Doofenshmirtz was now on the sofa with an icepack on his head. Perry was pacing the floor as the baby slept peacefully.
"What are we going to do Perry the Platypus? I mean how'd this even happen?!" he winced from the pain on his head. Perry put his finger on his lips and pointed at the sleeping girl "Oh right…sorry. But still we've got to figure out how this all happened…" he pinched the bridge of his nose thinking hard. After a few minutes he gave up and now had even more of a headache. Perry rolled his eyes 'for god's sake…' he picked up an empty bottle and the ray gun. Doofenshmirtz lifted his heavy head "ok…we poured drink on the gun…?" Perry made a drinking motion "no no drank it and…" he then swayed around faltering " we got dizzy…no drunk! Drunk…ok we drank, got drunk…" He pointed the gun at him and then at himself "then we shot ourselves with the…mix-them-up inator…uh oh" Doofenshmirtz lifted himself up "so it's a platypus human hybrid…and it's a girl. Oh geez…"
He put his head between his legs "what are we going to do Perry the platypus?" Perry sat next to him and handed him a scrap of paper 'yOU haVe to lo0k afTeR it' "Y'know Perry the platypus you really have to work on your handwriting…" he looked at the baby. It turned in its sleep smiling, no doubt about it she was cute. "Know any good orphanages?" Perry hit him across the mouth
"woah woah ok we'll have to look after her." Doofenshmirtz stood up "i-I've been a father before I can do this…" he then thought of Vanessa and how she had grown up. He dropped his head down depressed "I can't do this…"
Perry kicked him in the leg "yeeeow! That hurt! Look, what the heck am I supposed to do Perry the platypus you've seen Vanessa…I'm not a good father" an idea hit him "you've got to help me raise her"
Perry folded his arms 'no way! I'm not looking after…that'
"oh come on Perry the platypus she's as much yours as she is mine! She even has your tail"
Perry looked at her as she slept, the teal green hair was his and the tail was definitely his. This was his child too, he couldn't just leave her. He sighed looking at Doofenshmirtz and nodded. "Thank you Perry" he picked him up squeezing him tight "this means a lot to me" Perry choked in his grip but smiled. Doofenshmirtz started to snicker "y'know this makes you the mother Perry the platypus" His eyes widened, he kicked him in the torso and landed on his feet. Doofenshmirtz was still laughing hysterically when the baby began to stir. "wumpa…" Perry jumped onto his face closing his lips tight. She sat up after a few murmurs. Perry looked into Doofenshmirtz's eyes he had never noticed how blue they were before. "Perry the platypus…" Doofenshmirtz mumbled "I can't breathe…" Perry slid off him and sat on the sofa his cheeks feeling warm. The girl looked at them with her head at one side. Perry did the same '…they don't do much do they?' Doofenshmirtz yawned "I'm going to get some coffee…and maybe some aspirin" he slipped on one of the bottles and crashed to the floor with an 'oompth'. She began to giggle at the hurt 15 dollar doctor in front of her "oh…what are you looking at beaky?" he said embarrassed. Perry's face lit up as he scrawled down a name on a piece of paper. He handed it to Doofenshmirtz as he still lay on the floor. He sat up holding the note in his hand "…Becky? Is this a name suggestion?" Perry nodded smiling. He looked at the girl who was now playing with her tail "she does look like a 'Becky' he smiled "ok why not? She should have a name anywho…she's one of us now." Perry held his hand smiling 'yeah…'
Perry was back home with Phineas and Feb in his usual place under the tree in the backyard. His watch buzzed abruptly "Agent P" Perry saluted the hologram "Its Doofenshmirtz again. He has been buying diapers, baby food and pacifiers at an alarming rate. There have also been reports of a deafening scream being heard from his apartment. Many neighbours are being annoyed agent p. you better go find out what he's up to and put a stop to it." The hologram descended. Perry knew exactly what it was.
The evil jingle almost couldn't be heard from the screaming as he entered the room. Becky was in the middle of the room screaming and Doofenshmirtz was banging his head against the wall. He looked up to see Perry at the door, he looked pretty bad; his hair was standing on end, the shadows under his eyes were darker than usual and his eyes were all blood shot. Doofenshmirtz ran to the door hiding behind Perry "thank god you're here Perry the platypus! It's Becky! She just won't stop crying I've tried everything! I've tried food, dummies, diapers, even pulling funny faces! None of its working!" he was hugging his knees rocking back and forth. Perry sighed and went into the bathroom. After a few minutes he appeared with a small baby bottle of white liquid and offered it to Becky. She sniffled a few times wiping away some tears. She reached out for the bottle "ah ah meh muh!". Perry smiled holding her head and feeding her, she closed her eyes suckling on the bottle intently. Doofenshmirtz got up and knelt down next to them "how did you know Perry the platypus?" Perry looked up at him smug 'I just know these things'. He gave the baby to Doofenshmirtz 'here you hold her' he held Becky awkwardly like he had been given a stack of paperwork for Christmas. Perry face-palmed. He folded Doofenshmirtz's arms so they cradled her and her head was supported.
Doofenshmirtz smiled "she's so…tiny" Perry left the room to get her some food leaving him and Becky alone together.
Doofenshmirtz laughed nervously "well…um hi there" he started trying to start a conversation. He got no reply.
"um…anywho my name's Heinz and I'm your father…oh god I'm your father…" Becky was now looking at him with sleepy brown eyes as the doctor gritted his teeth. Perry was still in the kitchen looking for suitable baby food.
'Eel and newt? Spice and sprout? …I can't even pronounce what that one is…'
He closed the fridge door 'he better be crazy if he's thinking of feeding Becky with this stuff' he began to walk into the room but stopped to hear Doofenshmirtz talking. "Y'know I'd never thought I would ever have kids…again. First was with was my ex-wife Charlene and Vanessa…but I don't think that turned out very well. One of my many failures…" he sighed out depressed. Becky pitied him and put a hand on his nose.
He smiled "but you're going to be different Becky, I'm going keep you away from having a childhood like mine or Vanessa's. I know it." He paused, feeling the heat in his cheeks "you're also very lucky to have a mother like Perry. I had never thought in a trillion years that he and I would have something…together. …he's always going to be there for you no matter what. I just hope he will always be there for me…whenever I need him."
Perry gulped in a few tears as he leant against the kitchen door 'don't worry Heinz…I won't let you down'
He opened the door to the pair in the room and Doofenshmirtz swallowed down the blush in his face. "P-Perry the platypus? O-o-oh I was just feeding Becky…" he saw the anger on Perry's face "what?" he held up the pot of 'Gimmle-schtoomp eel and newt baby food' "oh that…well it was the same food my mother fed me when I was growing up" he looked at Perry "…you're right we need to go shopping. I'll go grab my coupons…"