Hunter of the Shadows
Title taken from a line in Metallica's 'The Thing That Should Not Be'
Chapter 7
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Dean's grinning again and this time it's more than a little smug, but it's made worse by what appears to be tomato ketchup smeared over his chin. Looking over his shoulder reveals a different motel room. The lighting is better so it's possible to make out the green and purple swirly wall paper, which really is unfortunate. It's actually worse than one of Dean's nostril shots.
"Yeah, Sammy totally fainted like a girl." But there's a distinct gleam in his eyes. It tells the watcher Dean's memory of it isn't quite as amusing as he makes out.
"Dude, just found out I was a werewolf," Sam replies. "And my brother was now my father." He frowns a little, probably wondering about correcting his own grammar.
This time, Sam is sitting up in bed, back against the headboard, looking pale and tired. He's nibbling unenthusiastically on something that vaguely resembles a burger, and is clearly not very hungry.
Dean waves a hand.
"Whatever. You fainted.
"I seem to recall you freaking out more than once." Sam rolls his eyes and finally ditches the burger. "Dean? Please wipe your face before I hurl."
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Back to the past...
"Sam!" I darted forward, framing his face with my hands, hoping he was going to be ok in more ways than one. "Come on Sammy wake up kiddo, please."
"He'll be fine. Just one hell of a thing to come home to," Tobius said gently.
I glowered at him.
"You didn't help matters. Not exactly subtle, were ya?"
The guy just shrugged.
"Not one of my finer points at times, admittedly, but he had to be told. Sometimes the direct approach is called for. I saw no point in beating around the bush." He bowed out of the bedroom. "There are some smelling salts in the bathroom. The sooner he comes round the sooner he can eat and get his strength back."
Tobius returned in record time, holding a small, dark blue glass phial under Sam's nose. The kid stirred immediately, struggling weakly in my arms. Tobius took his leave, giving us some peace.
"Shhh, kiddo, it's alright." Smoothing a hand through his thick mop of hair and rocking him gently seemed to work, calming him down. Sam's eyes fluttered open and he gazed up at me. "Sam, you ok?"
"I... ah... not sure." His eyes narrowed slightly. "Uh... are you r-really my f-father?" he asked in a small voice, as if hoping he'd got it wrong, that this was all a big mistake and he was just dreaming.
"'Look's that way." I answered softly, and Sam started crying, silent tears rolling down his face.
And I had to admit, that hurt. Really hurt. I don't know what I was expecting but had hoped Sam would be as enthusiastic about it as I was. But then, he'd had several shocks to his system already; maybe he just needed space to come to terms with it all.
"Dad's dead?" He sobbed out loud.
"Yeah Sammy, he's dead." I instinctively tightened my hold on him, voice hardened with raw emotion. "And good riddance! That bastard nearly killed you..."
"He loved me, Dean." Sam insisted, stubbornly. "In his own way... he just couldn't cope with losing his favourite son... and he was our Dad!"
That did it; I was on my feet and grabbing hold of Sam's shirt front, shaking him hard.
"What the hell's wrong with you...?" But the fresh tears glimmering on my boy's face halted me. I was hurting him and that was unforgivable. As Tobius had pointed out more than once, Sam needed time. Releasing his shirt but reaching round and rubbing his neck, I sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, kiddo. Look, I know it's a lot to take in, but we'll help you through it ok? I'm here and this time I'm staying."
Sam sniffed loudly and nodded.
"Just... can't believe he's gone."
I was just relieved Sam trusted me.
"Yeah, I know. But ya still got me."
Sam pulled back, sniffing again.
"So... uh... how... does it work? I mean..." He shook his head helplessly, obviously not sure he wanted to know. "Do you remember much? After changing... ya know... wolfing out?"
I chuckled lightly at that. "Yeah, we ain't monsters, Sam. It doesn't work that way with our kind. We have full control and make our own choices."
"Really?" Sam stared at me hopefully.
So I explained everything and Sam listened closely, the look of relief on his young face growing with each passing minute. He still looked confused as hell, especially when I got round to covering the whole 'your big brother is now your father' topic, but he seemed genuinely fascinated and excited at the prospect of leaning all he could about wolf lore.
Some things just don't change.
My geeky son!
Sam didn't ask much about his new grandfather and I could see he was dying to know. But for Sam, there were more pressing matters.
"Does is hurt?" Sam's question caught me by surprise.
"Huh?" I shook my head lightly in bewilderment.
"Changing." His voice wavered with fear. No way was I bull-shitting my way out of this one. Kid could spot a whopper like this a mile off.
"Yeah, it does." Resting a hand on his back, I could feel him trembling. "But you get use to it. The pain don't last long, and it's really no big deal after a while Sammy."
"Is to me." Tear-filled eyes turned back my way. "I don't think I can do it, Dean. M'not sure I'm gonna be cut out for this life. Wasn't much good at hunting before..." his voice trailed off, shoulders hunched in sadness.
"Now that's crap." I gazed at him steadily. "You're still learning and John weren't all that patient; he never appreciated you for what you did for the hunt. Kid, I understand what he was doing to you long before I left, and I shoulda said something. I just didn't really see it for what it was at the time. But now you're here, you're alive... you'll be fine. And we'll be here to help you." Not knock you down at every turn.
Sam went very quiet before finally asking. "So... uh... what's he like? Tobius I mean."
I took a deep breath.
"He's a scary stubborn bastard, domineering; irritating as hell, old fashioned in many ways and when I first met him I hated his guts."
Sam gulped loudly.
"But he's also a kind, generous, caring and considerate father," That took me by surprise. Never thought I'd hear myself say that about anyone much less a werewolf, but even as the words tumbled out of my mouth I knew I wasn't just saying it to reassure Sam. I meant every word. "He gives his heart easy, loves you already and he can't wait to start really being your grandfather." I raised an eyebrow at the show of interest in the kid's eyes. "Ya know he's at least eight hundred years old? Remembers the crusades and all, and he don't mind talking about it."
"Really?" Sam's eyes were glowing again, this time with excitement and I was relieved to take his mind off thoughts of his first change. Sam being the sensitive soul, this was gonna hit him hard if the incident in the kitchen was anything to go by.
"Really." Ruffling his hair gently, I helped him out of bed. He only had on blue sweats and a thin shirt, the same clothes I redressed him in the night before, so I pulled a soft dark sweat shirt out of a drawer and draped it over his head, laughing as he stood there shaking himself free. "Put that on runt. Stay warm." He might be a werewolf but he was still young and undernourished; I wasn't taking any chances.
"Thanks De... uh, Dad?" Sam stared at the carpet shyly, shifting nervously. And I realised just how hard this was for him when he cried out softly "I don't know what to call you anymore!"
"Hey!" I tilted his chin up. "I'm still Dean, still the same person. You don't have to call me that ya know. I don't call Tobius that."
Sam looked at me gratefully.
"I'm just not ready... sorry Dean."
I nodded in understanding. I've never called Tobius 'Dad'. On occasion I called him Sire or Father, but mostly just referred to him by his given name. Guess I should have taken that into account with Sammy.
"S'ok." I slung an arm round his thin shoulders. "C'mon. Let's go see what Tobius came up with in the kitchen." And smiled when Sam nodded enthusiastically.
The smell of fine steaks cooking in garlic oil was already wafting throughout the apartment, and when we got to the kitchen we were both in for a surprise. Tobius was humming away merrily to Mozart's The Magic Flute, his background music of choice for the evening, whilst gracefully whirling round sautéing, frying, mashing and steaming.
Yeah Tobius is a big fan of Mozart...
"A pure, musical genius through and through," Tobius had once described him, paused then added "of course the man himself was an irritating little tit..."
Worried that Sam would be scared or overwhelmed, I understood why we were eating in the rooms tonight, but he could have just ordered up from the hotel restaurant... I started grinning from ear to ear.
Oh yeah! Grandpa was showing off for his grandson.
Sam looked completely bewildered by all the food preparations, but even more so when the food itself was served. Minute steak with cheddar mash, carrots and green beans, fresh bread all washed down with red wine.
"Uh... I'm underage." Sam glanced up apologetically when Tobius poured him a generous glass of Shiraz.
"Not here you aren't. Alcohol doesn't affect us in the same way as humans." Tobius smiled kindly, then stood back and studied the kid's face. Sam looked a little pale, his eyes wide as he stared at his food, making no move to touch it. "When was the last time you ate properly? Apart from the other night when you were sick?"
I put down my knife and fork, waiting as Sam licked his lips nervously before answering.
"Dad, I mean John, was more into the liquid diet." He stared at his wineglass almost fearfully. "So I guess maybe a week before you guys showed." Sam shrugged as he thought about that. "Chips and candy bars's pretty much all I ever got to eat since Dean... left, and only when John was sober enough to remember."
"Sonfobitch!" I muttered angrily.
Dean! Tobius' mind hissed at me in warning. Calm yourself for Sam's sake. He's been frightened enough as it is!
Blowing out a breath, I nodded my assent.
It explained why Sam was so worried about alcoholic beverages; John hadn't exactly set a great example of responsible drinking and Sam obviously feared ending up the same way.
"In moderation, red wine is great for the heart and circulatory system, Sam. Just sip and savour." Tobius patted Sam on the shoulder. "Now eat up before it gets cold. You need plenty of protein and carbohydrate to build yourself up."
But Sam was looking at us both strangely.
"What was that?"
We both realised what he meant but I waved it off.
"One of the perks of being a werewolf. I'll explain later, now eat!"
Sam picked up his knife and fork, eyes flickering eagerly round his plate as if wondering what to start on first, then dug straight in. This time his progress was sedate but I could still sense the underlying edge of hunger as he loaded his fork with a piece of steak and mash, then chewed heartily, eyes closed in bliss. He reminded me of a much younger Sam at that moment, and I nearly forgot my own food until Tobius gently tapped my foot under the table, a silent warning not to stare. But it was hard not to.
Sam cleared his plate, sipped through one glass of wine, then leaned back in his chair, eyes sleepy with contentment.
"That was great... uh... Tobius." Sam announced a little hesitantly, obviously still unsure about his new status, then whispered. "Thank you."
Tobius smiled.
You're welcome pup.
Sam's eyes widened.
"There it goes again!"
I nodded.
"Yeah, you've experienced it before, though you were real sick at the time." I couldn't help grinning at the wondrous expression on the kid's face. "You'd just been turned..."
Sammy...
He sat up straight in his seat, gaze swivelling between the two of us.
"What? You guys read can read each other's thoughts?" Sam looked a little horrified at that.
I resisted the urge to laugh. Sam was a young teenager and yeah, some of his thoughts were probably a little embarrassing; I was quick to reassure him again.
"S'not really like that. We can hold a conversation in silence, sure, but it's not so invasive." I glanced at Tobius for back up.
"Exactly," the elder werewolf explained. "It's more a willing thought projection, rather than stealing into each other's minds and taking what we want."
"Soooo, it's voluntary?" Sam looked a little relieved when we both nodded again in confirmation. He sucked on his bottom lip and I waited for the next question with fond amusement, "C-can I try it?"
"Of course. Go ahead, we're listening." Tobius sat back and took a sip of wine.
Sam appeared to concentrate hard, eyes closed, brows pulled down into a frown.
Not sure this is gonna work...
I grinned broadly.
Wanna bet kiddo?
Sam jumped in his seat, eyes snapping open.
"Holy shit! I did it! I mean... we communicated with our minds!"
"And that's not all," I said patting his shoulder. "Remember all that stuff you found on the internet?"
And we didn't believe you. Sorry, kid.
"Uhuh." Sam smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "About enhanced sense of smell, hearing and sight, and the whole immortality thing?"
I crossed my arms smugly.
"All true Sammy."
See what I meant about Dad not appreciating what you did for the hunt? Your research is second to none!
Sam blushed shyly as usual. He never did take compliments well.
"About that immortality trait," Tobius leaned in, frowning with concern. "Yes, we have the potential to live forever mainly because we are not affected by the passage of time, but contrary to what else you may have read, that does not make us indestructible. Tough, hard to kill yes, but not invulnerable." He pulled on a pair of leather gloves then turned his back for a second. The soft snick of a drawer opening and closing could be heard before he turned back to us again. He held something out in his gloved hand. It was small, metallic and squashed. I recognised it immediately. "This is the bullet I pulled out of you Sam. Would you like to touch it?"
You can't be serious! Tobius are you crazy? I fumed madly, forgetting Sam could hear us, and was glancing between us now a little warily.
Tobius merely stared at Sam. I knew the guy was all for an up front education, believed in the hands-on approach but this?
Sammy don't!
Before I could stop him, Sam reached over and let his fingers touch the metal, pulling away and hissing in pain at first contact. He started sucking on his fingers and muttering some pretty impressive profanities, but after a few seconds he looked up with watery eyes and nodded.
"I get it," Sam murmured sadly, "Silver, right?"
Tobius dropped the offending item back into the drawer then crouched by the boy's chair with a gentle smile.
"Nicely deduced son." He appeared to search Sam's face intently. "What you did for Dean was both brave and selfless, and nearly cost you your life. Would have without a doubt if not for his stubborn nature. He insisted on turning you. I admit that I was against it, didn't believe it would work. But it has." Tobius' voice lowered softly. "And I am pleased to make your acquaintance."
Now I understood the little lesson. It was the equivalent of telling a child to stay away from the heater, but when the child decides to find out for itself they soon learn to pay heed to a parental warning. A little extreme but effective, it has to be said, and Sam certainly got the message.
But, to Sam's distress that wasn't all he learned.
Tobius got to his feet.
"Silver not only holds the potential to kill instantly by a bullet or blade to the heart, but it can make us very sick by just a simple stab wound or cut. If the source of the silver is removed..."
Sam interrupted. "We recover quickly, but if not then it slowly paralyses us until it reaches the heart."
Tobius looked approvingly at his newest student, but I could tell what Sam was going through. He was finally realising the consequences of John's actions the night he was shot, as if getting a bullet in the chest wasn't a big enough epiphany for the kid. But I could see it on his face; it was me he was thinking of.
Sam turned to stare at me, fear and remorse darkening his eyes.
"He really was gonna do it, wasn't he?" He whispered. "John, I mean? He was gonna kill you, without explanation or anything."
If he wasn't so convinced before, he sure was now, and I never saw him cry over John Winchester again.
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Sam seemed to relax a little after the meal. We sat round the open log fire in the living room, Tobius in his armchair smoking a cigar, Sam and I huddled up on the soft carpet, our backs against the sofa.
The ancient werewolf recounted tales of long ago. He once met Mozart in Prague, October 1787, the opening night of Don Giovanni. He narrowly avoided being beheaded during the English Civil War, dramatically escaped The Great Fire Of London... his memories jumped back and forth across history in answer to Sam's endless questions, and he did it gladly. Something John hadn't been too keen on.
But Tobius knew what he was doing and understood Sam's mission: to test him, catch him out, compare all his new grandfather told him with everything he'd ever read, even learning some new facts that hadn't yet been noted in the history books.
Tobius spoke of hunts through the years, the danger, the adrenaline, the fear - not just of getting hurt by the prey, but of getting caught by humans. Hunters were a particular problem; I had to agree they were a single-minded bunch, and John was no exception. Anything supernatural was evil, with little or no grey areas in between. It would never occur to them that our kind were there to help, not hinder, and the silver bullets would start flying the minute they laid eyes on us.
Sam listened, looking a little worried when Tobius, with his usual tact and diplomacy, embarked on the sensitive subject of Sam's first change.
"The sooner the better, for your safety and ours."
He warned the boy of the cults that would seek his purity for sacrifice and the human hunters that would use him as bait to trap his family
Sam dropped his gaze and stared at the floor. I could feel his anxiety and wished I could make it all easier on him; but there was nothing I could do. He had to face this alone.
Well, sort of.
"Hey! S'alright kiddo. We'll be there to see you through it, ok?" I nudged him with my elbow but Sam didn't look up, and didn't say a word.
Tobius and I exchanged worried glances.
"Sam?" Tobius leaned forward in his armchair and gently tilted Sam's chin so he met his eyes. "He's right. We'll be there to coach you, help you control the pain... and I can't lie on that score, it wouldn't be fair to you. It will be painful Sam, but trust me when I say it's more than worth it. And it will soon fade."
Sam looked at me, seeking reassurance and I smiled back at him. The kid nodded slowly, beginning to tremble.
"Ok." He whispered. "When? Should we do this now?"
He sounded so scared and miserable that even Tobius didn't have the heart to push.
"We're having a nice, relaxing evening by the fire after a long day." The older werewolf responded kindly. "How about tomorrow? I know somewhere secluded and safe." He winked at me.
I knew the place. He'd taken me there a few times. It was our place of meditation and contemplation, a bolt hole whenever we needed to stay away from civilisation. And there are many reasons for needing the time out. No offence guys, but spending time around you humans? It can get pretty stifling. It's a measure of just how suffocating it is that someone like me needs to meditate from time to time. I mean me, meditating? Can you imagine that?
You people have so many laws and rules with no breathing space in between to actually live. Even when I was human I found it hard enough, but now? It's like living in a goldfish bowl, where no one's allowed to have their secrets without coming under the spotlight. Where everybody knows everybody else's business. Where being a private person is viewed with high suspicion.
If I didn't get to change and run free under the night sky several times a week I'd go nuts. So as much as we'll protect you, willingly be your guardians, you can keep your goldfish bowl of a world and good luck to you.
In the meantime, I'll make like Yoda to keep my sanity, thank you very much.
Sam nodded hesitantly and I slung an arm round his shoulders.
"You'll like it there Sammy. Plenty of grass, trees and all that shit. Oh, and a small river. Great for fishing!"
Sam turned to me, staring in disbelief.
"You? Go fishing?" He blinked with suspicion. "Dean, you don't even like camping! You once said you'd never go five minutes from anywhere you couldn't get a cheeseburger and a beer! Not to mention a decent cra... er... rest room." His eyes flickered to Tobius very briefly, face turning red at the near slip of the tongue.
I shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious.
"A man can change dude!"
"As it turns out, Dean is quite the fisherman." Tobius interjected, sounding rather amused.
I blushed at that and scratched at the back of my head.
"I'm not sure I could be called a fisherman, per se, if I don't use a rod and line."
"How do you catch fish then?" asked Sam, eyes wide with curiosity.
I bit my lip, not sure this was gonna come out well.
"Uh... does it count as a technique when it's called: 'take flying leap into water and keep jaw open?'"
Whereupon, Sam snorted.
"Don't tell me, you just wait for the fish to get trapped in your big ol' mouth!"
Tobius roared with laughter.
"Now you know why he's so successful! It's like watching a large vacuum cleaner at work!"
"Hey!" I pouted with mock-indignation and the other two laughed all the harder. "Not my fault I'm a fast swimmer!"
Evening soon turned to full on night, the fire beginning to die down. Sam, having fallen asleep an hour ago, drooled on my shoulder but I didn't mind. I was still remembering all too well those six months without him, followed by those terrible moments when he nearly died. John's face popped into my head more than once that evening and I banished him with a silent growl.
Sam's finally gotta father who'll care about him, who'll be proud of him.
Tobius glanced over with an amused but affectionate smile, and Sam muttered and stirred in his sleep. I winced, knowing somehow he'd heard me but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.
"I think I'd better get this one into a proper bed." I announced. Gently scooping Sam up into my arms, I nodded to Tobius. "See you in the morning. For the next phase!" I whispered with a grin.
"Goodnight son. Get plenty of rest." He nodded back. "You're going to need it."
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Author's notes:
Dean and Tobius really have their work cut out for them. And poor Sam is really not looking forward to the big change.
Hope you guys aren't too bored and I'll see you again soon with the next chapter.
Fic rec: Any LimpSam fans out there should check out Danrac's great fic 'Kerry's Awake'. I've really been enjoying it.
Kind regards,
ST xxx