When in Goode

Percy Jackson screwed up big during the Battle of Manhattan. Now, he has a science fiction pirate and the Avengers, including their newest recruit, Spiderman, on his tail. / "I'm a normal kid!" "Is that why we're standing fifty feet below the surface of the ocean?"

A/N: To Guest- Yeah… I realized that right after I posted Chapter 2 – Thing is, I would have gone back to change it if I could have figured out a way to do the whole bonding thing without Bruce patching him up (cause I just totally thought of Chiron while saying that, and it's all fatherly and stuff).

The only other thing is, I have a bit planned for Percy where the Curse of Achilles comes into play… So congrats! You found a plot hole! I try to keep those to a minimum, but obviously everybody has them at one time or another.

::to my RL BFF, DrOpS-of-JuPiTeR99, because I realized just now that I published Hell to Pay on her freaking birthday, and I said NOTHING. (Two months and several weeks late… Booyah!)

And I guess hp0123, because I use him as a beta on occasion… and also kind of because he's my OTHER RL BFF (That's right, I have TWO WHOLE FRIENDS!)::

Peter looks up to a tapping on the door of his room – er, make that apartment. Once an orphan, now technically the adopted son of Captain America, Spiderman when the need arises, he's still a teenager, which entails privacy and lots of food and expensive things, courtesy of one Tony Stark. As of now, he's addicted to a website that basically idolizes the Avengers. He finds looking at pictures of terrible tattoos of Tony's face and Steve's shield incredibly humorous.

Also as of now, somebody is knocking away at Peter's locked door, which he keeps around for reassurance purposes, forget that any of the Avengers is able to bust open the door jamb if need arise. On most occasions though, the lock is just a cause of extreme annoyance to any and all superheroes attempting to talk to him.

"What is it?" He hollers, hastily clearing his history (a search for Avengers fan art on Google Images, that Avengers fan page, a Wikipedia article on Spiderman, the Masked Vigilante, and several trips to some peculiar site called ' '.) and closing the browser.

He has just slammed the screen of the laptop down when a masculine voice calls back, "Fury wants us on base. Says there's something we have to do." Clint. Peter responds with an exasperated agreement, tosses the computer onto his bed, and snags a hoodie from the doorknob of his closet.

Outside his room, the archer tells him to hurry the hell up, because he's getting impatient and Bruce is acting all weird for some reason. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming! Put an arrow in it!"

Hurried fingers turn the lock and the door swings open, and Clint is standing there, bouncing up and down like the child he is. "Took you long enough? What are you looking at, tucked away in there?" Peter shoves past him, and strides pointedly towards the lounge.

"Waiting on you now!"

The agent barks out a rough laugh and jogs to catch up with the flustered teen.

-O-

"Wow, this sucks big time." Clint states, staring dejectedly around him at the boring meeting room the Avengers are locked up in. Bruce is missing, and both Tony and Steve are absent as well, but Natasha drum her fingers rhythmically against the glass top of the conference table, and Peter absentmindedly fiddles with a twisted beyond repair paperclip that's probably been in his jeans pocket since before the transformation. Thor's massive shoulders extend past the overly padded cushions of the chairs provided. He sits obediently, albeit frowning, arms crossed in boredom.

In addition to the troupe of superheroes SHIELD's gathered, Pepper Potts, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis and Erik Selvig also occupy several of the seats pushed up against the glass table. Pepper, Peter can understand. Jane, seeing as Thor pretty much tells her everything anyways, maybe. But Selvig and Darcy? Really?

Natasha snorts, an amused expression dancing lightly across her face for a moment before returning to its set in stone, no emotions grimace. "Tell me about it." She agrees lowly. Clint casts a glance over at Darcy, who's delighted herself with taking selfies while trying to capture the Avengers in the background. Every so often, she mutters a delighted "Facebook!" and snaps one where somebody is making a particularly comical face.

Peter turns his head slightly when Darcy points the camera his way. He waits for the telltale click of the device to let him know it's safe to look back, but there is nothing. Cautiously, he tilts his head towards the young intern.

"Who are you?" She asks, and damn, there goes any hope for avoiding unnecessary questions. Now there are three curious gazes on Peter. "Some sort of SHIELD agent? Tony and Pepper's love child?" The CEO of Stark Industries splutters, humiliated, and declares that she will be waiting in the hallway.

Clint can barely hold in the laughter until the door swings shut behind her.

"I'm, ah…" Peter trails off awkwardly, at a loss for words. Don't tell them, and wait for Thor to spill the beans in private, or tell them and face any awkward feelings?

"Why, Peter here is the Man of Spiders, no?" He laughs, before leaning over to whisper to the three scientists. "But be not mistaken, my dear friends, he is not related to the Widow in Black."

Well there goes any question on the matter.

"But he's a teenager!" Jane exclaims, indignant that SHIELD is letting someone that young go out and fight.

Peter shrugs, very awkwardly, and silently prays that the door will open, and one of the missing Avengers, or perhaps Fury or Hill, will save him from this very uncomfortable situation.

No such thing happens, and not for the last time, Peter curses his superpowers.

"My uncle liked to nag me that with great power comes great responsibility. Plus… well, once you have powers, what use are they if the only thing you do with them is use them to pull the TV remote from the coffee table to your spot on the sofa? Half the time, I accidentally hit myself in the face with it." To demonstrate, he shoots a web at the tin of pens sitting next to the director's chair at the head of the table. The cup makes a nice dull thwack when it makes contact with his skull, like a rock knocking against a hollow wall. "Slightly embarrassing, but see?"

Darcy, Clint and Natasha snicker, and Thor booms a laugh not unlike thunder, but Jane and Erik look uncomfortable with the display of webs, because suddenly they're shifting impatiently in their chairs, looking for all the world like they'd rather be anywhere else, even if his abilities are a scientist's dream to study.

Peter sighs internally, disappointed that three more people know his secret. Ah well. Life is life.

-O-

"Director Fury, sir. I don't think you quite understand the situation. This boy –"

"Percy!" Tony inputs from across the room.

"Yes, Percy, thank you Tony – he's done nothing wrong technically. So he was photographed holding a sword. There's no evidence that he's ever actually used it on anybody innocent. I don't believe SHIELD has the right to go kidnapping juniors and forcing them into the position of Avenger." Steve Rogers crosses his arms over his chest.

Director Nick Fury mimics the pose. "Captain, it's not really up to you, is it? The boy's dangerous. He's got powers no one on this earth has ever heard of before. Both Dr. Richards and Professor X have confirmed that. He took out half a park with a wave of his hand. What's to say he won't turn these powers on us? On the world?"

"For another thing, Director, I don't want a teenager being forced onto my team."

"Yet you let Spiderman in on it."

"That's different. He was already fighting crime before we got to him. And now, it's technically legal. We haven't caught so much of a whiff of this boy – Yes, Tony, I know his name is Percy – before the Manhattan Blackout. He obviously doesn't want this."

"Right now, he doesn't have a lot of say in the matter."

"The hell he doesn't! The kid's – Tony! – seventeen years old! He isn't even an adult yet!"

Tony watches the exchange with glee. Captain Oh-So-Mighty is normally one of the only team members who backs Fury up. And now he's downright disagreeing with him.

"If I may interrupt your catfight, ladies," Tony says, peering over his shoulder into the glass containment room – one that doesn't drop twenty thousand feet if something gets a little damaged – at the figure inside. Jeez. The kid is hunched over, staring at the floor like it's the most interesting television show they have on these days. Bruce can be seen kneeling next to him, mouth moving, and Percy's head bobbing slightly to indicate that he is still pretending to listen. "Could I try for a blood sample? Mutations, radioactive poisoning, traces of the Hudson in the DNA – that stuff is bound to show up in the tests."

Fury, who glares at Tony for the smart remark, gives the hopeful billionaire a curt nod. Steve shoots the pair of them a displeased glare.

"Director – Stark – I think the last thing Percy needs is someone jabbing needles under his skin. He made his terms very clear – I think we should honor them. That way, there's less chance of someone getting hurt."

"So now you're admitting the kid is dangerous? Weren't you just telling me he's nothing but rainbows and sunshine?"

"Weren't you the one who was just nagging me, saying his name is Percy?"

"…Touché…"

"If you two women –"

"Hey! That was my insult first!"

"Are finished here, I'd like to get the results on that blood test on my desk in an hour, tops. Got it Stark?"

"Yeah, yeah, no slacking off, don't try to poison the kid to see what happens – that was one time, now everybody goes all batshit crazy when I'm supposed to be running the tests. Jesus."

Fury shoots one last glare at Tony with his one good eye, and turns to leave, most likely to frighten some of the Level two clearance recruits.

"Wanna help, Cap?" Tony asks, shooting a hopeful glance over at the captain. "I promise to play nice."

Steve shakes his head. The hallway leading to the team is the right branch, two lefts after that, then a staircase up, and then a left, right, right, straight, left, in that order. Room 404 on the right side of the corridor. He jerks a thumb behind him in that direction. "Nah. I figure I'll go check out how the team is doing. Clint and Peter are bound to have gone crazy by now, and I'll bet anything that Thor has done something to disrupt the weather somewhere."

"You sure you remember how to get there?"

Steve tells him, then turns on his heel and he's off.

"Son of a bitch." Tony says to an empty room.

-O-

"Percy, for the record, I am sorry you're being dragged into this." Bruce says, shining an apple on his shirt. Percy bobs his head, but refuses to make eye contact with the doctor. The man sighs and hands over the fruit.

Percy takes a tentative bite.

The silence is upsetting to say the least. Isn't this kid supposed to have ADHD, always moving around, needing to do something constantly? So why does he look like someone killed his puppy?

Percy puts the apple down on the bed beside him with a slight huff of a breath.

"Are you okay?" Bruce asks. But the teenager's mind is a million miles away. What Bruce doesn't know is that he's dreaming of a salt-and-pepper haired man in a tracksuit, with a caduceus and two entwined snakes.

"Percy, Zeus too happy to hear that the Hero of Olympus is now working with the U.S. government." Hermes tells him, rifling through his bag with disgust. "I cannot find that stupid –"

"I can't help it now. There isn't enough Mist between all the gods to make the mortals forget now. I talked to my father in the ocean. He said it's best to ride out the tension… But he's always trying to relate his advice to the sea, so I don't know how helpful his advice is when he does that." Percy scowls and rubs one hand furiously back and forth along the length of his calf, just to keep moving.

"Right, your father. I have something here from him, said to give it to you because –" Hermes is cut off by someone else's voice.

"Percy! Just the poor imprisoned teenage gladiator I wanted to see." Tony Stark is in the room with him and Bruce now, although the doctor is shooting the man glares over Percy's shoulder. "Listen, would you mind if we took a little blood sample, just to make sure you're in working order –"

Automatically, Percy moves to curl in on himself, because half of his DNA is basically non-existent, and also because his skin is basically freaking iron. "No can do, come back another time." He stutters nervously.

"Afraid of a needle?" Tony jokes.

Unabashed, with the trace of the infuriating smirk that absolutely drives Thalia insane, he retorts, "I am when a mental patient is handling them." And then he remembers that he's not supposed to be getting along with these people, he's supposed to be waiting until SHIELD screws up so he can leave like he promised he will, and he automatically retreats back into his shell.

"Aw, come on! I was only messed up as a kid!" Seeing the look of disbelief Bruce sends him, he amends begrudgingly, "And most of my teenage and adulthood. But I assure you, I'm feeling completely sane today!"

When Percy uncurls a bit to laugh at the mad-scientist expression on Tony's face, the billionaire makes a lunge for his unprotected arm.

His aim was spot-on for once.

He had the perfect opportunity.

The kid's arm was even straight.

And then the needle shatters against what looks to be, feels like, and acts like human flesh.

Neither Tony nor Bruce ever saw this one coming. Waves sure. Actual invincibility is a different matter altogether.

-O-

It takes the amount of time from when Steve has just been corrected on Percy's name for the second time to when he opens the door of the conference room, already prepared for the worst, for the shit to totally hit the fan.

He stumbles upon Pepper first, who sits at the end of the passage, her head in her hands, muttering things to herself about Tasers and her opinion on where a certain political science intern can shove her's. After checking to make sure this isn't the second CEO of Stark Industries to go completely mental, Steve wishes her tentative luck on the form of revenge she has planned, and continues down the hall for the room Director Fury called him and the two resident superhero geniuses out of nearly half an hour ago.

"What in the Lord's name are you doing?" Steve yells. Stunned into a statue-like silence, the only movement made is the flight of a mutilated paperclip to go flying past the supersoldier's head and imbed itself a few centimeters deep into the wood paneling of the doorway. Natasha, the only person other than Clint with the aim and power to pull that off, seeing as Clint is swinging upside down from the vent in the corner of the room, looks on innocently.

Peter looks completely at home in Director Fury's chair, his sneakers smudging the glass of the table, hands locked behind his head. There is even a crudely made eye patch covering his right eye. There have even been scars drawn in using the back-up liquid eyeliner Jane keeps in her back pocket. His shocked expression is laughable; Darcy's phone gives off an extremely audible click.

Erik is absent from the room; it's incredibly likely that he snuck off to hide in one of the bathrooms the second things started to escalate. Jane and Thor are suspiciously absent as well, as there are many abandoned closets littering the halls of the helicarrier.

"Hey Cap! So what's up with Fury?" Clint drops from the vent, his boots echoing dully a few decks below them. There is a distant shout from one of the agents a floor below them, who is apparently trying to 'GET SOME GODDAMN WORK DONE', so help him. Peter looks at his adopted father with an interested expression on his face, willing him to spill the beans. Before Steve says anything though, he shoves Pete's Chucks off of the expensive glass conference table, sits an overly excitable Darcy back in her chair, and shoots Natasha a warning look.

Peter whines. "Okay, you've set us right, now tell ussssssss! I'm boooorrrreeeedddd!"

Clint shoots a rubber band at the bridge of the petulant teen's nose. Spider-like reflexes kick in, and Peter dodges it with a dirty look shot at Clint.

"Settle down." Steve ushers. "There's a… a new recruit."

And Steve thought that the shit had hit the fan before.

A/N: Also, before I forget, Erun1 again. Let us all just take a moment to appreciate people like this…

Ahh… That was refreshing.

So I of course wanted to say thank you for all of your amazingness. If this story were to hit, say… 40 reviews, 70 favorites and 100 follows, I will… be extremely happy…? I dunno. Thank you guys!

Reviews make me barf rainbows!

Just kidding.

Hahahahahahahaha! I got you there, didn't I?

No…? Didn't think so.

Have a nice day… er, early morning!