Lifeboats
The alarm wakes them both and Kate grunts softly, sitting up in bed and carding a hand through Castle's hair, murmuring quietly to him. "Sorry babe. Go back to sleep."
She half expects him to argue, but Rick rolls over onto his stomach and presses his face into the pillow without rousing at all. Biting back a laugh, Kate slips her way out from between the sheets and pads across the room to the bathroom. His shower is amazing; she flips on the faucet to start it running and peels her sleep shirt up over her head.
In the mirror, Kate smoothes her hands over her stomach and turns sideways on, inspects the flat plane. Since she and Castle started sleeping together she hasn't had as much time to work out, not in the conventional sense anyway. Really, she ought to start running again.
Especially now that her personal life is so stressful. Right now everything's fine, the four of them captured in a sort of limbo while they wait for Rick's chemo to start, but once it does the stress will lie quietly in waiting to tear at her throat. So she'll need to run.
For now though, it's all good. Rick certainly hasn't had any complaints about her physique, quite the opposite in fact. It makes her blood rush faster through her veins when he looks at her that way, as if she's the most exquisite thing he's ever seen.
Kate peels off her sleep shorts and arranges them artfully to hang off of the doorknob. It'll make him smile when he eventually gets up, and even if she won't see just the knowledge is enough. Steam is curling up over the top of the shower door now and Kate shimmies a little with delight, stepping inside the mammoth stall and underneath the spray.
Deliciously warm, the water cascades down over her shoulders and slicks through her hair, turning it to a sodden rope that hangs over one shoulder. Kate shaves and pours shampoo into the cup of her palms, scrubbing it through her hair and tipping her head backward to rinse off.
The touch of fingers at her waist startles her and Kate whips around, soap in her eyes as she comes face to face with her boyfriend. "Jesus Christ, Castle. You scared me."
"Sorry." He laughs, nudging her backwards and turning the faucet to turn on the other shower. Dual showerheads, and Kate has scoffed at him about that before but she won't deny her gratitude at him being here now. "I thought you'd hear me come in."
Yeah, she should have heard him. She was just. . .distracted. Thinking about him, about how right it feels to carry out her morning routine in his home instead of her own. How much she was looking forward to being able to kiss him goodbye, even if only the snatch of bare skin exposed underneath the sheets pulled up around his head.
"What are you doing up?"
"I wanted to say goodbye properly to my sexy girlfriend." He grins at her, stepping in close to push his mouth to hers. Water slips in rivulets between their bodies and Kate grins, presses herself ever nearer to him.
Arms coming up to lace around his neck, Kate lifts an eyebrow and rocks her hips slowly against his. Castle groans and dips down to kiss her, a hand sliding down to palm her ass. The grin that wants out is so far beyond her control that Kate can do nothing but let it split her face wide apart, watching him through the waterlogged fringe of her lashes. "You trying to make me late?"
"Course not. Just wanted to see you. I'll miss you today."
"I'll miss you too." Kate reassures him, surprised at just how true the sentiment is. Really, they've never been one of those intensely clingy couples that can't bear to be separated. Beckett goes to work; sometimes she comes home to Castle and sometimes she doesn't. Until now, that is. It's actually kind of nice to have the certainty of company for later.
Solitude has always been a precious commodity to Kate, but she's not above admitting that she wants him with her to share in the quiet and the calm that is her life outside of the precinct.
"Do you want some coffee?" Castle asks her, tipping his head backward to let the water hit his face for a moment. When he comes up for air he grins at her, lopsided and adorable and Kate is struck with a dichotomous urge to simultaneously mother him and push him up against the tile.
Instead, she pours conditioner into her palms and coats her fingers with it, raking them through the ends of her hair and rinsing them off before she comes in close to kiss Rick again. Humming into it, Kate lifts onto tiptoe so the slippery length of her body aligns with his and flattens her palms against his chest. "Coffee would be wonderful. Thank you."
"Okay." He beams. It makes him happy to do things for her, she's quickly realising, so even though he's the one who's sick she makes a mental note to let him take care of her just as she wants to do for him. "I'll bring it into the bedroom for you."
"Thanks." She smiles, watching appreciatively as he turns away from her to step out of the shower stall. Mm, yeah, he tells her all the time that he thinks she's gorgeous, and that's something else that she needs to remember to do. Tell him that he's pretty gorgeous himself.
Kate rinses the conditioner out of her hair, turning off the faucet and squeezing the excess water from the ends of her hair before she steps out of the cubicle. The towels at the loft are sinfully soft and Kate grabs one from the warmer, knotting it above her breasts and heading through to the bedroom.
Last night, she didn't get any farther than unpacking her toothbrush and so now her duffel bag is still at the end of their bed. Kneeling down next to it, Kate rummages inside for the vanity with all the rest of her toiletries and carries it back through to the bathroom. Duplicates of all her shower things were already here; it had just seemed easier to keep a bottle of her shampoo at Rick's place too.
In front of the bathroom mirror Kate applies her makeup, finishing up with her eyeliner right as Castle comes in with her coffee. "Here. I bought in vanilla creamer for you specially."
"Oh you did? Thank you. That's really sweet." Turning to face him, Kate leans back against the hard edge of the bathroom counter and takes the mug he offers her, wrapping both hands around it and taking a slow sip. Sparks of gratitude erupt low down in her stomach and Beckett sets her coffee down on the counter to free up her hands, lacing her fingers with his. "Are you sure you don't mind me moving in here?"
Rick lifts an eyebrow and comes in to brush his mouth against hers, the kiss crumbling apart around his grin. "Why would I mind?"
"This is your home, Rick. Your family's home, and I just-"
"Don't." He grits out, kissing her hard and bruising. His tongue strokes inside her mouth and Kate whimpers, breaking the grip of their hands to clutch at his waist. "You are my family, Kate. Just as much as they are."
"Okay." She murmurs, shame making her cheeks burn. It's barely six months since he's been back in her life and a part of her feels that perhaps she shouldn't love him so intensely already. Not that it matters. She does love him, unashamed and a little brutal in it. Tender, too, and it's the tenderness that makes her bold. "We're not family yet, Rick. Not until you put a ring on my finger."
And then Kate strides out of the bathroom and closes the door in his face.
By six thirty, Castle has recovered from the watershed of this morning somewhat. Of course, he's still reeling; keeps finding himself paused in the middle of whatever he was doing as he contemplates the enigma that is Kate Beckett. Only now there's less panic and a whole lot more naked desire.
The cancer is not quiet, not ever, and the spectre of it forces him onto an accelerated pace for life. The time he has laid up in store is far less than he assumed when he was young, arrogant and glutting himself on his fresh fortune. So everything seems of the utmost importance, every moment one that he wants to keep preserved in amber to return to later.
Even Kate. Especially Kate.
And now he has the idea of putting a ring on her finger in his head and all the panic has abated, the sinkhole that opened in his stomach in its place yearning for nourishment. Of the kind that can only be found at Tiffany's. Rick huffs a laugh and shakes his head at himself, returns to chopping up vegetables for dinner.
At the kitchen island, Alexis glances up from her math homework and sends him a questioning look, still chewing on the cap of her pen. Biting his tongue, Castle carefully ignores the choking hazard and wiggles his eyebrows at her instead.
His daughter seems okay, has done all day. This morning they went to the library and she picked up some books; a couple she said that Kate had recommended to her and it sent flares of desperate yearning through his guts. Alexis had held his hand and called him Daddy and laughed at his jokes. Even so, Rick is on high alert for any sign that she is about to fall apart on him.
"When's Kate coming?" Alexis asks him, the blush-coloured rosebud of her mouth set in a prim little pout. She fancies herself as quite the grown up young woman, his daughter; he's hoping that Kate's influence can help to quell some of the precociousness.
Rick crows in satisfaction as he manages to defeat a particularly stubborn carrot and he sets the knife down on the chopping board, wipes his hands off on his apron. "She should be here any minute, pumpkin."
"I can't wait for her to be here." Alexis says, dipping her head a little like she's self-conscious. As if she doesn't want her father to be witness to the childlike enthusiasm at the prospect of Kate coming home. "Do you think she's looking forward to seeing me?"
This morning, Alexis had been despondent when she trudged downstairs in her pyjamas to find that Kate had already left for the precinct. All day, she's been mentioning Beckett whenever she sees the opportunity, but it's okay. Rick isn't sure about much, his whole life up in the air, but about Kate Beckett? He's certain. "I spoke to her when she had her lunch break and she said she's really excited to hang out with you this evening."
It's not a lie; his girlfriend actually did express her fondness for his daughter, and without him even needing to ask. Even without the factor of Castle's cancer, Kate is so wonderful for his daughter. Alexis' mother has never had a substantial presence in her life, so Kate's interest is something of a gift for Rick and his daughter both.
"Do you think she'll braid my hair tomorrow?" Alexis muses, the vivid fall of her hair over her shoulders shimmering as she moves.
Rick pours the chopped vegetables onto a tray to roast with the chicken and puts the whole thing in the oven, taking off his apron and coming around to sit next to his little girl. "I think you have to ask Kate for the answer to that one, honey."
"Ask me what?" A voice calls out across the loft and Castle turns to see his girlfriend stepping inside and closing the door behind herself. "Hey, you two."
"Kate!" Alexis beams, clambering down from her barstool and skidding across the hardwood in her thick socks in her haste to get to Kate. "You're home."
Alexis flings her arms around Kate's waist and buries her head underneath Beckett's chin; Kate sends a startled gaze to Rick but her arms come around his daughter all the same. Castle heads over to the two of them and folds them both into his embrace, kissing Kate tenderly as his palm skates up and down Alexis' back. "My girls."
There's no contest to that from Kate, instead the corners of her mouth lift and she nuzzles at his cheek. She's soft with him and his daughter too, palming the back of Alexis' skull to keep her close. "How was your day?"
"Good. We missed you." Rick says sotto voce, trying not to remind his daughter of how terribly she felt Kate's absence today.
Alexis untangles herself from the embrace of her parents- well, quasi. . .shit. Okay, yes, he's thinking of Kate as a parent to his daughter already. When his little girl steps back, she grins up at Beckett and grabs for Kate's hand, pulling her over to the couch. "Kate, tomorrow for school will you braid my hair?"
"Oh, your dad doesn't do a good job, huh?" Kate teases, smirking at him over Alexis' head before she returns her attention to his daughter. Alexis has her head pillowed against Kate's bicep and she's playing with Kate's fingers, her knuckles apparently fascinating.
Shrugging, his daughter draws her knees up and curls even closer to Beckett. "Daddy can do normal braids and stuff. But I want a fishtail."
"Alexis." He says firmly and she glances over at him, the knot of confusion in her brow unravelling fast.
Turning back to Kate, she glances up at the detective with her face like a pale moon and her eyes vast. "Please, Kate."
"Sure. You have such lovely hair, Alexis. I'd love to braid it for you." Kate says, carding a hand through the straight length of it and looking almost wistful.
Katie Beckett was never one to want to play hair shop or Mommies and Daddies when they were younger. And it wasn't because her best friend was him, either. It was because she was always much more taken in with climbing trees or swimming in the lake out by her family's cabin. She thrived on adventure, so to see her like this now is a little jarring.
But yeah. . .wonderful. "Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes or so, girls. Alexis honey, can you go put your homework away and wash your hands for dinner please."
His little girl scurries off upstairs with a last, longing look towards Kate. He knows she wants so badly to follow Detective Beckett around like a tiny, flame-topped shadow, but Rick needs a moment alone with his girlfriend first.
"Hey." He murmurs, coming to sit next to her on the couch and leaning in to kiss her softly. In return, he gets a slow-spreading smile and the knock of her temple into his shoulder. "How was your day?"
"Not so bad. I spoke with Captain Montgomery and he said I can have Tuesday off. And when we have a clearer idea of how much leeway I'll be needing he said to let him know." Kate says, toeing out of her heeled boots and drawing her knees up in a near-perfect mirror of his daughter moments ago.
Rick kisses the crown of her head and slides his arm around her shoulders, pleased to note that the tension just drains out of her. She really is comfortable here, in the home he so badly wants her to consider her own. "That's good. Thank you, Kate."
"S'okay." She sighs out, her eyes slipping slowly closed and her body tipping harder into his.
He chuckles into her hair, jiggling her a little and bringing his fingers up to brush her neck. "Hey, don't go to sleep baby. You gotta stay awake for dinner."
"M'awake." She huffs, sitting up and yawing widely. Rick kisses her for that, adorably rumpled as she is, and he peels himself off of the couch. She follows, tucking her fingers into the back pocket of his pants and following him through to the kitchen.
"Wine?"
"Sure." She grins, fetching two glasses from the cabinet and wheeling back around to offer them to him. Castle unscrews the bottle and pours them each a generous glass, accepting the one she holds out and taking a sip that turns into more of a gulp.
Alexis comes back down the stairs and Kate fetches her Star Wars glass, pours his daughter some apple juice without even having to ask. Alexis always has apple juice with dinner and orange with breakfast, and somehow Kate knows this. Is comfortable enough in her knowledge to act on it.
"Will you be here for breakfast tomorrow, Kate?" Castle's daughter asks as she fetches cutlery from the drawer, rounds the counter and heads toward the table to set it for dinner.
Beckett glances at him and he shrugs, squeezing her fingers and sending her a look as if to say whatever you want. Kate swallows and turns to face his daughter, managing a smile for his little girl that he can tell by the set of her shoulders she doesn't really feel. "I'll do my best. If I get a case, then no. But otherwise I should be here."
"Okay." Alexis says brightly, laying out cutlery at each place setting and coming back to collect placemats too. "Your job is super important, right? You catch bad guys."
"Uh, yes. . .I do." Kate says, startling when Alexis grabs for her hand and leads her over to the table, Castle watches with tender amusement as his little girl pulls out the chair at the head of the table and gestures for Kate to sit.
"Usually Gram sits here, but she's out tonight, so you can instead. And then you're next to me and Daddy."
It's sweet, how Alexis flits around like a little bird at Kate's ankles, but he wishes she wouldn't try quite so hard. Kate isn't a guest; Kate is at home. So they don't have to pander to her, don't have to fall over themselves to make her comfortable, because she already is.
"Alexis, pumpkin, relax would you? Kate's not going to walk out on us if we don't show her to her seat." He calls out, guilt immediately thickening in his throat at the stricken look of horror on his little girl's face.
Kate spots it too, because she reaches out to snag Alexis around the waist and draw her in for a hug, cradling his daughter's head like a newborn. "Hey, sweetheart, your dad's right. I'm not going anywhere. Just be normal, be you. Okay?"
"Okay." She flushes, pressing a smacking kiss to Kate's cheek before she slips into her own seat. Rick watches, his chest cracking open to expose the vulnerable rawness of his heart, as the two people he loves most in the world talk quietly.
And then the kitchen timer blares out and he jolts, shakes himself out of it and begins serving up dinner.