Chapter 3- The Problem with Vulcans

I must have drifted back to sleep at some point because the next thing I knew, I heard the sound of splashing water in the bathroom. I sat up and my head felt somewhat better, although it still felt like I had sand in my mouth. I sat against Uhura's empty bed and closed my eyes until she came out and sat next to me. She handed me a glass of water with a smile and I was ever so grateful even though my stomach lurched sickeningly.

She squirmed and licked her lips the way people do when they are just itching to say something when they know they shouldn't. I pretended not to notice just to see how long she could hold out. I didn't have to wait long.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked in an excited tone while tying her long, shiny hair into a bun.

I sighed. "You can ask anything you want, you just might not get an answer." I warned. I really shouldn't be so short with her seeing as how she did give me a place to stay, but I was never one for girl talk and that was where this conversation seemed to be going.

"So what is with you and McCoy?" She pressed absolutely undeterred.

"There is nothing with us." I replied flatly. "We work in the same department and he does his thing while I do mine. I think we have a mutual professional respect for each other, but nothing more. You don't dip your pen in the company ink."

"Mmmhmmm." She hummed obviously not convinced. "That's not what it looks like."

"What does that mean?" I asked somewhat irritated. I had left high school a long time ago and I thought she had as well.

"Really?" She exclaimed with a laugh. "You had lunch with the man! No one eats lunch with him. No one I tell you! I see the way he is with you. I saw the two of you last night and you seemed pretty cozy. You were dancing pretty close…" Her voice was playfully taunting, but I was determined not to take the bait.

"Uhura, I was close to everyone, including you. Hell, I was up against people I had never met before because the place was so full, there was no way to avoid it. You are simply misinterpreting events. Is that because you want there to be a connection?" I smiled as I turned the tables on her.

She was indeed caught off guard, but recovered beautifully. She waved her hand and said, "Look, whatever the two of you do is none of my business."

"Alright, I answered your question." I paused before grinning and asking, "What is with you and Spock?"

Although I was taking a stab in the dark, I knew I hit the mark. The shock on her face was priceless. She looked around the room as though someone were listening. "How did you know?" She whispered. "We are keeping it a secret."

"Relax, Uhura." I said in a soothing voice. "If you want it to remain a secret, it is safe with me. But as to how I knew, it wasn't you. If I had just been watching you, I would have never noticed the connection. I put it together from him. It was the way he would pause just for a nanosecond every time he walked by your station and the subtle way he greeted you just a little differently than he did the others. Mostly it was his eyes. He may be great at keeping his expression neutral, but his eyes speak volumes once you learn how to read them. Do you remember when the Captain invited us to the Lounge on deck 2?" She nodded her head with an amused look on her face. "When you asked Chekov and Sulu to dance I noticed a very quick but definite flash in his eyes that I figured out was probably jealously. He didn't like you dancing with other men."

"No!" She exclaimed with surprise. "You saw that?" I nodded and she laughed. "He did talk to me about it afterward. He knows I love to dance and he doesn't, so he normally doesn't mind. But for whatever reason it bugged him that night. It is strange sometimes." Her voice sounded sad and it struck a chord in me.

I sat up straight and turned toward her. "What do you mean it is strange?" I asked softly.

She sighed and shook her head. "It is a long story, you probably don't want to hear it." She continued to look down at her crossed legs, but her expression told me she was carrying a heavy burden.

"Uhura, if I am going to be the ship's counselor, you will have to trust me. I promise that whatever you say, and I do mean whatever, will not be repeated to anyone. I take my ethical responsibilities very seriously. I won't force you to talk to me, but I am here to listen to anything you feel like talking about."

She looked at me and gave a small smile. "It's just hard to keep secrets. We have to sneak around and be so careful so people won't catch on. He feels it will have a negative impact on his ability to command and worries constantly about the perception of favoritism. He felt that way in classes at the Academy and I had to absolutely insist he assign me to the Enterprise. I understand why he does it and I can't say he doesn't have a point, but when can we just come clean and live like normal people?" Her voice was strained and the stress of it all marred her normally radiant features.

"It must be hard for you, but it sounds like this arrangement has been in place for some time. Your relationship with him must be fairly strong to withstand that kind of strain." I commented.

"I do love him and I would do anything for him, but sometimes I wish he could just be a little more human, you know? I respect his Vulcan heritage and traditions, but I wish that we could just do normal things like dance, or maybe he could bring me flowers once in awhile or even wish me happy birthday. It all feels so alienating sometimes. I try so hard to respect his wishes, but it would be nice if once in awhile he would bend just a little and respect my needs." She murmured.

"Have you spoken to him about this?" I asked. "I think he would listen and be willing to try if he knew this was causing you so much misery."

"That's just it," she sighed, "he would rationalize everything and go on about how wishing me a happy birthday was not logical. If I argued with him long enough he might just give up and do it, but by then it wouldn't mean anything." She looked at me apprehensively and asked in a low voice, "Are you sure that you won't repeat anything?"

I knew from experience that this was the cue for the bomb to drop. I looked her directly in the eyes and said, "I swear on whatever deity you hold most sacred that I will not breathe a word to anyone on pain of being locked alone in a room with a Romulan."

She smiled at the joke and then took a deep breath. "I am not even sure how it all started, but Scotty and I have been spending more and more time together. He isn't afraid to dance or have fun and I find that refreshing. I have to be so careful and guarded around Spock, but I can just be myself with Scotty and I feel so….so…alive. Do you think I should break it off with Spock?"

I also knew from experience to never make decisions for patients. "You will have to figure that out on your own," I said gently, "but it might help to sit down and think about what you want from a relationship right now. Do you want something casual or more serious? Are you looking for fun or stability? What are the things that you like and dislike about each of them? In the end you have to do what is right for you. If that means staying with Spock and trying to make it work, then fine. If it means deciding that you are not getting what you need from your current situation and calling it quits, then that has to be fine too. It is nice that you care so much for Spock, but relationships that are only one way affairs are unhealthy. Your happiness must mean something, you just have to find the courage to make it a priority."

"Yeah, you are right." She admitted hanging her head. "It is just so hard."

"No one said life was easy, but something tells me that you are not the kind of person that backs away from a challenge." I encouraged.

We both jumped when there was a knock at her door. "Uhura?" Came Jim's gravelly voice. "Do you know where Morgan is?"

Uhura got up and I moved so she could open the door. "She's with me." She informed in her silky voice as though nothing had happened.

Jim's bloodshot blue eyes peered around her and I waved. "Good," he said cheerily, "I thought we lost her somewhere last night. Anyway, Command says they will have the ship launch ready in four days. Looks like we won't get an extended leave after all. I don't know how they could possibly repair it in that time. Scotty is going to be pissed if they only half ass it."

"You'll just have to try harder next time." She laughed.

"Yeah, I'll tell Sulu to do a controlled crash landing next time." He said dryly. "Anyway, we have a launch time of 0700, so make the most of it."

"Jim," I called slowly standing, "can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," He replied suspiciously, "I have a meeting with the Admiral in a few minutes, walk with me."

He walked briskly and I followed him in a light trot. I see Spock wasn't the only one fond of speed walking. "Jim, I was wondering how I would go about visiting Chicago while I was here."

"Chicago?" He laughed. "Why the hell would you want to go there?" He suddenly stopped and added, "Shit. That's probably where you are from, isn't it? Sorry." He began walking again and said, "Go back and have Uhura help you pack. I'll work it out."

I stopped, slightly winded while he went on. "Thanks!" I called after him. He waved in response and started running toward his destination.

I looked around and gradually panicked. I was so intent on following Jim that I hadn't paid one bit of attention to where we were going or even where we came from. There were no computer panels like the ship. Even if there were, I didn't know the name of the buildings so it would do no good to stop anyone to ask. I sat on the edge of the walkway and cursed my lack of directional skills. All I could really do was sit and wait and hope Jim took the same route back. I scanned each passing face in anticipation like a lost puppy.