Chapter 1

Once I dreamed about running away from home. Being able to do what I want without any adults there to tell me that eating sweets all day will cause bellyache. I was five. When I turned eleven I wanted to run away with my cat and start working in a zoo. So far as I can remember I never wanted to stay home, my heart always ached for the streets. But right at the moment standing in a dark alley that stung like vomit, I wanted nothing more than to go home again. But there's no home to go. My last guardians probably died and the flat now belongs to another fucked-up family with three dogs. Not that I care, they threw me out when I turned 15. I would rather jump on a wild lion than go back to them.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

I didn't need to turn around to see who's voice this was. I would recognize it anywhere. "Hey Simon, nice to see your face again."

The guy came stand to my left, frowning at me. "No, seriously, what are you doing here? That's Sebastians alley. Please tell me you're not into that stuff again, because I really don't like beating the crap out of you." I grinned at him. Poor Simon, always worrying about me.

"Relax, I don't do drugs anymore." Not after what happened to Maia, I added in my thoughts. He relaxed a little bit, but still looked concerned. It made him look older - around 25 - even when he's 18, just like me. But he's nothing like me at all. We may both have a rough life, but I still look forward for the day my life will change. He's not. He's broken. Fucked-up. Hopeless. He lives to die. There is no sunshine in his life. That's not only because of the sudden death of his mother, but because of his family. His oldest sister dissapeared four years ago. She didn't leave a message, never called, nobody saw her. I think she has run off with a hot hispanic guy and is now lying at the beach drinking some pink coctail. Simon thinks her bodys lies in some alley in New Mexico. I still wait for a postcard from Jamaica, Simon still waits for the cops to call.

"So what are you doing in Sebs alley?" He waited for an answer. We both know he can tell if I lie. Not that I would lie to him, he's my best friend.

"He still ownes me money, and Tony will kick me out if I at least don't pay for the food." Tony lives in a small house he got from his parents when they died. He lets some street kids live there if they pay some money. I've known him for five years, but we're nothing like friends.

"You know you dont' have to live at his place." Simon once offered me to stay at his place, but considering his three sisters and abusive father - I rejected. We've talked about this many times, he knows my reasons but he keeps on hoping I will say yes. He thinks someting may get better if he'll see me more often, but I don't think this would end good.

"I do." I do know you want me to be more than just a friend. I do know that I would probably make you feel better - a least for some time. Something will happen and I will loose you. Our friendship. He never hid his feelings, but I prefered to ignore them. It's easier this way.

A low voice snapped me back to reality. "You two idiots should fuck the hell out of here."

I turned. Sebastian was leaning against the wall. He was really good-looking, if you like the bad-boy image, but he's the most dangerous guy I know. I try to avoid him, but with all of the kids doing drugs I see him at least once a week. Last time he was lying half-dead at Tonys door. I helped him inside - even helped with his wounds - and then he asked for some money. I was stupid enough to give him the last I had. I just couldn't reject him when he was all covered in blood. Now I needed my money, or I would spend the next weeks under some bridge.

"We will, after you give me back my money." I tried to keep my voice calm, I didn't want to piss him off. No one knows what he would do, so I didn't risk. He looked at me, one eyebrow raised in question. I sighed. "Remember when someone almost killed you and you came to Tobys? I gave you 200 bucks."

He probably remembered now, because he pulled out his wallet. He handed me some banknotes. It wasn't enough. I blinked at him. Now it was his turn to sigh. "I will give you the rest tomorrow. And now piss off, I have a client."

I looked across the street, seeing a woman heading to us. She was dressed like some high-school bitch. Rich fuckers and their secrets. Turning to Simon I tried to remember what day it was. Wednesday. Tony said he would wait till Friday. We started walking away, I could hear Sebastian talking to the woman but couldn't make out what he was saying. Then she hissed, "I told you I don't know. He didn't told me."

I didn't bother to look back, it wasn't my business, I didn't care either. Simon just opened his mouth to say something when we heard a gun shooting. Once. Twice. Simon grabbed me and pulled us in the next alley. We stood there for five minutes in silence. I guess we were too shocked to say something. I couldn't even think . Some more minutes passed, and we still couldn't hear anything. I peeked to Sebastians place and all I could see was a body lying there. I started heading there when Simon pulled me back. I glared at him. "Let me go."

He shook his head. "No, forget it. Please, let us just go. I'll treat you a chocolate ice-cream." Bribing me with ice-cream - chocolate ice-cream - would have worked if not the adrenaline running trough my veins.

"I just want to see if he's okay." He still didn't let go. I added, "I do want my money back." He rolled his eyes but let me go. I jogged to the body, expecting to see Sebastian but lying there was the women. I didn't see her face - I don't think I wanted to. I started backing off when Simon started murmuring, "Fuck, he killed her. He killed her. He killed a women. He just shoot her, oh my god- Clary- he just shoot her here..." He kept talking when I throwed up. It stopped soon as there wasn't much to throw up. I didn't want to look back to the body - this all looked to much like what happened with Maia - so I stayed where I was. I felt sick again and coughed - but nothing came out. I was still coughing when Simon called me, "Clary you need to see this."

"No Simon, I prefer not to see another dead body and-" He cut me off, "Clary, shut up." I looked up to him, doing my best to avoid looking at the body. Simon looked at the womens face and at me again. He looked like he would throw up too. Then he said, "Clary she looks exactly like you."

"What?" I screamed and stormed to him. He wouldn't joke about such a thing, would he? Despite how much I didn't want to look at the body I glanced at the womans face, and froze. I knew this face. The big green eyes, parted lips and red curls on the cheek. I knew that face, because every time I looked into a mirror I saw it. She didn't just look exactly like me. She looked identical like me, like a clone or a doppelganger.

Simon cleared his throat. "Clary, do you have a twin sister you don't know about?" I shook my head. I was the only child in the family, that much I could remember. He looked back at the woman. "Then what the hell is this?"

If only I knew.