.
Disclaimer: Not mine
A/N: Sigh. My computer crashed the other day. Yes. I know. Depressing.
So that explains the wait. And my dismal mood.
Another deep sigh.
Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
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"Edward," I said, shaking his shoulder. I sighed when he didn't stir. I felt my mouth twitch at his sleeping form. Well, he'd stayed awake for about an hour. Maybe the caffeine would kick in soon…
His head was pressed against the glass of the window, his mouth slightly open, and his eyes shut.
Halfway through the drive to school, I realized he'd fallen asleep. We'd talked scarcely…and by scarcely, I mean basically none at all. Which is maybe why he fell asleep. I sighed and unbuckled my seatbelt. We were in the school parking lot, but I wasn't in a rush to get going.
"Edward!" I said louder, closer to his ear. He jumped, blinking his eyes open and squinting one at me. I smiled because I couldn't help it. He looked confused and his hair was messed up from sleeping against the window. I leaned away once his green eyes, lids-drooped and lazy and beautiful, locked with mine.
"You fell asleep," I said, reaching to grab my backpack from the back seat. He yawned, rubbing his eyes and scratching his stomach.
"How are you so cheery?" he grumbled, closing his eyes again and resting his head on the window.
"Practice. A lot of it."
He raised his eyebrows but his eyes were still closed.
"How much time do we have?" he asked without much excitement and a deep sigh.
"Not much," I said, mirroring his tone.
"You don't sound too thrilled."
"I…well, I'm not…"
I stared at the steering wheel as silence followed. I looked over to see Edward was looking at me with lazy eyes again. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he looked laid back. Funny how that is mixed up with fatigue so often.
"Nevermind," I said, shaking my head and unlocking the doors. I climbed out, praying to God he'd follow.
I shut the door and he was already standing by the trunk of my truck. He still looked sleepy, but he had his ratty, graying, black backpack slung over one shoulder. Where all his belongings ratty?
He had fading, hole-y jeans and a pale blue t-shirt. It looked like someone wrote with Sharpie on the hem, but I couldn't make out the words. There was writing on the collar too and some sort of doodle of a moose on the back of the right shoulder. His sneakers were falling apart and the laces were filthy. He was channeling hobo-chic.
I forced a tight smile, adjusting the strap of my backpack and we walked towards the school doors. Why did it feel so intimidating this year?
People I knew, people I knew who didn't know me, people I never talked to, and people I ignored all were taking the same walk to the school. They leaned against cars, embracing and chattering and grinning. They walked in pairs, triplets, and crowds to the school doors, all taking different routes. Around cars, down the middle, zig-zagging because they got caught up in their conversation. And anyone who looked my way did a double take when they saw the foreign person standing next to me.
A foreign person with a beautiful face and a haunting expression and made their hearts pound. A foreign person whose eyes were on the sky and who looked like he could fall over from fatigue at any time.
"Are people nice, here?" Edward asked suddenly, glancing at me as we walked.
"Um…yeah, I guess," I responded with a shrug, "Why do you ask?"
"We're avoiding them," he said, gesturing with his hand at the slow, straight-line path we were making that looked significantly different from the more free-spirited walks of my peers. He raised one eyebrow at me.
"I kind of…" I began, blushing, "Keep to myself a lot…"
Why did I say that?!
"No criticism here," Edward responded, seeming to grumble as he looked at the floor, "But everyone seems to be looking at you…"
I snapped my head up, looking around. People were looking at Edward. I laughed and shook my head.
"Everyone's looking at you."
"Me? Because I'm the new kid?"
"I guess so."
"Or do I have something in my teeth?" he teased, leaning down and baring his pearly whites at me. I laughed and he grinned.
"Edward!" a chipper voice called out. Edward turned away from me, looking at a girl standing at the entrance. I smiled to myself in a sort of resignation.
Of course he'd be friends with Alice.
She was wearing some sort of large t-shirt with many, many colorful fishes designed on it. She had a light brown, weaved, belt around her waist and black skinny jeans with silver stitching on the knees and ankles.
I can't tell you how many times I wished I could dress like Alice.
She had two cups of, what I'm guessing was, coffee and was waving at Edward. She smiled at me too, like she always did, and I smiled hesitantly back.
"I'll see you later, Edward," I said, inching away from him and towards the entrance, "Don't get into any trouble."
Edward laughed at that.
"Okay, I'll see you, then."
I sighed and felt relieved, for some reason. Maybe it's because I could just let Edward travel towards the Alice-type group and we could live this year separately. Normally.
Edward
I watched her go, torn between coffee and a girl that fascinated me. A girl that smelled amazing in the morning and was a few inches away from my face a few minutes ago when she had to wake me up after I fell asleep in her car.
I guiltily chose the coffee because I apparently don't have any balls.
Alice grinned at me, looking smug for some reason. I took the coffee from her hands and thanked her. I then frowned at her smug expression. She looked like she knew something I didn't know…but probably should know…
"Did you spike it?" I asked, carefully pulling my lips away from the coffee. She laughed.
"If I wanted to spike your drink, you'd be in a hula skirt, football helmet, and halfway to Alaska by now."
"That's nice," I said casually like she was telling me about her fish. We began to walk towards the door and Alice grinned up at me.
"I see you got out of bed okay."
"If by okay you mean with excruciating pain, then yes, I got up okay."
"It'll get easier."
"That's a boldfaced lie."
"I know."
We walked into the school and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. Teenagers and lockers and chattering and eyes looking at me. I let out a shaky sigh. Alice and I had stopped walking.
"So you're rooming with the police chief?" Alice asked, "Or were you just in the mood for a one nighter with his daughter last night?"
"I'm rooming there," I said, laughing, "She has to drive me because I don't have a car."
"Same room?"
"No. I sleep in the guest room. Same bathroom, though…"
"Unfortunately?"
"The bathroom? Or the different rooms?"
"The different rooms."
I frowned at her as she smiled up at me with a smug look again.
"We'll talk about this later," she said, patting my arm, "You have to go to the front desk to get your schedule and locker."
And with that, she skipped off. I watched her go, feeling dumbfounded and confused. Then I realized something.
Where the fuck is the front desk?
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"No, seriously, we could really use you on the team," some Mike kid chattered as we walked out of gym class. The day had been going just fine. Boring classes, dozing off a lot, math class with Alice, accidentally hitting some freshman with the door of my locker, people asking me where I was from but not really talking to me and mostly giving me deer-in-the-headlights looks. It wasn't even lunch time yet. And then gym class came.
So what if I can run faster than all these small-town hicks put together?
Does that mean I'm obligated to be on the fucking track team?
No. So shut up Mike and go get some real hair and get rid of those wannabe-prep clothes.
"I don't do sports," I said, dodging some kid who was running down the hallway with an armful of papers.
"C'mon, man, you could actually help us win something this year," he said, almost begging. I raised an eyebrow, tempted to smack him and damn gym class to hell. Can I drop the class?
"How 'bout I think about it," I said. Mike whooped, which I found unnecessary and rather pathetic. I took a step away from him. And I'd been having such a good day.
"Great, man, thanks so much."
I nodded.
"What class do you have now?" he continued.
"Bio."
"Really? Awesome, so do I!"
Go.
Fuck.
A.
Camel.
"That class is really hard, man," he said, shaking his head, "I think I'm failing."
"I wouldn't be surprised."
Mike laughed, thinking I was kidding.
We walked. He talked. I saw a brick wall and was tempted to go smash my head against it. Why was this kid so annoying?
Just when I thought I was going to get kicked out for homicide, I heard Bella's laughter across the hallway. I looked up to see Bella walking with a light-brown haired girl, books in their hands and Bella laughing at something her friend said.
She looked up at me, our eyes locked, she kind of smiled timidly and I tried to kind of smile timidly back. She glanced at Mike and I wanted to throw him out the window because he was still talking to me. Am I always this violent with annoying douche-bags I just meet?
Mike opened the door to the Bio room and I followed. He chattered on until he realized I needed to talk to the teacher because I was the new kid. I heard the door shut and, I'm not even kidding, smelled Bella walk in. Why did she smell so good? And why could I identify the smell already? I think Alice might have actually spiked my coffee. I honestly wouldn't be surprised.
I talked to the teacher and he grumbled, didn't make small talk like the other teachers, and told me to take a seat. I turned around and was oh so pleased to see all the seats pretty much taken.
"You can take a seat next to Ms. Swan," the teacher said, gesturing to Bella. She looked up when her name was called and glanced at the empty seat next to her. Some girl with fake nails and big blonde hair whispered something in the aisle next to her and Bella blushed, looking at her notebook.
I sat next to Bella and class started. I leaned my elbows on the table and glanced over at her. She was taking notes. I was doodling pictures of giant viruses eating buildings. Five minutes into class and the giant influenza virus had already eaten up all of Forks. Not to mention most of the page I was writing on.
I was bored again, but this blonde chick was staring at me. I felt uncomfortable. I looked over at Bella, whose eyes were transfixed on the notebook. Yeah the blonde chick was kinda hot, I guess, but she looked plastic. And too hopeful. She looked like she knew she could have me tonight.
No dating.
Sorry.
I was told not to leave my mark in Forks. I laughed internally at my sex joke. I'm so gross. Then something else dawned on me, stopping my internal perverted snickering.
It was going to be like I was never here, right?
I realized this with a sort of dismal feeling. I guess things really would be pretty boring here, then. But I also felt relieved. Maybe I could go about this somewhat normally and be back home in no time.
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Bella
It was cold by the time lunch came around. I grabbed my sweater from my locker and prayed Edward hadn't said anything about…well, anything. My house, my habits, my weirdness, my everything. Worse, I hoped he hadn't broadcasted he was living in my house. Because the way Lauren was talking about him…she would start so many rumors about me and I couldn't go through with that again. And Edward would mean no harm, which is the worst part, because he didn't know what any little tidbit of information he shared could do in the hands of Lauren Mallory. But I did.
I felt sick, worse than before, and Angela looked worried as I strolled into the cafeteria.
"It's nothing," I responded to her concerns.
"You didn't look so good the other day either," she said, frowning and putting her hand on my forehead, "Are you sure-"
"Don't worry about it, Angela, I probably just need something in my stomach."
She didn't buy it, but she dropped the topic. I was going into anxiety-mode, tugging at my clothes and feeling ridiculous for doing so, but playing with the stray thread on my sweater too. Angela and I sat down at our normal lunch spot. Occasionally Mike Newton, who I saw bouncing after Edward today, and his posse came and sat down with us, or Angela's friends from Band Club, but normally it was just us.
I watched Lauren walk in with Jessica and felt my insides turn as I struggled not to remember. I mean, Lauren probably didn't remember, so why should I? Half the school probably doesn't remember either, so why am I so worried?
I huffed and Angela looked up at me, but I glued my eyes to my pizza.
It was programmed now, that's why. This stupid, ugly, hateful, closed-off-ness and blend-in-ness. How I wished I walk and dress and talk and laugh and smile like Alice could. But for now, my brain was still content with being in the background. Not quite a high school outcast, but not quite a high school queen. I shook away my thoughts.
Alice skipped into the lunchroom, Edward following behind her with a bored expression on his face. Alice appeared to be chattering away, not noticing how people looked up to give Edward their casual glances laced the Forks Judgment: who are his parents, what do they do, what are his grades, and how does he dress. Everything else doesn't matter here.
And unfortunately for Edward, the cafeteria only knew one of the four. Which means he'd spark curiosity.
"Bella," I heard a voice from behind me say. I turned around to see Lauren standing there with a grin that was practiced enough to look genuine. I put on my not-so-practiced grin.
"So, I heard you're buddies with the new kid," she said, sliding in between Angela and me. Angela chewed on her straw, looking pissed as hell.
"Buddies?" I asked with a very practiced calm. I blinked up at her innocently.
"You walked him to the front door, right?" she said, raising her eyebrows. I noted that Jessica was sitting two tables away, chatting with Tyler as her eyes glanced at Lauren.
"Yeah, he was asking me where he could get his schedule," I lied casually. Lauren's face fell a little.
"Oh," she said, grinning again, "Well, I was just curious. Actually, everyone's wondering what his story is. Mike said he doesn't talk much, but apparently he's a great runner."
I shrugged. Bit into my apple. Looked up at Lauren calmly.
"He's really hot," Lauren said, grinning again even though I already knew what she thought and knew that if she found out he was living in my house, she would ruin me forever. I laughed even though my gut was on fire.
"Already on the prowl?" I teased, being all joking-like. She laughed.
"Of course I am," she said, grinning and standing up, "Thanks for the chat, Bella."
She walked away and Angela gave me a raised-eyebrow look that said I had some explaining to do.
"So it's going to be a secret, then?" Angela said as I looked at my tray, "I mean, I haven't told anyone…but…can you deal with that?"
"I have to," I sighed, "At least until the curiosity winds down."
I looked over at Edward, who was sitting with Alice now. Alice usually sat by herself because she was independent and above all this high school crap and free spirited and not self conscious about what other people think. She usually hung out with the artists and sometimes Band Club, but other than that, she wasn't tied to any group.
I wondered what Edward was telling her.
I wondered what Edward had told anyone.
Edward
The pizza was soggy. I stole Alice's sandwich instead.
I was chewing and chewing and chewing and then I realized Alice had abruptly stopped talking. She was staring that far-away look, but this time it was aimed at…
I followed the line of her stare.
Bella.
Interesting. I decided to get her attention. I kicked her leg and she jumped, looking over at me.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" she asked.
"What are you looking at?"
"Oh please, just cut to the 'why' already; I know you figured out who I was staring at," Alice said, rolling her eyes.
"All right," I said, swallowing and putting my sandwich down, "Why?"
"Because she's puuuurrrdddyy."
"Alice, do you have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, actually, and no I am neither bi nor gay."
I laughed.
"So then why were you staring?" I asked again.
"I just told you!"
"But I thought you were kidding."
"Nope."
I gave her a scrutinizing look and then dropped it. If she wanted to be difficult, then fine. She stole the sandwich off my tray.
"Hey!" I said as she took a bite.
"It's my sandwich, bitch. Eat your pizza."
"It's soggy," I whined.
"That's why you're supposed to take the ones in the back."
"Well, you didn't say-"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lessons are better learned the hard way."
"Then why'd you let me take your sandwich in the first place?"
"I'm merciful."
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I took my green vest out of my locker, scowling at it. I really wished I had a match right now. Or my lighter. Too bad I had been in my 'better judgment' mind set when packing my backpack last night. I sighed, tossing the ugly ass thing in my backpack and slamming my locker shut.
I swear, all the freshman in the hallway ducked.
The hallways were a bustlin' and the stoners were a smokin' and Alice was talking to six of them at once. Those artist types. I leaned against my locker, feeling….feeling bored, mostly. Boredom, I decided, was the most excruciating cramp in the world. And I was cramping all over, tempted to snatch one of Alice's friends and steal their joint. Just to shake things up.
But drugs were illegal. And I couldn't remember, but I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to do anything illegal. Technically, smoking underage was illegal too, but cigarettes weren't illegal substances. And hey, I had to keep my sanity somehow.
I watched Alice walk out the door with two of her artsy friends, wondering how the hell they didn't get caught in the school with that shit. She waved to me cheerily.
My fingers were itching to do something. That was the addiction in my talking. I rolled my eyes at myself and felt someone tap my shoulder. I looked down to see Bella standing there, her eyes shifty and her stance stiff.
"Hey," I said, frowning, "What's wrong?"
"Huh? Oh. Nothing," she said, shaking her head as if shaking her thoughts of something. She set a determined look on her face and I didn't say anything, letting her do her thing. Whatever thing that was. And yet I couldn't find it in myself to judge her at all. She seemed too angelic.
"Okay," I said, "Ready to go?"
"Yeah…do you have work today?"
"Upsettingly so."
"Okay, so I guess I'll drive you there."
"Thanks."
"It's nothing."
We began walking to the door, me glancing at Bella as her eyes were glued forwards. Was this her normal routine? I was curious about her suddenly. We walked out the door and into the parking lot. Few cars were left, and I guess people were just eager to get out. At least somebody shared my feelings.
I hopped in the car, Bella climbing into the driver's seat. I looked at her as she started the car, her eyes shifty again. But the more I looked at her, the more curious I got. There was just something about her. She looked at me looking at her and I switched my glance to the radio.
She drove in silence. I sat in silence.
"Um…so did you make any friends today?" she asked. Then she blushed.
"Sorry, that came out a lot more….motherly…than I-" she said.
"Actually, I played blocks with Alice and peed my pants and ate glue," I deadpanned. Bella laughed.
"Shut up," she said, blushing and ducking her head as I laughed.
"No, my day was umm….fine. Yeah, I'll call it fine."
"I guess it wasn't too exciting."
"You guess correctly."
"I saw you talking to Mike."
"Does he always have ants up his ass?"
Bella laughed at that and I marveled at the sound, wanting to make her laugh some more, which I found….creepy. Yeah, I'll call it creepy.
"Yeah, but he's harmless," Bella said, grinning in a way that revealed she was definitely lying.
"So you haven't talked to him, then?"
"Okay, normally I try to avoid him."
"And the truth comes out."
"Well besides him, did anyone else bother you?"
"Yeah."
Bella's eyebrows rose.
"The fucking pizza was giving me a lot of grief," I grumbled as Bella rolled her eyes. I grinned.
"Why are you so curious?" I asked further. Bella shrugged, her eyes cautious again. I suddenly figured it out, feeling stupid for not seeing it before.
"I didn't…tell anyone about our…situation," I said, looking out the window now, "If that's what you were worried about…I mean, if you'd rather not have people gossiping, I guess I get it…"
I glanced over to see Bella's face look sad as she watched the road.
"It sounds so stupid," Bella sighed, "I'm sorry I…I guess I make a big deal out of…"
She stopped talking when she saw me just looking at her. Even more interesting.
"Right, um, so…" she stuttered, fiddling with the radio dials. I put my hand over the hand that was pressing random buttons and she looked up at me with shock. I stilled her motions and I locked eyes with her, my eyebrows raised.
"I'm not exactly keen on spreading my biography around either," I said, "And I'm not embarrassed about staying at your house, nor do I harbor any urge to spread rumors about you. I'm not going out of my way to embarrass you, either, so if that takes keeping quiet, then so be it."
Bella pulled her hand away.
"Thanks," she mumbled, "I'm not embarrassed about you living in my…I just…I really don't like the attention. I'm sorry."
Oh. Well, fuck, you don't need to apologize for that. For anything, actually.
"You don't need to explain anything," I said.
"Thanks."
"Don't worry about it. Really."
She gave me a thankful smile and we returned to silence.
Bella
I felt stupid. About judging him, about worrying about what people think, about being such a little gossiping middle schooler. God. Edward was so brave and laid back and chill compared to me. And he had more things for people to talk about than I did. Why couldn't I be like that?
So this is the about face, Bella.
Learn at least something from this: you are so worried about being judged, and yet you leave judgment all around you.
Geez. Keep an open mind for once.
I sighed, feeling doubtful I'd be able to face this direction for longer than a few weeks. But hey, I'd try.
And Edward…well, he's not who you thought, right?
So who is he?
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I'm chug-chug-chuggin' along. That's how I'd describe my speed for this story. There's another big plot thingy next chapter. Wooohoo! I thought I needed to kick start this story.
Anyway, I'm again sorry for the wait. If you didn't already read about the unfortunate news up in my other authors note at the top of the chapter: my computer crashed a few days ago. As in broke, dead, gone, finished. Yes, it was aggravating.
So that means I had to rewrite everything. Which was just awesome.
Spread the love my way!! (press "review")