Chapter 9

It had taken awhile but with the help of Graham, Emma had finally managed to track down the father of the two children Nicholas and Ava Zimmer – Michael Tillman, the town's auto shop owner. He had denied that the children was his (obviously, since the curse was still intact) but nights of studying Henry's book had led her to recognise him as the Woodcutter and the two kids as Hansel and Gretel.

Emma had given up; days of trying to convince Michael that the children were his and even showing him something belonging to Nicholas and Ava's late mother (which he recognised but still remained clueless about) led to no avail. Then came the time where she had to bring the children to Boston under order of the Mayor (yes, Regina still had much authority around here) to be put under foster care.

Reluctantly, she had packed the kids into the Sheriff's car but some efforts needed to be put in even at the last minute in the name of hope. And she was glad she had done it. Pretending her vehicle had broken down; Emma had called in Michael to check on it. Of course it was found out that there had been no problem, but that was not the point.

"Why did you call me down here?" He had asked, a bit annoyed as the two of them stood at the edge of the town.

Emma gestured toward the children in the Sheriff's car. "I just thought you needed to see your children one last time before they leave for good."

She watched as he remained silent and gazed at the children, for a very long time she might add.

Then he finally looked back at her and said, "I'll take them. I'll try to be a dad."

It was funny how things work. Emma had watched as the children were led back to his truck and they embraced, whether Michael Tillman believed it or not, they are family and it was sooner or later before they realise it as they fall into routine. Regina had looked a bit surprised when Emma had come to report to her about Nicholas and Ava finding their father, and maybe a tad bit scared. Emma knew the Evil Queen's curse was slowly falling apart, and it wasn't long before she could finally break it.

And break the Evil Queen along the way.

[-]

Regina fiddled with her pen as she sat in the Mayor's office. Things are slowly changing in Storybrooke; first had been the clock, who chimed its first chime in years. Then had been the times where she spotted Mary Margaret and David at the diner together, laughing and almost touching. The imp had been cooping himself up in his shop lately, suspiciously so. Even Ruby and Granny had started getting along well despite the countless times she had seen them arguing before.

It was scaring her. She needed answers, she needed reassurance. These thoughts were quickly pushed aside though, when Regina spun her chair around to gaze out of the window at her apple tree, which stood proudly in the sunlight of late summer. Just a week ago, that had been the very same spot where Emma and she had spent their first date.

The brunette smiled fondly as she recalled their easy flow of conversation, so much different from the fierce animosity they originally harboured for the other. Emma had listened to her ramblings about apples and gardening and baking. These were topics Regina enjoyed talking about but found no chance to, topics that she held much passion for, and topics that Regina was sure held no interest to the blonde. But Emma had smiled and nodded and even laughed at the right times, and Regina wondered if this meant something more.

Maybe one day, if she was brave enough, she could tell Emma the horrible truth. And maybe one day, if it was meant to be, Emma could still accept her for who she is. But right now was not the time.

A firm three knocks resounded on her office door and Regina spun back around, barking out a "Come in".

The repetitive thud of a cane as the figure strolled in was a huge hint as to who it was. Regina glared at Mr. Gold as the man stood with a smirk before her table, cocking his head in a bow.

"Madame Mayor."

Regina pursed her lips. Anything that came along with this imp was never anything good. "What do you want?"

"To settle some business, dearie," he replied, running a bony finger along the edge of a chair then inspecting his finger, as if the chair was as dirty as his past deeds.

"What," Regina snapped. She always hated the way the man would wind his true meaning around his words, as if speech was a puzzle itself.

He grinned at her and placed himself down on the chair, idly looking around. "You owe me something; something that I would like to cash in now."

Regina frowned and opened her mouth to protest before the memory from eleven years ago washed over her like an epiphany.

x

"Gold," Regina barked as she entered the dusty shop. The pawnshop had never been her favourite place in this town. It was too dark and musty, very much like Rumplestiltskin's cell back in the Enchanted Forest itself.

"I need a child," she immediately cut to the chase once she spotted him behind the counter, prey like vision focusing on her. "And I need your help."

He cocked his head. "Well I'm flattered, but uninterested."

Regina pursed her lips and refrained from rolling her eyes.

"Not like that," the brunette snapped, and then she took another inhale.

"I've spent all morning looking for adoption agencies; the wait lists were over two years long. But you Gold, you know how to cut through red tape. And if anyone can work this system to find me a baby, it's you."

Gold kept his face stoic, but Regina read it like a book.

"You wish to adopt."

"Well, don't look so surprised."

"Why I'm not," Gold immediately replied. "I'm sure you'll make a… mother of some sort."

Regina's patience was running low and sitting through a lecture of what kind of parent she would be from the imp did not top the agenda for the day.

"Can you help me," Regina snapped.

"Of course I can but a word of caution: ask yourself is this something you're ready for."

"It's something I need."

"Well that may not be the same thing," Gold softly said before looking up to stare straight at her. "I'll get you a child."

Regina nodded satisfied, and turned to leave before the imp spoke again.

"But whether or not that is helping you, remains to be seen. When you become a parent, you must put your child first no matter what."

She studied the nostalgic look on his face, something that the imp rarely manifests. They had worked together for so long and he had been her first teacher in the dark arts; there were many things in history they knew about the other, and there were also things that were kept quiet and never discussed. Regina knew Rumplestiltskin had been a father before, even after he had become the Dark One. And she knew that he had lost him, or rather his son had left him, tragically so. But she had never addressed the topic with him, more so because she was eager to master the dark arts quickly at the time.

The current look on his face proved just how much Gold missed and still loved his son, and she only smirked. Love is weakness, and this was just another evidence of that truth: how someone as powerful as the Dark One could be reduced to this sentimental face just because he loved. She needed the child for company, isn't that sufficient enough?

"I know," Regina replied.

"Also," Gold added, in a minute's time transforming into the Rumplestiltskin Regina was so familiar with. "Nothing I do is without something in return."

Regina narrowed her eyes, she knew this was coming. "Fine, name it."

Gold gave a cold smile. "Something, dearie."

She furrowed her brows in question. "Something?"

"Yes, something. But what thing exactly, I will only tell you when the time comes for me to need it. And when I cash this something in, you cannot refuse."

He smiled then, showing his teeth and Regina thanked the curse that it at least looked more decent compared to the rotting and yellow ones he had as Rumplestiltskin way back.

"Deal?"

Regina pondered. It couldn't be that bad and besides, what does she have in Storybrooke that the imp could possibly want? It was sure that Gold does not know about the secret vault she had under her father's mausoleum and whatever it was, Regina was confident she could twist her way out.

"Deal."

x

"So," Regina leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. "What is this something?"

She had not known what to expect, really: her apple tree, a death order, money (even though the brunette knew this was of least value to the imp than all the others)? What she definitely did not expect was Gold's next answer.

"Just a strand of your hair, is all."

"What?"

Regina could not help the tone of surprise that left her lips at the pawnshop owner's ridiculous request. She knew she could not refuse, but this was absurd.

"Why?"

"I'm looking for a new shampoo and your hair is exactly how I want mine to be," Gold casually shrugged.

It was bullshit and Regina rolled her eyes, Gold smirking as he enjoyed the look of annoyance on the brunette's face.

"So," Gold, ever the impatient one, spoke. "Are you going to do it or do you need my help?"

As he said it, the imp rose and reached into his pocket to take out a tiny hand scissors.

Glaring at him, Regina jerked back and growled, "Don't touch me."

Then almost gingerly, she grasped a strand from her own scalp and pulled hard.

"Thank you," Gold smiled as he received the strand from a scowling Regina. "I believe this will work just fine."

"Now, leave."

Her order had been heeded and Gold stalked toward her office door, but not before turning around the last minute.

"Isn't it nice to feel loved, your Majesty?"

And as Regina stood still staring at the space by her door long after he had left, she cannot help the chills that ran down her spine at the realisation from that mere statement. For one, her long time suspicion had been confirmed that Gold did retain his memories after the curse. But that was not even the most of her worries compared to the fact that Gold knew. He knew about her and Emma.

[-]

"… and we played catch and Ava even gave me a packet of M&Ms as an apology!"

Emma smiled as she listened to Henry after asking how things between him and the twins are. It seems like the twins were making efforts to be nicer, now that they were staying with their father. In her peripheral vision, she saw her roommate approaching them at the gates of the school.

"Hi, Ms. Blanchard!"

"Henry, remember to complete your homework," the pixie haired brunette smiled before turning to the blonde. "Emma, do you mind if Ruby comes over tonight?"

The blonde grinned. "Of course not, it's Friday after all. But one thing… I'm not staying for dinner tonight."

Mary Margaret raised an eyebrow before looking at a grinning Henry and understanding. "Oh, I see. Well, have fun at Regina's!"

The blonde caught her roommate's wink and rolled her eyes playfully. "Don't wait up, and you guys have fun too!"

The trio parted ways and Emma and Henry made their way to the Bug.

"Could you stay longer tonight?"

Emma swallowed. "I'm not sure if your mom would like that… I mean she always hates it if I show up impromptu."

That was only half the truth. The texts from Regina had been reduced to one word ones and when Emma had subtly asked about it, the brunette had just brushed it off saying things in the mayoral office were piling up. Even an idiot could tell that that was a lie; something had triggered Regina and Emma was determined to find it out.

Beside her, Henry waved his hand dismissively – something that he definitely got from his adopted mother.

"No worries, she likes you enough to not get angry," he grinned.

And Emma wanted – no, needed – to believe that. Otherwise, all her efforts from the beginning would come to naught.

"Alright," Emma shot a small smile to the boy. "To Mifflin Street, it is."

[-]

Regina loved her son, she really did. Even when he began going through the phase of believing that she was the Evil Queen and refusing to talk to her or even being in her presence, Regina had kept on showing concern and held on to the hope that it will pass. It did, fortunately. But it unfortunately came with a certain blonde.

The brunette tried not to shift in her seat as she pushed her sliced beef around the plate, something definitely out of her character and she was sure Emma had noticed. She had tried her best to engage Henry in conversation, conveniently ignoring the blonde whenever the two cracked up with their usual joke. It was as if Henry was the bridge that connected them with a gap in the middle.

When dinner ended, Regina had swiftly cleared the plates and tasked Henry with entertaining his birth mother. God knew she desperately needed space from her Emma and most importantly, her thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

A gentle voice roused her and Regina jumped, almost crashing the plates in the sink in the process.

"Ms. Swan," Regina glared as she turned to face the blonde. "It's rude to sneak up on people."

Emma held her hands up in defence. "I'm sorry, I thought you heard me. I did clear my throat."

Regina shut her eyes and tried her best to erase the image of the blonde. It was no use, Emma was everywhere.

"You seem jumpy tonight."

And there she was, invading her private space again. Regina cursed under her breath before taking a safe step away from the blonde.

"I'm perfect Ms. Swan, thank you. Now if you'd please excuse me."

"Regina."

A hand stopped her from leaving and Regina stilled at the contact, before quickly wrenching her hand away from it.

"Regina, please."

Emma's voice dropped into a mere whisper and Regina felt her heart clench. Sensing the brunette lowering her walls, Emma gently brought the brunette closer and coaxed her.

"Whatever that is happening, just know you don't have to face it alone."

Regina bit her lip. For once, she was feeling unsure about her next decision. On one hand; if she told Emma about Gold, the blonde might get suspicious about why she would fear the mere pawnshop owner knowing about her personal life. If she does not however, Emma might get the wrong idea about her hesitance to speak.

"Look Emma, I…"

Regina had been determined to stand strong, but then Emma smiled that damned smile that got her every time and all efforts were futile.

"It's okay if you don't want to say it, Regina. But whenever you're ready, my shoulder is always here."

"No, I…"

Regina trailed off, finally sighing.

"I really like the idea of there having an 'us' Emma, believe me I really do. I know I may have seemed reluctant all this time but I… There are difficulties and I don't know how to express them without you getting the wrong idea. And through all these, there is only one thing I am certain about: I really like you."

It was difficult for her to say all these, so Regina kept her eyes glued to the floor, her hands seeking refuge by gripping at the edge of the sink behind her. When she was met with silence, the brunette held her breath and slowly brought her gaze up to the blonde, who was openly grinning.

"I like you too," Emma softly said, slowly studying those plump red lips as she leaned in close. It was somewhat adorable and definitely sweet to see the flush on Regina's cheeks, so unlike her domineering character as Mayor. But Emma knew this was one big step for both of them, and she tried her best to feel happy – to revel in the sweetness she shouldbe feeling, however all that sounded was her thoughts.

"But I don't understand… Why were you scared?"

"Emma…" Regina tried, clenching her fists behind her now. "I was once… I've done a lot of bad things before. You… I…."

Oh Emma knew exactly what the brunette meant and the conscious part of her smirked. Quickly placing a finger on the brunette's lips, Emma shushed Regina.

"Everyone has a past, Regina. Just because whatever you have done have vastly affected you doesn't mean you're worse than other people."

Regina watched doe-eyed as Emma took another step closer until their bodies were practically molded against the other.

"Emma, wha-"

"Regina," Emma said with all the seriousness she could muster being in such close proximity with the brunette. "Shut up and kiss me."

And kiss they did. In one swift movement without hesitation, Regina connected her lips to Emma's and pressed tightly, breathing in the blonde. When Emma's tongue swiped her bottom lip in permission, the brunette gave in quickly as well – biting, licking and nipping in a desperate attempt to swallow the blonde whole.

It was their first real kiss – Emma knew, and she was going to make this goddamned right. Regina swept her up with so much enthusiasm and she was determined to do the same. Sliding her arms around the other woman's slender waist, every inch of space was eliminated from their bodies and Emma kissed back with as much fervor, one hand moving up to tangle in silk brown locks. Compared to their first time which only consisted of messy biting and inflicted pain, this was so much more.

Even when air finally drove a wedge between them, Emma did not stop. Gripping her hands on Regina's sides, she pulled on the zipper of the brunette's navy dress and shrugged the dress off, her mouth immediately gluing itself to the newly exposed skin – sucking and soothing the smooth skin.

Regina groaned as she grinded her hips against the blonde's pelvis, feeling her body strongly responding as arousal pooled between her thighs.

"Emma," she said between breaths. "We can't, Henry will-"

"Henry is upstairs, he won't come down."

Emma's voice was so low it sounded like a growl and Regina's protest was drowned by a moan when the blonde slipped her hands under her bra and massaged her breasts sensually, rolling the dark nubs into hardening peaks between her fingers.

"Fuck this," Regina mumbled as she brought Emma's face to hers and roughly sucked on her bottom lip.

Her hands slid downwards and undid the button of Emma's jeans, cupping her sex over her panties which were already drenched beyond belief. Regina smirked, memories from their first time flooding through her brain but this time it was different. There is feeling, and it was slowly pouring out of her from the walls of her heart to the tip of her tongue.

Emma groaned and grinded her hips down against Regina's hand, desperate for friction. She needed this; she needed release. It was so much easier without a heart, she mused. Regina was a beautiful woman, Emma had to admit that. She was no stranger to Regina's every curve and she knew which places for her fingers to grace to illicit the kind of moan from Regina that used to make her heart beat faster. But Emma was definitely foreign to the woman in front of her now; the woman whom she spent time knowing to understand enough of her fears and insecurities.

As Regina carefully entered her and slowly pumped (a stark contrast to their previous times), Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her even closer, burying her face in the woman's neck and inhaling as much as she could.

This is wrong, Emma thought as she moved against Regina between groans and gasps of pleasure. She should be hating this woman who ruined her family's life, who took away her parent's kingdom, who brought them all this misery. But Reina filled her the way you wear your favourite sweater, like a cigarette at five in the morning, and like a hot cup of coffee on the coldest of winters.

"Fuck, Regina. Harder, more," Emma gasped as she sucked fervently on Regina's neck and slipped her own fingers into the brunette's moist center.

"Emma."

Her name fell from Regina's lips like a breathy prayer and Emma felt herself nearing the edge, pumping relentlessly into Regina and roughly stroking the other woman's clitoris.

"Slow… Slow…"

Regina gripped Emma's wrist with her free hand and slowly guided the blonde's fingers within her in a gentler pace, resting her forehead against Emma's. "Slow, Emma. I want to feel you."

Emma bit her lip from begging. This was not what she wanted; she wanted it hard, fast and rough. Anything to make her feel physical pleasure and pain on the outside rather than the nothing she felt on the inside. But for Regina, she obliged.

"Yes, yes," Regina moaned as her walls clenched around Emma's fingers and she captured the blonde's lips once more, sucking hard on Emma's bottom lip as she came.

It was such a turn on to watch the beautiful woman come undone from her fingers and Emma felt herself on the edge.

"Regina," Emma near whimpered through swollen lips. "Make me come."

With only a final thrust into Emma and a hard massage on the blonde's clitoris by Regina, Emma tumbled over the edge with a weak release.

The two women leaned against each other half naked and panting, before Emma pushed herself away from Regina and quickly shrugged on her jacket. Although disappointed at the sudden loss of contact, Regina only reached for Emma and tugged, bringing them into another gentle kiss.

"Thank you," Regina murmured against Emma's lips.

"You shouldn't," Emma replied and she meant it, but the brunette only gave a low chuckle as she stepped away and carefully slip back into her dress.

"Do you want to stay for the night, Emma?"

It was a question with a huge commitment, but this time Regina was ready.

"I've been waiting so long for you to ask this," Emma grinned her reply as her hand sought the brunette's, intertwining their fingers together tightly.

The smile Regina gave at the gesture could light a thousand watt bulb and if Emma had a heart, it would have skipped two beats, just because Regina was worth more. As the brunette led her upstairs toward unspoken promises and uncertain futures, Emma felt a jump her heart – a tinge of fear and a mixture of relief.

Maybe having taking her heart out had been a good idea after all.

[-]

Henry narrowed his eyes between his two mothers as his brunette one kept stealing glances while the blonde one remained casually eating. He knew something was up when he came down for breakfast to find Emma already seated at the table, munching on his cereal. And then another surprise when his mother came with blueberry pancakes, one of his favourites (but he still preferred the apple ones more, not that he was going to admit that anytime soon).

"Mom?"

Regina snapped her head up at the sound of her son's voice and gave a smile, or what she hoped was a firm one. "Yes, dear?"

"Why is Emma here?"

The question was awkward, that much was evident. Henry watched as his mother shifted in her seat and swallowed, glancing at Emma nervously but the blonde only continued eating, fixing her gaze on Henry and smiling.

"Why, do you not want me here," Emma replied and Henry shook his head.

"No it's just… did you stay over?"

"No," Regina was quick to cut in. "Emma came really early in the morning to help me with something and then-"

Henry rolled his eyes and interrupted. "I'm eleven, not five Mom."

"Well, I guess the kid knows what he's learnt," Emma smirked and Henry pulled a gagging face before turning serious again.

"It's okay, you know."

At their questioning gazes, Henry only shook his head and smiled, moving to stand between his seated mothers. Reaching forward, he took the hand that had guided him through his growing years and the hand that he had grasped for and intertwined their fingers.

"I really, really like you two together," Henry shyly said as he watched his mother's almost surprised face. "It feels like we're a family."

Overwhelmed by sheer relief, Regina pulled her son into a tight embrace.

"Oh, Henry. I was so worried about what you might think."

"You don't have to, Mom," Henry smiled at his two mothers after he pulled back. "I like how it is now, we're all happy."

"We are," Regina murmured as she squeezed Emma's hand.

Emma looked between the two smiling faces in front of her and forced her facial muscles to respond. It was difficult, it was numbing, it was empty. People said not feeling anything was better than getting hurt. But they did not physically take their heart out; they did not know a single fucking thing about what it was like to feel literally nothing.

She felt no joy; even when Mary Margaret brought back her favourite bear claw with extra whipped cream on top, even when Henry told her the art and crafts project she had helped him with for hours had topped the class, even when Graham and Ruby teased her about Regina.

Yes, every single damned thing she had done after she stepped into this town was either directly or indirectly caused by or because of Regina.

As she felt Regina disentangle her fingers to clear the breakfast plates, Emma knew that the Emma-with-a-heart would have felt a jab of loss, no matter how tiny. Under all that tough crap, that was who she really was: a romantic and a hopeless dreamer. She had spent years in this land and the foster system had never been kind, surviving through all sorts of abuses alike. She had lost herself in the way, only focusing on finding her family and revenge.

But was revenge really that important? And now that she had actually met her parents, does she really want them back as parents instead of the good friends that had morphed into? Emma closed her eyes and shook her head, as if doing that could physically knock the thoughts out.

All this time Emma had wanted to break the curse and break the Evil Queen, but in doing so, she was slowly breaking herself.

A/N: I apologise for the late update! I've been so busy now that my finals are approaching and more deadlines, ugh. Life does get in the way of my dream to stay in bed and write fanfic all day, haha! I hope this chapter was worth the wait and thank you to all who have read, F&F, and reviewed!