Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight, not me.
The contents of this file is confidential. And may not be suitable for people who are actually aliens coming from the new Harry Potter movie (I know! What is up with that?!) and are planning to eat everyone's wands. So, you normal people out there with wands, yeah, hide them. Before Voldie (Voldemort) rings the doorbell and breaks them over Bellatrix's knees. I should know people, he did it to me! And then ate all of my clothes! Couldn't he have eaten Bella's clothes at least?!
Anyway, this file can only be accessed by Personnel – I finally know what it is! – so enjoy, my Personnel brother and sisters out there.
Full Name: Emmett Borat McCarty.
Prefers to be called: The Local Town Idiot.
Occupation: To beat up Borat whenever he chases Pamela Anderson.
Age: Ask Homer Simpson.
Source of Education: Disney Channel.
Location: Don't have a map.
Parents: Basically, everyone in the world.
Siblings: That blonde from the Brady Bunch Family.
Hobbies: ……………………………………………
Favourite item of clothing: A pink tutu he got for Christmas. Wears it everywhere.
Appearance: Go to a zoo and you'll find out.
Size: Makes Homer Simpson look like a size zero.
Bedtime: After he has his milk and cookies.
Quotes done by Emmett:
'It's nice.'
'You wanna piece of this?! Hey punk! You wanna piece of this?! Oh sorry, sir, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that stupid wall!'
'I know what one plus one is! Wait, give me a minute.'
'Ha ha ha aha ha ha aha!'
'We're so gonna kick your ass……Uh, what are we supposed to be doing? I forgot.'
'What's the difference between Coke and Diet Coke? You Humans baffle me.'
"I'm Borat, Carlisle's Bruno and Jasper's Ali G. Edward can be that bald guy.'
(Somewhere in the back.)
Note from Alice:
Finally! Emmett's done. And I can't believe I had to move the whole file, including Bella's, to under Edward's bed. Jeez, that was such a hassle.
Note from Bella:
Lol! This is so funny! And since when did Edward have a bed?
Note from Alice:
For a long time… Oh, and I would appreciate it from what we are, we should be called Tomatoes. O.K?
Note from Bella:
Umm, okay. But that means from what I am, I should be called…..Hedgehog. Ok?
Note from Alice:
O.K!
Note from Emmett:
You guys are bullies! I can't believe you did this to me! And my middle name is not Borat! I don't even like the guy! He reminds me of Chief Swan!
Note from Bella:
Excuse me? Watch, you're getting licks.
Note from Emmett:
Oh shut up tiny person. Don't think that because I'm stupid doesn't mean that I am stupid.
Note from Bella:
……
Note from Alice:
????
Note from Emmett?
Wait, Edward has a bed?
Note from Alice:
Duh!
Note from Emmett:
What does that mean? You doughnuts confuse me!
Note from Alice:
We're tomatoes. And so are you!
Note from Emmett:
Oh! Can't we be Pasta?
Note from Alice:
No! The Jury has spoken.
Note from Emmett:
O.k, o.k. Keep your eyelashes on. But does Edward seriously have a bed in his room?