[ Part Five ]

A/N: It's Major Crimes Monday! I'm so excited. Here's a little something to pass the time until the season premiere. Thank you for your lovely reviews and please do keep them coming. I am always very interested in what you guys think and I am always open to suggestions. That said, I hope you enjoy. :)

Andy hurried through the rain, barely able to avoid the puddles that had formed on the pavement, and then dove into the waiting car, pulling the door shut behind him. For a brief moment he closed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest, listening to the comfortingly regular patter of raindrops against the car roof. Then he turned his head and looked at Sharon who was behind the wheel, looking back at him with an expectant look in her eyes.

"How did it go?"

It was an easy question, one he had expected and tried to prepare for but he was still at a loss, so he just shrugged. Sharon seemed to sense his inner turmoil and started the car again to drive back to Los Angeles. Andy watched the wipers slide across the windshield to combat the masses of water that were falling from the skies. He would have preferred better weather for his daughter's birthday party so they could celebrate outside, but at least his ex-wife Linda's new house had a big living-room where the festivities had been held instead. Entering that house, he had felt like an intruder to a family of strangers even though some of the furniture was familiar and his heart jumped at the sight of his children. Linda had remained wary, which was to be expected, and he was glad that Sharon had worked her magic on him with a greasy breakfast and more of her coffee that he was sure would have been capable of rousing a dead person from the grave. Linda's new boyfriend, John, seemed like a nice guy and he had greeted Andy with a firm and amiable handshake. However, Andy had spotted a glint of something different in his eyes.

Anna's hair had grown out a bit since he had last seen her and when she'd looked up from where she was putting the finishing touches to the table that was practically bending under the weight of cake and hot chocolate, a smile had lit up her face. Her exclamation of the word "Daddy" and the way she had thrown herself into his arms had seemed to solve the knot inside his chest and he had held on to her small body for a bit longer than he had actually meant to. It were the little things, however, that tainted his mood and caused his momentary elation to subside over the course of the party. Anna hugged John enthusiastically as she received her present and it was him she asked to help tie a bunch of balloons to the back of a chair. Each and every one of those things hurt Andy because they seemed to drive home the fact that he was still her father, but a distant one, someone who did not partake in her daily life. She adored him, excited by his visit, and so did his son, but he could feel them slipping away from him slowly, could see that his seldom visits had caused them to lose the easy way of interacting with each other that came from great familiarity.

Although not everything was lost and he was more determined than ever to regain at least some of the closeness he'd shared with them before, he had just realized what his alcoholism had cost him and what it could have cost him if he had continued. Paradoxically, it caused in him the overwhelming urge to have a drink, followed by another until he was safe in blissful oblivion.

He was surprised when he felt Sharon's hand on his, warm and soft fingers wrapping themselves around his.

"Don't," she said without taking her gaze off the road where the taillights of the other cars were dancing around the gray onslaught of water like blurred little red spots of light. "Don't even consider going to a bar to get drunk."

He just stared at her profile. The shadows of the moving windshield wipers were flitting over her pale skin in quick succession and her eyes were a muddy shade of green in the dull lights of the early evening. Even to the backdrop of this cheerless day, she looked beautiful. Not only had she given up her Saturday for him and had agreed to make the long drive back and forth, she also knew instinctively what he was going through. Andy was used to the insufferableness of unrequited physical attraction but he was yet a stranger to the feeling of having connected with a woman on a deeply emotional level. It gave him the urge to not only kiss and touch her, but also to learn about her, to explore the farthest corners of her mind.

Her hand was still wrapped around his and he turned his so his palm faced upwards. The sensation of her palm against his made him feel as if a jolt of electricity was surging through his bones. He wrapped his fingers around hers and his fingertips brushed her knuckles in a caress.

"Traffic's okay. We should be home at about half past ten," Sharon said. "How do you feel about renting a movie and having some dinner at my place?"

He was too exhausted to be charming or funny so he just agreed without one of his usual quips about this sounding like a date and they drove on in silence until just listening to the swooshing of the tires on the wet asphalt became unbearable to him.

"My kids seem to get on well without me," he finally confessed. "I'm not sure whether they miss me as much as I do them."

He looked down where he could draw comfort from the sight of their joined hands.

"I'm sure they do," Sharon said and it sounded like a typical, automated response only until she continued. "Tommy misses Jack a lot. It helps him to speak to him on the phone."

She let go of his hand to be able to hold the wheel steady with both hands through a particularly nasty onslaught of rain and he began to miss their physical contact immediately.

"Does it help you, too?" Andy asked.

Sharon smiled sadly without taking her eyes off the road. "I hardly ever talk to him. I just make the arrangements with the staff and hand the phone over to Tommy."

"Because it's too painful?" Andy asked, aware of the fact that this was one reason why he didn't call his children very often. Hearing their voices while not being able to see and hug them made him feel even worse.

"I don't know what to say to him," Sharon admitted quietly after a prolonged pause. Andy got it. Silences were the worst because they seemed like a palpable sign of the loss of intimacy between two people. "Whenever I actually talk to him, I tell him about Tommy and about the baby and that's it."

Once again Andy wondered what exactly had driven them apart. She had hinted upon other things than just her husband's addiction and he was sure that there had been one event in particular that had led her to leave him. She had told him before that her pregnancy had not been an accident and he figured that if she had been pondering the idea of leaving her husband for a long time, she would have been more careful if she had had sex with him at all.

"Did you kick him out before or after you learned about the pregnancy?"

"After." Her fingers drummed on the wheel. "This rain is terrible. I can hardly see where I'm going."

He was a little surprised by the sudden change of topic but if she didn't want to talk about it, he wouldn't pressure her.

"What kind of movie would you like to watch later?" he asked instead, back on safe territory, he hoped.

"Not a horror movie, that's for sure," Sharon answered and he wholeheartedly agreed. The memories of the autopsy were still fresh in their minds and they didn't need any more images to fuel their nightmares.

Sharon pulled her cardigan around her upper body and shivered as she carefully descended the stairs. "I didn't sign up for this when I moved to the west coast," she complained and reached for the blanket she kept on the couch. Andy, who had been staring out into the dripping garden, turned his head to look at her in her comfortable clothes, one hand rubbing her belly. He popped the video tape into the player and settled back down next to her where her hand landed on his thigh without either of them acknowledging it. At first it felt just as comforting as it was probably meant to be, but then Andy began to realize how close her fingers were to his groin. He looked at her from the corner of his eye while hers were glued to the screen, awake and interested behind her glasses. He'd been attracted to her for a while now, had probably always been, but he could only work up the strength to admit it to himself now.

He found it a little strange to think that he'd never seen her not pregnant and in terms of physical desirability it made no difference to him. He found it intriguing to see the ambiguity of her: her unwavering self-confidence and hands-on mentality on the one hand, and her careful movements and gentle caresses of her stomach on the other. She was an enigma and he felt drawn to her with such inevitableness that he felt completely helpless in the face of it all. He felt himself longing to reach over and pull her flush against his body. To kiss her and explore her every inch of her by touch. Feel the firm muscles of her arms and legs, the softness of her breasts and the curve of her belly. He wondered whether she was attracted to him, too, but he couldn't tell at all. She did care about him a great deal, Andy knew that, but he had yet to catch a glimmer of physical desire in her eyes.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by her laugh and immediately smiled at her when he saw the tears of amusement in her eyes.

"I can't believe I've never seen this movie!" Sharon gasped.

"I can't believe it either."

"It's so funny. I thought it was mainly blasphemous, but it is really funny!"

"Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?" Andy asked in a fake British accent, making Sharon laugh even harder, convincing him that despite her initial skepticism, Life of Brian had been the right choice to watch tonight.

"Careful, woman, you'll put yourself in labor," he told her, still unable to break her giggling fit. He'd never seen her laugh like that and it was contagious. Only half an hour into the movie they lost it and had to freeze the tape in order to calm down so they could hear what was being said. Sharon wiped a tear from her eye and attempted to get to her feet but her body was shaken by another jolt of uncontrollable laughter so she collapsed back on to the couch and hid her face in Andy's shoulder. It took them a moment to actually stop laughing and the big smile that was still gracing her features gave her face a completely different look that he was fascinated by.

"This feels good," she stated, her voice still quivering lightly.

"Having a good laugh? Yeah. I think so, too." He slipped his arm around her shoulder and was about to thank her again for saving him today, but she began to talk before he could.

"No. I mean this. Cuddling on the couch with you," she said softly. "It feels good to be close to someone. To be able to let go once in a while."

She lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled up at him, her expression guarded again, the laughter forgotten. He held her gaze although he found it a little too intense for comfort and he was worried that he would give himself away in response to it.

"I like this, too," he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. Andy moved his head, just a tiny bit, just to see whether the look in her eyes would change or whether she'd withdraw but she didn't. Sharon wet her lips and Andy felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest. His hand came up as if on its own accord and he cupped her cheek, running his thumb across the soft skin.

"I'm glad I have you," he said.

"Me too."

Andy often kissed women in bars. Just for the thrill of it, for the sense of accomplishment when they gave in, let themselves be wooed by his advances and allowed his tongue to enter their mouths. Most of the time, he wasn't even particularly interested in them. Sometimes he took them home, mostly he didn't because he was too drunk to do anything with them, anyway. It was different with Sharon. He was hesitating. Their friendship was a safe haven for both of them and a kiss might ruin everything. And yet he longed to press his lips to hers and his fingertips were tingling in expectation. Did she want this as much as he did? Her eyes didn't give her away, her look was tender but everything else was hidden safely behind the veil that always seemed to be obscuring her eyes, hiding her true feelings. He couldn't take a chance. Not with her. If she kissed him, it was more than fine with him but he wouldn't risk losing her because of one of his stupid spur of the moment decisions. Sharon leaned in and he could feel her warm breath on his lips briefly, then she pressed hers to his for the shortest of moments before she pulled back. It was a sweet, innocent kiss that reminded him of that day back in Junior High when one of the pretty girls that always stood giggling in groups had marched up to him and had pressed a kiss to his lips to his before she'd turned on her heel to run back to her girlfriends. He had pretended to find it gross and had wiped his mouth with his sleeve just to make a point, but his insides had been fluttering with joy and excitement just like they were now.

"I'll go and get us some chocolate now," she said and he nodded numbly, still reeling from the kiss and the many questions it raised. Was this the promise of something more? Or was it a sign of friendship and support? A warning even, that this was all he would ever get from her?

Sharon returned with an assortment of candy bars and put them down on the coffee table in front of Andy. He watched her help herself to one of them and devour it with obvious pleasure. It made him think back to the afternoon he had spent at her house, helping her get settled, and all the observations he had made that day. It had happened less than two months ago and yet they were so much closer now. He decided to try and make conversation as if nothing had happened, steering his thoughts away from the turmoil inside him. He would later examine the evidence and wonder what it meant. For now he was determined to enjoy her company.

"So you're still craving chocolate?" he asked her when she had almost finished the bar. She looked up and smiled.

"Unfortunately, yes. All that sugar will keep her up all night, but I can't help it."

Andy's eyes flitted towards the clock on her desk and he was shocked to find that it was already past midnight.

"Are you tired, Sharon?" he asked her urgently. "You're not staying up just because of me, are you?"

She finally allowed herself the yawn he hadn't previously noticed she was stifling. "That's what friends are for, Andy." She stretched like a cat and snuggled back into his shoulder.

"You can stay if you want. You must be exhausted, too, after the day you've had on so little sleep."

"How about we finish the movie tomorrow morning?" he asked her, feeling her weight grow heavier on his shoulder as she relaxed into sleepiness.

"Right after church," she murmured, an amused smile playing at her lips.

"Do you go to church every Sunday?" Somehow he hadn't expected her to be that religious.

"Mostly out of habit, yes." She lifted her head and rubbed her eyes. "You're right. I'm far too tired to finish the movie tonight. Are you coming?"

Andy, who had been fully convinced that he would spend another night on her couch, looked at her with surprise which made her grin. She didn't say anything, though, so he followed her upstairs in silence. This time he stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers, purposefully turning away while she changed into her pajamas. The bed was barely wide enough to provide enough space for both of them, but he found a way to lie on his side without taking up too much of the mattress. They wished each other a good night and she switched off the light, turning on to her side with her back turned at him.

There was a moment of silence and he felt exhaustion settling over him like a heavy blanket while his mind was turning foggy with impending sleep. Her low voice startled him out of his haze and at first he believed it to be part of a dream.

"Would you mind holding me again?"

Andy forbade himself to think about it and tried to fight down any emotional or physical reaction that might present itself at her request. Instead he closed what little distance remained between them and wrapped his arms around her, nestling his cheek into her neck.

"Better?" he rasped into her ear, trying to find a non-compromising spot to rest his hands.

"Hmm, much. Goodnight, Andy."

"Goodnight, Sharon."