Chapter 6- Letting Go

The next morning we made our way to the west side, the location of the hospital where I used to work. I faced the location where I used to see patients, but I didn't recognize anything. The entire complex had been torn down and rebuilt. Only the name remained. I was a little at a loss as to what to do next. I was counting on something that I had recognized so I could finally leave it behind, but there was no trace to mourn. "They used to call this area the Medical District because it was my hospital, one affiliated with a state university, a veteran's hospital, and the county hospital all together." I muttered. "Now it looks like it is all gone."

McCoy looked around at the sprawling interconnected buildings. Sirens of ambulances screamed past occasionally while people wearing what I assumed to be modern medical uniforms went about their business. "Looks like the hospital I trained in at Ole Miss," he observed, "but really they all look the same I guess." Pavel snapped some more pictures and McCoy shot him an annoyed glance.

"Ve can go in," Pavel suggested, "maybe they have old pictures or maybe information. 10 people just disappeared that day."

I sighed heavily. "It was a long time ago, Pavel. Even if they had some record of it, the abductions would have seemed random since we were only connected by this location. Believe me, people stop caring after awhile. I doubt anyone even noticed I was gone at first."

Me? What about Debbie? I bet no one ever noticed she was gone if they never seemed to notice her when she was there.

"Bullshit." McCoy said emphatically. "I don't believe for one second that you went unnoticed." I just stood staring at the scene of my abduction searching for something, anything. "Hey," He said quietly leaning in close so Pavel couldn't hear, "are you going to be ok?"

He looked genuinely concerned and I smiled. "Eventually." I almost whispered. "It just feels like visiting your own grave. This is where my life ended."

"It did," he stated, "but you got a new one. Still, I understand the need to grieve for the loss of everything that you knew, so I will leave you alone to pay your last respects." He gave me a light pat on the shoulder and turned to lead Pavel several steps away to wait.

I thought about my old life and all of the patients I had seen both here and elsewhere. I thought about my coworkers and my personal life. But the more I looked at the new buildings that surrounded me, the more I realized that the world had moved on without me and it was time I did too. The only remaining trace of the world I knew now existed in my own memory and I no longer saw a need to keep reliving it as though I could somehow go back and change anything. Letting go of the guilt and fear felt bittersweet, but at least I could now take my place in the here and now rather than looking back. I finally felt free. I would always love the city, but now I could love it for what it was instead of what it used to be.

I approached the two men and asked, "So what did you guys want to do? I think I am done here."

McCoy gave me a small nod, but left it up to Pavel who decided to take in a comedy show and then enjoy a quiet dinner at the top of one of the many skyscrapers. The lights twinkled below us and the dimly lit dining room made the time spent together intimate. McCoy's table manners were shockingly appropriate for the occasion, that was until the waiter brought a drink to him courtesy of a beautiful blonde at the bar. He quickly went from being relaxed to agitated because he didn't want to be rude, but he wasn't in the mood for a hookup either. "Damn it," he whispered, "she has some balls! How does she know we aren't together? You should be offended!"

I smiled and asked, "Do you want me to go over there and defend your honor? Tell her you are a doctor, chicks dig that. Especially her."

"How do you know that?" He asked glancing in her direction.

"Unless things have changed drastically, which I highly doubt, it is written all over her. She looks too young to be a professional herself, and she is dressed a little scantily for this particular establishment. She is clearly fishing for a sugar daddy and if you tell her you are a doctor, all she will hear is a cash register ringing." I told him with a sigh.

He lowered his voice and gave me a wicked smile. "I just thought as my wife you would be at least a little jealous." My jaw dropped faster than I could catch it prompting his smile to go full blown. "Yeah, he dropped that little gem on me along with the ultimatum." He added taking a sip of the free drink. "Imagine my surprise."

"Well, I don't mind you thanking a lady for her misguided kindness, but don't keep me waiting. I might have to leave you for a younger man." I said coyly nodding toward an obviously embarrassed Pavel.

"Yes, dear." He dutifully said excusing himself from the table. It had just enough realism to it to make it somehow sad.

I didn't have to wait long before he returned and settled back in. "You're up, Chekov." He said with a sigh.

"Sir?" Pavel asked panicked.

"Yeah, she wants to talk to you." He said breezily. "I told her you were on the fast track to Starfleet Captain and she lost interest in me, so go get her!"

"But, Sir! I do not know the lady!" He protested as he went pale.

"And you won't as long as you sit here." McCoy grumbled, "Chekov, it isn't polite to keep a lady waiting. Now get your ass in gear before I kick it over there myself."

It was like watching him escort the Klingons all over again. The same defeated, hopeless posture, the same look of dread on his face. I felt bad for him, but I knew he would figure a way out of it soon. I also knew McCoy was again public enemy number one on his shit list.

"What did you tell her you did for a living?" I asked flatly.

"Sanitation. Turns out chicks don't dig that as much." He said finishing his free drink. "Little bastard deserves it for the stunt he pulled at the depot, damn near putting my eyes out."

I sighed. And so the wheel turned again. It seemed like a modern day version of the Hatfields and McCoys. I wondered if he was a descendent of that family, it would sure explain a lot….

"So when are we leaving tomorrow?" I asked glancing over at Pavel who was artfully evading her attempts to touch him. She seemed overly gropey.

"0900. That will put us back in plenty of time for Spock to pull the rod out of his ass." He answered rolling his eyes. "If there is anyone that pisses me off more than Jim it is that hobgoblin motherfucker."

The man behind McCoy turned to give him a dirty look and I smiled apologetically. "Mind your manners." I scolded. He gave me a sour look, but didn't say anything more. "So what will we be doing when we launch?" I asked.

"You mean the mission?" He clarified. "The same old thing- go forth and find new civilizations blah blah. My personal mission? To stay the hell away from that transporter and try not to get involved with anything Jim is doing at any particular moment. I would like to hide in a closet somewhere until we land again, but in reality I know that I will be expected to pull one miracle after another out of my ass all while being exposed to whole new breeds of contagion and disease for which there is no cure, but is sure to cause great pain and suffering. Just another day on the Enterprise." His features had gone dark and I was left amazed at how quickly his mood could swing.

"I am sure it can be incredibly stressful for you at times," I said reassuringly, "but you are an outstanding doctor, I am living proof of your talent. Besides, you will have me on this trip."

"See, that's where I am confused," He smirked, "exactly how do I have you? As a wife? A colleague?" He squinted for effect, "I am not sure what the exact nature of our relationship is supposed to be."

"Then let me define it for you." I said leaning across the table. "First and foremost I do not in any way belong to you. I am not your property, you sick chauvinist bastard. I am your coworker and your professional colleague. I am also your counselor as you or I see fit just as you are my physician. Is that clear enough?"

He chuckled and put his hands up in mock surrender. "I was just kidding, sister. I am down with women's rights, it's just that you are so damn funny when you are angry. You try so hard to control it when maybe you should just let it fly sometimes."

"Like you?" I asked amused. "That approach doesn't go over so well on my side of the fence and I doubt it would get many positive results if I screamed at someone for not feeling better or making a bad decision."

"We should call it a night." McCoy said standing from the table. "We can't miss that shuttle or Spock will have our asses, or so he thinks." As he walked past Pavel, he clapped him on the shoulder and said, "Come on, kid. It is past your bedtime. Even Captains have to go night night sooner or later." Pavel's face turned a crimson red and I knew that although he was trying to help, McCoy dug the hole he was already in much deeper. I didn't know what kind of revenge Pavel had in mind, but I knew he would somehow make it sweet.