Dean yawned as he looked in the bathroom mirror. Of course, the hot water wouldn't work. He splashed himself in the face with ice cold water, which is a sure fire way to wake him up. The bags under his eyes were getting more visible. It was high noon now and Cas still hadn't woken up. He wondered if he should take him to a doctor. The only reason he hadn't immediately was because Cas looked pleasant. He was smiling as it happened, his blue eyes filled with more life than Dean had ever seen in them. Even as he was unconscious, he looked so, so complete.
Dean walked back over to Cas and checked for a pulse and for breathing. Everything was fine and Cas still looked the same as ever. Dean planted a kiss on Cas's lips and smiled. He poked Cas a little bit to see if he was waking up, but he didn't react to the touches. Dean sighed and left the room, quickly heading towards the office for his fourth cup of coffee. When he entered the room, he saw the lump of blankets that was Cas, starting to move. Dean took a large swig of coffee and set it on the dresser, hurrying over towards Cas, He sat on the edge of the bed by Cas's chest and slowly stroked his messy hair, causing Cas to stir slightly.
"Hey, Cas." Dean whispered softly.
Cas shifted a little more under the blankets.
"Cas..." Dean gently shook Cas's shoulder.
Cas made a small whimper before slowly opening his eyes, only to be greeted with big green ones looking down at him.
"Hey, sleepyhead." Dean smiled as Cas let out a small yawn.
Cas smiled back up at him. "Am I in heaven?"
"No, Castiel, all mighty angel of Thursday, heaven hasn't called you back just yet." Dean laughed. "You're just in the closest motel I could find."
"Dean..." Cas breathed.
"Dean." Dean nodded.
Cas grinned widely. "You love me."
"Yep. I do love me a good Cas." Dean chimed.
Cas pulled Dean down on him by his jacket and kissed him lovingly.
"That was pleasant." Dean mused.
"You love me!" Cas exclaimed. "I remember! You love me!"
"Yes, Cas. I love you." Dean chuckled. "Are you okay?"
"I'm great Dean!" Cas giggled. "You love me!"
"Okay, Cas." Dean sighed amusedly. "What's going on?"
"I know you love me." Cas smiled. "I can feel it. You love me, Dean! You do!"
"Cas. I tell you I love you a gazillion times a day." Dean smirked. "You should be feeling the love."
"I finally do!" Cas sang.
"Are you stoned? Did someone spike your drink or something?" Dean laughed.
Cas shook his head, and then whispered, all the while smiling. "I can feel you, Dean."
"I can feel me, too, Cas." Dean rubbed his hand. "See? Feeling me."
"That's not what I mean, Dean." Cas rolled slightly onto his side. "I can feel you inside me. You make me all warm."
"In which sense?" Dean asked, intrigued by the site of Castiel, his Castiel, looking like a small child, looking up at him with an innocent, wide-eyed, gaze and smiling like all the shit he'd ever been through had been forgotten...like he was pure again.
"I can feel, Dean. I can feel! And it feels beautiful. I can't feel anything bad, though. I don't feel guilt or anger or pain now. I can only feel you. I can feel you loving me. I can feel it swimming inside me, in the whole of my being, Dean. I finally know love! I can feel you love me!" Cas cried in joy.
"And you couldn't before?" Dean raised an eyebrow.
Cas shook his head. "I couldn't. I thought I could, but I couldn't."
"How couldn't you? I told you I loved you all the time?" Dean was the one tilting his head in confusion for once.
"I wouldn't let you in." Cas answered. "I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"I don't understand..." Dean said. "Why not?"
"I couldn't hear the truth. The voices in my head screamed too loud to hear you speak. But finally, you spoke loud enough, Dean, and I could hear the truth. And I heard the truth, and it was beautiful and it was bright and it was loud. And the dark around me vanished as it was drowned out by your light, Dean." Tears of joy formed at the edges of Cas's eyes. "The darkness of my world locked me tight inside myself, but your words were so bright that they took that darkness away until all that was left was beauty and admiration and happiness. The darkness was gone and and I was able to break free and in the end, its as simple as this: You unlocked me, Dean. You were the key that fit."
"You're like a walking bible encyclopedia. What verse is that?" Dean laughed.
Cas furrowed his brows in confusion. "That isn't in the bible. That's just me saying that."
"Oh...that was very poetic Cas, beautiful really, but maybe you should go back to sleep. You're obviously a little off balance from the whole being unconscious for almost a whole day thing." Dean said, wiping a falling tear of Cas's face.
"I'm perfectly normal, Dean." Cas grabbed the sleeve of Dean's jacket. "I know what I'm saying."
"Cas..." Dean sighed.
"It feels so good Dean." Cas breathed. "You're intoxicating."
"Thanks, Cas." Dean chuckled. "I stil-"
"I'm not through Dean. Just being with you now feels like the blood rushing under my skin is boiling. Every time you touch me, I feel like I'm being hit by a lightning bolt. Kissing you feels like I'm not even on Earth anymore, like I'm being tossed through the stars with you. What I spent so long thinking was love before is nothing compared to this. Most of all though, Dean, I've never felt so loved in my life than when you were holding me close to you. And I knew the second I felt it, that it was love. It was your love. And when I fell unconscious, it wasn't due to pain, or fatigue, or stress. It was because all these sensations surged through me at once and they were...overpowering." Cas's breathing was heavy as he described it all. "And now I know just how much you love me, and it's more than I ever thought was humanly possible. And now my world all makes sense."
"You're serious, aren't you?" Dean exhaled a shaky breath.
"Of course, Dean." Cas smiled. "You fixed me."
"No, I didn't Cas. You were never broken." Dean said, laughing in disbelief. "Oh God. I love you."
"Trust me, Dean. I know." Cas replied, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Dean. "I love you, too."
"If I kiss you will you pass out again?" Dean asked.
"I'll try not to." Cas answered, leaning in towards Dean. As soon as their lips met, Cas's eyes flew open and he inhaled sharply. His arms flew around Dean and pulled him closer. Even though it was far from it, it felt like Cas's first kiss all over again. Shivers went down his spine as Dean pressed his lips into him.
"You okay there, Cas?" Dean laughed.
"Whatever you did to me, Dean Winchester, you did it right." Cas breathed.
"I don't even know what I did." Dean smirked.
"You stole my heart. That's what you did. You do have a history of thievery you've told me." Cas smiled.
"You are something else, Cas." Dean stroked the side of Cas's face with his thumb. "But I think I can live with that."
Dean leaned back into Cas, they're lips quickly going back into motion. Cas moaned quietly as Dean's fingers inched their way up Cas's outer thigh until they reached his hip, where he slowly rubbed in circles. Cas shuddered and quickly moved his hands up to Dean's hair.
"Make it stop." Cas groaned.
"Make what stop?" Dean asked.
"Ugh. This whole loving thing. Now everything feels strange and different with you." Cas replied.
"I can't exactly stop loving you, Cas." Dean laughed. "And good strange or bad strange?"
"Both." Cas pouted.
"Care to clarify?" Dean smirked.
Cas frowned. "It's complicated. How do I explain it?"
"You tell me." Dean responded.
Cas thought for a few minutes. "Everything feels nice, I guess. It feels nicer than before. I guess I was kind of, I don't know!"
"Emotionally constipated?" Dean suggest.
"Sure. What the hell... in denial I think fit better, but all you had to do was say one fucking sentence and it brought this all on."
"I have three things to say to that, Cas. First thing being, you make it sound like a put a spell on you." Dean laughed. "Second thing being, that you said everything feels nicer. Where's the bad in that? Final thought. What sentence exactly finally convinced you that I love you instead of millions of 'I love you's?"
"Technically, you did put a spell on me. Love is like a spell, Dean. You get wrapped up and entranced in something and you can't help it, you can't change it no matter how much you want to or try. You're practically forced into loving someone and there's no way out of it." Cas mused. "The bad in everything feeling nicer is that it feels too much nicer. I've literally been awake fifteen minutes, and every time you so much as unintentionally touch me, I just want to to touch me again. Not in a sexual way or anything, just an affectionate way. Everything's just too good and it makes you addictive and I don't want to stop once I start."
"No change there." Dean smiled.
"Shut up." Cas snapped. "And when you told off Michael was when I realized you loved me."
"I've yelled at your brother more times than I have fingers on my hands." Dena snorted. "What makes this time so- Oh, I see. It's about because I blew up in his face when he said that I only was with you for the sex wasn't it?"
Cas remained silent.
"It was, wasn't it?" Dean teased.
"It wasn't just that." Cas said. "It was also when you kept begging me to stop hitting him. You didn't want me to stop because it would hurt me or because Michael might be hurt, you wanted me to stop for you. You didn't want to have to sit and watch me in pain and so angry."
"I'm an open book, aren't I?" Dean chuckled.
"Did I answer all your questions?" Cas huffed.
"One more. Why do you think me loving you changes a thing?" Dean asked.
"I'm, I'm not sure..." Cas stammered.
"What's your theory? Think about it." Dean inquired.
"I suppose it could be that my whole life I've been the loser, the youngest, the bullied, the nerd, the freak, the outcast, the weirdo, the teacher's pet, that awkward kid, the kid people take advantage of to get good scores on their tests, the one who always gets picked last, the one who no one's wanted..." Cas started bittersweetly. "And then you waltz into my life like nobody's business, become my boyfriend, and I finally believe you're sincere when you say 'I love you'. You're the first person to say that and actually mean it. I mean, Lucifer and Gabriel say it, but they're family. You're the first person to say you love me and mean it and it just makes me finally feel special I guess, being the one who's loved instead of the freak or loser. And every time I'm around you, I guess you make me feel special, and I just want more of it."
"Bingo." Dean grinned. "That's what I think it is, too. It has nothing to do with me. It's all you, Castiel Novak. Leave the sexy boyfriend out of this."
"It's all about you, though." Cas replied.
"So if you think that feeling special around me is a problem, then don't make it exclusive to me. Find someone else who's in love with you. Then, more than one person will love you and it won't be just me. It'll dissipate." Dean suggested.
"I don't want anyone else's love, Dean. I just want yours. You're the one I care about. You're the one who matters to me. If some stranger were in love with me, too bad. It wouldn't mean anything to me." Cas argued.
"You are impossible to work with. You want me to love you, but you don't want to feel loved. Hm? How does that work?" Dean joked.
"Shut up." Cas sighed. "And Dean, you ask how is everything feeling better such a bad thing? I just woke up from passing out. I figured out you loved me, it created a chain reaction in my thoughts, and I got so ecstatic and felt so many things at once, it could've put me in a coma."
"You passed out from happiness and pleasure, Cas." Dean laughed. "There's worse ways to pass out."
"Like your boyfriend and his textbook." Dean coughed. "So, go into more detail about things that feel 'nicer'."
"Is this out of curiosity or for your erotic pleasure?" Cas asked.
"Little bit of both." Dean shrugged. "So spill."
Cas sighed in agitation and changed positions so his head was in Dean's lap. Dean, out of habit, began fidgeting with Cas's hair, messing it up and running his fingers through it. He watched as Cas slowly closed his eyes and smiled, unaware he was doing it. His smile was one of complete contentment and pleasure. Dean scratched Cas's head softly before flicking his nose.
Cas winced and went back to a neutral expression. "First thing, Ow. Second thing, don't stop. I like that."
"Yeah, I can tell. You looked like a kitten, Cas. You were so adorable." Dean cooed.
Cas glared at Dean, "I can't help it."
"Anyways, so tell me about all these better and worse at the same time kinds of events." Dean returned his hands to Cas's hair.
"Kissing you's the first thing that springs to mind. "It's like nothing I've experienced before. It's like having a really great first kiss over and over again, complete with the thrill and anxiousness leading up to it, the tingling that spreads all over your face and body. It's so exhilarating, but so torturous. It's even worse with you since you're already great and kissing and I know this, so it's like double the excitement." Cas explained.
"You get excited to kiss me?" Dean teased, he leaned down and kissed Cas from above.
"Don't you dare get me started." Cas growled.
"Sheesh. Touchy." Dean laughed.
"You'd be touchy if it was you." Cas scowled.
"So elaborate on the whole 'can't keep your hands off me' thing." Dean said.
"There's not much to that. It's more of a physical affection and love thing, not so much as sexual love. I just want to be touched. I want the soft, gentle, caring feel. I want to be stroked and caressed and that sort of thing." Cas explained.
"That's reasonable, especially for you." Dean mused.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cas asked.
"You like all that mushy gushy touchy feely stuff on a normal day." Dean chuckled.
Cas remained silent, not able to argue with that.
"Anything else?" Dean prodded.
"There's probably more things that I'll realize in time, don't forget. Also, there's just when I'm around you." Cas continued. "You have this air about you when you're around me. You let your guard down and I can tell. And the little things you do are constantly taunting me."
"Like." Dean smiled.
"Like when you do that devil-may-care attitude shit. Or that way you smell right after you get out of the shower." Cas answered.
Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas. "Random, but okay. And you've been awake for half an hour, how do you even know these things are 'taunting' you?"
"Well, I already like them, so I figured it everything's stronger, than my attraction to them will be stronger, too." Cas assumed. "Other things I really like are the way you take way too long getting undressed because you keep getting distracted by other things, or you can't just watch one TV channel and you constantly flip back and forth, or just everything about your eyes. They're so mesmerizing."
"You're such a Disney princess sometimes, Cas." Dean laughed.
"I'm under the influence. You can't pull that card." Cas snapped.
"Influence of what exactly?" Dean asked.
"You I suppose." Cas replied.
"Now that that's all sorted out, can I go to bed. I'm tired. I was on my fifth cup of coffee when you woke up." Dean groaned.
"Go ahead, Dean." Cas smiled, sitting up off Dean's lap. He kicked his shoes off and pulled his sock off. He stripped down to his underwear and climbed under the covers. "If you dare wake me, I will hurt you, Castiel."
"Don't plan on it, Dean." Cas crawled into bed next to Dean.
"Dude. You just slept for a whole day, and you're going back to be?" Dean scoffed.
"No. I just want to be next to you, Dean. Is there a problem with that?" Cas asked.
"Whatever. Just don't wake me up, you asshat, Dean laughed.
Cas leaned up and kissed Dean, but had trouble resisting the urge to leave it at just a quick kiss. Dean laughed at Cas's obvious struggle.
"Cas, knock it off. You look like you're constipated." Dean snorted. "Just keep kissing me if you'd like. I'm not complaining here. Also, you can go back to that 'self control' bullshit that worked so well the first four times we saw each other. Even then no force in the world could keep your hands off me."
"I think I'll take you up on your offer." Cas smiled, leaning up and continuing to kiss Dean slowly. "And you're right Dean. When it comes to you, self control is useless."
"I know." Dean smirked.
After a few minutes of kissing him, Cas pulled away and nuzzled into Dean's chest, quickly warming him in the cold room with a defective heater. Dean draped his arm over Cas and softly rubbed his back, leaning down and kissing Cas's hair before quickly falling asleep.
A/N: Actually wrote two chapters in one day. Wow. Still on two hours sleep. I'm on a roll here. lol. It's 2 AM. That 2 liters of Mountain Dew is really coming through and keeping me up all night. *brofists Mountain Dew bottle* Yeah, this got a little more lengthy than planned, so I just decided to throw in some fluff and dialogue and that fun stuff so it became a chapter on it's own. I spent waaaay too long on that first paragraph Cas says about Dean being the key that fit and stuff. That was much much deeper than I planned it to be, too. My English teacher would be proud.