Disclaimer: Wow, original characters… I own them all! Save one minor little character, who was borrowed from a magnificent fan fiction. …Without permission. (please don't hurt me; I make no profit from this)

-.-.-

"…Yeah, this is her."

"At least it looks like they went out quickly."

"Yeah…"

The group found the bodies of Ai and Kinshirou just an hour out of the gates. The corpses were hardly recognizable, and for the most part, also naked. Their supplies had been ransacked and much of it stolen, too. "Kazekage-sama isn't going to like this."

"We already knew they were dead. He won't like it if we don't get even; that's what'll make him mad," said the leader.

There were nine shinobi in the retaliation force. The four of squad two and the four of squad six, commanded by an old jounin named Kinpachi. He had been in the last two great wars, and seemed infinitely knowledgeable about the ways of ninja, be it Suna-nin or other. The rest of the group--most of them too young to have participated in the last war, let alone the one before that--were awed, and a bit intimidated, by him.

"They would have headed north out of the desert, wouldn't they? It's the shortest route to the nearest river," one of the younger chuunin said.

"Don't be stupid," admonished another. She continued, pointing a bit to her right, "They have enough water to last them for a longer trek, if they stocked up here. They won't be heading straight north. They'll be heading northeast."

"Why?"

"Because they're heading to Ame," Kinpachi said. His voice was unnervingly cool and calculated, and the chuunin who'd asked flinched back a bit. The kunoichi who had spoken before nodded solemnly in agreement. Kinpachi regarded her for a moment before speaking again. "If they are any sort of good shinobi--and we know they are--they wouldn't be so stupid as to head into Iwa. They only came here to look for the Bijuu, correct, am I not? Then why, if they're combing the land for those demons, would they back themselves into a corner with Iwa?" Several members of the group nodded with a dawning realization.

"Wh-What if they've already gone through Ame and are cornering the Bijuu in Iwa? Y-Y'know, like some sort of net…"

"Don't be foolish," the kunoichi scoffed. "Not even the Akatsuki would be that dumb. They don't want to pursue and corner--they want to ambush on their own terms. Besides, any good ninja knows that a cornered enemy gets frightened and desperate. Would you want to fight a desperate demon?"

"Haya-san, no need for such hostility. He was just asking a question," Kinpachi said coldly. The woman blushed furiously in embarrassment at being called out like that. The leader sighed. He hadn't wanted her on this mission, but because of her bloodline limit, she had to come. Sunagakure only had three bloodlines left, and Haya was the only remaining member of her clan alive to use hers. But because of her power, and the respect that power gave her, she was arrogant and proud. Kinpachi didn't want to deal with clashing egos on this mission; the enemies would be bad enough.

"…They can't be that far ahead of us," someone else said, breaking up the awkward situation. Haya nodded, eager to change the subject. Kinpachi sighed again.

"Let's go now. Someone else can pick up the bodies later."

-.-.-

"Hey, Sasori-sensei! I have a question!"

"Is it sensei again already?"

"Forgiveness comes quick with children."

"No, they just want to leech techniques off me again."

"Don't ignore me!"

"Would I do a thing like that?"

The kids were not making much headway in their quest for knowledge. Each time any of them approached Sasori, he, or one of the other two men, would deflect them just like that. At least he wasn't outright ignoring them though. …Yet.

Tomozou, defeated yet again, fell back into his group. The children were trailing behind the three adults, talking in low tones amongst themselves. "That went well," Seishirou said mildly, hiding a smirk.

"Your try didn't go much better," Tomozou snapped in reply. "…Why doesn't Hitomi-san try again? At least then Neji-san leaves the conversation alone."

"It is Seishirou's turn this time," she answered.

"Hm. …Why don't we have a rearguard? I feel kind of out in the open like this." Tomozou glanced over his shoulder, faking a nervous laugh. It was obvious where he was going with this, so the other two stayed silent. He jogged up to be among the men once more, asking politely, "Why don't we have a rearguard?"

"The Byakugan makes it unnecessary." He got a reply, but it didn't let him easily start a conversation. He didn't know enough about it, either, to ask any more questions.

"What if someone is fast enough to get us anyway? I feel like bait back there."

"Then walk ahead of us."

Tomozou scowled, racking his brain for anything else. He was like his mother in the fact that he'd flatter and beg shamelessly to get what he wanted, but these three seemed absolutely impervious to such techniques. How else could he get information, though? His mother acted flirty, his father threatened (which would also be useless here), and Sasuke would always just use his Sharingan. He didn't know any other ways to get what he wanted.

Once again, he fell back into step with Seishirou and Hitomi. "…What now?" Seishirou asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Tomozou glanced at him. Sasori seemed to give away information in two situations. The first was when it benefited him, whether directly or for his amusement. Right now, they couldn't work at that angle.

He also gave away information when he was shown that someone else knew something he didn't think they knew. Wait, did that make sense? Tomozou asked himself, scrunching up his nose. Well, it's true… Once he figured out that I knew Seishirou was connected to the Akatsuki, he and Kakuzu-san confirmed it.

While he was lost in thought, Hitomi took her own initiative and trotted up to the group of adults once more. She tugged shyly on Sasori's sleeve, batting her doe eyes when he turned to look at her. "May I see your puppet once more?"

"Which one?" Sasori asked, clearly humoring her.

"The handsome one with the white hair."

"Handsome?!" Seishirou hissed, taken aback.

Tomozou, however, could only commend her on her genius. "Shut up. If Sasori will take it out--then we only need to ask him to show us what it's used for!"

"Is she referring to the one I'm thinking of?" Neji asked, raising both eyebrows.

"I believe so." Sasori looked up at her father for a moment, as if asking permission. After that moment, however, he just took out a scroll from somewhere in his sleeve, and as they stopped, he unfurled it.

"Thank you," Hitomi said politely when the white-haired puppet appeared. She let go of her idol's sleeve and inspected it. "…What is his name?"

"I just call him annoying," the redhead replied with a wry smirk.

"His name is--was Kakashi," Neji said sharply, shooting him a glare.

"Is he an offensive or defensive puppet?" she asked, circling it. By then, the boys had also caught up and began to examine the puppet. It certainly was a weird looking puppet, that was for sure. White hair, face mask, plain (if frayed) jounin uniform, and mismatched eyes.

"Primarily offensive," Sasori replied. Now even he seemed entertained with the thought of explaining his art to them. Tomozou was just thinking he could use that to their advantage when he saw Kakashi's eyes for the first time.

"…Hey." He didn't know who he was speaking to. He stood on his tiptoes and leaned up closer, narrowing his cyan eyes as he looked at the red one. It looked like the Sharingan, but only Sasuke had that--only Uchiha had that. This man obviously wasn't an Uchiha, however, and there was a faint scar running down over that side of the face. Why did a puppet have a scar, anyway? And--hadn't this one used ninjutsu earlier? "…What kind of puppets do you have?"

"They were once humans."

"Kakashi must have been a Konoha shinobi," Hitomi said placidly, returning to Sasori's side to let the boys inspect him. "Is that right?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"He looks just like the Copy-nin." Tomozou noticed that both Neji and Sasori stiffened slightly. Hitomi seemed unaware of this, though.

"…Who's the Copy-nin?" he asked, partly because he really didn't know, and partly to get another reaction.

"A famous Konoha-nin. He died during the last war, though," Seishirou replied, looking over the puppet with a new eye. "…Now that you mention it, the hair and uniform are the same."

"He is the Copy-nin," Sasori said after a long silence. Hitomi looked up at him wonderingly, probably placing him on an even higher pedestal in her mind.

"You have had a very full life."

"What is that supposed to mean?" The seriousness was gone again, and now he sounded vaguely amused by her remark.

"Well," Hitomi said shyly, reaching up to hold his hand with both of hers, "You have been in the Akatsuki for several years. You were in this last war, and perhaps the one prior. You seem to know so many people, and you have many puppets, and if they are all created from ninja, you must have fought many of them, too. You have also had at least two partners in the Akatsuki, and you seem to have extensive knowledge of many things. Have you ever been married?" The suddenness of the last question made Kakuzu choke back a laugh. Neji stared at his daughter, mouth slightly open, white eyes wide. It struck Tomozou that he might now just be finding out about her slightly creepy affection for Sasori.

"…No, I have not," Sasori said haltingly, trying to detach her from his hand. It was no use.

"Then you still need to do that," Hitomi said cheerfully, beaming at him. It was pretty obvious where she was sending this conversation. Kakuzu, meanwhile, had both hands clamped over his mouth trying to stop from cracking up.

"No, I'd rather not."

"Hitomi, Sasori really isn't the family type of man," Neji said, looking slightly pained.

"O-Oh? I think he'd be a wonderful mother," Kakuzu finally said. Sasori turned and gave him a glare that could peel paint. "He looks after Deidara, doesn't he? I've heard the blonde call him a 'mother hen' more than once, too."

"Sasori's motherly?" Tomozou peeked around the Copy-nin puppet, just having heard that last part.

"That would be wonderful," Hitomi sighed happily.

"I am not motherly!" Sasori glared at Kakuzu so hard it was amazing he didn't burst into flames. It did, however, make it clear that there would be retribution later on. "And as for you--" He cut himself off and hauled Hitomi into the air by the back of her shirt with his other hand. She clung on to him, however, so it made for a pretty bizarre sight. "Let go of me. Right now."

"No. I do not wish to let go." She wrapped her arms around his tighter, if such a thing was possible.

"Hitomi, you need to let go now." Neji spoke on Sasori's behalf, but at this point, even he wasn't too keen on getting involved in the one-sided lover's spat.

"Not until Sasori agrees to marry me," she exclaimed, burying her face in his sleeve. Sasori looked as if someone had just stabbed him through the heart. Kakuzu was now losing a battle against his laughter.

"She's better than Hidan!" he crowed, biting his lip to stop himself from cackling. "An-And Tobi! Combined! Sasori, are you going to wear a dress again for the wedding?"

"Again?" Tomozou brightened considerably; if they couldn't flatter Sasori into training them, at this rate they could blackmail him.

Sasori could have undoubtedly detached Hitomi by violent means, but he seemed uncomfortably aware that Neji was standing right behind him. Even if he was an Akatsuki-nin, he couldn't dodge an attack from that range.

"What will Deidara say, Sasori?" Kakuzu asked through his snickering. "I'll tell him you're cheating on him--"

"Hitomi, get off of me!" the redhead commanded, though he was nearly pleading with her. She shook her head and clung tighter. "I am not going to marry you."

"Why not?" she asked pitifully, voice muffled by the fabric of his sleeve.

Once again, Sasori was aware of Neji's presence behind him, so he couldn't say the first thing that came to mind. In fact, he had to be downright delicate about it if he didn't want the little girl crying to daddy and daddy trying to kill him.

"Didn't you say you thought the Copy-nin puppet was handsome?"

"He's spoken for," Neji said flatly.

"My point being--you think most things male are handsome or worth your attention. They're not. I'm not. You should move on, and go chase after someone closer to your own age."

"You are more handsome than he is," she said firmly. Her face was still pressed into his sleeve, so it was hard to tell, but she sounded close to crying.

"I'm also old enough to be your father." Neji cleared his throat behind him. "Your grandfather," Sasori amended.

"You do not look like it. Why do you not like me?"

"It's not that--" Sasori paused to grimace; this looked to be a painful experience for him, "--but we're not compatible. This is nothing but a silly little crush."

"No it is not!" Hitomi whimpered.

The redhead sighed wearily. "What do I have to do to prove that I'm not worth your attention?" he asked in exasperation, though the sarcasm was also hard to miss.

Hitomi said something more, but it was muffled by his sleeve. When asked to repeat herself, she took her face away from the fabric and stared up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. "As long as you stay my Sasori and nothing else and do not change--I will always adore you." At least she hadn't used the word 'love'. "Just do not change--"

"Change," Sasori repeated flatly. He suddenly looked a lot less desperate.

"Yes. If you were to become our ninjutsu teacher, for instance, of course I could not be as openly affectionate towards you, for such teacher-student relationships are frowned upon," she said seriously.

"…" Sasori hung his head, either shocked or ashamed that he had managed to let it get this far without catching on. Tomozou couldn't blame him; he'd thought she was serious up until that point. "…That is true," he said finally.

"So--either we will be married or you will teach us."

"I'll teach you ninjutsu." His voice was still flat, still defeated. By a nine-year-old girl, nonetheless.

Hitomi relinquished Sasori's arm, beaming.

Kakuzu, taking deep breaths to stop his laughter, remarked, "I take it back. She is better than goddamn Deidara at getting you to do what she wants."

"I want to learn the electric jutsu from his puppet first, Sasori-sensei!" Seishirou exclaimed, pointing at the Kakashi puppet. He had stayed quiet through most of the conversation, and belatedly Tomozou realized that he must have known about Hitomi's plan all along. …Or maybe he'd been too shocked to say anything.

"Chidori?" asked Neji dubiously. It probably didn't sound like a very safe jutsu to teach a kid. Sasori, on the other hand, shrugged noncommittally. He didn't seem to have a problem with it, which was all the permission the children needed.

Then, all of a sudden, Neji shouted, "Duck!" The three kids hit the sand immediately; their first instinct was to listen. Neji threw himself into some sort of spin, creating a chakra barrier that blocked the first barrage of shuriken. The two Akatsuki members, even as that was happening, displayed their own first instinct to the command: attack. Tomozou peeked up out of the sand just in time to see them both disappear.

He had no time to marvel, however. They were under attack, after all. Laying in the sand would only make them sitting--well, laying--ducks. He scrambled to his feet, reaching back for his sword as he did so. Enemy shinobi were already engaging them, and he tried to count them as he spotted them. One, two, three--no, four--five… They were outnumbered, at any rate.

-.-.-

Like any good Hyuuga, Neji did not keep his Byakugan active constantly. Most people expected him to, but if they really thought about it, the constant strain would probably make him go blind after a few short weeks, not to mention the drain on his chakra.

No, he usually only used the Byakugan those days to fight and to keep an eye on the children (unfortunately, those times seemed to coincide more and more often). As a Hyuuga, he had a very refined sixth sense about enemies. All shinobi had it, to some degree, but his came naturally, like a lot of unexpected gifts with the Byakugan. It was as if his body reacted to 360 degree vision, though it didn't possess it at the time.

It was this that allowed him to sense the enemy shinobi faster than either Sasori or Kakuzu and shout the order that probably saved all three of the kids' lives--not to mention his own neck. Whoever they were fighting, he knew immediately, was skilled enough to sneak up on them. (Never mind the fact that they had been distracted.)

Over the ridge of the nearest, tallest sand dune, three shinobi suddenly appeared. They slid down the side of it as if it were water, already armed. Neji didn't need his Byakugan active to see that they were shadow clones. What he couldn't see, due to all of the movement around him, was where the real body was. Regardless, he ran out to meet the two nearest, dispatching one with a chop to the neck and the second with a kick that pushed it into the third--they were all gone in a matter of moments.

How many are there? he asked himself, scanning the area. At least eight unique chakra signatures, so they were outnumbered. No--they would have been outnumbered anyway, because the children couldn't fight. Not shinobi like these.

Imagine his surprise when he saw Tomozou and Seishirou each fighting off an assailant. Not even fighting off; Tomozou was easily pushing the woman back, and Seishirou seemed to be on equal footing with his foe. When he didn't see Hitomi right away, though, Neji panicked. It was common sense to take out the strongest enemies first, but if said enemy had a weak spot, exploit it. It would be obvious to anyone that they were related.

Then, he spotted her, staying behind the Copy-nin puppet, shakily armed with a kunai. As long as she was hidden, she would probably be safe, but Neji wasn't going to take any chances with his only daughter.

-.-.-

Sasori found himself fighting against a woman with long, black hair and a proud, haughty glare. He instantly didn't like her, and figured it would be an easy fight, since proud shinobi were almost always overestimating their own skills. She surprised him, however mildly, when she dodged past several blows and even managed to graze his cheek with a kunai.

He was really only stalling for time, though. When Neji had shouted "Duck!", he and Kakuzu both instantly spread out to avoid getting surrounded. He had left his only convenient puppet, the Copy-nin, behind (and this woman certainly didn't get the honor of fighting his own body. He considered their current battle only stalling). For that small amount of time for her to engage him and exchange strikes, that was how long it took for his chakra strings to find Kakashi once more. Just after her kunai ghosted past his face, he connected with his puppet.

He yanked his arms toward her, intent on pulling the marionette over for a proper battle. She must have took the move for a punch, because she raised her arms in an X to block her face. This was odd, because she'd had plenty of time to duck--but Sasori found out why she did that soon enough.

He had decided to carry through with the movement, although instead of a punch he was going to stab her through the forehead with a jet of water. Sasori reached out and placed his palm against her wrist.

His hand suddenly wasn't there any more.

His muddy brown eyes widened as he reeled back, just as Kakashi skidded onto the scene. His hand, up to the wrist, simply wasn't there any more. He didn't feel any pain, just shock. Sasori's logical mind told him that it would make puppeteering interesting for awhile, since he hadn't fought with one hand for so long. His conscious mind, however, overrode that with a simple What the hell.

"Hah, wasn't expecting that?" the kunoichi said gleefully, grinning as she lowered her arms. Then, Sasori noticed that her skin had an odd sheen to it. She hadn't had it before, and she hadn't made any hand signs.

"What bloodline limit is that?" he asked curiously.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She seemed to notice the lack of blood for the first time. She tilted her head to one side, dropping her arms to her sides.

"Is it your skin itself that's changed, or is it some sort of film on top of the skin?" If it was the skin, it would carry over into a puppet. If it was a film… Well, he had no idea as to that one. Bloodline limits were fickle like that. He would only have to try to find out.

"Come here and I'll show you," she said, having regained her composure. She regained it just in time to have Kakashi sneak around her and stab her through the right lung. As predicted, the sword almost completely melted upon contact, but just enough of it punctured her body for what was intended. As the puppet gripped the blade, it created a Chidori.

The result was instant electrocution. The kunoichi gave a silent scream before collapsing. Sasori hoped she wasn't dead; that would be a handy puppet to have. Plus, with the lack of good ninja these days, his collection hadn't grown lately.

-.-.-

Kakuzu was facing off against the presumed leader of this squad of assassins. The man was irritatingly tough. Irritating, because he wasn't really strong enough to pose a real threat, but he wasn't going down very easily, either. He was in that tiny median between the two. He also reminded Kakuzu of Hidan; he just couldn't seem to kill either of them.

"I'm getting really fucking tired of this," Kakuzu groused. He already had to activate his iron skin ability, and the man was just fast enough to repeatedly dodge his physical attacks. It looks like he'd have to switch to ninjutsu. It seemed overkill, especially for a single man, but maybe Kakuzu would luck out and there'd be a bounty on his head.

Nah, I'm too goddamn ill-fated right now. I wouldn't get that lucky, he told himself, though only to get his hopes up. He often did that, so he was pleasantly surprised every time he did manage to get a hold of a good bounty. When one was partnered with a man like Hidan, one did what he could to find happiness.

"Then lay down and die," the ninja opposite him replied coldly.

"Not going to happen." Kakuzu mentally felt for the heart with the affinity for fire. It only took a little internal shifting to get it into a position to use it. Now he just had to choose a jutsu to utilize. That was always the toughest part of any battle, really. No one ever withstood more than one attack, so it's not like he got much of a chance to show off.

"What's the holdup, then? You don't seem very lively," the man said, tilting his head back a bit. His steel grey eyes never left Kakuzu's.

He smirked a bit under his mask. "Just wondering how to kill you. But you're really pissing me off, so I think I'll go for something artistic."

This particular fire jutsu was very basic in nature, but highly destructive. In fact, it was probably easy enough for a genin to learn, but it was that very danger that prevented any school from ever teaching it. Kakuzu himself only attempted it because he had his iron skin, he really hated the man standing across from him, and he had enough confidence to try to contain it.

He merely ignited the oxygen in the air around them with a spark of chakra.

Everything in a twenty meter radius promptly combusted. The good thing was that it stopped on its own; once the oxygen was gone, the burning would stop, and it wouldn't continue again once air rushed back into the scene.

Kakuzu had been holding his breath, and gratefully sucked in another once the flames vanished. His opponent was nothing more than a charred body (he himself was also slightly charred, but that was only slightly). It seemed that his move also caused a temporarily lull in the battle; everyone had turned to look at him.

"…Kakuzu, you bastard, I heard you call that artistic," Sasori exclaimed at last, breaking the silence.

-.-.-

The fight itself lasted little more than ten minutes. The injuries suffered (on their side, anyway) were minimal: Sasori was still missing his hand, but was otherwise unharmed, Kakuzu had a lot of small burns, and Neji had only taken a couple of kunai to his wrist when blocking an attack.

The kids were completely okay, and like any good ninja children, they let this go to their heads.

"You know, forget the Chidori, I wanna learn whatever it was Kakuzu-san used," Tomozou said conversationally, watching as Hitomi tried to bandage her father up. She insisted on playing the medic for some reason.

"Shouldn't you call him sensei then?" Sasori suggested, going along with the idea.

"I don't know. I'd like to learn that Chidori thing. Seems pretty handy," Seishirou said absently, lacing his fingers behind his head. "It's electricity, which means it doesn't have to be a direct hit to affect."

"Most ninjutsu acts the same way," Neji advised, wincing a bit. "Hitomi, I think you're cutting off circulation--"

"I am making a tourniquet," she said seriously.

"Yeah, but still… You could use it with metal, and water, too." Seishirou wasn't going to give up the Chidori that easily, especially since he had seen it used in action once more. "…That reminds me. What are we going to do with her?"

Sasori had insisted on taking along the kunoichi he'd electrocuted. The redhead only spared her a look of disinterest. "I am going to turn her into a puppet."

"What's her name?" Seishirou asked.

"I don't know."

"It's Haya. That's what one of the others shouted when you killed her," Tomozou replied with a grin.

"I didn't kill her. She'd be useless if I'd killed her."

"All I know is that I'm not going to be the one to carry her all the way to Ame." Kakuzu crossed his arms over his broad chest. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"I'll take care of Haya-chan."

"Do you always refer to your puppets so affectionately?" Seishirou asked.

"Depends on how well I knew them when they were still alive," replied the Suna-nin ambiguously.

"…I still want to learn the Chidori. What other techniques do you know?"

"I don't know all that many."

"How many can you teach us, then?!"

"Quite a few, I'd imagine. I've never been forced into a teaching role before, so I don't know how many of these techniques are teachable, and how many of them I have a sufficient understanding of to relate to another human being." Sasori idly examined his missing hand. The wood and metal were both cleanly cut, not even charred. "Hmm… It must have been some sort of acid or something chemical…" he murmured to himself, peering closely at the missing joint.

"…Holy shit, you lost a hand."

"And, as always, Tomozou-kun comes to the rescue of stating the thing no one wishes to speak of," Neji said flatly, wincing again as his daughter tightened the knot around his wrist even more.

Tomozou ignored the jab. "Why aren't you bleeding?! Hey, what's the wound look like?"

"Is it curiosity at his missing limb or curiosity at his body state that's compelling you to ask?"

"…Both, kind of," he admitted.

"Sasori is not bleeding because he is a puppet," Hitomi explained loudly. Sasori stiffened slightly; no one who had ever found out his secret had ever said it so bluntly. Or so casually.

"What?!" Tomozou looked hastily back and forth between the two. "That can't be true. That's a joke, right? Where are his strings? Who's the one controlling him? That can't be true."

"I'm the one controlling me," Sasori said sourly, wrapping his wrist in his sleeve. "Didn't you wonder why I didn't die--or bleed--when you stabbed me through the neck?"

"I thought it was some sort of jutsu… Or maybe you were holding your blood in through sheer force of chakra."

Kakuzu and Neji exchanged a glance. "Is that possible?" the Hyuuga man asked after a beat.

"Not that I know of."

"Can we do something now?" Seishirou asked plaintively, sighing. He'd already known all of this stuff, so he wasn't the one getting a revelation. He just wanted to learn something. Or do something. "That fight today--it only proved that we need to learn. Now."

"I am tired of being useless," Hitomi admitted, finishing up with her father's wound. Then she moved on to Kakuzu, much to his annoyance.

"I can't teach you the signs--if I could even remember them--to you," Sasori pointed out.

"We already know signs! Just name them!" Finally, Seishirou thought there was progress being made.

"Hitomi-chan doesn't know them by name," he said flatly. Hitomi turned scarlet at the added '-chan'.

"We can teach her!"

"Then get to it." Sasori waved his hand dismissively, ignoring them completely as he crouched down to inspect the body of Haya.

"But… That will take a long time," Tomozou realized. "You're stalling!"

"You should have thought of that before."

"Stop bickering, you three," Neji said loudly.

"We're not bickering!" the two boys retorted in unison. Tomozou continued, "Sasori-sensei said he would teach us ninjutsu, and now he isn't. By the time he gets his hand fixed--who knows how long that'll be?!"

"Plus, Hitomi-chan is a lousy student," Seishirou added.

"Am not!" she cried defensively, in the middle of standing on Kakuzu's knee to try to bandage his shoulder.

"She's a perfectionist," her brother corrected. "She won't do anything until she thinks she knows everything perfectly. It took a long time for her to even master the water-walking technique."

"I have a compromise," Kakuzu interrupted, pushing Hitomi gently off of him as he stood up. "I'll teach you all one single jutsu if you shut the hell up about it already."

"Yes!" the three agreed instantly, turning on him as a ray of sunshine. Neji sighed, knowing that it would end badly.

"Nothing too dangerous," he said, giving the Akatsuki member a sharp look.

"Of course not."

"What jutsu are you teaching us?" Tomozou asked eagerly, abandoning his inspection of Haya's body to sidle up to Hitomi and Kakuzu. Even Seishirou had appeared at that time by then, so Kakuzu had three fans crowding around him. Sasori snickered audibly.

"I'm teaching you all a different one," he announced calmly. The effect was instantaneous. Each kid was obviously thinking that it meant they could teach one another the technique, so by him teaching them each a different one, they all would have learned three. Kakuzu smiled a bit cruelly underneath his mask. That was exactly what he had planned.

"Definitely nothing too dangerous," Neji repeated, but now he wasn't so worried. He saw Kakuzu's logic as well, and if it would keep the children busy, then he was fine with it. Instead, now he was working on trying to loosen Hitomi's knot.

"Let's say nothing particularly offensive. Just versatile jutsus. Something for each of you." Kakuzu pretended to think, but he had long ago come up with this little plan for keeping them out of trouble, and had picked out a good jutsu for each of them. "For Tomozou, I think a water jutsu."

"Which one? I already know a few," he responded suspiciously. "It better not be some lameass one that you're going to try pawning off on me."

"In order to use water ninjutsu, though, don't you need water?"

"I already know the condensation jutsu," Tomozou informed him, crossing his arms. "Teach me something better."

"How about how to make it rain?" Once again, just like that, he had Tomozou's full attention. "It takes a fair amount of chakra to start it, but once you do, depending on the climate, it takes off on its own and can continue for quite some time. In addition for that, if you tweak it a bit, you can use it to trigger lightning and use the storm's wind for your own use, too."

"What about me?!" Seishirou burst in, unable to contain his curiosity any longer. If Tomozou got to learn how to make his own weaponry (because really, that's what rain was for a water jutsu specialist), then he definitely wanted to know what he got.

"Hm. I'm thinking origami."

Seishirou was not amused. "I'm serious."

"So am I."

Tomozou snickered. "You have fun with that, Sei. What does Hitomi-san get?"

"Chidori."

"What?!" Neji, Seishirou, and Tomozou all shouted at the same time, equally outraged.

"Kidding."

"Aw…" Hitomi sighed in defeat, hanging her head.

"For a girl like Hitomi, I'm thinking some sort of genjutsu--"

"No!" she exclaimed, narrowing her eyes. Kakuzu blinked at the outburst. "We are learning genjutsu from mother. We are learning ninjutsu now."

"Okay…" He wasn't the only adult present who was surprised with the foresight they'd had to plan that out. "…Who's the taijutsu teacher?"

"Neji-sensei," Tomozou replied. "What's Hitomi-san learning?"

"Just teach her something harmless and get on with it," Sasori called dryly.

"I do not want a harmless jutsu! It will have to be powerful for me to combat the Bijuu," Hitomi said simply, as if stating the obvious.

"You're not fighting the Bijuu," Neji replied sternly. "None of you are. You're only learning this because kids need to learn, and you might have to protect yourselves one day."

"Can you even use your chakra yet?" Kakuzu asked, poking the top of her head. Hitomi squeaked in indignation. He had messed up her hair, so she furiously set about trying to fix it.

"O-Of course I can use my chakra! I am not so incompetent--"

"We're not calling you incompetent, we're just wondering what kind of ninjutsu a nine-year-old girl needs to know," Seishirou said calmingly, "…But I want to learn something better than origami."

"Origami is both offensive and defensive, though. It's extremely useful."

"It's origami."

"A member of the Akatsuki relied almost exclusively on origami and she was strong enough to be the leader's partner," Sasori commented quietly. Seishirou decided to try his hand at origami after that.

Tomozou, however, heard that and his face went perfectly blank.

-.-.-

Seishirou… He's the son of the leader of the Akatsuki. And his mother… Shit, I never even asked! His partner was female! That's why Kakuzu said that about his mother… Tomozou cast a new eye on Seishirou. So he was the son of two Akatsuki members. Then… Then what? He didn't know. Knowledge was useful, only if it could be used--and he couldn't tell Seishirou about this. He promised, and anyway, it was nice to have a secret or two of his own.

So he's going to teach him origami jutsus because his mother knew it? What if Seishirou wasn't good at it? Were they merely hoping that he'd be proficient at it because of his genes? Slowly, Tomozou's face relaxed into a smirk. So Seishirou is the son of two Akatsuki-nin. Maybe that's why Sasori hasn't killed us yet.

"What jutsu do I get to learn?" Hitomi asked, staring up at Kakuzu pleadingly. Because of the height difference, it meant that her head was craned back as far as it would go; she looked even shorter, looking up at him like that.

"Is it really the best for you to be wasting your chakra on practice? Don't forget, your body needs a certain amount of chakra to support your spine," Sasori broke in. "It would probably be for the best if you sat this one out and practiced the techniques you already know, or--"

"I know, but I wish to learn something new, too!" she said with a vicious pout. Tomozou felt sorry for her, although he didn't get it. What was with that bit about her spine?

"What if you exhaust your chakra? You still don't know what will happen in that scenario."

"But--"

"Do you want to snap your spine again?" Sasori asked, voice deathly quiet. Hitomi went stark white, recoiling slightly.

Tomozou gaped. Again? When was the first time? Hitomi seemed like a perfectly fine little girl, with no back problems whatsoever.

Neji spoke up at that point, before Tomozou could ask. "Sasori, how did you attach this to her chakra system exactly? You're speaking as if it's entirely dependent on it."

"I'm not exactly sure. You're the one with the Byakugan, not me. I was more worried about the nerve endings and blood vessels than her chakra." The redhead shrugged, unperturbed. "I just assume that it's reliant on her chakra to remain flexible and in one piece. Vertebrae are very delicate, and come apart quite easily--"

"You assume?" Neji was very clearly getting into 'angry father' mode. Hitomi looked back and forth between the two, still pale, but at least not quite as much now. She fretfully pulled at the bottom hem of her shirt and bit her bottom lip, continuously turning her head back and forth between her father and her idol (or fiancé, since it was hard to know where exactly she placed Sasori in her mind after that).

"…C'mon, guys. Let's just get to Ame already. We can examine Hitomi-san there, and then we'll know how her chakra works," Tomozou interrupted.

"You're only going to worry us all at this rate. We can wait until Ame to learn these techniques so Hitomi-chan doesn't fall behind," Seishirou added.

Hitomi turned to the boys, seeming surprised at their loyalty. Surprised and touched. Kakuzu was less so. He just shrugged, and remarked, "I wasn't going to teach you anything until Ame, anyway. Unless you have a whole hell of a lot of paper. And even I wouldn't try making a rainstorm in the desert."

That reduced the boys' sacrifice significantly, but Hitomi didn't seem to mind. She left Kakuzu's side and stood between them once more, reaching out to hold Seishirou's hand. She smiled warmly at him. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well, if my baby sister is having problems, I'm not going to leave her behind, am I?" Seishirou rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly with his free hand. Tomozou laughed at his embarrassment.

"Um, thank you, too," Hitomi added shyly, color returning to her face in the form of a blush.

"Hey, no problem. We're just gonna have to stick together, you know? All for one type of deal. L-Like Sei said, we can't leave the only girl behind; that'd be mean."

"And you're never mean," Seishirou, over his embarrassment, said snidely, much to Tomozou's embarrassment. Hitomi just giggled, though.

"Can we move on to Ame now?" Kakuzu asked, watching them with disdain at the affection.

"Let's go," Neji replied, shifting his bag to the other shoulder.

-.-.-

End of Arc Three: Tomozou

-.-.-

Next Chapter: Into Ame! Hitomi and Seishirou adjust to the climate, whereas Tomozou is overjoyed at the constant rain and humidity. But--what's this? Ame-nin ambush the group! What are their intentions... and why are they so eager to get back to Amegakure before sundown?