Chapter 17- This is Awkward…
I didn't go back to McCoy's room that night. I could handle hanging out and sharing a drink and some laughs, but I drew the line at a sleepover. I knew he was no predator, his southern sensibilities wouldn't allow him to make any inappropriate overtures no matter how much he had to drink, so it wasn't exactly an issue of safety. It was just too creepy, plain and simple. The only other person that would be equally unnerving and paradoxically even less of a threat would be Spock. So, I went to deck 5 to sleep on one of the empty biobeds and instructed the night nurse to wake me before my shift.
The next morning I was drinking my usual morning coffee in the office when McCoy came down. "Didn't come home last night." He frowned. "You could be a little more discreet if you are stepping out on me."
"Jealous much?" I asked with a smile.
He plopped down in his chair with a sigh. "I don't mind sharing, darlin', all I ask is that I not get sloppy seconds."
I took a sip of my coffee and squinted when it scalded my mouth. "You'll take what I give you and you will like it." I replied mocking his trademark scowl.
"Better than nothing, I guess." He muttered reading the notes from his night staff on his PADD. "Well, the worst is over now. We should be reaching the next Starbase late today, so you will get your room back. You can stop avoiding me already."
I recognized it for what it was, a very subtle attempt to make me feel guilty but I wasn't about to take the bait. "I am not avoiding you and I won't apologize for feeling uncomfortable in a man's room, even if he is playing house with me."
He gave me a prolonged glance that clearly emphasized that I should feel guilty since he had tried his damndest to make me comfortable, more than he would have done for anyone else. If I was still leery of him it was my own damned fault. He looked back to his PADD and furrowed his brow. "What the fuck, Jim?" He mumbled as though the machine could answer for him. He looked up at me, his muddy green eyes narrowed. "Looks like you are in for a very long day."
"Please," I scoffed rolling my eyes, "I already did psych evals for everyone on the ship. What else could he possibly throw at me?"
"How about a marathon of vaccinations?" McCoy hummed looking displeased. "He wants me to give you a full workup and update your vaccinations. Given that you are from the early 21rst century, you probably have around…what….5 maybe?"
I thought about it. "MMR, tetanus, hepatitis B, polio. I have had chickenpox, and I tested negative for tuberculosis and HIV about 6 months before I came. I think that was about it."
"What the hell is an MMR?" He asked puzzled. "I have never heard of that."
"Mumps, measles, rubella." I answered. "It was one combined shot."
"Huh." He huffed. "Well we don't have those anymore, except tetanus and hep B and even those cases are few and far between. Saddle up and let's get this show on the road." He commanded.
"Can I finish my coffee?" I begged. It was part of my morning ritual and my whole day would be thrown off if I didn't get it.
"Might as well." He agreed standing from his desk to prep for the fun that lie ahead. "I will need a urine sample eventually."
"Joy." I sighed into my cup. Why didn't Jim find it necessary to mention this last night? I would have appreciated a little lead time to get psychologically prepared for a full on medical assault from McCoy no less. With all of the revenge games that seemed to be going on, I wondered if this was Jim's first shot across the bow at me for maybe making him uncomfortable, but it just didn't seem his style to hold a grudge or be vindictive. I finished my coffee and bravely went forth to face my doom.
When McCoy said a full workup, that is exactly what he meant. Over the next couple of hours I was poked, prodded, invaded, scanned, and flip turned every which way but inside out while McCoy made meticulous notes and frequent ill tempered observations about the barbaric state of medicine in the 21rst century when he observed surgical scars on my knee. He was even more horrified when a scan revealed the presence of an implant consisting of titanium plates and screws used to repair it after a car accident left it heavily damaged. "What the hell is this?" He pondered as he held the transparent scan up to an overhead light so he could better see it. "Is that hardware?! For fuck's sake, you use that to repair hinges on doors, not inside a body!" He fumed. "Christ, I am afraid to scan your skull. I will probably find a hole where they tried trepanning you to release demons or something."
"It is amazing we lived at all." I mused.
"Tell me about it. I couldn't believe in my medical history class when I learned that it was common practice to take organs from dead people and put them into the living like Scotty would swap out parts in a warp core engine. It was all fucking voodoo and witch doctors back then." He said with a mistrustful glare.
"And yet it seemed to work remarkably well." I countered.
He huffed indignantly as he looked over the lab results on his clipboard. "I think you will want to be out for this next part." He warned. "I wouldn't even wish this shit on Jim."
He must have been talking about the vaccinations. "How many?" I squeaked.
He scanned the page he was on and then flipped to the next. "Somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 or so." I couldn't mask the horror on my face. "Hey, the universe is a big place full of strange and exotic diseases just waiting to kill you." He shrugged. "And those are just the ones we know about." I involuntarily flinched when he raised the hypo to my arm. "Hold still," he grumbled, "this won't hurt a bit." I was out before I could say 'bullshit'.
I was a little groggy when I woke up and my arms and thighs felt like I was stung by a swarm of bees. I groaned when I tried to move and soon McCoy floated into my field of vision. "Welcome back." He muttered still reading his clipboard. "See, that wasn't so bad. I will give you some light pain medicine to help with the discomfort." He reloaded the hypo and I shied away out of habit. "Hold still, dammit!" He growled. I heard the hiss of the gun, but felt only the slightest sensation of pressure.
"How did you do that?!" I asked wide eyed looking at the injection site.
"Pull the trigger." He said sarcastically. "A trained monkey can do it for Christ sake."
"But it didn't hurt!" I protested. "It always hurts!"
"Yeah, well there is an art to it." He begrudgingly admitted tossing the gun back onto the cart. "But I can't do it if you are squirming around like a cat being held by the tail." He pulled up a stool and sat by the bed and resumed looking over his clipboard.
"Have you ever done that for Jim?" I asked half laughing at his deception. "He almost has a phobia of the hypo."
"Fuck Jim." He said quietly putting the clipboard down. "I suppose in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you that you had a gynecological exam while you were out. I thought you might prefer it that way." My face went ashen pale and he rolled his eyes. "I didn't do it, I just knew you would have a fucking fit over that even though I am a professional and yours would be far from the first I have ever seen. But hell, if you couldn't even hack sleeping in my bed there was no way in hell you would be kosher with me seeing your business." He sighed in exasperation. "I had one of the female interns do it. Why didn't you tell me you were taking birth control?"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "I guess it just never came up in conversation."
"Well it should have." He said emphatically. "It looks like you were taking a hormone derivative of progestin. The levels are almost normal which suggests it has nearly worn off. Look, it is nothing to be embarrassed about; most women on the ship choose to plan their pregnancies carefully because of their careers. It is no big deal. Would I be right if I guessed that you were in your late twenties or early thirties?"
"More right field than left, yes." I admitted. Didn't he know it was impolite to ask a woman her age?
"Then I do have to tell you that your clock is starting to wind down. The longer you wait to have children the higher the risk of complications, but it is entirely up to you. Looking at the results of your exam it doesn't seem like you have ever had children." He picked up the clipboard and scowled at it.
I looked at him and he was in full medical mode which I found reassuring. This really was just business for him no matter how awkward I felt about this conversation. I had to be brave in the event that the tables would someday be turned and it was he who was getting an intimate exam from me over some psychological crisis. It still seemed grossly unfair that I had to go first, though.
"I haven't," I confirmed, "and I don't want to."
He seemed caught off guard. "Ever?" He clarified slightly raising his eyebrows. "I mean, it really is none of my business if that is what you have decided." He mumbled hastily to the clipboard. "But if that is what you want, I can make that happen."
"That is what I want." I said with great certainty.
He solemnly nodded and left to retrieve another vial to shoot me with. Just as before he made it painless and I was grateful. "It is more or less a very long acting version of what you were taking." He explained. "Each shot lasts around 5 years, but it is completely reversible if you change your mind."
"I doubt I will." I muttered. "So why the exam? Why is Jim making us do this?"
His eyes grew dark and his voice was dangerously low. "He wants to get you ready for an away team. I think it is one of the worst goddamn ideas he has ever had, but of course he is too pigheaded to listen to me."
I considered his answer for a moment, but was confused. "What is an away team? Away to where?"
"Where the fuck ever." He replied darkly. "Usually the surface of a new planet, but we never know what the hell we will run into down there and that is why it is fucking stupid to put you in that situation. You are not trained in any way to protect yourself, but he seems to think that it is a stroke of fucking brilliance." He hung his head and seemed more sad than angry. "I am telling you it is a goddamn travesty waiting to happen. That is why I never go unless I absolutely fucking have to."
"Why would Jim want to put me in such a dangerous position?" I pondered. "He must have a logical reason."
"Spock he is fucking not." He spat bitterly. "I mean he is smart as hell, but sometimes he just impulsively jumps into things without thinking. He said he thought you might like to get off the ship once in awhile, but believe me you are far safer up here and this is where you belong."
There was something in his tone that betrayed him and it caught my attention immediately. I could understand his apprehension because I felt it too, but it seemed his concern overreached the simple preservation of my health. In the end I chose to pretend not to notice because I couldn't rule out the possibility that I had misinterpreted his meaning, but the small nagging voice in the back of my head couldn't let it go. It wasn't often that voice was wrong and that was what worried me most…