A/N: Hello :) This is my first ever fic in Teen Wolf fandom. I haven't even finished watching the series, so I might have failed quite badly writing them. This features female!Stiles and alternates from Scott's and Stiles' PoV. This fic is also un-beta-ed and crossposted on AO3 under the same title and same username.
Thank you very much and I hope you enjoy! :)
As far as everyone in Beacon Hills could be bothered to remember, Stiles—whose real name no one could really pronounce—always dressed up as a boy. She had her hair chopped short like a boy and wore oversized clothing that hid her figure. She walked like how a boy would walk. She slouched when she was standing. She was never seen hanging out with any other girls. If her face was not softly angled, her eyes were not wide like a doe with long eyelashes and her voice was not high and feminine, everyone who first met Stiles would always mistake her as a boy. But then, when someone did mistake her for one, she would always correct them. She would chuckle and then lazily said, "actually I am a girl"
Stiles was the daughter of the Beacon Hills' county though and so, although many people were curious of what made the verily-adored daughter of the sheriff dressed and acted like a boy, no one had ever really talked about it nor dared to ask. The sheriff always spoke of Stiles like any parent would talk about their children.
Stiles was an enigma that could not be solved. She was the girl who dressed up as a boy but never wanted to be mistaken as one. She was the girl who was loud but quiet. She smiled the widest but she looked sad the most. She was the most easy going person someone could ever meet but she only always hang out with Scott, her best friend. She was a true living contradictions and no one understood her completely.
Scott was probably the closest to ever understand her but even then, he still had many missing puzzles over what made Stiles... Stiles.
-0-0-0-
Scott could not remember any point in his life which had no Stiles. His mom told him that both of them met on the first day of kindergarten and they were always together ever since. They played together, had lunch together, and studied together. They were rarely seen without each other that people would always say their name together, either 'Scott and Stiles' or 'Stiles and Scott'. That Scott was a boy and Stiles was a girl was never a problem. Stiles was his best friend and he knew that Stiles considered him the same. Even years year of teasing how they loved each other very much never bothered them since they did love each other but not and would never be in any romantic way.
Most people in Beacon Hills knew Stiles as the girl who always dressed up as a boy. Scott, courtesy of knowing the girl in question for almost his entire life, knew that Stiles didn't always dress up like a boy. Scott could pinpoint the exact time when Stiles started. It was the year Stiles' mom died of cancer.
It was such an awful year for Stiles and by extension, for Scott as well. Scott remembered when his mom told him the condition of Stiles' mom. The cancer was spreading too fast for any medications to keep up. He could not sleep that night, too worried and scared, thinking about Stiles' mom whom he had known for as long as he knew Stiles. He could only imagine how hard it was for Stiles.
A month after her mom was sick and began her chemotherapy treatment, Stiles shaved her head bald using her father's shaver. Scott was very much in shock when he saw her the next day. It was still as clear as if it happened just yesterday. Stiles just casually strode the hall way, not even bothered at people who openly staring at her hairless head. Scott was also one who stared in disbelief. When he asked why, Stiles didn't even blink.
"I just feel like it." And that was it from her although Scott knew better. Stiles might be impulsive, but she always had a reason behinds her every actions. The reason was clear enough when he came to visit Stiles and her mom at the hospital.
After her mum died, she started to wear boy's clothing ("It is more comfortable and suits me better, anyway."), and then the rest was... history. Stiles' hair never grew back to its original length and she never let it grow any longer than her ears.
So when one day, Scott realised that his best friend's hair was getting longer and she didn't cut it short, Scott knew that something had changed. After all, Stiles never did something without a reason anyway.
-0-0-0-
What most people didn't know (or bother to know) was that there was always a reason behind her actions. Her father knew that. Scott knew that. But most people? They usually thought that she was just an impulsive, leap-without-looking girl. Her thoughts went a lot faster than most people. Her tendency to ramble and her constant movements didn't help how people saw her. It never bothered her though, because Stiles had never really bothered to explain why she did what she did anyway and she would not start doing so.
When she began her fifth grade, she found out that her mom had cancer. After that, Stiles began her three days research on cancer, pulling out articles and informations she could find from the internet. When her mom began her chemotherapy treatment, Stiles already knew what kind of effect it would give, so she grabbed her dad's shaver and shave her hair off. Her mom would lose her hair, so why should she keep hers? Stiles got her mom's hair, lots of people said, and it just felt wrong that she got to keep hers.
Stiles' dad was shocked and angry for the first few minutes before he turned devastated. Her mom was surprised but then gave her one of the saddest smile, giving her a kiss on her forehead, whispering loves.
The treatment continued, but her mom was not getting better. Soon her mom lost her long beautiful chestnut hair and got thinner and thinner. She got tired easily and started to sleep more. Stiles never read about it, but she knew then that she was going to lose her mother soon.
-0-0-0-
"Your hair's getting longer," commented Scott as he dropped to sit next to her during lunch. Stiles only nodded, stuffing more of her spaghetti meatballs into her mouth. Scott's brows furrowed and he leaned forward, totally confused.
"You are not going to cut it off?"
"I am going to grow it long."
"Really?!"
"Yeah—oh hey you got spaghetti and meatballs as well. Can I have one of those?" Scott only nodded slowly which earned a wide grin from Stiles who seemed oblivious to Scott's confusion. He shook his head slowly and began to eat his lunch as well.
"Why the decision?" asked Scott between a mouthful.
"I promised my mom," answered Stiles which was still a very vague reply but Scott knew that he would not get anymore answer when his friend being tight-lipped. But Stiles would tell him when she was ready. She always did.
"That's good. I am happy for you."
Stiles smiled and took a big gulp from her water.
"Me too."
-0-0-0-
And so she did. It was 6 years after her mom's death, after she shaved her head and decided to keep her hair short. No one knew about what she promised to her mom just a couple of days before she died. Not her dad. Not Scott. It was a promise her mom made her to make.
"I wish for you to let your hair grow, Stiles."
"I will when you grow yours. No other options." Not even after you die.
"You love your hair..."
"I love yours too. I love yours even better than mine, Mom." Stiles had said. Her mom smiled weakly and reached for her hand.
"You get your hair from me while you got your father's eyes..." Her mom tightened her grip, and then she looked thoughtful. Stiles didn't say a word. After a few moments, her mom spoke again.
"I am sick so I can't be a good mother for you-" Stiles shook her head hard. "-this cancer ordeal makes you sad. And I don't want you to be sad, Stiles. I don't. I want you to be happy and be in love. That is why, when you are happy and in love, I want you to let your hair grow. Promise me, okay?"
Stiles had pursed her lips then but nodded in an okay, didn't understand why her mom asked her to do so when she was happy and in love. Her mom was always the observant one though and she had read further into what Stiles didn't say out loud.
Her death devastated her and also her father. He was not the same man after mom died. Stiles was not the same girl after she died. She kept her hair short like boys and Stiles didn't think much about her promise to her mom. It was always there, but never constantly on her mind. She never missed her hair since it represented happier times.
Stiles didn't count on finding out that her best friend was turned into a werewolf though. She didn't count on having her supposedly normal high school life merged into supernatural one which she didn't even know was real. She definitely didn't count on encountering Derek Hale.
One night after a few months since her first meeting with Derek, Stiles thought about the promise he made to her mom. The next day, she decided to let her hair grow.
-0-0-0-0-
Her hair was getting longer and longer and then soon enough Stiles could tie her hair up in short ponytail. It was still a bit bizarre looking at Stiles having long hair after years got used to her short boyish one. She changed what she wore as well. Her longer hair was the obvious change, but there were also subtle ones. Scott noticed how Stiles smiled more and spent time hanging out with more people outside their circle of two such as Lydia, Isaac and even Derek. She kept tagging along with Scott whenever he had werewolf and other supernatural businesses. She still had tendency to babble and moved around... but all in all Stiles just looked a lot happier.
Scott didn't quite know what bring these subtle changes to Stiles but then he started to notice subtle changes in her scents as well. It was very faint usually but then it grew stronger, which always coincided with the time Derek was around. Then Scott finally realised what was going on.
Stiles was in love with Derek.
Scott didn't quite know how he felt about it. He had his own opinions on Derek but he knew that no amount of convincing might change Stiles' mind. Took himself for example, since he was still not over Allison despite everything. So, Scott just kept observing and made a mental note to kill Derek if he hurt Stiles.
-0-0-0-
Almost at the end of their senior year, Stiles and Derek were finally together. Scott could not be happier. Many people inside their close circle of friends must be having similar thoughts. The past few months had been quite crazy with how both Stiles and Derek kept circling around, not admitting how they felt even when they should have said something about it.
Stiles and Derek were having a bit of arguments when Scott entered the living room of the old Hale House which was repaired half a year ago. Actually it was more of Stiles stating out arguments after arguments while Derek just grunted here and there. Despite the heat in their conversation though, Stiles' eyes were twinkling in amusement. Her hair was back to its previous length. She never looked happier.
Scott could see how Derek's features softened when Stiles was around and that brought a small smile. He ignored the questioning look from Isaac and just sat down on one of the armchairs, sipping orange juice. They had been through a lot and his best friend had finally got the happiness she deserved.
END.
A/N: Thanks for reading :D