"Wake up, sleepyhead." Dean gently shook Cas awake.
"No." Cas grumbled.
"Don't make me hit you." Dean threatened playfully.
"Fine." Cas moaned, sitting up and stretching. "Where are we?"
"A motel." Dean answered.
"A motel where?" Cas asked.
"In America." Dean smirked.
Cas sighed. "There's no getting you to answer, is there?"
"Nope." Dean smiled.
Cas shook his head in disappointment and pulled his bags out of the backseat. He waited outside while Dean got their room. Cas looked around as Dean let him to the room, trying to find any sign of where they were, but Dean picked a very bland hotel with no decorations. As they entered, Dean ran in and jumped onto the bed.
"Oh. As least it's not just my bed you do that to." Cas mused.
"It's fun. You should try it sometime." Dean said.
"Maybe I will." Cas replied, jumping on top of Dean.
"Ow...You kneed me in the stomach, you dick." Dean whined.
"Poor baby." Cas pouted.
"Like I said, you dick." Dean laughed.
"I'm not the dick here. You're the one who kidnapped me to unknown locations." Cas smiled.
"Fine. You want to know where we are? Let's go then." Dean sat up and rolled out from under Cas, grabbing his wrist, but immediately letting go. "What happened to your arm?"
"Michael has a tight grip." Cas shrugged.
"I'll show him a tight grip when I'm strangling the little piece of shit." Dean growled.
"He didn't mean it, Dean. I was asking for it." Cas chuckled. "No big deal."
Dean scowled, but let it go. "Fine. Whatever. Let's go."
Dean turned up the AC/DC coming from the stereo as they climbed in.
"Dean." Cas drawled. "This is terrible music. Turn it off."
"What?" Dean asked, turning up the music volume. "I can't hear you over the sound of good music!"
Cas grabbed the stereo controls and turned it off. "Your eardrums are going to burst."
"At least then I wouldn't have to worry about your constant complaining." Dean smirked. "And, Cas. We have a rule in this car."
"What would that be?" Cas asked.
"Driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole." Dean stated.
"That's a pointless rule." Cas mused.
"Your face is a pointless rule." Dean retorted.
"That makes absolutely zero sense, Dean. Was that supposed to be an insult? It was very well thought out. I can tell." Cas said.
"Shut up." Dean smiled. "Shut that cakehole."
"I'll never shut it." Cas shrugged. "You're going to have to deal with it."
"I'll shut it for you, then." Dean leaned in and kissed Cas.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Cas replied.
"Don't get too excited, Cas." Dean smirked.
"Why not?" Cas asked.
"We're here." Dean laughed.
"Oh!" Cas looked up and saw a beach ahead of them.
Dean leaned in the backseat and tossed Cas his suit and a towel.
"Where the hell'd you get my swimsuit?" Cas exclaimed.
"I was alone in your room for ten hours, Cas. I know it like the back of my hand now." Dean chuckled. "Oh. By the way, I'm envious of your barbie underwear."
"Oh shut up!" Cas yelled. "Gabriel gave me those."
"When? Were you eight?" Dean smiled.
"Last year. He loves giving me things I don't want. Hence the evening gown and all the other random things you've most likely seen."
"You mean like the fishnet stockings, bottle of Viagra, 'I love loose women' T-shirt, cheese flavored condoms, and Dora temporary tattoos?" Dean asked.
"Yes. Those." Cas sighed. "Those were very hidden."
"Like I said, ten hours." Dean smirked.
"You will be the death of me, Dean." Cas snapped. "Now which state are we in?"
"We are in Sarasota, Florida. Some of the softest sand you will see in your life. We're sneaking into a private resort." Dean answered.
"If we get caught, I am so going to murder you." Cas stated.
"Wow. Between you and Michael I'm on a lot of people's hit list." Dean mused.
"With an attitude like yours, I'm sure it's more than just us." Cas sneered.
"You better watch out. I'm a green belt." Dean warned.
"Black belt." Cas smiled smugly and climbed out of the car.
"Damn you. I learned from a gang. I get street cred." Dean defended as he followed Cas to the shoreside lockers.
"Dean. We're going to need a key." Cas said.
"No we don't." Dean pulled a screwdriver out of the back pocket in his jeans.
"Fuck, Dean!" Cas exclaimed. "Do you always carrying breaking and entering tools with you? Are you a burglar when you're not with me?"
"Used to be." Dean shrugged. "I always carry some tools around, just in case. I've picked up a few tricks."
The locker Dean had the screwdriver in swung open and once they were in their swimsuits, they chucked their clothes into it. Dean jammed the lock shut with the screwdriver and hid it behind the sink for later.
"That better be there when we get back or I will hit you. Hard." Cas glared at Dean.
"It'll be there. Rich people don't steal screwdrivers, Cas." Dean chuckled.
"Rich people don't break into lockers and stay in shady hotels." Cas replied.
"Rich people don't sleep in alleys and wear clothing from Sears." Dean smirked.
"Touché." Cas mused.
"I'm not rich anyways." Dean stated.
"You're considered rich if you're seen with me." Cas retorted. "There's no paparazzi around here, is there?"
"I don't think so. It is a private resort." Dean answered.
"Good." Cas sighed. "That created a mess the last time."
"Amen to that." Dean snorted, kicking the sand as he walked.
"Ow!" Cas yelled.
"What now?" Dean asked.
"I stepped on a shell." Cas whined.
"Grow a pair and keep walking, cupcake." Dean laughed.
"I'm no cupcake, Dean. And if I were, I wouldn't be your cupcake." Cas protested as they walked into the water.
"Yeah you would be. You'd be a warm cinnamon cupcake with apple flavored frosting." Dean smiled.
"Do not objectify me to food! Live out your erotic cupcake fantasies elsewhere." Cas exclaimed.
"I'll do whatever I want to you." Dean splashed Cas with water.
"Just know you started this, Dean." Cas grinned slyly as he splashed Dean back.
"I'll be proud to." Dean smirked, tossing a clump of seaweed at Cas.
Cas threw some seaweed back at him. "This stuff is gross!"
"Ha!" Dean yelled, tossing more and more seaweed. "You look like The Little Mermaid gone Miley Cyrus!"
"You look like you still." Cas pouted.
"You sound disappointed." Dean mused, a large clump of seaweed crashing on top of Cas's head.
Cas blew some seaweed out of his eyes and glared at Dean. "Well of course I am. I look like Miley Cyrus and you still look incredibly sexy."
"It's a blessing and a curse." Dean sighed, licking his lips and running his hands through his hair.
Cas went under the water and then quickly pulled Dean's legs out from under him, causing him to fall beneath the water.
"Dammit, Cas!" Dean yelled under the water.
Cas stuck his tongue out at Dean before swimming closer and kissing him. Well, attempting to. A wave kind of knocked them around and Cas ended up hitting Dean's cheek with his nose while Dean's elbow stabbed Cas's side.
"It's much more romantic in the movies. I swear." Cas said as they came up for air.
"Sure, it is." Dean rolled his eyes. "You just don't know how to be romantic."
"I know how to be romantic." Cas argued, folding his arms.
"Oh, really now?" Dean asked. "Let's think of all the pet names you've given me. Well there's assbutt, shitstick, dumb fuck, idiot, cocky bastard, son of a bitch, dick face, back of dicks, asswipe, and the infamous meanie head. Am I forgetting any?"
"Actually you are. There's sarcastic motherfucker in there, too." Cas answered.
Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas. "See what I mean? You're so romantic. What in the world was I thinking?"
"Fine. You want to see romantic? I'll show you romantic." Cas protested before going under the water and pulling Dean's pants down.
"Hey!" Dean yelled, pulling his swim trunks back up. "That's not romantic, that's just weird. But you know what?"
"What?" Cas teased.
Dean went under and pulled Cas's trunks down. "Payback."
Cas glared at him and pulled his shorts back up, pulling Dean's back down. Quickly it became a contest to see who could keep the other from pantsing them the longest. Eventually, Cas pulled Dean's hair gently, causing him to look in a certain direction, where he saw a confused and frightened little girl. Dean let go of Cas's swim trunks and stood up slowly. He and Cas pulled their shorts up at the same time.
"I think we should go." Cas whispered.
"I think we should, too." Dean smiled.
The little girl quickly swam off somewhere else and Dean and Cas ran off to the locker rooms.
"Good going, Cas." Dean smirked.
"This was your fault, too, dickwad." Cas snapped.
"Again with the pet names. You're just so good in relationships. No wonder all the bitches love you." Dean mused. "And you were the one who tried to be romantic and ended up scarring a little girl for life!"
"You tempted me." Cas protested.
"I told you to be romantic, not seven years old." Dean laughed.
"How do you know I don't just have a weird sense of romance?" Cas asked.
"Becuase I know you. And I know you'd rather be a douche bag than admit that you're just a cuddly little teddy bear on the inside." Dean replied.
"I am not a cuddly little teddy bear!" Cas exclaimed.
"Yes. You actually are. And there you go, pretending you're not." Dean smiled.
"Even if I were, who calls themselves a 'cuddly little teddy bear'?" Cas scoffed.
"You can call yourself anything around me." Dean smirked.
"Well, I know one thing. I don't care who in the hell you are. I will never call myself a 'cuddly little teddy bear'." Cas stated.
"I still will." Dean retorted.
"Not if I have anything to say about it." Cas growled.
"Well." Dean shrugged with a sly smiled. "You don't."
"Can you stop being annoying and take me back to that damn hotel room?" Cas glared at him.
Dean sighed. "Again. Such a gentleman."
"You know what?" Cas mused.
"What?"
"Michael is right about one thing. Why in the hell do you tolerate me?" Cas laughed.
"Don't know." Dean answered. "I ask myself the same thing around every five minutes. Never can find an answer though, but in all honesty, I don't care if I never do."
"Sometimes I wonder why I tolerate you." Cas muttered.
"Don't be so butthurt." Dean chuckled as they climbed into the Impala.
"I never understand that reference." Cas said confused.
"That's nothing new, Cas. You never understand my references. That fancy ass school that you're paying way too much for really needs to educate you in pop culture." Dean retorted.
"You really need to shut up." Cas moaned.
"You really need to get some manners." Dean laughed.
"You really need to keep your eyes on the road before you get us killed." Cas remarked.
"You really need to know that I'd rather keep my eyes on you." Dean smirked.
"You really need to know that I'd rather not die because you thought I was sexy." Cas snapped.
"I never said you were sexy." Dean stated.
"You were thinking it." Cas replied.
"Not really." Dean shrugged.
"Well I don't care what you think." Cas pouted. "I'm sexy and I know it."
Dean burst out laughing.
"What?" Cas asked.
"I am showing you that music video the second we get back into the hotel." Dean wheezed.
"What music video? What are you talking out? What song? I don't understand." Cas stated.
"Sexy and I know it. It's a song by some really weird people and I know you'll just love the music video." Dean said slyly.
"So in other words, I'm going to hate it and possibly be left traumatized by it?"
"Yes." Dean answered. "We all are."
"Great." Cas muttered.
"Do you want me to pour some sugar on you?" Dean asked.
"Why the fuck would you do that?" Cas scoffed.
"It's a song by Def Leppard. Also, because you're so bitter." Dean smirked.
"Oh I'm the bitter one." Cas rolled his eyes.
"Yes. You are. I'm the clever, funny, perky one. Even my nipples are perky." Dean replied.
"You're also an idiotic, stubborn, douchewad sometimes." Cas snorted.
"I hate to break it to you, but I think you just described yourself, Cas." Dean smiled.
"Don't make me hit you." Cas threatened. "Don't think I won't."
"I never doubt what you say." Dean laughed. "You're spontaneous, Cas. I'll give you that."
They pulled into the parking space outside their hotel room and Cas pulled his towel and suit from the backseat.
Dean heard Cas groan in disgust from the bathroom.
"You get your period already?" Dean asked.
"Shut up, Dean. You're not funny!" Cas yelled.
"Pfft! I'm hilarious." Dean replied.
"Not to me you, shitstick." Cas retorted. "Now why does this dump not have a pulley stringy thingy in the shower?"
"A. Becuase it's a dump. B. I have no clue what you're talking about." Dean answered.
"Yes you do. All the hotels I stay at have something in the shower that you can pull across and then you can hang suits and towels to dry from it." Cas stated.
Dean sighed. "Well, you know us poor people do?"
Dean jumped up from the bed and went in the bathroom. He pulled the shower curtain to the side and tossed Cas's suit on top of the metal bar.
"But the water's going to drip on the floor and that's dangerous." Cas protested.
Dean shook his head as he put a towel by the edge of the edge of the shower. "Better?"
"Not really." Cas replied.
"What's wrong now?" Dean ran his fingers through his hair.
"Isn't it obvious?" Cas scoffed.
"No. Humor me." Dean said flatly.
"The towels going to get wet from the dripping water." Cas scowled.
"Cas." Dean whined.
"What?" Cas replied.
"Deal with it or so help me God I will tie you to a chair and duct tape your mouth shut." Dean snapped. "I'm sorry that your shower thong is gone, but you get what you pay for. And I pay thirty bucks a night for this place. Thirty bucks doesn't get you much."
"Neither does being a douche bag, Dean." Cas sighed leaning up and kissing Dean.
Cas burrowed his hands into Dean's back pockets as he pressed into Dean harder. After a moment, Dean pulled away to see Cas smiling smugly.
"Good God, Cas. What was that for?" Dean laughed.
"I felt like it." Cas shrugged. "And you were being pissy."
"Or you could've just told me to eat a Snickers." Dean stated.
"Why would I do that?" Cas asked. "What does delicious candy have to do with any of this?"
Dean raised an eye brow at him.
"That was a pop culture reference, wasn't it?" Cas mused.
Dean nodded before leaning back into Cas.
"Wow, Cas. Is that a knife in your pants or are you just excited to see me?" Dean whispered.
"I swear to God, Dean...if that was another pop culture reference I would stab you if I had a knife in my pants right now." Cas scowled.
"So you are excited to see me." Dean smiled.
Cas glared at him. "I am not amused, Dean."
"I beg to differ." Dean smirked, leaning in and sucking on Cas's neck.
"Fuck you." Cas moaned, craning his neck to the side.
"That's the plan." Dean replied.
"Well don't keep me waiting." Cas whined.
"You asked for it." Dean warned as he crouched down and slumped Cas over his shoulders as if he was carrying an unconscious person.
"Is this...supposed to be...sexy?" Cas asked.
"Nope." Dean laughed. "It's supposed to confuse you."
"Why would you want to confuse me?"
"Becuase I like when the cuddly little teddy bear is confused." Dean answered.
"Oh do not start that again." Cas mumbled, Dean tossing him onto one of the beds.
"I never really stopped." Dean said.
"You're annoying." Cas groaned.
"So are you." Dean smiled, leaning down and kissing Cas again.
Cas sat there staring at Dean's leg with fascination and intrigue.
"See something you like?" Dean asked.
"Your legs." Cas answered.
"I figured." Dean snorted.
"They're so...adorable." Cas continued.
"Adorable? Thanks...I think?" Dean laughed.
"No, but seriously. Just look at them." Cas mused.
"I look at them everyday, Cas. It's hard not to." Dean chuckled.
Cas turned and leaned on Dean's stomach, staring up at him. Dean waved at Cas.
"Stop that." Cas ordered.
"Stop what?" Dean smirked.
"Being...you." Cas stammered.
"Who else do you want me to be? Channing Tatum?" Dean scoffed.
"That would be nice. Yes." Cas answered.
"Screw you, Cas." Dean said.
Cas smiled up at him. "So rude..."
"Says you." Dean retorted.
"Are you saying that I'm rude?" Cas asked.
"Very." Dean replied.
Cas frowned, then shrugged. "You're probably right."
"I know I am." Dean smirked.
Cas put his hands on Dean's shoulders and pulled himself up to kiss him. Dean smiled up at him.
"What a cuddly little teddy bear you are." Dean mused.
Cas glared at Dean, but then started laughing sarcastically. "No."
A/N: Quick little update on my arm here. I do have a rotator cuff tear, but on top of that, my arm is also broken and I didn't even know it. Like damn, how does that happen. I have like a hairline fracture that fucking goes in three different directions. How did I not know that? I don't know if I'm going to have to get a cast or anything. Even if I did, the hospitals apparently don't do casting anymore. -_- Thanks Obama. (Did he even do that? I'll blame him anyways. I blame him when I burn my toast. (I actually never eat toast. I don't get up before noon.)) For those who are keeping up to date with Season 9, please tell me I'm not the only one on the verge of crying with Sam's little monologue at the end? And OMG no! Garth! *sobs uncontrollably* His face when Dean told him about Kevin. Oh God. Hopefully next episode will make up for it.
"Nice shorts."
"Nice hair net."