Sasori, once again, woke up to large, white eyes in his face. Lovely, so the little runts had found him again. How the hell was he still alive after a second Bijuu attack? Third, actually, now that he thought about it a bit. He wasn't really immortal, he knew that. But unless some god--Jashin or Pein or some other self-righteous deity--was perpetually smiling on him, Sasori didn't know what to make of it.

He just decided to chalk it up to carelessness and stupidity on the Bijuu's part. After all, they ought to have known that they could not drown, suffocate or crush him. (Crush, technically yes, but they had been going about it all wrong.) Sasori wouldn't let himself get in that situation again.

Deidara was out there. Apparently safe from the Bijuu…for now. He would have to reunite with his partner, then. Sasori would have to stay alive until then, and that would require not rushing into things headlong like an overexcited genin.

Speaking of genin…

"How do you keep on finding me?" Sasori snarled, turning to level a glare in the black-haired one's direction.

"With the Bijuu howling like savage dogs in your area? And your hair color? It wasn't that hard," the boy replied flippantly. "And this time, you're not getting away, either."

Sasori rolled his eyes. Oh, great. Now he was getting threatened by a couple of genin. What ever could he possibly do to combat this danger? Again, he jumped to his feet, and again nearly hit Hitomi. Not like he cared. They hadn't even bothered tying his feet, for god's sake! What was Kirigakure teaching their genin…?! "I already told you, and this will be the last time I say it civilly. Stay the hell away from me, you brats." Those were his departing words as he jumped up into a tree and disappeared.

Unlike last time, none of them moved in the slightest to pursue him.

The answer soon became apparent. Sasori hadn't made it a hundred meters before he suddenly felt incredibly dizzy and missed a jump, falling onto the grass below. His mind was screaming at him to vomit, even if his body hadn't done any such thing for decades now. "What…the hell…"

Five minutes later--they were sure taking their time now, weren't they?--the trio of brats caught up with him again.

They just stood around him; the boys' arms were crossed. Hitomi fidgeted in her kimono. Sasori was face-down on the ground, and it seemed like a gargantuan feat to just move his head to where he could glare at one of them. It turned out to be the evil-looking black-haired one. He tried to move his arms, but they felt like lead. So Sasori returned to merely glaring at the black-haired genin, hoping that he'd keel over just from the intensity of it.

Then Sasori noticed the syringe in his hand.

"Oh, yes, we know what you are, Sasori-san," the boy said loudly, tilting his chin back. Sasori snarled mutely at him. "No wonder you look like a kid."

"You--"

Seishirou kicked him rudely in the back of the head. "Shut up, we're the ones talking here." It seemed as if he inherited Konan's temper and view on conversation.

Sasori didn't miss the look the black-haired one shot him. He might have to use that against them later, if there was dissention in the ranks already… But more importantly, he couldn't help thinking about how stupid he'd been this past week. It was his own fault for most of it, he knew, but he couldn't help but vindictively blame Deidara. After all, it was his partner who'd gotten kidnapped and took Sasori's logic and usual thinking processes along with him.

So these kids know? As if; they won't know what to do with the information, thank god, he thought dryly, glaring up at the black-haired one. But…that doesn't explain…

The black-haired one--Sasori made a mental note to find out the brat's name--knelt down and placed a hand on Sasori's head, ruffling his hair. He couldn't help but scowl; only Deidara could do that without getting a hand broken for his effort. If only he could have moved, this kid would have been on the ground, bleeding, by now. Regardless of the sudden killer intent, the black-haired genin waved a nearly-empty syringe in front of Sasori's brown eyes. A few yellow-orange drops clung to the bottom of it, one of them dripping out of the needle.

Then Sasori realized what these kids had done.

"Before you start shouting," the black-haired one said flatly, tapping the needle against the Akatsuki member's temple, "Let us explain."

"We need information." Hitomi spoke up for the first time, not looking at him. She raised a hand, letting the overly large sleeve slip down to her elbow, and then shrugged off her backpack, rummaging in in for a few moments. She withdrew a photograph.

He sat up, making sure they all knew full well that he was mobile once more, even if he was still tied up. Sasori kept his emotionless mask in place as he looked at the item Hitomi was holding out. It was a photograph. The one Hinata had snapped of Seishirou pulling on his hair. Sasori didn't fail to notice that she had several more in her other hand.

He stood up, sighing. The black-haired kid also stood up, tapping the syringe against his wrist. Sasori looked at all three of the idiotic children, amazed at their unadulterated stupidity. "…You are all idiots," he told them without preamble. Might as well let them know how much he thought of them right then. "You have managed to temporarily drug an Akatsuki member--which, before you, had never happened before--and now you haven't even made the connection."

Sasori himself was even a bit surprised at this, but he allowed himself the luxury of thinking he'd overestimated them all. They had not only figured out what his body was made of, but how to work around that in order to drug him. He had vaguely made theories about such a thing, but, of course, he had never bothered testing any of them. His human heart was still biological and living; it could still be drugged. He supposed he was just lucky they had used a small amount of his own poison in order to take him out. Any larger dose and he probably would have died. He made a note to keep any extra poisons on his body more carefully concealed from now on.

The redhead jumped up into the nearest tree, twitching his fingers to make the blades come out of his shoulders. They cut through the rope binding him effortlessly. He then stood up, and pointed down at the children. "You're lucky I don't kill you all right now."

"You're too arrogant to. You hate the fact that we beat your little wooden body and want to kill us badly, but you won't allow yourself to, because then you'll only drive home the point that a couple of kids beat you," the black-haired one replied with a smirk.

Sasori decided he didn't like him anymore. "Why are you even here? You're just a pathetic little genin without even the dignity of noble roots like those two brats," he hissed, narrowing his eyes.

He just held up the syringe. "I still beat you, Sasori-san."

"We still need answers," Hitomi spoke up forcefully, sparing him a disdainful look. "Sasori is the only one who can supply them."

"Yeah, he is. So time for a Q & A!" Seishirou plucked a photo at random from her hands, and showed Sasori, after sparing it a glance. "This is a photograph of my--our--parents. You, that blonde, and…and Kisho and a bird."

"Yes, it is. His name is Deidara."

"I know that!" he spat, bristling. Sasori raised an eyebrow, wondering if he should use this temper problem against him. "But what the hell does it mean?!"

"Deidara and Hinata-hime were best friends," Sasori replied dryly, looking up at the sun filtering through the leaves. It was better than watching a kid make a fool out of himself. "Neji and I…got along, for the most part. I don't think he ever forgave me for the tournament, however…"

"They were not part of the Akatsuki?" Hitomi asked. Her voice was soft, but none of them missed the anxiety in it.

"At one point, I think your mother might have made it in…" Sasori left off for a moment, closing his eyes. Actually, several times Hinata might have gotten in, purely because she worked well with Deidara and he would vouch for her. Unfortunately, that stupid blonde seemed to have problems letting Sasori go off and merrily kill himself. "But neither of them were official members."

Hitomi sighed in relief, smiling weakly. Sasori couldn't help but laugh at her. He remembered a time when anyone--Midori came to mind--would have given their left arm to get into the Akatsuki. And now, a generation later, these kids were glad their parents hadn't made the cut. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. "But… You and Deidara were both still their friends. What of the rest of the Akatsuki?"

"What about them?" he asked innocently. He didn't know how much these kids knew, so it wouldn't hurt to try to glean a bit of information from then before he gave any in return.

Hitomi pulled out another photograph, showing it to him. "Who is this member?" It was the picture of Itachi holding Kisho.

"Uchiha Itachi. You may know of him as Kisame's partner?"

"So Kisho belonged to an Akatsuki member previously… Does Itachi have to specifically summon him again, or could any summoner?"

"Any cat summoner. But Itachi is dead."

"We never got a list of the dead Akatsuki-nin. The academy teachers were vague on that," Seishirou said flatly. "Who all is dead?"

He had seen this question coming. Sasori smirked, wondering what kind of reaction he'd get. "Itachi, Kisame, Tobi, Leader-sama and Konan are all deceased." There was no flicker of recognition in the ginger-haired genin's eyes. Pity; he had been looking forward to some sort of outburst he could use as a cover to escape. He hung his head in disappointment. "Half the organization."

"And they were all killed by the Bijuu?" asked Hitomi.

"No--Itachi was killed by his younger brother, Sasuke."

"Your partner. Deidara. You say he was kidnapped by the Bijuu?" Seishirou demanded. He raised his eyes to glare at the Akatsuki member in the tree, accusingly. "Why would the Bijuu capture him alive? You make it sound as if they're pretty excited about picking off the rest of the Akatsuki."

"They are. But they captured him to use as their new body, of course."

This was something new to the kids. Sasori rolled his eyes again, exhaling loudly. "Before the last Great Shinobi War and the Bijuu catastrophe, the demons were sealed inside people called Jinchuuriki. Sealed from birth, so that their power supposedly would meld into their hosts' chakra and they would die along with their host. …Needless to say, the Akatsuki screwed up that plan quite well," he recited blandly.

"To say the least," Ryo growled in agreement. "So these Bijuu aren't out for revenge--?"

"Revenge in the best possible way. To take the remaining Akatsuki members for their new bodies, their new weapons. That's how the Bijuu view human hosts." Sasori smiled thinly. "And now, because of that horrible Kirigakure incident, they may very well have three bodies to use."

"Deidara…" Hitomi said, counting off on her fingers. "And…" She couldn't finish.

"Your mother and Hidan," Sasori supplied. She nodded gravely.

"What about father?" she asked faintly. "Where is he, then…?"

Sasori looked thoughtful. "…If I would have to guess, I'd say farther than we are right now. He's about as fast as an Akatsuki-nin, and generally uses his head more than one, too."

"Does he even stand a chance against them? I mean, you were beaten into the ground twice by them and you're wood." Ryo gestured at the redhead. Hitomi gave a small sniff, fidgeting again.

"He's not stupid enough to go rushing in headfirst."

"Like you?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I should kill you," he said simply. "I've been kind enough to disillusion you all this far, but I don't see why that sympathy should last any longer." Sasori raised his arm, palm out towards the three below him. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you all right now. Surely it would be considered a mercy killing; you all won't last another week out here on your own."

None of them looked at each other, because it was obvious that he was serious. Seishirou and Ryo were having a glaring contest with the Akatsuki member, whereas Hitomi was ignoring the general tension of the situation and was rummaging around in her backpack. After several minutes of awkward, edgy silence, she withdrew the stuffed chicken Seishirou had given to her for her first birthday. She held it out to Sasori. "Deidara gave this to Seishirou when he was a child. That means that he cared about Seishirou, and would you like to upset him by murdering the child he cares about?"

The details were a bit warped, but in essence, she had it right. Sasori reluctantly lowered his arm. It wasn't as if he was getting soft, and it wasn't as if he minded killing defenseless children. He just hated the idea of doing something like that against Deidara. Or even Hinata. It wasn't even that; he just didn't like the idea of killing the last remnants of the old Akatsuki.

-.-.-

One Week Later…

"Will you stop following me?"

"Why are you slowing down enough for us to follow you then?" Ryo challenged. Sasori rolled his eyes, swinging down from the branch he'd just landed on. He turned to face them, arms crossed. Ryo glared defiantly back, daring him to contradict him.

Seishirou just folded his hands behind his head, looking up at the sky through the leaves. Those two had gotten into the habit of acting like that. He had a feeling that Sasori hadn't killed Ryo yet because he needed to argue with someone; maybe he was filling the role of Deidara or some other lost friend of his. And Ryo? He just liked arguing with people.

Lately, Sasori had been on edge. It was obvious to even Hitomi, which meant that it was probably serious. But whenever he was questioned about it, the Akatsuki member would viciously say that it was nothing, and probably aim some sort of attack at them. The upside was that they were all very good at dodging high-speed attacks now.

"There's a village up ahead. You kids can just wait there."

"Wait? For what? You to go get your ass handed to you again by the Bijuu?"

Hitomi grumpily sighed, trying to ignore the argument. Seishirou felt a stab of pity for his sister; she was faring the worst. She wasn't used to traveling this fast, nor was she used to surviving off of the land like a ninja. Moreover, he knew what kind of care she normally had for her hair and clothes. Now, she just looked…rumpled. That was the kindest word for it.

"Reconnaissance, you ignorant genin! You think I can find anything with you three tramping in the forest behind me, alerting everything in a kilometer radius?!" Sasori snarled. He and Ryo were now inches apart, barely short of shouting in each other's faces.

"You're tracking the Bijuu! They're days ahead of us and they wouldn't even notice--"

"He is also keeping an eye out for Kakuzu," Hitomi said in a clipped tone. "We may have come quite far, but he is unsure of where he could be."

Sasori bit off a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "You stupid genin are staying at this village. Get some food and for god's sake bathe. I've never been more glad that I don't have a sense of smell anymore."

With that order, Sasori had just become a hero in Hitomi's eyes.

-.-.-

"What is this place, yeah…?" Deidara pulled off his hood, peering around the edge of the rock. They were in Iwa territory (or what had been Iwa territory), but this was a place he was unfamiliar with. It almost seemed like a natural castle.

Except for the fact that it was crawling with demons.

Deidara had had to put all of his stealth skills to the test to even make it this far. And he was still a good half kilometer from the structure itself. The Hachibi was pacing outside of what seemed like the main entrance, grumbling to itself. The Yonbi was perched on the top of it, curled up and apparently napping. An hour earlier, he had seen the Sanbi and Nibi--Hidan and Hinata with them--disappear inside.

So this is their hideout, he noted, zooming in with the scope on his eye. …Interesting pick. I wonder what it's like inside… And, of course, with his insatiable curiosity and drive to rescue Hinata, Deidara knew he was getting in that building that night. He just had to wait for the opportune moment.

-.-.-

Inside the vast, fort-like building, Hidan and Hinata had been thrown unceremoniously into a holding cell. Which puzzled her; sure, they were all-powerful demons, but how could they have honestly had the foresight to make jail cells for humans?

"Oh my fucking Jashin. Jashin-sama, oh shit, they didn't!" Hidan jumped back up to his feet, looking around him wildly.

Hinata regarded him flatly. Was the shock of his capture only now setting in? "What are you going on about…?" she asked wearily as he continued his rant. She only did it to get him to stop swearing and repeating himself. Mostly, she just wanted to hope her children were okay…

"This was a fuckin' Akatsuki base! How dare those heathen shitheads use this place of all places!" he roared, grabbing the cell's bars and yanking hard on them. They didn't budge.

Hinata looked around the cell wonderingly. Well, that would explain part of the mystery. And it came with a bit of irony, too. "But…your first base was located in Ame."

"Bullshit it was. We moved bases, like, every month or something before the fag joined up and we captured Amegakure. This was one of them farther west. The one right before he joined, in fact. First one I ever visited."

"So then, can you get out of here?"

Hidan turned on her. "Are you kidding me?! Kakuzu would throw me in here like every damn day if I even mentioned Jashin-sama--of course I do!"

Then one of the demons walked by and laid down right in front of the cell door, throwing them into darkness.

"And now I can't," the immortal said flatly.

-.-.-

"Stupid Nekomata…thinking she's better than me all of a sudden…stupid cat…" the Sanbi muttered to himself, crossing his forepaws. He was sent to guard duty while Youko and Kaku put the Nibi up on a pedestal she didn't deserve. After all, where would she be if he hadn't arrived to help her? Still stuck on the coast, that was where! And completely human-less, too. He should have been the hero, not that conceited feline.

Isonade set his chin on his folded paws, sighing. Oh well; whining would get him nowhere. At least she had promised to give him the immortal body. But, thinking on that, he actually doubted it. There was no way Youko or Hachimata would allow him the immortal one, especially as it was the only immortal they'd caught so far. No doubt either the Kyuubi or Hachibi would get it. But then again, they had two bodies for sure, and Nekomata was positive the third would come back to them to try to rescue the others. So three bodies--he had a one-third chance of receiving one. He had helped capture them… The immortal would go to one of the higher-ups, and he and Nekomata would receive the other two. The Sanbi decided he could live with that.

Now all that was left to be decided is how they would go about this.

After Houkou's debacle, the remaining Bijuu were much more cautious when sealing and how they would control their bodies. There had been some speculation among the group about whether or not to seal with the next humans captured, or wait until they had enough for everyone to get their weapon. Isonade snorted, closing his eyes. Hopefully it would be the former of the two choices. He didn't fancy waiting for another five bodies to be found. It was hard enough getting these three.

Just like that, the Bijuu fell asleep, thinking of the (hopefully soon) day he would receive his first Jinchuuriki.

-.-.-

Deidara stole to the edge of the structure, pressing himself against the wall. Luckily, his dark cloak provided some camouflage. And a black, hooded jacket overtop didn't hurt, either. (Sasori had always pointed out how his bright blonde hair was a giveaway at night.)

The previously pacing Hachibi had stopped moving awhile ago. Deidara couldn't help but hope that the demon had fallen asleep. Demons had to sleep too, didn't they? At least, he sure hoped so… There was only a sliver of moon, and it was probably the darkest the night was going to get. Now was his best chance at getting into the building.

Of course, getting in would be the easy part. Getting out would be tougher. He had circled around the building a few times on foot and had a vague idea of what the inner rooms might be like, but he was essentially going in blind. Something he hated. He might be unprepared in most circumstances, but he never liked a lack of knowledge.

He tiptoed around the corner of the building, creeping in through one of the windows. Of course, there were no lights; either the Bijuu had night vision (he hoped not), they couldn't work the electric switches, or they were all asleep. He couldn't even begin to expect the last one, so he just figured they were all in the dark. For some reason. Whatever worked. It only helped him in the long run.

Thank the gods he had night vision in his scope, and it didn't hurt that he was an Akatsuki member. That title came with a certain amount of skill, such as excellent natural night vision.

Deidara snuck out of the room, into a vast hallway. He didn't know if it had been like that originally or modified later on, but it was definitely big enough for any of the Bijuu to walk around in. Just what had this place been?

He walked casually down the hall, completely silent. His blue eyes took in everything around him (like any good ninja should). There was a room, another hallway leading off southward, a hallway leading off to the north, there was another room… But no Bijuu. Luck, or a trap? He had seen two of them outside, but there should've still been seven more.

Then he rounded a corner and found just what he was looking for.

And nearly ran into it, too.

He halted not a meter from the demon's snout, absolutely frozen when he figured out what he'd just done. Deidara had just turned the corner and almost managed to run into a giant turtle. He knew, somewhere, that Sasori was laughing at him.

The beast gave a great snore.

He nearly jumped out of his skin, but relaxed a moment later when he noticed that the Sanbi's eyes were closed. Is this thing honestly sleeping? he asked himself, resisting the urge to nudge it. If it was, then it was a lucky break for him. If it wasn't, it would already know he was here, anyway.

So they just let demons sleep in random hallways? Odd. Deidara cautiously tiptoed around it, keeping an eye out for any sudden movements on the Bijuu's behalf. None whatsoever. Its paws were under its belly and chin, and its three tails were wrapped around its shell, so it was practically harmless (aside from the raw chakra it was giving off in waves--that made Deidara a bit dizzy).

But why would it just lay down in this hallway? It was rather well-lit--dismissing his earlier theory that the Bijuu couldn't use lights--and it would only be in the way here. Why not go back to a darker, more secluded room? Deidara pondered this as he circled the Sanbi again. It was pressed up against the wall rather firmly…was it guarding something? A door? And there was only one thing he could think of that would be worth guarding for a tailed demon.

Humans.

-.-.-

Next Chapter: "A Deidara Chapter"! Deidara's infiltration leads him to Hinata and Hidan, but not without turning a few heads. After some fancy footwork, he manages to spring them, but for how long can they remain free in a base full of demons?