Chapter 9, Part 1: Dead Without Her

Emmett's POV

Days had passed since she left. I'm not sure how many; they ran together.

I only knew that I missed her - her loving stares, the way we were so carefree together, kissing her, holding her. I kept the image of her battered arms in my head as punishment.

If I had just let her sleep with me, then she wouldn't have had that talk with Jasper.

If I had interrupted them when she yelled at him, she wouldn't have hurt herself.

Yes, I was the cause of her pain, just as I was the cause of my parents' deaths.

I went through each day the same way - I ate when I was hungry, I slept when I was tired, I showered when I felt unclean, I drank when I was thirsty, and I cried when I thought of Bella.

God, Bella was everything to me. She was my whole life, and she gave me a reason to live. She was gone, and now, so was I. Our love would never perish, but the way our hearts were intermingled at the same time our hands were was gone. The way our kisses lingered long after our lips parted was gone. The tingling feeling I got when she set her hand upon my cheek was gone. My beautiful, beautiful Bella…was gone.

No one could talk to me. They all had tried, but I only vaguely remember Rose speaking to me the day I found out Jasper took my love away.

My sister walked into my cabin, and she noticed the poem in my hand. She read it, saying that it was only Bella's words on the paper, and that she had no idea she was helping her with a goodbye present. She sat on my bed next to me, holding me tightly in her maternal-like embrace. We sat there forever, just crying into each others' shoulders. We were finally getting our sobs to die down when we heard a small, pixie voice talking her way into my room.

"Do either of you know where Jasper and Bella are?" she asked.

Rose and I looked at each other, began crying again, and held our arms out to Alice.

"They're gone, aren't they?" We nodded. "Oh, god. My Jazzy's gone…"

We sat there for hours, tears falling from each of our eyes. Nightfall came, and Alice retired to Jasper and Bella's room. Rose finally had a chance to talk to me.

"Oh, Emmett. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I love her, too. She's become so close to my heart. She'll be back. Like the poem says…only fifty-three days before we see her again."

"Exactly, Rose! Fifty-three fucking days! That…that…that PRICK! He took her away! He took my life away!" I yelled.

Rose just held me. "You're right," she whispered. "He did, but you will see her again. She's going to be in Forks when we get home."

I nodded, and we began to cry again well into the night. It was 3am before we fell asleep, holding each other on my bed.

I woke up once again to Rose holding onto me, still deep in her sleep. She slept in my room ever since Bella left. I picked up my cell phone off the nightstand and maneuvered through the menus until I found what I was looking for.

The calendar.

I counted the days until we arrived home, and I found that I had been wasting away a lot longer that I could've imagined. We were heading back to Forks the next day. I began laughing hysterically, waking up Rose in the process.

"What the hell, Em?" she asked groggily.

"We're heading back home tomorrow!" I exclaimed.

She was suddenly awake and happy as well, holding me in a tight embrace before going to the intercom system on the boat and screaming it through the speakers.

Everyone was pissed at her for ruining there sleep, but extremely excited about the idea of home. They had all been suffering.

Alice because her boyfriend, her love, had left her without warning.

Rose because Bella had become like a sister to her, and she felt my pain.

And Edward because Rose, Alice, and I were in so much pain.

Edward couldn't even begin to feel what we were feeling, for he was not close to Bella and was not fond of Jasper since he found out that he yelled at Bella for cutting herself.

I couldn't wait to go home, to see my Bella, but I would have to.

Even though I was positive I would see the one who held my heart tomorrow, I could not help the feeling that I was completely dead without her.

Chapter 9, Part 2: Dead Without Him

Bella's POV

"Jasper!" I yelled, as he threw me into the Pacific Ocean surrounding Hawaii while I was fully clothed.

"Sorry, sis. You need to live a little bit," he said, as if that explained why he did it.

"I'll show you how to live a little bit," I growled, as I stalked out of the water and up in front of him.

"Now, kids…Don't fight. We're supposed to be having a good time," Charlie declared.

"I was having a good time back on the boat," I mumbled to myself.

"Yeah, then you went and cut your wrists again," Jasper muttered.

"What?!" Charlie exclaimed. "You've been cutting yourself?!" I flinched away from his voice. "When did this start? Oh, Bells…I'm so sorry. You can tell me anything…" he said, softer now.

"When did you start caring? Oh, that's right. When I was dumped on your doorstep," I retorted, walking away and up to our beachfront hotel.

I ran to our suite and into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I cried and cried for I don't know how long until I heard a knock on my door.

"Get the hell away from me," I hissed.

"I was just going to tell you that it's time to go. We're going back home," Charlie's voice came through the door.

"Be right out!"

My bags were already packed; I was ready a week ago. Even though we were right on the beach, I only went out every couple, preferring the indoors and Emmett a hell of a lot more.

Emmett…

Just as his name entered my mind, I realized that I had been a zombie since I left that yacht. Our love was endless, but without him near me, it felt like I had imagined it all. He was the only one who ever understood me, besides Rose, of course. But Emmett loved me with all of his heart, despite the cutting and the rape. Despite the broken girl I had become. He loved me, and I loved him, too.

We arrived at the airport not twenty minutes later, and I was hardly aware of the security checks and giving my ticket to the woman at the stand. I sat in my coach seat and thought only about Emmett and how John said I would never be worthy of another person's love again.

"Hey, Bella. I want to show you something," John said, when I answered the door.

I was afraid he'd hit me if I told him that I had too much to do, so I just nodded and said, "Sure."

We had been going out for seven months now. Everyday, he would hit me. Sometimes, he'd do more than that, but he always said he loved me, and me being the fool I was, I believed him.

We had been driving for about an hour, and I finally got the courage to ask, "Where are we going?"

"Oh, you'll see," he answered, with an evil smirk playing at his lips.

We drove into the woods, and I thought that he was going to kill me. No, I knew it. I was so fucking scared that I almost peed my pants from shaking too much. He stopped the car and got out, coming around to my side of his old Mustang.

He tugged on my arm, hard enough to where I hit my head on the door, and said, "Get out, you stupid little bitch."

I complied, not wanting to make this worse than it could be.

I stood in the middle of the forest with my head down, and John was in front of me. He forced his lips onto mine and maneuvered his tongue into my mouth. I tried to pull away, but he just tangled his hand into my hair and began pulling at the scalp. I screamed into the kiss, and he pulled away.

"No one will hear you, Bella. No one's going to save you…"

He unbuttoned my shirt and threw it to the ground. He proceeded to take off my jeans, leaving me in nothing but a bra and panties. He discarded his clothes quickly, standing before me naked.

"Take off your bra, Bella," he commanded.

I was scared, but I shook my head no. He ripped the bra from me and pulled my hair down, eliciting a scream from me.

"You will do as you're told, my pretty Bella." I nodded. "Take off your underwear." I did. "On your hands and knees."

Oh, god. I knew what was coming, so I tried to run. He grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me into a tree, and I felt my right arm crunch. I yelled for help as he held me down to the hard ground.

"Please…John…Don't do this. I love you…" I said.

"Shut up, you little whore," he replied, and I did.

I kept struggling. I didn't want him. I didn't love him, but I said it all, knowing it wouldn't work. He positioned himself at my entrance.

Tears were running down my face. "Please, don't…"

His only answer was thrusting into me, breaking my barrier and causing me to cry out. He pounded into me over and over, tearing my interior walls. He finally unloaded his seed into me and pulled out, laughing.

"I always knew I'd get what I wanted from you…" he sighed.

He put his clothes back on and went to retrieve something out of his car. He came back with a long, butcher knife. I couldn't bring myself to get up and run; I was too weak. He trailed the knife all over my body, barely letting it touch the skin. It made me internally beg for him to just kill me already.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…Do you know why you're here?" he asked. I sat still on the ground. "Answer me!"

I flinched and said, "No."

He dug the knife into my right shoulder, hitting the bone underneath all of the skin. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"You've been a terrible girlfriend, not giving me what I desired all these months. I had to forcefully take it from you. Isn't that sad?" he asked.

"Yes, so sad…"

He then dug the knife into my left shoulder, once again making it all the way down to the bone. I tried to hold in my cries, and it came out as a quiet whimper. He sliced cuts all the way down my left and right arms, causing me to bleed, but not enough for me to die or black out.

"Why are you doing this?" I questioned. I shouldn't have.

"Why am I doing this?! You should know!" He kicked me hard in the stomach, and I knew he broke something. "You've been hanging out with that Indian dude for the last few weeks, never having any time for me!" He dragged the knife along my left thigh.

"Jacob's my friend…"

"And he's not me!" he yelled, slicing my right leg. He continued the cuts all the way down my legs. When he was done, he cut a long path along my hairline, causing me to almost pass out. He kicked me once again and said, "But you're not worthy of my love anymore. You're not worthy of anyone's love. You deserve to die. Everyone's going to hate you anyway." He stomped on my left leg, and I passed out, the breaking of the bone taking it's toll on my battered body.

I woke up in a hospital. IVs were hooked up to me, and I had casts on my arm, my leg, and a brace around my middle.

"Miss Swan! You're awake!" the doctor exclaimed. "You've been out for three days. Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes, very clearly," I answered.

He left the room and came back with a detective. "Miss Swan? This is Detective Taylor. Could you explain it to him?"

I nodded, and the detective sat down. I explained the whole ordeal in detail, watching him as he felt my pain.

"Miss Swan, what was his name?" he asked.

"John Thomas…" I whispered, falling into a deep sleep.

I was knocked out of my reverie when the woman announced that we were landing. I smiled, knowing that I'd see Emmett the next day. God, I loved that brown haired, blue eyed, dimpled face boy. He was my life. When I left, I became dead inside. Yes, I was completely dead without him.

A/N: Sorry for how long Bella's memory was, but I was explaining what happened.