Chapter 12, Part 1: Karaoke Night
A/N: There won't be a lemon in this, but there will be sexual themes. Review!
Bella's POV
Those were the last words I heard from Emmett Hale.
It'd been six more months. School would be out in four weeks, and the seniors were having a karaoke night instead of prom. The school took a vote, but it barely won.
I was getting dressed up when Shane knocked on the door to pick me up. I opened it, not realizing that I was wearing only a pair of short shorts and a tank top. I immediately went to cover myself, but Shane's hands stopped me.
"Don't. You're beautiful, no matter what," he whispered.
I blushed. "Let's go upstairs. I have to finish getting ready."
We headed to my room, and once we were inside, I pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt.
"Really, Bella? It's spring, and you're still wearing fall clothing. Let me pick out something for you…"
He went to my closet and pulled out hangers and hangers of clothes - the clothes I wore before everything that happened. He lifted a black, strapless, sequin-covered dress out; it was about four or five inches above the knee.
"Wear this," he commanded softly.
"It's so…showy. What if people find out what I used to do? What if they notice the scars from the beating?" I asked.
"They won't. Please just do it for me…"
I grabbed the dress out of his hands. "Fine. Turn around."
He did as he was told, and I took off my tank and shorts. I slid the dress on over my naked chest and underwear. I just stared down at the sparkly attire, remembering the last time I wore it.
It was tenth grade, first dance of the school year. John was taking me, and I bought this dress for the event. Before we left, he told me he loved me for the first time. I smiled and said the same thing. We kissed, his lips soft against mine. That was the old John, though, before things went downhill in January.
I remembered that the date was November 9th, and John's birthday was in exactly one month. I was so surprised that I still had the details memorized.
When I finally looked up, Shane was standing in front of me. "Are you okay, Bella?"
"Yes. Sorry. The last time I wore this dress was…John and I were just on good terms is all." I looked down, fidgeting with my hands.
He placed his hand upon my cheek and lifted my face back up. "Bella, you're so amazing. For these last eight months, you've been the highlight of my day, everyday. This isn't easy for me to say, but…I think I've fallen for you…" he whispered.
I looked deep into his eyes. "Shane, you've saved me from myself, and I thank you for that, but if we do try this out, it's going to be a little hard for me at first."
"I'm willing to try…"
Then, I thought of Emmett.
What would he say?
Oh, yeah. That's right. He'd say the same thing he said six months ago…
If we go our separate ways, we both might have a chance of forgiving and forgetting. Forgiving each other for even allowing ourselves to be together for so long, and forgetting about everything we ever had.
He wanted to be able to forget. And so did I.
"Okay, Shane. I am, too." I smiled widely, then kissed him sweetly, the kind of kiss John gave me the first time, the kind that Emmett's lips mimicked.
I slipped on a pair of three-inch, black, strappy heels - a death wish that I was talked into by Shane - and grabbed his hand. I had already done my hair and makeup before he even got there, so we got into his beautiful, black Mercedes. It reminded me of Carlisle's car - Emmett's dad.
We headed to the huge stage they set up in the football field, and I was surprised to see a big crowd. We made our way to the front to pick out my song. Shane wasn't going to sing, but he tried to talk me into it, and like always, it worked.
The first few people who sang were really good, with the exception of one guy who seemed like he was slightly drunk. After about twenty more minutes of songs, Emmett got on stage. The song he sang took my breath away. I knew that song by heart. It was Boys Like Girls' Up Against the Wall.
It's over, look out below
I'm wasted
I still taste it
Yeah, it's so hard to let go
So breathe in, now
And breathe it out
The forecast
A car crash
It's looking like another breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart
I hope to die
And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then, you threw me up against the wall
Who said that "It's better to have loved and lost?"
I wish that I had never loved at all
No rewinds, no second times
And I won't break
I won't waste everything you left behind
So don't follow
Just let it go
The weather's been better
Don't let it be another breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart
I hope to die
And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then, you threw me up against the wall
Who said that "It's better to have loved and lost?"
I wish that I had never loved at all
All those nights you spent sitting nowhere
Out there on your own
All the nights I waited by the phone
When you were going in alone
And all your different faces and all your different ways
Are making everything a mess
And all I'm saying is that
All your different places and all the complications
Led to this
And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then, you threw me up against the wall
Who said that "It's better to have loved and lost?"
I wish that I had never loved
And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then, you threw me up against the wall
Who said that "It's better to have loved and lost?"
I wish that I had never loved at all
He got off the stage, and I realized that I was crying. Shane looked at me and began to wipe away the tears quickly.
"Don't cry. It's okay. I'll help make everything okay," he cooed into my ear as he held me close.
About ten minutes later, my face was made up again, and I was on the stage about to sing. I was going to sing a song for Emmett, but decided against it. There was another song that called out to me - Plain White T's' Bruises. I didn't care if it was a boy band because I was sticking to my decision. I closed my eyes as the music began.
She tries to hide the bruises
She says it wasn't him
But sometimes he loses his temper
And again, he'll come home and look for a fight
But she tells herself it's alright
She hopes someday it's alright
She doesn't tell anybody, but everyone can tell
That there's something she hiding
She hasn't been herself
But she still goes out every night
She tells herself it's alright
She hopes someday it's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
She has to make excuses for all of this abuse
And it's sad
The truth is she's scared of what he'll do
If she'd ever walk out of his life
So she tells herself it's alright
She hopes someday it's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
She sits, and she waits
It's not getting any better
It's never too late
But she knows it's now or never
She'll get up the strength to stand up to him tonight
'Cause she knows that it's alright
It's alright
She says today she's leaving
She says she's had enough
Sick of being mistreated
She knows that isn't love
So tonight, she's saying goodbye
And she tells herself it's alright
Yeah, she knows she's gonna make it tonight
Yeah, she's finally going on with her life
And she knows that it's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
It's alright
She sits, and she waits
It's not getting any better
It's never too late
But she knows it's now or never
She'll get up the strength to stand up to him tonight
'Cause she knows that it's alright
I finished, and everyone was clapping. I asked them politely to quiet down, and they did.
"Thank you, everyone. That song was inspirational to me. I've been living here in Forks for about a year and a half, and I don't think any of you know who I really am, so I'm going to tell you all a bit about myself. I'm sure you've heard most of the rumors anyway. My name is Bella Swan. I'm eighteen, and I lived in Phoenix, Arizona for most of my life. Right now, I live with my father, Charlie Swan, and my brother, Jasper. The reason I'm here is because the summer before I came here, I was raped and almost beaten to death." I heard the whole audience gasp. "I'm fine, now, and the guy is locked up in the Phoenix prison. Then, over Christmas break, my mom and step dad were in a car accident. They were killed. It devastated me, and I had to move in with my dad, whom I hadn't seen in over twelve years, and my brother, whom only visited every other summer. Charlie is a good dad, though. He keeps to himself, and that's all I could ask for, because I know he still loves me. And Jasper is…Well, we fight a lot. Sibling rivalry, I guess you could say, or just plain old hatred towards each other sometimes. We have our differences, but I still love him." Even if he doesn't love me. "So that's why I'm not outgoing or adventurous or crazy like everyone else. But now, there's another reason. When I first came here, Emmett Hale had been nothing but nice to me, and I treated him badly, not wanting to have any friends. But then, the more I saw him, the more I fell for him. He was like sunshine on a cloudy day, as cliché as that sounds, and he brightened my soul and my heart. Emmett, if you're still here, I love you so much, and I'm sorry. I have been for six, no eight months. I understand that you wanted to forget about me if you couldn't have me just yet, but face it, neither one of us has forgotten anything that went on between us. Emmett, I want you to know that I'm trying to move on for you. I'm trying to be a good person and leave you alone like you asked, and as of today, I started dating Shane Winston. I love him, too, Emmett, but I will always have a huge place in my heart for my Teddy Bear. Thank you all for listening, and thank you, Emmett, for being there for me when I needed you most and letting me go when it was too hard for us both. You taught me a valuable lesson."
I set the microphone down and began running off the stage, crying. I should've known better because I fell down the side steps, but luckily, Shane was there to catch me. I buried my face into his chest and sobbed. He took us to his car and set me in the passenger seat. He got in on the other side and drove us to his house. I'd been there a thousand times during the school year, and the beauty of it never got old. It was similar to Emmett's, but much more elegant. Emmett's home looked more sophisticated, while Shane's was very detailed with old Victorian designs. He took us up to his room.
"I'm sorry," I whispered when I finally calmed down.
"Don't be. I knew you still loved him, so it wasn't a surprise, but you saying that you loved me was." He smiled at me, his gaze filled with adoration.
"It shouldn't have been. I was pretty sure it was noticeable for the last couple of months…" I trailed off, slightly embarrassed by what I just confessed.
"Well, I love you, too."
He leaned his head down to kiss me with a question in his eyes. I nodded, and our lips met in the middle. This was a kiss like no other that I had ever had. This was a kiss that was supposed to make me forget. But I didn't care at this point. I wanted to forget. Everything. I threw my all into the kiss and licked his lower lip. He let me in, and our tongues slid against each other easily. I finally pulled away, gasping for air.
"I…love you…too," I panted.
He smiled, both at his affect on me and the fact that I said it back so easily. I only wished that the smile belonged to Emmett.
Damn it, Bella! Stop! Emmett's gone! You have someone in front of you that loves you! Love him back like he deserves, like you deserve!
I did love him. More than I should have, but not enough to erase the memory of Emmett's perfect, smiling face.
We ran our hands softly and affectionately over each others' bodies, memorizing every curve, every indentation. He ran his hands over my thighs, and I gasped. I had plenty of scars there.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked, alarmed.
"No, my legs are just covered in scars…"
He laid me down on his bed and hovered over me. He kissed me quickly, then moved down my body, his gaze landing on my upper legs. He traced my scars with his forefinger, and I grinned at how gentle he was. He kissed every mark, every memory of that day in the woods. He ran his hands all the way up to my sides, under my dress. He rubbed soothing circles there, and I sighed. He was making me soak my panties at the tender, loving gesture. I pulled him back to me.
"Either you have to stop touching me like that, or I'm going to have to seduce you in your own bedroom," I growled.
His eyes lit up. "I guess I won't stop, then."
He rested his hands on my hips beneath the fabric and kissed me passionately.
"Please, Shane…"
He hooked his fingers in my underwear and pulled them down. I kicked them off when they reached my feet.
"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, we just started dating today, but I've been wanting to be right here with you for the past three months at least."
"Same here. But I know you love me, and I love you. That's all that matters."
"Okay," he grinned.
He slid off his jeans and took off his shirt. I sat up and shimmied the dress off of my form. He shook his boxers off and our clothes ended up landing in a pile beside his bed.
I kissed his sweet, soft lips gently. He deepened the kiss, and soon, I was back to laying down on his bed with Shane hovering over me, our lips still connected.
That night, we made love well into the morning. And he successfully completed his mission.
He made me forget.
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Chapter 12, Part 2: Karaoke Night
Emmett's POV
I haven't spoken to Bella in six months.
I thought I was doing the right thing by abiding by the rules I laid down for us both, but god, I missed her. I missed her white smile, her chocolate eyes, her mahogany hair, her loving gazes. She made me happy when I was down, which was a miracle. My sister used to be the only one capable of doing that, but not anymore.
God, I wished I had said anything to her besides telling her not to bother me anymore. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I would do anything to keep her happy, keep us happy together.
But I ruined my chances of that.
I was miserable without her to say the least. I had become something that I despised - a guy who substituted sex for love. Marie and I had been dating for five months, and we'd fuck every time we saw each other, every time it was possible to do it.
Don't get me wrong, I loved Marie Loughton, but it wasn't like with Bella and me. Marie and I were kind of expected to be going out, but even if we weren't and I had never met Bella, I think we would still have been together. The way she kisses me is urgent, like it's the last time we'll see each other, but loving and slow, as if contradicting her own thoughts. When she looks me in the eyes, which is quite often, I can see the compassion she has for me, the adoration, and I'm sure my gaze mimics hers, although mine is more hollow, now. I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with her, but we could probably last a few years.
Well, enough about my current girlfriend and back to my former one.
Like I said, I missed her, and I was so desperate that I would do anything to get her back, including singing in front of the entire senior class to get my point across.
I got to the football field a little late, and Andrew Victor said there had only been about ten minutes of songs. I went up to the D.J. and gave him my name and song. Twenty minutes later, I was singing Up Against the Wall. Everyone knew I was singing it for Bella, despite the fact that I kept glancing at her every few seconds. I finished my song, and as soon as I did, I left with Marie.
We fucked all night long, for her parents were gone for the weekend.
Bella apologized to Marie, and Marie returned the favor. They were on friendly terms, and I'm sure they'd be very close if it wasn't for me.
But at that moment, while I was screwing my blonde girlfriend, I was riveted by the fact I was thinking that.
Why did it matter to me if they could be friends or not?
I knew…Because I wanted Bella to have as many friends as possible. Bella, on the other hand, had other ideas and only talked to that British guy, Shane Winston.
I felt terrible for not talking to Bella for the last twenty-four weeks, and even more terrible that I told her to leave me alone for good. The truth is I didn't want her to leave me alone. I wanted her to beg me to stay, to tell me that she really did love me and that she would be with me. But as I realized what I had wished for, I also realized how much of a dick I was being.
Why make Bella choose when she was so clearly not ready?
I could've been her friend, but I chose not to be.
I was pulled out of my reverie as Marie screamed with her umpteenth orgasm that night. I shot my load into her, and we both fell asleep in each others' embrace.
The last thought I had before I went to sleep was what Bella had thought of my voice, no matter how juvenile the thought may seem…