Hunter of The Shadows
Chapter 16
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"So, that was just it. Things were about to get a whole lot more interesting. For all three of us."
Dean's back in the kitchen, sitting at the table, chopping carrots. He's seated stance is casual, eyes drawn down in concentration, but a slight scuffling noise in the doorway garners his attention.
"Hey Dean?" Sam's out of shot, but there's a hopefulness to his voice that Dean can't help smiling at. "You need a hand with anything?"
"Nah, I got this." Dean puts down the vegetable knife and glances over. "Sam, if you don't sit down you'll get blisters on ya hands."
Another scuffling noise, and Sammy appears on crutches, struggling to sit down at the table. Dean sighs fondly, gets up and stands behinds the youngster, slipping his arms under Sam's, and gently lowering him into the chair.
"Can't get blisters dude," Sam grins his thanks, and flips long strands of hair out of his eyes. "Not unless the handgrips are made of silver." There's a teasing note to Sam's voice.
"Smartass." Dean replies with a smirk and hands him another knife. "Here Bullet Boy, make a start on the potatoes and let me get back to the video journal."
"Where you up to?" Sam asks, head bent over his task, but looks up again when there's no answer. "Dean?"
Dean winces, then fixes Sam with a sad, meaningful gaze.
"Oh." Sam's shoulders slump, and he's suddenly looking very guilty and miserable.
"It'll be ok Sammy," Dean informs him softly, reaching across the table and gently squeezing the kid's arm. "It'll be ok…"
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Back to the past…
Time was, yet again, passing us by so fast it made my head spin. Before I knew it, Sammy was all grown up and ready to take on the world, armed to the teeth with facts, figures, research methods, and… well, teeth.
Tobius had home schooled Sam for the most part, and an old teacher friend of his had helped out online, marking assignments and exams, monitoring the kid's progress.
It was easier than it sounded. Both Sire and Sammy were scary-bright, and could easily handle lessons between hunts. It was my job to make sure they didn't over do it, and get so stuck into their discussions about calculus, organic chemistry, or modern art, that they forgot to eat.
The teacher friend also proved useful for other related purposes. Sammy needed references, as well as exam grades, to get into college. I couldn't wait to tell him, and Tobius happily agreed to leave it up to me.
Sam was going to get his dream, the one John would most certainly have denied him, and he would get it with our blessing.
Tobius had already quietly sent off for applications forms and brochures, not at all worried about grants. He was more than happy to pay Sam's way, and wanted nothing but the best for his grandson.
Now, ya see? That's where I saw trouble ahead.
Even as a teenager, Sam was way too independent. But that wasn't the main problem, as it turned out.
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Sam just stared at me and I felt the big smile slide off my face.
This wasn't going like I planned. We were back at the cabin after a long absence, taking solace in some peace and quiet, and it felt like the right time to surprise him.
"Well?" I tried not to fidget under that intense gaze. "Ain't ya pleased Sam? I mean, this is what you always wanted right?"
Opening and closing his mouth, even Sam looked mildly surprised when nothing came out.
"To go to college?" I continued, hopefully. "Higher education?"
There was a small part of me that figured Sam was just in shock at getting his wish, but a bigger, more sensible part of me had other ideas.
"Sam? You ok?"
"Uh…" Sam gulped loudly and sank down on the sofa. "I… d-don't know what to say."
I raised an eyebrow and sat next to him, gently bumping his shoulder with mine.
"How 'bout 'Dean, you're the best?' or even 'Dean, you're the coolest werewolf ever?'"
Sam sighed deeply.
Ok, this was worrying.
"C'mon dude, spill. What's up? I thought you wanted this?" Draping an arm round his shoulders, I could feel the tense muscles underneath his shirt. "I mean, all those college pamphlets you used to hide from John and me, all that study, and late nights under the blankets with a flashlight when you thought I was asleep…"
"That was then!" Sam cried out softly, turning to face me properly.
I just blinked in surprise at his outburst, and then he was up, pacing the living room, face twisted with torment.
"Sam… Sammy talk to me." Standing up, I just managed to snag hold of him, keeping the kid still.
"I…" His eyes filled with tears, and he sniffed loudly before dropping his voice to a whisper. "Back then… I-I just wanted to get out. Da-John had no faith in me, no respect for me… I couldn't do anything right in his eyes. As soon as I was old enough, I was gonna apply to study law." He sniffed again and fixed me with a look I immediately understood when he said "knew John would try to stop me anyway he could."
Gently pushing him back down on the sofa, I stared at him, my eyes roaming his face, taking in the firm chin and strong cheekbones. My boy was a good looking kid alright, no denying that, and it sure would've been a great shame for all those pretty college girls to miss out. Before my heart did something stupid, like swell with pride, or ya know, crack right open, I stumbled onwards as best I could.
"Tobius and I talked this over just after I turned you, and we swore we wouldn't stand in your way." Even though my tone was light and non-accusing, Sam's young face still flushed with guilt, and he looked down at his hands. "Whatever it took, we would get you to college, but Sammy… hey, look at me… we ain't gonna force you into something you don't wanna do, all right? I promise. Just tell me what happened, ok? What changed ya mind?"
Sam did that goldfish thing again, before answering.
"I didn't really feel a part of anything. You and John had your own little grownup world, and I was left just watching from the outside, ya know? I tried to bridge that gap, find a way in but… no way was John gonna accept me. I wasn't a good enough hunter." He blinked and bit his lip. "And I thought one day that could be me, with my own family and friends, a world I could belong to. A world without hunting. When you left it just made things worse… well, you know that part."
I didn't really know what to say. Everything he just told me made perfect sense. All those years he'd been trying to fit in, furiously researching hunts for us, determined to make us proud. At best, I'd unknowingly stood by and let him feel that way, without truly understanding what he was going through, and just laughing it off as teenage angst. At worst, I'd condemned him to a life of loneliness and self-loathing.
Aw Sammy… kiddo. I'm so sorry. I never got it 'til now.
Oh yeah, my heart was rocking two and fro, cracks appearing along its fragile shell, like a newborn was ready to hatch out.
Bright eyes blinked at me and a small, kind smile crept onto his face.
Wasn't your fault, Dean. I'd never blame you… you saved my life, gave back everything John took from me, and more. Things are so different... better now.
It was turning into a conversation we'd had many times before, but I didn't care. Whatever it took.
The kid leaned against me, turning his face into my neck, warm tears dampening my shirt.
Please don't make me go. You and Tobius are my family, the kinda family I always wanted. I don't wanna leave you. Please… Dean… don't make me go away…
Wrapping him up tight in my arms, that newborn was really hammering away at its shell by now, demanding freedom.
"Like I said, we won't make you do anything you don't want. But promise me somethin' huh?" I pulled back and tipped his chin up, my thumb carefully wiping away a stray tear. "No one expects you to make a decision right away, there's plenty of time. But just think about it ok? And remember, whatever you decide to do, wherever you decide to go, we won't be far behind ya runt."
Sam just nodded miserably.
I sensed the subject was closed for now, and went along with it. Instead, we headed out on a hunt, nothing too heavy, more of a relaxing trot through the forest in a companionable silence.
But that didn't mean I was finished.
Not by a long shot.
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It was another few months before the subject came up again, only this time it wasn't my doing.
Oh, and Gerald the werebear helped some. He turned up on our doorstep one afternoon, with a basket full of freshly baked cookies and a big grin.
"Hey guys! Heard you were back! How's the hunting?"
When his wife was working night shifts at the local medical clinic, Gerald often came by for a beer and some company. But something was different this time.
The usually solemn little guy was unusually bright and chirpy, and we soon found out why.
"Josie's pregnant! Can you believe that?" He puffed out his chest proudly. "I'm gonna be a father!"
The stupid, happy grin on his face was contagious, and soon even Tobius was grinning away like an idiot. Friendly slaps on the back, and 'congratulations dude!' turned into an all-nighter, which I correctly predicted also turned into some serious hangovers the following morning.
But Gerald didn't seem to care.
"Ya… yaknow…" he slurred out sometime later, possibly after his second beer, proving that Sammy no longer held the esteemed World Light Weight title, "Ibin… Ib… Ibinsavin'…" hic! "kid'sgoin'places…gonnahaveit'smomma'sbrains…" belch! "binsavingforcollegefund…"
Sammy went noticeably quiet at that point. I kinda hoped that was it, but Gerald didn't stop there.
The drunk werebear squinted kindly at Sam with one unfocussed eye, the other fused shut and possibly asleep all on its own.
"Gottagivethekid… chancesIneverhad… yaknow?"
Sam nodded slowly, face unreadable.
"'Cos… 'cos…" Gerald blinked and swayed, before resuming his drunken ramblings, "Ineverhadthebrains… M'Pa… alwaystoldme… toostupid… wontmakenothin'o'meself." Sniff!
Ah Jeeze! I'd hoped he wasn't about to cry, but the suspicion of moisture in Gerald's eyes told me that out of Hope, Faith and Charity, I wasn't getting laid by the first sister anytime soon.
"Gonnabeater-ter-terriblefather…" Sure enough, the waterworks let go, and he sobbed miserably.
Ok. Awkward.
Gerald was also getting harder to understand, though Sam didn't seem to have any problems.
"You're not stupid," Sam spoke quietly, "and you're gonna be a great Dad. You're already thinking of your child's future, and that counts for something." I glanced over when I felt Sam's eyes on me, and smiled, heart wedged in my mouth. "That counts for a lot."
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Something changed that night. But the following morning brought its own complications.
I was about to wake our guest with some much needed coffee when…
Loud banging on the front door, followed by "Gerald? GERALD!" had Gerald waking up with a loud pig-like snort, and falling off the couch. Scrambling up, and tripping over the blanket Tobius had covered him with shortly after he passed out, Gerald went down with a loud thud.
"GERALD! I know you're in there!"
I'd never met his wife Josie, and I sure wasn't keen to. She sounded like the very epitome of 'bear with a sore head', and Gerald seemed to be very much under her thumb.
But I was in for a shock.
Opening the door, and plastering on my most charming of smiles, I froze.
Josie was not only a real beauty, but had the sweetest, most heart warming smile I'd ever laid eyes on. Come to think of it, she hadn't sounded that angry…
"Hi, you must be Dean!" She held out a tiny delicate hand, brown eyes twinkling kindly. "I'm Gerald's wife, Josie…" she looked passed me and her smile widened. "There you are! You silly great bear of a man."
And I guess he was, compared to her tiny frame at any rate.
She held something up. "Forget something last night?"
It was two six packs of beer, and Gerald grinned sheepishly.
"Uh… yeah," he approached the door and patted my shoulder apologetically.
"Don't tell me you drank these guys out of house and home?" His wife tutted good naturedly, and pressed the beers into my hands. "Here. Take these in exchange. Next time he forgets his part in Boy's night? You send him right on home to fetch it."
I couldn't help but smile back. "That's real kind of you ma'am."
"Oh please! Call me Josie, everyone else does." That smile again! Wow! One that could launch a thousand ships.
"You wanna come in? We were just about to have breakfast," I asked, grinning from ear to ear. I was such a gentleman these days. And I was so not hitting on my neighbour's wife. My very pregnant neighbour's wife.
"I'd love some!" She exclaimed delightedly.
And besides, I noticed, as Josie took a seat on the sofa beside her husband, she was obviously deeply in love with Gerald. He sure was one lucky guy!
The smell of frying bacon and scrambling eggs wafted out of the kitchen, and pretty soon we were joined by a slightly worse for wear Sammy.
"'Mornin' Sam,"
"Hunnnnuuhhhhh…"
I figured that was as good an answer as any.
"Here ya go," Scooping up generous servings of eggs for everyone, I could faintly hear Tobius singing happily in the shower, and shook my head, grinning. The guy never suffered from hangovers, yet Sam comes from completely the other end of the scale, with me lying somewhere in between.
Presumable, the shower door opened, because the singing suddenly increased in volume.
"OOOOk-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain,
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet, When the wind comes right behind the rain…"
I cringed with embarrassment.
Tobius? Great guy. Brilliant mind. Superb hunter. Wonderful grandfather.
Sucky taste in music.
And judging by the disgusted look on Sam's face, my equally brilliant son was thinking the same thing.
"Just shut it out Sam, don't let it get to ya, ok kid?" I deadpanned, causing Josie and Gerald to giggle like children. "Seriously, psychotherapy's expensive these days. I don't wanna have to sell my body again!" I added with a cocky waggle of an eyebrow, then nearly panicked when I realised what I'd just told him.
But Sam virtually snorted scrambled eggs out his nose in laughter, and took a hurried swig of decaf.
Ok, so it wasn't far from the truth, but it made a good joke so long as Sammy didn't know that. As I once said in an earlier journal entry, there ain't nothing I wouldn't do for that kid.
"'O'course, I'd have to book up the entire week, might even have to turn people away," I was prepared to carry it on as long as Sam was laughing. "They'd queue up round the block, the cops might have to move people on…"
"Yeah right!" Sam laughed loudly and forked a piece of bacon. He'd obviously missed the implications of my joke. I guess, sometimes, hangovers are a blessing.
"What's all the noise about?" Tobius poked his head round the door, hair damp from the morning shower, and a large grin appeared when he spotted the extra guest. "Josie! Lovely to see you. You look radiant darling!"
Josie batted her eyelashes and laughed.
"Why, you flatter me kind sir!"
Yeah Tobius, ya smooth talking bar steward!
Glad to hear you curbing your language around a lady for once, Dean.
"Oh you don't need to worry 'bout that Dean, honey," Josie smiled knowingly, "I'm only a few hundred years younger than Tobius, so I've pretty much seen and heard it all!"
Sam and I gaped.
"Really?" Turning to Gerald I gazed at him admiringly, "Dude! You're a fucking toyboy!"
I really couldn't blame the guy for the smug grin, as he replied:
"Damn straight!"
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Yeah, something had changed all right.
Sitting round the dinner table later that evening, after the werebears excused thenselves, we ate in a comfortable silence, most of the conversation taking place in our heads. It was at this point when Sam's thought processes interrupted with a question. One which, for some weird reason, had never once crossed my mind to ask.
Tobius? Are we the first?
All movement ceased, and Tobius slowly put down his knife and fork, leaving his roast lamb half finished.
He cleared his throat, looking a little nervous.
"How exactly do you mean the first?"
Sam bit his lip, and I could see he was already regretting the question.
"A-are we the first humans you've turned?" Sam gulped slightly before continuing. "Or are there others out there like us?"
Tobius seemed to think about that, and I wondered if Sam had over-stepped the mark.
"No. You're not the first, exactly. But I did once have a birth child of my own." Something akin to deep sadness crossed his face, and I could even swear there was a glimmer of heartbreak in his eyes. But his voice remained calm and solid. "Around four hundred years ago, I fell for an enchanting young lady, and as luck would have it, she also fell for me. But Lady Anna was already betrothed... to a human. For the sake of her safety... and that of our unborn child, I was forced to leave."
Sam and I were both stunned into silence, whilst Tobius took a deep shaky breath.
"Unfortunately, her new husband never believed he was the father, in spite of Anna's insistence, and the child grew up in a home filled with hate and sadness. As soon as I received word of my daughter's birth, something inside me snapped. I had to get back to them both. I travelled for weeks on horseback, but by the time I arrived, it was already too late. Anna... was dead. They claimed she'd fallen from her bedroom window..." Tobius let that trail off, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to understand his suspicions.
Sam looked away, eyes bright with tears.
I just sat there, still stunned.
"What about your daughter? Did you go to her? Take her away with you?" I asked tentatively, though I'd guessed the answer from the anger on the guy's face.
"I tried, but the bastard wouldn't let her go." Tobius stared at nothing. "He knew. He could've let us leave together... but he was... " and I'm pretty sure he stifled a sob. And that was the point I really understood there'd be no hope for me if anything happened to Sammy.
I'd never seen so much anguish in Father's eyes when he continued.
"He had the entire township rising up against all werewolves... and guess who was the first example put to death?" He paused, then added with a short, curt nod, "Publically."
Hands twisting, sweat breaking out on his forehead... I guessed what this revelation was costing him. And a tiny part of me knew I'd never completely understand; Tobius had revealed as much as he was ever going to. This was his own personal heartbreak.
There wasn't much more to say.
Sammy, face strained against holding in the tears, quietly excused himself and left the room.
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Author's notes:
Was just watching Australia, and it reminded me why I picked Hugh Jackman to 'play' Tobius La Salle. I hope you will all agree that he's an excellent choice for our enigmatic, and compassionate non-lunar werewolf. And he would have had a great on-screen chemistry with our favourite boys, especially as he puts me in mind of an older Dean. And then there's the thought of seeing him with his shirt off...
... oh baby!
All three of them with their shirts off. Now that's a 12 month calendar I'd pay good money for!
Cheers again darlings.
Kind regards,
ST xxx