A/N: A sincere thank you for all the encouragement. And thank you for the spelling help. I'm sorry if this is too short. Sometimes I can't move to the new phase until old one is gone. And there is definitely a new phase coming for our dearest Hermione. :)
July 17th
I'm peeling back the years. I can see Ron and I walking into shell cottage. You weren't there. Bill was sitting in the kitchen. He wouldn't let us turn on the lights.
I stared at Ron trying to reach his brother in the darkness, but that's not what I really saw. In my mind's eye was your face on the night you said my name differently. The night you looked at me like your life was crushing you. Were you waiting for me to say something? How could I? Your eyes began to glisten. Then you walked towards me. I felt panic, but you just kept walking. You didn't turn around. Shameful thoughts to have in the face of Bill's grief.
Even months later it was hard not to repeat that moment in my mind, to let go of seeing my want mirrored in your eyes.
Your portrait, every brush stroke was meant to will you away from my mind, to put you somewhere outside of me. No, I'm lying. Every ounce of paint was to keep you with me until I just couldn't handle it anymore.
Fleur, I think I loved you first. I want to paint you again.
July 18th
Harry's birthday is coming up. I want to do something special for him because he's Harry, because he's helping Ron get over me, because I never had to explain to him why I didn't want to work for the Ministry or stay in academia. I squeezed him so tight when he told me how he convinced the Minister to stop sending me owls and owls of job offers.
I have years to use my studies. Don't I?