[ Part Six ]

A/N: A big thank you to MunchkinLovesYou and her friends for their input. I wasn't able to use all of it in this chapter, but we'll see. :-)

Andy hurried up the short driveway with long strides, eager to leave the chilly Saturday afternoon behind him and reach the refuge that Sharon's home still was to him. Relieved to finally have arrived at his destination, he rang the doorbell and waited. Just a few seconds later, Tommy's face appeared in the small crack in the front door once again and he squinted up at Andy with an unmistakable look of relief lighting up his eyes.

"Hello, Andy!" he said and pulled the door wide open, having to use all his strength to do so as his small body was no match for the heavy front door. Andy looked down at the child and smiled when he discovered a bright blue toy car in his hand. His eyes restless, he seemed oddly distraught and the fact that Sharon had allowed him to open the door by himself was unusual, too - even though she was expecting Andy.

"Where is your Mommy?" he asked with deliberate cheer and Tommy just pointed at the doorway to the living-room before he dropped down on to the wooden floor to move his car along the knotholes with great concentration. Andy passed him and found Sharon on the couch, a blanket spread over her. She looked drowsy and tired, one arm draped over her stomach and the back of her other hand resting against her forehead. She smiled weakly when he entered and stretched out her hand to squeeze his.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey yourself. Are you okay?" Andy lifted her legs and sat down on the couch, pulling her feet into his lap. She adjusted herself to give him more space but didn't pull back; instead she tilted her head back and hummed with pleasure when he began to massage her calves and ankles both of which were slightly swollen.

"I am exhausted," she admitted. "Tommy needed new clothes so I spent all morning shopping with him in town. He was cranky, so I had to basically drag him around and now my whole body aches." Her next hum turned into a delighted moan when he worked his way up her legs, methodically rubbing her aching muscles to get them to relax. For a moment, neither of them spoke and the only sound that could be heard was Tommy's voice, imitating engine noises as he ran his little car across the room and towards the couch. Andy modestly stopped his ministrations at her knees and returned to her feet, making Sharon purr like a cat.

"That's amazing, Andy," she murmured, eyes closed and biting her lip with visible delight. "You can't imagine how good it feels."

He silently continued massaging her feet while she sat up and turned towards Tommy who had abandoned his toy and was looking up at her with a critical expression. Andy realized now that what he had seen in the little boy's eyes upon his arrival was concern for his mother.

"Mommy, are you sick?" he inquired in a small voice.

"No, honey, I'm fine," she assured him, gently running her fingers through his hair. "Just a little tired from all the shopping we did today."

The boy's eyes lit up as he seemed to remember that they had a guest who had not yet seen his new set of clothes and so he proudly puffed his chest out for Andy's inspection.

"Andy, look at my t-shirt! It's got Mickey and Donald on it!" Tommy pulled at the garment and bounced up and down happily.

"That's a pretty cool shirt, indeed," Andy replied, endeared by his innocent enthusiasm.

"I'll buy you one, too, if you promise me to wear it to work," Sharon quipped, smiling at her son's excitement and caressing his shoulder lightly.

"I'll think about it," Andy grinned back, stroking the soles of her feet which made her giggle slightly. Gently pulling her feet back, Sharon sat up fully to look at the clock on her desk.

"My, it's nearly six already."

"Mommy said we're having fish fingers and mashed potatoes for dinner!" Tommy offered. "Do you want some, too, Andy?" He felt awash with sudden and unexpected happiness when he realized that somehow he had wound his way into the small boy's heart. He was no longer a stranger or just a visitor, but someone Tommy felt comfortable including into his daily routine with his mother. He had actually been about to offer his services to cook them a real meal, but faced with the child's excitement, he decided to settle for whatever he was offered. He shrugged and looked at Sharon who gave him an encouraging smile.

"How about we take care of dinner?" he asked Tommy. "I'll show you how to make fish fingers."

Tommy's eyes widened at the prospect. "Really?"

"Absolutely," Andy replied, causing Sharon to give a light chuckle. Tommy ran ahead towards the kitchen where the banging of cabinet doors could be heard a second later. Sharon cringed but her smile didn't falter.

"That is very sweet of you, Andy. He adores you, you know."

Funny, Andy thought. In this case he was the new father figure the child was taking to while the same thing was happening with his own children in San Diego. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why did it throw so many obstacles in his way just to give him a gift like Sharon's and Tommy's friendship all of a sudden?

"Just relax for a bit, Sharon. We'll call you as soon as dinner is ready." He reached out and pulled her a little closer to be able to press his lips against her forehead. The gesture came to him so naturally that he didn't even think about it before he leaned in. Instead of pulling back she looked up at him and smiled, wrapping her fingers around his free hand.

"Can you stay here again tonight?" she asked quietly and although she was clearly trying to hide it, he could see a longing expression in her eyes. The way she had made it caused him just as much happiness as the request itself and so he didn't get up right away but lingered for a moment, looking into her eyes. She blinked and looked away, alerting him to the fact that his gaze might have been a little too intense, but somehow he was unable to take his eyes off her. His free hand was still resting against the back of her neck while the other was now tightly clasped around hers and all it would have taken was leaning into her very slightly to initiate a kiss. She was quiet but looked up at him and the longing in her eyes returned, even more fiercely. With a start he knew that she wanted him to kiss her with the sort of absolute certainty that one could not explain. She wasn't making a move to draw him closer, but he could see the slight flush in her cheeks while her chest was rising and falling a little more quickly than before. Her pulse was hammering in her wrist under his thumb - or was it his own? - and he stroked the delicate skin there lightly as if to assure her that she had nothing to be afraid of. He leaned in slightly, waiting for her to pull away but she didn't. Their faces only inches from each other, he watched her close her eyes and part her lips. He ran his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion and leaned in to brush his lips against hers very lightly, to give her a chance to withdraw if she decided that she didn't want this after all. He felt her hand come up and firmly grab the back of his neck, her fingers slipping up to caress the skin just below his hairline.

He wasn't sure whether the loud crashing sound from the kitchen was a blessing or a curse but she let go of him, startled.

"Mommy!" came a frantic voice from the kitchen, quivering to signal impending tears, followed by an even more urgent "Mommy!". She slipped from his half-embrace on the couch without looking at Andy and hurried into the kitchen to find Tommy standing in front of a broken dish, looking sheepish. Already, tears were rolling down his cheeks, his eyes large and horrified. Andy was too shaken to find any amusement in the fact that children seemed to think that breaking something was as bad as it ever got. Maybe it was the fact that something whole and useful was suddenly reduced to scattered pieces that made them realize that nothing was indestructible, he mused, but then silently admonished himself. The kid was probably just shocked by the loud noise, not pondering his own mortality.

"Oh, honey," Sharon sighed. "Don't touch the pieces. I don't want you to hurt yourself." She ruffled his hair and pulled him into her side to comfort him. "You have to be more careful next time, okay? But it's just a plate."

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Tommy said in a small voice and Andy couldn't help but find his guilt somewhat appropriate. Why did he have to shatter a plate at this precise moment? Had he done it on purpose? But no, there was no way he could have seen what was about to happen. He bent down and carefully picked up most of the pieces, then gestured for Sharon to step back.

"I'll take care of it," he told her. "this would just wreck more havoc on your poor back."

"Thanks, Andy." Sharon's smile was genuine and affectionate but he couldn't tell how exactly she was feeling about their near-kiss. Only later after dinner, when she'd read Tommy a story and had tucked him into bed, he dared to think about what had happened, what had almost happened. He looked up at her when he walked into the living-room, a veiled look in her eyes. He wanted to suggest a movie or offer to leave but somehow he couldn't say a thing to her. She seemed to sense his indecisiveness and sat down next to him, picking up his hand to run her fingertips across his knuckles. For a moment they remained in silence, not looking at each other, then she sat up straighter. Andy dreaded the lecture he was sure he was about to receive and averted his eyes, bracing himself for the vocal equivalent of a cold shower. Instead he felt her hand cup his cheek and then her lips were on his without as much as a warning. It was nothing like the last kiss she'd given him. Not brief and innocent, but lingering and deep and encouraging. As he felt her tongue dance around his and the pressure of her lips against his own, he couldn't stifle his content groan, almost a grunt as it was caused by surprise as much as arousal. He pulled her against him, his hands roaming her shoulders and arms and he had to restrain himself from squeezing her too hard for fear that she would pull away again. He wouldn't have been able to say how long their kiss lasted. Maybe a minute, maybe five, but he was stunned and devastated to see tears in her eyes when she pulled back.

"Sharon, I'm sorry-" he began in an attempt to somehow make this go away.

"Don't be," she said, bringing up her hand to wipe a tear from her eye while the other was firmly pressed against her stomach. "I wanted this just as much as you did."

"But?" he inquired softly, conscious of her need for physical space.

"I don't know about this," she admitted quietly. "We were such unlikely allies and now we're friends and I just don't know why you-" She cleared her throat. "Andy, I have a husband and I am carrying his child..." For a moment she pressed her lips together then shook her head again. "How could you want this?"

He weighed his head slowly then reached out and entwined his fingers with hers. "I didn't plan on falling in love with you, Sharon, believe me. It just happened." It was out before he had a chance to fully grasp what he was saying. She squeezed his hand a little harder, her eyes clouding over and fresh tears welling up the cause of which he could not fathom. Was she sad? Or happy? Touched? Or overwhelmed? He knew that every word he was about to say had the potential to either make this better or turn it into a complete debacle. It was like a minefield; he had no idea whether he would take a wrong step or not, whether things would blow up in his face any minute.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Sharon. I don't even know what I want exactly. Being around you, being around Tommy feels right to me and kissing you..." He tried a small grin and was relieved to find the ghost of its echo on her features. He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against hers again. "Kissing you feels right as well. Why can't we just go with it and see what happens?"

She shook her head, her hands clawing at the fabric of her dress nervously. It took her a while until she looked back at him and he could see desperate tears shining in hers eyes which held a surprisingly stubborn expression.

"I don't know," she finally said, her voice straining, almost at breaking point. He could sense that she had a hard time controlling her emotions now and some part of him hoped that she would just give up and let them reign, if only for a moment. "I really, really don't know. I- you mean a lot to me, Andy, but Jack and I separated only a few months ago and I still-" She looked defeated now and sounded even more so. "He's the father of my children, Andy."

As much as he wanted to, Andy was unable to control his temper or the volume of his own voice. "And I am the father of mine! What good has it ever done me, Sharon?"

There was a moment of silence during which they stared at each other like two animals on the prowl, both ready to lash out at the slightest of misstep. The air of vulnerability around Sharon had vanished and had given way to the impression of an impenetrable armor around her, the appearance of which frustrated Andy to no end. He opened his palms and sighed, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling to convey not annoyance but hurt.

"How am I supposed to be able to understand you when I don't know anything about your marriage to Jackson?" he said rather softly, searching her eyes for a glimmer of understanding or even affection, but the green orbs remained neutral and distant. She adjusted her position on the couch next to him, pulling at her sleeves to get them to cover her hands. The gesture was the only thing that betrayed her unease as her voice was as steely as ever.

"I am not going to sit here and whine to you about what went wrong in my marriage."

Andy grimaced. This conversation was definitely headed towards disaster and he had no idea how to change its inevitable direction.

"I am not asking you to." He risked touching her arm and lightly pressed down his fingers as if to assure her of his physical presence, to remind her that she was facing him and not the demons that were residing inside her mind. "I just-"

He stopped it there as he could think of nothing to say that wouldn't have been too much too soon. There was no way to put his feelings into words that didn't sound tacky or pathetic. He would just have to wait it out. She turned slowly, looking down at the hand on her arm. He realized that his grip was too hard, that he had spoken with too much vigor. He sounded and acted aggressive although he didn't mean to or even felt. His temper had always been a problem. Although he wasn't exactly violent, he was easily provoked, kept blowing fuses. It was a side to him that he had never displayed towards Sharon but that he was sure she knew pretty well from reading his file. She didn't look scared, though, relieved even, as if she had finally discovered what everyone else was seeing.

"I had more than just one reason to end things with Jack," she said very quietly. "None of which I would like to discuss right now."

"I'm your friend, Sharon. Maybe talking about it would make things easier for you."

She gave a humorless laugh. "Maybe. But it's just not right and, frankly, it is not fair. To either of you."

He wasn't sure what exactly she meant by that, but he couldn't find the words to ask her, didn't dare, even, faced with the look of steady resolve in her eyes.

"Maybe you should go home now," she said very softly and leaned in at the same time to place a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth as if to soften the blow.

"I most probably should."

Deep down, he understood what she was trying to do and why she was doing it, but a part of him that was lurking just below the surface didn't want to accept her rejection, wanted to know where the hell they'd gone wrong and whether there was a chance for things to continue into the more promising direction.

"Night." His voice was gruff and he made no serious attempt to conceal his anger as he stalked towards the door and threw it shut behind him.

The funeral was a big, but quiet affair as many solemn faces looked on in silence, watching the impossibly small casket being lowered into the ground. Andy stood next to Sharon and tried in vain to ban the gruesome images from the little girl's autopsy from his mind. He didn't want to remember her chest gaping wide open or her organs being sliced and examined. The only time he'd seen her alive had been when he'd arrived at the scene of her attack and had crouched down next to her, trying to calm her down until the ambulance arrived. He didn't want to remember her that way either and he found himself hoping that the few years she'd had had been happy ones. His hand brushed Sharon's and he felt her fingers lightly wrap themselves around his, almost as if they'd just been caught there without either of them being in control of it. Her hand was cold and he rubbed her fingers lightly with his fingertips to warm her up, knowing that the gesture was well disguised from prying eyes in the folds of their coats. It was a cool, cloudy day with occasional onslaughts of rain and the gloomy light fit the occasion well. They hadn't seen each other since his heated exit from her home the previous weekend and he was glad that she didn't seem to be angry with him.

Andy couldn't help thinking of his own daughter when the mother began to sob uncontrollably at the priest's quietly spoken funeral eulogy. He'd called his children twice that week and had arranged to visit again soon, hoping to see them on a weekly basis from now on, if possible. They turned away when the mourners walked past the grave and paid their respects to the child's parents. As police officers, they tried to stay in the background, not to remind the family again of the violent nature of their beloved's death. Sharon and Andy walked to the parking lot side by side, both deeply in thought.

"You okay?" he asked her softly when they reached her car.

She nodded, if hesitantly. "You?"

"I guess," he replied then leaned in to give her a firm hug as he had taken up doing as a greeting or farewell. "See you for lunch tomorrow?"

"See you then." She squeezed his hand and climbed into her car. Andy watched her drive off and was startled out of his brooding thoughts by the clearing of someone's throat next to him.

"Sharon Raydor, eh? Guess you had your reasons for your heroics back at the cafeteria." It was Steven Hanks, his squad mate, blue eyes sparkling mischievously, but Andy wasn't the constant drunk he'd been a few months ago so the underlying wariness did not escape him. He buried his hands deeply in the pocket of his coat against the chill and began to walk towards his car, very much feeling the presence of his fellow officer beside him. Steven had the physics of a stereotype high school quarterback from a cheesy teen-movie along with constantly disheveled blond hair and an attractive face. His steps were light and sure and his posture relaxed with every step they took away from the horror and grief behind them.

"Is she your girlfriend now?"

He'd known that he would ask, that someone was bound to ask sooner or later. Steven was not a gossip and Andy was almost sure that, though they weren't especially close, the other man was looking out for him. But what was he to tell him? That he was in love with her and she had rejected him? That he had no idea where they were heading?

"No, she's just a friend."

Steven was square and muscular, but Andy was taller than him so that he had to look up slightly to catch his gaze. He looked anything but convinced and Andy didn't begrudge him that. He wouldn't have believed it either. The lie was just too obvious in his deliberately light tone of voice.

"Really?" The other man said evenly. "That's not what it looked like."

The gravel was crunching beneath their feet and the leaves around them were rustling in the merciless wind but Andy didn't respond. He wasn't ready yet to discuss what was happening between them, much less what wasn't. He hadn't expected their mutual affection to be that obvious to outsiders. On the other hand, he was very conscious of how much they touched each other. It were innocent, affectionate touches, but every time their skin came into contact, Andy felt hot and cold in quick succession. He liked holding her and he longed for her in his arms every lonely, sober night that he had to spend in his own bed, mostly sleepless. Their nights together were calm and actually spent sleeping. As much as he tried to stay awake after she'd drifted off to sleep to be able to inhale the scent of her hair and gently caress her arm or side, he never lasted long. Somehow the insomnia that usually plagued him disappeared whenever he spent the night with her and he woke up the following morning, feeling rested and energized. But their relationship didn't seem to fit into any category. They were more than friends but less than lovers and she still kept many secrets although she accomodated him when it came to physical closeness.

"I think she likes you. I've never seen her like that with anyone," Steven said carefully, his tone genuine and void of any trace of judgement.

Andy frowned, irritated. "Of course she likes me. We're friends. And why are you talking like you know her?"

"Because I used to." Steven shrugged. "We were at the academy together."

Andy felt electrified by the mixture of jealousy and intrigue that surged through him at this revelation. "Really?"

Steven shrugged. "Yes. She's some kind of rich girl but she doesn't talk about it. We only learned of it when her parents attended the graduation ceremony. And she was engaged at the time. Big guy. Really good-looking. She was kind of careful around people but when she brought him along to bar nights, she really loosened up because he had this way with people."

Andy furrowed his brow, trying to look not too interested while his blood was boiling with curiosity and a sudden surge of jealousy. Steven didn't need any encouragement to go on so Andy just stayed quiet and listened, ready to soak up any information he could possibly gather from this unexpected source.

"He was a lawyer and he was crazy about her. Always showed up with flowers and swept her off her feet. We used to joke about how our cautious little Sharon came apart at the seams around him. I really liked her, though. We kept in touch for a while. Too bad she's in FID now."

Andy still didn't answer. Not too long ago, he'd seen the world in exactly the same way that Steven did: Being friends with someone from FID was out of the question because they were enemies to every normal officer throughout the LAPD. Now he felt foolish and a grain of anger was developing when he heard his squad mate talk like that without even questioning the belief behind his words. Andy hunched his shoulders against the cool wind and watched as the other man checked his wrist watch.

"She's pregnant again," Steven stated then, surprising Andy.

"Yes. Quite obviously so," he joked tiredly but Steven didn't even crack a smile.

"I didn't think she would have another baby after what happened the last time." Steven shook his head. "Poor Jack nearly lost his mind over it. I've never seen him that drunk."

So far Andy had responded to all of his revelations with mere grunts or little hums to prevent his ignorance from becoming too obvious. Being Sharon's friend, he felt ashamed of not being in on the secrets, of knowing so little about her past. This, however, made alarm bells go off inside his head so he was unable to hold back.

"What do you mean the last time?" He was instantly embarrassed due to the urgency in his voice and the sudden volume to which it had risen. "What happened?" he added a little more quietly. Fortunately, Steven didn't insist on keeping it to himself now that he had realized that Sharon hadn't told Andy about it. In retrospect Andy would think that maybe it had been a warning, or a little sign of disapproval towards Sharon.

"There were complications when she gave birth to her son. She lost a lot of blood and it was touch-and-go for a while; she almost died, you know. Jack completely freaked out, the poor guy. Made her swear to not have another one. That's probably water under the bridge now." He briefly touched Andy's shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry, I've got to run. See you at work tomorrow!"

He was left behind with a lump in his throat and a strong sense of foreboding.