the entire situation was scary, because it meant that she was hurting and that was never her intention, to hurt Callie ever again.
"How long are you here?" Callie asked.
"Another week."
"The perks of owning a hospital huh?" Callie teased trying desperately to ease some of the lingering tension in the room.
"One of the few." Arizona gave a small smile.
"While you're here, you should see Sofia as much as possible." Callie offered her olive branch.
"Thank you." They were being civil, a complete 180 from an hour ago, and both women knew it was just a cover for whatever they were feeling but couldn't tell each other. Could never tell each other.
"Have you seen your parents?" Sofia knew Arizona was in town, but Barbara would never keep that secret because it was too important to her to have her family, together. Their mother wanted nothing more than for her daughters to make up, somehow, to figure things out. She didn't see divorce as final, not when she was certain they still loved each other, but they'd lost faith in themselves, they'd lost faith in each other. All she wanted was for their happiness and she knew they'd never find it, not without each other. Barbara never hid her feelings on the matter so if she knew Arizona was here, she would have made her daughter suck it up and deal with things, see her ex-wife. Callie knew Arizona hadn't told her parents before she shook her head, shame now coloring her ex-wife's cheeks.
"Look, go home. You need to be with your family for a bit. I'll … I'll call you and give you Sofia's schedule tomorrow. I'll deal with the pranking issue too."
Family, Arizona's family was here, in this apartment. She needed to be here. She didn't realize how much she needed it until she was here and she didn't want to leave. But it wasn't her home, and another woman already was filling her place. Nodding, not trusting her voice to crack, Arizona got to her feet, heading for the door with Callie a short distance behind.
"Um, about Sofia and the pranking." Arizona turned her head around, her body still facing the door. "I grounded her. No slumber parties for a month, no play-dates until you give her permission. Um, if you want that to include me..."
Callie smiled, quickly interrupting. "Moms don't count." She appreciated Arizona doling out the punishment even if her sudden appearance here complicated things. Complicated things, a lot.
"Thank you." She pulled open the door, quietly slipping out.
"I'll call you tomorrow."
"It was good to see you Callie." Arizona quickly shut the door behind her, not wanting to hear or not hear Callie's response.
"You too." Callie frowned. "You too."
Stopping at her daughter's bedroom door, Callie quietly opened it, peeking in to see her daughter passed out in bed. It was late now, too late to talk about what happened, so she let her sleep. Tomorrow they'd deal with things, tonight Callie just wanted to forget everything and disappear into the welcome darkness of slumber.
After sending off a text to her girlfriend, apologizing for her reaction early and thanking her for being understanding, Callie folded herself into bed. Tony responded asking if Callie wanted company, but as Tony wasn't the company Callie was craving, she didn't answer. She wasn't going to lie to her girlfriend, not when she wasn't even sure what was going on in her head. Closing her eyes and pulling up the blankets to cocoon around her, Callie let the tears come unhindered.
Where's Waldo?
Barbara came through the door, letting herself in like she always had done in the past, except being greeted by a cheerful welcome was not on the books today. Coming from her daughter's hotel room where she'd dropped Sofia off for one on one time with her Mama, Barbara grew concerned when Arizona had barely even cracked a smile at either of their company. If Callie was half as bad off as Arizona, and probably stewing in her emotions, Barbara was going to need some intervention. Her worries over Callie were only that much more after the numerous phone calls in question of her whereabouts and health. Both women were in a rut since their long in the making reunion only days before and neither were talking about it, to anybody, still ignoring the damn elephant in the room all these years later. No, Barbara didn't condone Arizona's delayed notification upon her visit to Pennsylvania, but she understood the unspoken fears on both sides, and her own hurt feelings would have to wait to be addressed until she had sorted out her daughters.
"Oh dear." She tutted at what she saw when coming into the very dark apartment where Callie sat on her couch watching daytime television, but not before she clearly caught what was on the television screen as it was quickly switched over. Add that to what looked to be sour cream being consumed directly from the plastic container and, "Gray sweats." She clucked her tongue again.
Gray sweats were never a good sign; they were Callie's depressed wardrobe. Every year on their anniversary, Callie slipped into a dark place, always wearing the same outfit and it seemed like Arizona's current presence in her life had the same effect as her absence. Barbara easily recognized the signs early on in Callie's move out here. They were the same clothes she wore during her self-pitying moments when Arizona had Sofia for the holidays, when Callie was PMSing far harder than usual, and when she felt fat or ugly. All women had those types of clothes in their wardrobe, but Barbara hated seeing them out of Callie's closet and on her body.
"I brought dinner." She placed the bag on the dining table and made her way into the room, opening closed curtains and letting the sun shine in as she approached Callie on the couch. "Thank God." She laughed when she realized the tub in Callie's lap was that of cottage cheese and her daughter was not directly eating sour cream and only sour cream.
"I'm not hungry." She shovelled another spoonful into her mouth. It was eat this or devour every ounce of junk food in her apartment, and then call for a grocery delivery to get more. So she ate cottage cheese like it was going out of business. And her stomach was starting to revolt at the thought of putting any more curds into it.
"Come. Eat. Now." Barbara turned off the television and pulled Callie up off of the couch by her arm.
"Why aren't you mad? She's been here all that time and hadn't even told you. You... her own mother!" She slumped herself down onto the chair at the table and watched as Barbara unloaded the Thai food from its bag.
"I never said I wasn't mad." Barbara answered sincerely.
"I'm mad." Barbara watched Callie's arms fold up over her chest in an almost protective manner. As though trying to keep her heart in her chest.
"Okay." She shrugged. This wasn't mad Callie. She could handle mad Callie. Sad Callie broke her heart and this was sad Callie.
"Why is she here?"
"She's not, she's in her hotel room."
"Barb!" Callie sighed when she wanted to yell, but not at Barbara. Never at Barbara. Even on the nights when she picked Sofia up being strung out on sugar like all grandparents did, Callie could never yell at her. She wanted to yell at Arizona, but that wasn't going to happen. Ever.
"Tony called me."
Callie shrugged avoiding eye contact and opening up her dumplings, quickly shoving them into her mouth before she was forced to answer.
"King and Polly, too. Nobody's seen you in days. You've called in sick at work and won't answer the door or phone."
She shrugged again, not really knowing if it was that she didn't care or that she didn't want to care.
"They're worried. I'm worried."
"They all have keys." Not that it would have worked because she also had the chain lock secured, but Barbara didn't need to know that. The only reason it wasn't when Barbara arrived was because Cristina was due over, and she had little choice but to let that woman in or face her wrath, and that wasn't something Callie had the strength to do. Cristina's texts were clear, she was on her way over sometime in the evening, and in no uncertain terms, she was coming in even if she had to beat the damn door down. And she could use a Cristina night where she wasn't grilled on every second of her life, what she was feeling, what she was thinking. Cristina wouldn't care; she didn't care. So Callie wouldn't mind an evening without the third degree. And then came Barbara and her fifteenth degree. Something she so didn't need tonight.
"You wanna talk about what's going on with you? Tony's up in arms trying to figure out if it was something she did. King ... well, King is being King and overreacting, I know that. But even Polly called, Callie." Barbara's voice was laced with real concern, and that only made Callie feel guilty. Guiltier.
"I'm processing." Callie's eye's concentrated on the design on the side of the carton, anything trying to keep her eye's away from Barbara.
"What are you processing? Want to talk about it?" Callie could actually hear her head tilt, just in the tone she was using.
"No!" Callie snapped.
"You sure?"
"I'm dealing with it, okay?" What in the hell was Barbara getting at? This was getting old really fast. "I'll deal with it."
"Alone?" Which was never a good thing, Barbara knew this for a fact.
"What? No!" Callie shook her head. Yes. "Cristina's coming over later."
"Is that a good idea? Aren't you two sympathetic drinkers together?" Barbara pushed.
Callie pushed away from the table, jumping up at the insult. "I'm not an alcoholic, Barbara and I'm insulted you'd insinuate such a thing. I'm processing, okay? My ex-wife flies fifteen thousand million miles to come here, hides for days, and shows up unannounced, so I'm processing, okay?" Not anytime, in the past ten years, had she ever raised her voice to Barbara. "I don't know what to feel. I haven't seen her since she put me on the damn plane, okay? And she shows up and what am I supposed to feel? How would you feel if the woman you never got over, showed up? You hate her one second, want to strangle her and the next ... the next I want to forget everything and love her ... I never stopped, and so I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know how to feel what I'm feeling. I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know. I don't know. And a little space would be nice, okay? I just want everybody to leave me alone." Callie stormed off into her room, slamming the door behind her.
Barbara stood in silence; Callie had just turned into Sofia before her very eyes. Looking sadly at the door before she looked down and saw the mess Callie had left as she had vegetated in the lounge for god knows how long. Shaking her head she bent down and picked the cushions up from their discarded position on the floor, placing them back on the sofa. Stubbing her toe, Barbara looked down to see a DVD case sticking out from under the couch. Picking it up, she shook her head, sadness filling her. The cover of the case was a collage of photos from her daughters' wedding day, which meant the DVD that was supposed to be in the case was their wedding video, and she knew she could find that in the DVD player if she looked; she'd caught the tail end of white dresses dancing across the screen when she entered the apartment. Callie was reminiscing, which was fine to her, because it was obvious that she was going down memory lane. And she was voyaging to that painful place because she missed memory lane and in missing memory lane, Callie missed Arizona. She just couldn't admit it, even to herself, but Barbara knew better; she always did. Doing a quick scan of the place, she quickly finished tidying up, placing dirty dishes into the sink. Callie could deal with them later. Putting the left over cottage cheese and food into the fridge, she saw the bottle of tequila on the worktop. For a split second she thought about misplacing it, but decided that Callie would take real offence by that action.
One more quick look around the apartment, she reached Callie's bedroom door. Placing her ear lightly to it she could hear the muffled sobs. Knocking gentle before cracking the door ajar slightly, she looked sadly at the tousled hair thrown between pillows. "Callie Dear, I'll come back with Sofia tomorrow. No matter what happens dear, I will always love you as my own. You made sure my Arizona survived and for that I...well before I start bubbling like a baby I'm going to go. Bye Darling."
Callie waited until she heard the front door close before she turned onto her back looking at the ceiling and sighing, "I couldn't save my Arizona though!"
I Wait In The Rain But I Don't Complain Because I Wait For You
Hours later and a few drinks in, Cristina sat on the sofa reading through her emails. She was trying to keep focused on the list of heart surgeries she was losing out on, but her eyes kept flicking up to the pathetic mess of her friend who sat looking sorry for herself. Finally, Cristina cracked after the fourth unintentional sigh.
"Oh for god sake! Whatever is swirling around in that head of yours, spill before I change my mind."
Callie grabbed for another drink, choosing alcohol over words.
"You have ten seconds to put down that damn beer and talk to me." Cristina growled. "You look and sound like a kicked puppy, and you are ruining my stress-free, child-free, Arizona-free night, so get it out now before I pour this God damn beer over your head and slap it out of you."
Callie adjusted herself so that she was facing her. "I'm ... I don't know! Everybody's all up my ass about stuff. I can't get a break. It wasn't my fault we ended up here, so why do I have to fix it?"
"Wah wah wah wah, what are you five, pointing fingers? How about you tell me what's really going on so we can get on with our night of ignoring each other and drinking?" Cristina laughed when Callie shot her a glare.
"Fine. She can't just show up here and start interfering in my life. She gave that up when she screwed a woman she only knew for what two days... She can't be here. This is my life. My home. I don't want her here." Callie looked sad and confused, her head and her heart having an epic battle.
"Yes you do." Cristina stated, as if it were as simple as that.
"No. NO I don't." Callie crossed her arms, but she couldn't even fool herself. "Yes I do. Damn it, I don't know. I have a life here without her. It took me years to move on. Years. And then I'm happy and finally in a good place and she shows up, and her being here, it screws with my head, okay?"
"Oh for fuck sake Callie, you haven't moved on so don't even bother lying to me of all people! If this was a TV series I'm sure Ingrid Michaelson's music would be playing in the background as you mull over how shitty your life is...oh woe is me two people love me, one is everything I wanted. The other has a nasty habit of ripping my still beating heart from my chest but it continues to beat for her anyway because there is no getting over her. I think highly of you two ladies in a strictly platonic way of course, but you really need to figure it out together! Take your fingers out your asses and go talk like the adults you pretend you are. You have a daughter, my goddaughter that you gave me responsibility over, and she can't keep living half-lives. Life isn't a TV series; you can't just wait for someone else to write your happy ending. You mend bones for a living Callie...bones take time to heal, cracks will always be there, but you take preventative measures to make sure they don't weaken or break again." Callie sat opened mouth at the rant that had left her friends mouth, she was right, but still, where did that come from?
Both women were interrupted when Callie's cell phone rang. The music started blaring out, filling the silence as the two women looked at each other before bursting out laughing.
Ingrid fricken Michaelson's voice mixed with a harmony of laughter filled the air.