Hunter of The Shadows
Chapter 17
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Dean stops talking and glances at Sam, sensing the heavy atmosphere.
"You sure you wanna be here for some of this?"
Sam puts down the potato peeler, and just stares at the table.
"Do... uh... dya think Tobius ever found anyone else after Anna? I mean, he never said if he ever got married." He frowns sadly at that. "To go all those years, those centuries alone...
Blowing out a gentle breath, Dean sits back and considers that.
"I just don't know. But hey!" A hand reaches out and grasps the kid's shoulder. "Given all that's happened? I can't blame you for wondering about it. But if he did, then it was a choice he made. Doesn't mean that's gonna happen to you, kiddo."
Sam lifts his head to stare at Dean.
"I'm not so sure, Dean. If that was his decision, then I can understand why." The stare grows intense. "But what about you? Don't you wanna find someone to settle down with?"
"What the hell for? Too many beautiful girls out there, dude, and I got an eternity to meet them all!" Dean smirks, and seems genuinely amused. "The whole point of sex is survival of the species, right? Carrying on the bloodline?" His voice softens, affectionately, when he sees that Sam really doesn't get it. "Why would I need someone, just one person, to have kids with, when I already have the best son in the world? And a son of my bloodline at that."
Sam blushes and smothers a grin. He's clearly still not used to hearing Dean talk like this. Even after all these years.
"Just get on with the story, Jerk." Sam offers Dean a soft, kind of half smile that tells all.
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And... back we go again...
"Here," I held out a mug of hot cocoa, "with extra cinnamon, just how you like it."
Sam smiled his thanks, and nodded.
We were sitting out by a large log pile, or at least Sammy had been. I'd watched him chopping logs, taking out his frustrations on the poor helpless wood with each swing of the axe. I figured if I didn't force him to take a break pretty soon there wouldn't be much left of the forest.
It seemed he wasn't gonna be the one to open the discussion, so I took the initiative with my usual tact and diplomacy.
"So, you thought any more about college?" Keeping my voice low and casual, I gazed out at the view across the mountains.
Yeah, bad start – spent too long around Tobius - but can ya really blame me? I just want what's best for my boy.
Sam tensed up immediately, and my heart sank.
"You know my answer to that." He sipped at his cocoa, elbows on knees, eyes cast down somewhere near his feet.
After our last conversation, and the inadvertent advice from Gerald, I really hoped he'd changed his mind. The kid had worked so damn hard, scored some shit-hot exam results, and all for nothing?
I couldn't let him just throw it all away, the future he wanted so bad, the chance to shine like he truly deserved.
"Sammy..."
"It's Sam."
I blinked, and tried to conceal my shock at his rough, angry tone.
"Fine, Sam. Don't you think you're being a little hasty about all this?" I stood up, and stared down at him, arms crossed. "Have you even thought about it? I mean, seriously."
"I've thought about it," he insisted without looking up, but his low voice was softened a little as he shook his head. "I just...." Sam huffed in frustration.
"What?" Crouching down and forcing him to look at me, I stared at the kid, imploring him to answer. "Come on. We need to talk about this."
Sam remained silent for a long moment, and I felt my own frustration building.
"I'm not letting this go kid, now quit ignoring the question."
Sam ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily.
"I don't wanna leave, Dean." Finally, he raised pleading eyes to mine. "I told you why, so please don't ask me again."
This was getting stupid, and a spark of anger ignited inside my gut at the kid's stubbornness.
"That's not a good enough excuse, Sam." I tried to control my voice, to keep it reasonable, but Sam must have heard the animosity loud and clear. Giving up the pretence of cool, calm and collected, I stood and paced slowly. "You owe it to yourself to try. Hell! You owe it to Tobius and me! John wouldn't have even considered it for a moment, but we, your family, are willing to make that sacrifice for you. Can you say the same?" Inwardly, I winced at the cheap shot.
The kid leapt to his feet and rounded on me.
"Is that what it comes down to, huh?" Sam barked back angrily. "This all about some fucking debt? 'Cos you saved my life, you think that gives you the right to control it? Like you fucking own me now?"
I ignored that and treated it with the contempt it deserved.
"I know what this is all about." I stepped up and jabbed him in the chest with an index finger. "You're scared of failure. You're scared shitless that you'll actually prove John right!"
The blood drained from Sam's face, leaving it washed out and pale.
"You sonofabitch!" He whispered, eyes brimming with tears.
But I couldn't afford to let it get to me. One way or another, we were gonna resolve this.
"That's it isn't it?" I demanded, getting right in his face. "And by not going, you're giving up. By not even trying, you're already letting him win! It's not about me Sam; it's about John still controlling you from beyond the grave! He broke you, badly, and believe me kid, I get that. I know what he did to your self-esteem, and you've worked so damn hard to claw back what he took from you, and I won't stand aside and just let you waste away!"
Sam's froze, face in a bitter, angry snarl. When he replied it was as though he hadn't heard a word I'd said. Avoidance tactics. Classic Winchester, in fact.
"If you want me gone so badly, why did you even bother turning me?" He growled, then his voice grew in volume. "Am I that much of a burden to you Dean? Are you so tired of me hanging around like some unwanted sidekick, that you're happy to just pack me off to school? Why save my life in the first place, huh? You had the chance to be free of me. You should have left me to die!"
The red mist descended.
Next thing I knew, Sammy was struggling and flinching, back pressed hard against the cabin's outer wall, my fist raised in readiness.
I've felt anger before, but this time was different. Sheer rage coursed through me, with fear and remorse riding shotgun.
How could he say that? How could he even think it?
I was out of control with grief, images of Sammy dying right in front of me, and I couldn't stand it.
I just couldn't...
I froze when I realised what was happening, and lowered my fist.
But it was too late. Sam twisted sharply, ducked under and out, and was free of my grip in a flash.
I couldn't believe what I was about to do. No wonder he was scared.
"Sam... kiddo..." I pleaded softly. But he just stared at me, glassy eyes wide with fear and shock. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean... please, don't go..."
The kid backed away, slowly at first, breathing hitched and heavy, and I realised he was no longer seeing me. Body shivering, sweat clinging to his brow, Sam started shaking his head frantically, and it didn't take a genius to figure out just who he was seeing.
"No... stay away from me!"
Hands raised, palms out in surrender, I risked a step forward, but he just shrank away.
"Sam... it's ok. I'm not gonna hurt you."
The wild look in his eyes confirmed every suspicion that John still very much had a hold over him. Question was, why had I let it get this far? How had I allowed it to go this deep? And now the poor kid was afraid of me.
Can't really blame him for that. In his eyes, I'd been a hair's breadth away from becoming John.
"Please... Sam, I'm sorry, ok?" Keeping eye contact and whispering softly, I risked another step forward. "I'd never hurt you kiddo, I just got scared is all."
The next step ruined it all, when my foot came down on a twig, the loud snap rolling round the clearing and bouncing off the cabin's outer walls. Sam flinched and the next thing I knew, he was gone, silently racing through the forest.
"Shit!" There was nothing else I could do, so I took off after him.
There was no doubt that some kind of post-trauma related stress had been triggered off in Sam's mind. We'd never really talked about those six months he spent in John's 'care', mainly 'cos Tobius didn't think it would help, re-hashing old ground. But he didn't know Sammy like I did, and I guess I should've listened to my gut instincts. Tobius meant no harm, but the kid was clearly buckling under the weight of John's anger and judgment.
Hell! Who am I to talk? I hadn't really seen it 'til now!
The time had come to find out exactly what that judgment had done to Sam.
I was determined to track the kid down, and make him talk, 'cos neither of us could go on like this.
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Sammy! C'mon buddy, talk to me!
His clothes had been left in a heap under some low hanging branches, and after that it became almost impossible to find him. And not because I couldn't catch his scent.
Oh no.
Just the opposite.
I could smell the little shit everywhere.
He must have darted back and forth, circled and back tracked, leaving false trail after false trail. I knew the kid was good, but this showed real talent, and under other circumstances I would've felt proud as hell. He must have been watching for us, moving on silently from cover to cover, waiting for the right moment.
Dean. He's laid this trail as one big cover, to hide out until he can down for the night without danger of discovery. Yeah, Tobius was on the same wavelength. It might be wise to leave him alone for a while. Give him some time to think.
Tobius had joined me as soon as he heard my distress. Guilt covered him like a blanket, and as tempting as it was, I couldn't bring myself to blame him. I wasn't his first attempt at having a family, as I already mentioned, and the last time hadn't worked out so well for him. Sam, great kid that he is, was definitely a challenge.
It surprises me even now, given our telepathic abilities, how wrong werewolves can read each other sometimes.
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After a few hours, his scent was growing cold. Every paw print was like a false horizon, promising the journey's end, only to lead down another blind alley.
A weak feeling in the pit of my stomach sped up my search, nosing under every shrub, sniffing round every tree, desperately searching for him. Paranoia was taking me down hard and fast, and hope was fading.
Supposing he'd taken off for good? What if I'd scared him so badly he'd never trust me again?
What if I never saw him again?
Please Sammy, don't go. Not like this.
But there was no answer. I scrambled over stream beds and rocks, stumbled up steep slopes, nose to the ground, sniffing frantically.
Think about it. Tobius' voice of reason broke through my rapidly building panic. This whole argument started because he didn't want to leave you. He's just a little freaked at the moment. He'll calm down. Once he's had time to think.
It was the second time he'd hinted at giving Sam some space, but as usual I couldn't leave it at that. I could, however, reach a compromise.
Yeah, I know. I just wanna make sure he's ok, then we'll leave him alone. For now.
There came a brief flash of green eyes glowing with proud approval, just before Tobius moved through a patch of undergrowth and disappeared from sight. I stopped, raised my head and sniffed the air. Our height above sea level was steadily increasing, and Sam's scent still lingered on the light breeze. Dusk was approaching, a few stars twinkling through the gloom, but that wasn't what bothered me; Tobius knew the lie of the land round here but Sammy didn't, and it was easy to lose yourself, especially if you'd run yourself ragged covering your tracks.
Another strong sniff and… something… a snuffle along the ground, large paw prints in the dirt here and there… it was Sam all right, but the scent was slightly fresher, stronger...
Tobius! I think I've found him!
I set off again, the pace fast and furious; barely halting to leap over fallen trees and ditches, or snuffle the ground.
I hear you. Be careful out here Dean; the ground grows rocky and treacherous the higher we climb.
I was hardly listening. My heart was pounding loud enough to wake the dead as I gathered speed, racing across the rough terrain, Sammy's scent stronger than ever. There was a rocky outcrop ahead, and just beyond it I could spy the shadow of some kind of cave or overhang.
He was there! I felt him, felt his fear and hurt…
Sammy, don't be afraid…
No! Stay away… leave me alone…
I'm not gonna hurt you buddy. I just wanna make sure you're ok.
Why would you care? You want me to leave anyhow!
That's not true, Sam.
That's why you've been pushing me away.
Not pushing you! Just want you to be happy!
How can I be happy living apart from my only family-
He was abruptly cut off, and I heard a loud yelp and a scrabbling noise. Loose shale tumbled out and rolled down over the edge of what was gradually revealed to be a steep drop. I imagined Sam backing away, hiding in the shadows of his makeshift shelter.
As I got closer, I noticed a few things. It seemed the ground underfoot wasn't all that stable. Now I understood what Tobius meant by treacherous.
Sammy? You ok?
Dean, get away from here. He was sounding panicked now. I think there's gonna be a rockslide. I don't trust it.
I'll be ok. Just stay calm. I'm coming to get you out.
No! It's too dangerous! You have to turn back!
That's right, it is dangerous, so stay away from the edge kiddo and take it easy. I kept my voice a little cocky and cheerful for his sake, though in truth I was feeling anything but. The way ahead was on a steep slope that cut off abruptly a few feet down. Anyone foolish enough to try the crossing without some kind of safety harness would likely not survive it.
But for werewolves, being as sure-footed as mountain goats, it was a piece of cake. If not, that was, for the possibility of this entire side of the mountain taking a nosedive. In fact, I could already feel a subtle trembling, as the mountainside fought the pull of gravity.
Picking my way across to the outcrop and peering round, I could see him lying on the rocky ground of the small cave, muzzle resting on his paws, body quivering with fear.
Can you see me Sam? I'm right here buddy, just keep your eyes on me.
Sam raised his head, blue-green eyes glowing in the murky darkness like a willow the wisp.
Yeah, I see ya.
Tobius? You round here?
A soft noise on the track behind me and Tobius appeared in my peripheral vision.
Well, well, well. He surmised rather dryly. You two certainly have a nasty habit of getting into quite a pickle.
I resisted the urge the roll my eyes.
Gee thanks. Real helpful.
But Tobius either didn't hear, or was deliberately ignoring my sarcastic retort. He was studying the surrounding area carefully, eyes darting round, taking in every detail.
Right. See that track? Runs right up the side of the outcrop? More like a rabbit run than a path.
I narrowed my eyes and followed his line of sight.
Yeah. This looked promising. If I can get up there, I can pull Sam out. 'Course we'll both have to change to human form for the climb, then back again to make our way across. Sammy?
Yeah, I can do that. Been practicing rapid changes.
That's ma boy.
I felt a painful nip on my left haunch. Yelping loudly, I turned on Tobius.
What the hell was that for?
Green eyes flared briefly in the darkness.
I will get him out…
I growled angrily, deep in my throat.
No-
I mean it Dean. I'm not going to risk both of you getting hurt, and besides, I know this area like the back of my paw. He fixed me with a no-nonsense gaze, halting any further argument.
I hung my head, defeated. But I couldn't resist grumbling.
S'not like we can die ya know.
Dean… do as you're told!
Yes Sire.
A brief friendly nudge with his nose, and he was bounding gracefully away.
You ok Sam?
Yeah. Uh… I'm sorry Dean. Didn't mean to land in trouble like this. Place seemed so safe when I first got here. I just wanted somewhere to lay low and… and…
I heard his huff of frustration.
Yeah kid, I know.
So… you're not mad at me anymore? His thoughts sounded so small and worried, like a chastised eight year old, I couldn't help but smile.
Aw Sammy, I answered sadly. I was never angry with you. I just know how badly you wanted to make something of your life, and you've worked so hard. No. It's John I'm mad at, kiddo. He could've got some help to deal with all this, from Bobby Singer, Pastor Jim, Caleb… but he just brushed them off. Result? He lost his way completely. But what I can't forgive him for, is nearly taking you with him.
A small loaded silence made me hold my breath.
Thanks Dean.
You're welcome kiddo.
Sam sat up, rear paw coming up to scratch lazily behind an ear.
Dya think those guys ever wonder what happened to us? And to John?
I blew out a breath through my snout, and shook my mane.
I don't know Sam. Maybe. I'm pretty sure they don't know anything though, not unless they ran into Gordon, and it's not likely they'd believe anything he says.
A brief silence descended, and we heard Tobius moving further up the small track. He was almost there.
D-do you… uh… really think I could make it to college?
I blinked in surprise. Sam was finally admitting his fears.
No doubt in my mind, kid.
Ok. Get ready to change Sa-
Tobius was cut off as the rocky face trembled violently, and began to give way. Neither Tobius nor Sam had time to change, and the elder werewolf merely extended his jaw and snapped a hold of the scruff of Sam's neck, the kid yelping loudly in pain.
Sammy!
Tobius pulled back quickly, and effortlessly dragged Sam up and away from the crumbling cave, the young wolf swinging violently from his jaws. He didn't stop there, merely dropped Sam to the ground and roughly pushed him into a run, heading back down the rabbit path, the rock falling away beneath their paws. By time they made it down, the entire outcrop was gone, the only evidence it had ever existed were the gouges and fresh scars in the rock.
My heart, finally slipping back down from my mouth, was beating hard in my chest, where it belonged.
Jesus guys! I nearly made it as the first werewolf ever to suffer a heart attack and crap himself at the same time!
Sam chuckled softly in my head, and I felt sure Tobius was about to add some dry, smart-assed comment, but he didn't get the chance.
They were about twenty feet from me and on the approach, when the ground beneath my paws shifted, loose shale beginning to slide alarmingly. I tried to jump clear, but with a sudden, frightening sweep, it took me with it.
A loud involuntary howl was wrenched from my mouth, and just as soon drowned out by the roar of falling rocks.
The last thing I remember was seeing Sam and Tobius leaping forward, desperately trying to grab me. But even I could see they were too far away.
DEEAANNNNN!!!!!
Saaammmyyyy…
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Author's notes:
Oh dear. What have I done?
MMMWWWHAHAHAHA!
Warning! Serious pimping coming up!
I've just started up a fan fiction community for Hunter of the Shadows. You can find it under my profile.
It's called The Winchester Werewolf Chronicles: Shades of Night.
Many thanks go out to Vonnie and Darksupernatural, who between them pretty much named this 'verse for me.
Well done to the ace author Phx, who is the first to submit a fic for this 'verse. Go check it out and tell her your thoughts. I think the lady's done an awesome job!
So, drabbles, tags, missing scenes, full on full-length fics, one-shots, you name it. Have a go and start posting! The rules are fairly simple and you'll find them when you get there.
This is our support group for the end of season 4, and most likely for the end of season 5. I think we'll all need it once the show's over, and we can at least write our own happy endings for the boys.
Spread the word anyway you can!
Another pimp:
Summer fic exchange is coming up, thanks to the wonderful Faye Dartmouth and Sendintheclowns, so go check it out on live journal:
"At the end of the fourth season, Sam Winchester is having a bad go of things. His failure is epic, but his intentions inherently noble. Things don't look so good for our favourite geekboy, so it's time to show him just how loved he is.
The project is simple: fic that celebrates Sam Winchester. We need fic to highlight how awesome Sam is on every level. His strength, his courage, his angst, his sacrifice, his smarts, his hunting skills--you name it, we want to celebrate it. We thought the best way to do this would be in the form of a fic exchange. The process will be straightforward (and not nearly as complicated as it looks!).
So, get the word out. This summer, let's remind each other and the rest of fandom just how awesome Sam Winchester is."
I'm all for that! Sam needs some love, and we're the only ones who can give it to him.
The show obviously isn't going to!
Kind regards,
ST xxx